Happy 27th Anniversary (of knowing each other...), darling

It's 10:40pm, 25th April 2011.

In 1 hour and 20 mins, it'll be 26th April 2011 - marking the 27th Anniversary of the day Ayah and I first knew each other. To those who followed our cherita chenta which I posted 4 years ago when we celebrated our 23rd Anniversary (I think?), you would already know the cerita hindustan and the ups and downs of our courting years which started when we were both 16 years old, sampailah we tied the knot ten years after that, at the age of 26 on 9.9.94 :)

Syukur alhamdulillah - this year both of us are 43 years old, and I still can't believe that it has been 27 years since we first knew each other way back in 1984 when we were in Form Four! And we're still going on strong, insya Allah - with our eldest - Hanna at 16, Hasya at 12, and Hilman at 11 :)

It has been a wonderful 27 years - going through an amazing journey as best friends - more than 16 years of which as husband and wife.

Syukur alhamdulillah, life has been good to us and Allah SWT has blessed us with a wonderful marriage, albeit with glitches, cold wars and challenges here and there, which had sometimes rocked the core of our married souls. However, the same dugaan were the things which have made our love and commitment to each other stronger over the years.

I guess having known each other for more than 10 years before tying the knot had laid a very strong foundation for our marriage to stay steadfast, come what may.

There's no such thing as a perfect marriage, and I don't claim my marriage to Ayah to be perfect. But, I know that, dengan Rahmat dan Berkat dariNya, we are very happy because we always bersyukur with whatever that comes our way, insya Allah - be it good things, great things, not so great things, dugaan maha besar and dugaan maha kecil... Through thick and thin, we have stayed together, syukur alhamdulillah.

I don't know if I would ever live that long and get the chance to celebrate another 27 years of pure marital bliss, but, I know that whatever borrowed times we have, I will treasure Ayah - my husband, my confidante, my best friend until my last breath, insya Allah.

And I make do'a that he will treasure me the same way, insya Allah... Amin.

Happy 27th Anniversary (of first knowing each other!), darling :)

Love you loads... (Words just can't describe how much exactly, but, I know you know just how much I love you...)

26th...

Today marks the 26th year of our cerita chenta :)

Happy 26th Anniversary, Saudara Haizal ;)

Love ya loads!

The Sequel : This is IT...

Finally, the LAST in the series of Cerita Chenta...

The 10 years 4 months and 15 days roller-coaster ride (to borrow Dad of 4+1's description of the saga) from the first time Ayah and I got to know each other when we were 16, was sealed with the Akad Nikah on 9th September 1994, when both of us were 26 years old. But, we were still strapped to the seats of the roller-coaster carriage as there was still one small dip that we had to go through...

We thought we had it all figured out, and we thought we could handle it. We had charted our career paths so that when the time were to come for us to settle down and start a family, we would have already somewhat established ourselves in our respective careers. We had been apart before - many, many times in fact, and we should not have any problems being apart again. Or so we thought.

But, Boy...little did we know that it was not going to be the same once we were married...

After saying goodbye to Ayah at Heathrow's Terminal 4 that day, and after going through the longest 13-hour flight back to KL, and after being so dehydrated (for being in the long-haul flight AND from crying non-stop!), life had to go on and we had to get back into our daily routines.

I had been on a month's leave, preparing for the wedding and also to join Ayah for a short while in the UK, and I found it SOOOOOOOO difficult to get back into the groove. And the fact that I had piles and piles of work waiting for me at the office when I finally reported back for duty was not helping at all. Those files should have taken my mind off Ayah, but, instead, Ayah was taking my mind off the files!!!

I was missing him terribly. I kept on thinking if his makan-minum, if his baju-pakai segala were okay, if his house was in order, etc. (As if before he got married to me he didn't eat, he didn't pakai baju, and he didn't live in a house (??!!), etc! Hehehe...)

But, it was different. I felt that as his wife, I should be making sure that his life was teratur and I should have been there to offer the care, comfort and warmth to her husband as a wife should. Or so, I initially thought. On hindsight, I realized that in fact, it was probably the other way round.

