It's 1:54a.m, and I'm finding it hard to sleep.
Even the cool air of the aircond is not helping.
I have a full day today. I have classes from 9:00a.m until 12:00pm, 2:00pm until 3:00p.m and 4:00p.m until 5:00p.m. I desperately need to sleep, unless I don't mind my students seeing me sleeping in class today!
And as always, when I can't sleep, the deafening silence of the night would make me reflect and remember the things I've done or said, and the things others have done and said which have been there at the back of my mind, waiting for a night like this to knock on my head again.
And tonight, I remembered a conversation I had with Hilman last week.
We were on our way home to SD and I was driving along the normal route we would take from the school, and as we were approaching the flyover besides the Bukit Kiara Cemetary, Hilman asked me,
Hilman : Mommy, when is dusk and dawn? What's the difference?
(Can't blame him - I think I got confused between those two, too, when I was his age :))
Me : Dawn is when the sun rises, and dusk is when the sun sets. Solat subuh masa dawn, and solat Maghrib masa dusk.
Hilman : Ohhhh, okay? What is your favourite time of the day, Mommy?
Me : Hmmmm, I don't know. I don't have any favourite times. They're all the same kot? But, I love it when it rains, and then it stops, and the sun comes out again - especially in the late afternoon. It feels so fresh and nice. Why do you ask?
Hilman : Errrrr, nothing.
He was silent for about 10 seconds, and then he said -
Hilman : My favourite time is dusk, Mommy - because that's when you can see all the beautiful clouds in the sky...
I looked at him and I saw him staring at the vermillion sky in front of us - his eyes fixed on the clouds above the skyline.
And just then, it dawned on me just how long it had been since the last time I sat down, and appreciated, and I mean REALLY APPRECIATED the fact that I had woken up at the dawn of a new day, and had been given the chance to live through that day to see the sun sets at dusk, EVERYDAY for every single day of my life until now. And not just appreciating the colours they bring with them. But,even more so, to have been given the chance to share those days with those who matter most in my life.
Thank You, ALLAH, for giving life to me, and to my loved ones...
Thank you, ALLAH, for still giving us our dawns and our dusks...to live another new day, every day...