It's 1:54a.m, and I'm finding it hard to sleep.
Even the cool air of the aircond is not helping.
I have a full day today. I have classes from 9:00a.m until 12:00pm, 2:00pm until 3:00p.m and 4:00p.m until 5:00p.m. I desperately need to sleep, unless I don't mind my students seeing me sleeping in class today!
And as always, when I can't sleep, the deafening silence of the night would make me reflect and remember the things I've done or said, and the things others have done and said which have been there at the back of my mind, waiting for a night like this to knock on my head again.
And tonight, I remembered a conversation I had with Hilman last week.
We were on our way home to SD and I was driving along the normal route we would take from the school, and as we were approaching the flyover besides the Bukit Kiara Cemetary, Hilman asked me,
Hilman : Mommy, when is dusk and dawn? What's the difference?
(Can't blame him - I think I got confused between those two, too, when I was his age :))
Me : Dawn is when the sun rises, and dusk is when the sun sets. Solat subuh masa dawn, and solat Maghrib masa dusk.
Hilman : Ohhhh, okay? What is your favourite time of the day, Mommy?
Me : Hmmmm, I don't know. I don't have any favourite times. They're all the same kot? But, I love it when it rains, and then it stops, and the sun comes out again - especially in the late afternoon. It feels so fresh and nice. Why do you ask?
Hilman : Errrrr, nothing.
He was silent for about 10 seconds, and then he said -
Hilman : My favourite time is dusk, Mommy - because that's when you can see all the beautiful clouds in the sky...
I looked at him and I saw him staring at the vermillion sky in front of us - his eyes fixed on the clouds above the skyline.
And just then, it dawned on me just how long it had been since the last time I sat down, and appreciated, and I mean REALLY APPRECIATED the fact that I had woken up at the dawn of a new day, and had been given the chance to live through that day to see the sun sets at dusk, EVERYDAY for every single day of my life until now. And not just appreciating the colours they bring with them. But,even more so, to have been given the chance to share those days with those who matter most in my life.
Thank You, ALLAH, for giving life to me, and to my loved ones...
Thank you, ALLAH, for still giving us our dawns and our dusks...to live another new day, every day...
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10 comments:
Assalamualaikum kak,
Alhamdullillah kita masih hidup utk hari ini, Insya-Allah.
Bila saya baca nie, betul kak... hilang rasa stress, hectic life, workload bila dibandingkan dengan nikmat dan anugerah yang Allah bagi.
Pagi tadi masa bangun sahur, terkejut saya bila anak saya bangun dan cari saya. saya tanya kenapa turun? "Muiz cari mak, muiz rindu kat mak"
Subhanaallah, tak dapat saya gambarkan perasaan saya masa tu. Terharu, gembira... Anak2 merupakan anugerah dan amanah Allah kepada saya dan suami.
Yes, i do need to stop and smell the Roses. :D
Thank you kak for the gentle reminder :D
Lapang rasa dada baca :)
Thank you Kak Shana, for this. Sebak I baca.
You have a philosopher there in Hilman, Shana...
I always enjoy talking to children and listen to what they have to say. Sometimes when we are so warped in our own lives, we forget to stop and reflect. That is what children are for - to remind us of the little things that meant so much.
Yes, thank you God for all the wonderful things you have created on this earth for us. Sometimes, kita alpa dengan kehadirannya.
Wa a'laikumussalam 1na.
Kita sama-sama ingat mengingatkan to appreciate and be grateful with the things yang selalu we take for granted :)
It really warms our hearts when the kids show their love to us openly, kan? It's sad when they're all grown up and stop doing that. Sementara anak-anak ni masih manja dengan kita, we should really enjoy them :)
Yes, they are amanah Allah to us, and we have to tunaikan amanah dan tanggungjawab kita the best we could. Insya Allah.
Amy,
Akak pun... Lapang dada bila menulis... :)
Amy @ MrsA,
You're welcome, dear :)
But, sorry if I've made you sebak...
MA,
I agree...Sometimes kids perceive things differently from us, and they can unruffle so many things yang dok bersarang dalam hati kita, dalam kepala kita, with the simple statements or observations they make.
I love listening to them, too - not just when I'm having coversations with them, but also when they're having conversations amongst them.
I think kids around Hilmans' age, just like your Adek, do have that philosopher's views on a lot of stuff. They are at a stage where they're learning new things, and sometimes they'll find their own ways to explain those things which they do not understand, and this gives us new perspectives to old issues. It'll do us good to reflect on the things they say, kan? :)
Have a good weekend with the brood, MA :)
Gina,
Yes, our chaotic lifestyle does make us forget to ponder on things which actually matter most, kan?
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