I was the one who needed Ayah to be with me. I was the one who needed him to be there with me when I got back home from work. I needed him there so that we could talk about everything under the sun. I needed him there with me when I went a visiting families and friends, ESPECIALLY when people kept on asking about him 24/7. I needed him to be there when I was not well. I needed him to be there when I was sad. I needed him to be there when I was happy. I just needed him to be there when I closed my eyes at night. I just needed him to be there.

Selfish? Maybe.

Profound love for my husband? I would like to think that as 'Definitely'.

And I would alternate my stay between my parents' and my in-laws'. I knew that my in-laws became my parents, too, the day we got married. I was and am also responsible for their well-being, especially when their son was not there with them. And it wasn't helping at all that the in-laws' place was full of stuffs and pictures reminding me of Ayah. His prints were all over the house. And his (pleasant :)) smell, too... Saying that I was "depressed" during those months would be a gross understatement.

And to say that I was thrilled when Ayah came back for a short-break in February 1995, five months after we got married, would also be a gross understatement, too. I was more thrilled than thrilled x infinity and beyond :)

We needed the time alone, and as we had not really gone for a proper honeymoon, we decided to get away for a few days just the two of us. And Syukur Alhamdulillah for supercool and sporting parents - Mak and Arwah Daddy were so kind when they sponsored our honeymoon in Bali. 5 heavenly days were spent in beautiful Bali that February. It was pure bliss...

But, a few days after coming back from our honeymoon trip, we had to part ways again when Ayah had to fly back to the UK. Sobs...

I remember feeling very heart-sick for quite some time after our goodbyes. True when they say, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah... I was feeling pretty sick, and started losing weight. My health took a toll when I was down with fatigue which was compounded with food-poisoning at the end of March that year and I was totally flattened. Deep inside I knew that it was not because of my physical health, but more so because I was just feeling so down being alone. And I remember crying myself to sleep every night back then...

I was so emotional and so easily hurt. "Ultra-sensitive" was my middle name. And I was ever so grumpy. And it didn't help that I was also feeling quite sickly most of the time.

Not surprising....As I found out at the end of March that I was pregnant...

I was a week late, and I thought that it was due to emotional and physical stress, and of course because I was down with food poisoning and all. And I contribute my throwing-up bouts and fatigues to that. But, I remember telling myself, "What if?"

And just to be on the safe side, off I went to Guardian and bought myself a Home Preggie test kit, during one of my (many) coffee breaks at work. I remember feeling very nervous. I remember reading the instructions on the test kit for maybe 73 times just to make sure that I understood it. I remember doing the test in the office loo. And I remember seeing the 2 blue lines appearing almost immediately. And I remember crying...

No. NOT because I was sad that I was pregnant (of course NOT!!!), but I was sad because Ayah was not there with me to see the 2 blue lines...

I was pretty excited and anxious, of course, and quickly asked my Boss (Encik Ha*an***in) if I could just slip out for an hour. The nearest clinic happened to be an O&G clinic (THE Dr Col*n Le* Women's Clinic in Damansara Utama) which was just within 5 minutes walking distance. And within half an hour, it was confirmed - I was indeed pregnant...

I walked back to the office, but I just couldn't call Ayah from there (this was during the Ice Age when handphones and SMS were still a novelty and skype and the likes were not heard of). Furthermore, it was about 4a.m in the morning in the UK and I didn't want to wake him up! But, I needed to tell someone. I tried calling my Mom but nobody was home, so I called one of my MT friends, Ab** to tell her the good news.

And when I told her that she was the FIRST to know, she gave me a - "Shana, are you crazy??!! You mean you have NOT told Haizal yet?!!, etc." And THAT was enough for me to straight away ask my Boss if I could call Ayah using the office phone.

I remember Ayah answering my call with a groggy voice (what do you expect? It was about 4a.m in the morning in the UK!) and him asking me if everything was okay, etc. I was trying not to sound anxious or excited, and we were just having small talks, when I said to Ayah -

Me : Guess what?

Ayah : Hmmm...what?

Me : You know I was not feeling well, and had food poisoning and was throwing up like nobody's business that day?

Ayah : Yeeessss...??

Me : Apparently it was not the food poisoning... Well, it was not JUST because of food poisoning.

Ayah : What do you mean? Are you okay?

Me : (Pause)...Yeah, I'm okay. In fact, I'm more than okay... I'm pregnant...

Ayah : (A BIG FAT 10 SECONDS PAUSE followed, and then he started laughing!) ARE YOU SURE???!!! I mean, have you seen the doctor? (And he continued laughing!) I'm just so happy! Imagine that! Syukur Alhamdulillah... Are you okay? How do you feel?! (And another 1001 questions and "Are you okays" from him after that:))

Me : (Also laughing from my end)...Yes, I have seen the doctor, and I did a home preggie test before that, etc.

And out of the blue, I said to Ayah -

Me : I want to quit my job. I want to be with you...

And I started crying... (Cememeh kan??!!!)

And what Ayah said after that made me cry even more -

"YES, I want you to be here with me as soon as you can. I will ask Mak to arrange with Chr**t*ne (Mak's travel agent) to get your flight tickets here as soon as possible. In the meantime, please take good care of yourself...and our baby, okay...?"

There was no pause, no doubts, no hesitation from Ayah.

Kalau ikutkan hati, I would have just dropped everything and taken the next flight out to Hull that day. But, of course that would not be fair to anyone. There were some loose ends to tie at work, and of course, I had to think of my Abah and Mommy, too. I should at least prepare them for yet another round of me leaving home and going back to the UK...

Remember when I said how sad I felt going to the Kursus Kahwin alone? And also going about preparing for the Wedding alone? Well, try going to an ante-natal check-up alone... Now, THAT was something else. It saddened me everytime I saw fellow Moms-to-be at the clinic with their hubbies, and there I was , with yet another story of my life - ALONE... But, Thank God, there were only two ante-natal check-ups that I had to go through before flying off to the UK.

After tendering in my one month notice of resignation, and after tying all the loose ends at work, and after paying all the dues within my social circles, at the end of May 1995 - 8 months after getting married, I bade farewell to my family and friends in Malaysia, and left for the UK to be with Ayah, to start OUR OWN little family...

We were finally REALLY together....

And the rest, as they say - is history...

- THE END -


* I would like to take this opportunity to say Thank You from the bottom of my heart to all who had followed Cerita Chenta from Day 1 until today. What started out as a posting to wish Ayah "A Happy 24th Anniversary of Knowing-each-other" on 26th April 2008, turned out to be a Prologue of a Series of Sequels of the roller-coaster rides Ayah and I had to go through before we finally tied the knot in 1994.

It had been a very nostalgic and heart-warming experience for me and Ayah, and writing the Cerita Chenta has made us feel even more closer to each other. And hey, the naturally romantic Ayah has become even more romantic now... (Buleh??!)

I hope that all our friends whom Ayah and I had made during the Cerita Chenta Series have enjoyed reading the stories, as much as I had enjoyed writing and sharing them here.

I truly treasure this very special friendship, and so does Ayah :)

I hope all of us will not stop reminiscing the yesteryears, so as to embark upon an even more meaningful future with our loved ones.

Just do it...

Reminisce.

God Bless. Wassalam.

Some pics...

As requested by some of my dear readers :)

THE Sequel : 9994

Okay. Where was I?

Yeah, right -

And the day for the engagement ceremony finally came. With 7 dulangs from Ayah's side, and 9 from my side, surrounded by families and friends, I officially became Ayah's fiancee when his Mom slipped the ring onto my ring finger on that morning of 19th December 1993...

And 3 days after that, Ayah had to fly back to the UK, leaving me yet again, in KL...


The story of my life, huh?

Anyway, realizing that we had about 9 months before the proposed wedding date, my Mommy and I got cracking with the preparations. There were so many things to do, and even though nine months seemed like ample time, it felt like everything was moving in a fast forward mode!

There was the hantaran (which we decided to do ourselves - my Mommy, my Aunty Nab and myself); there was the Mak Andam package; the caterers; the menus; the canopies; the kompang people; the baju pengantin; the shoes; the wedding cake; the flowers; the invitation cards; the bunga telur, the bunga pahar, the bilik pengantin, etc. And being the bride, my side also had to prepare for two Majlis - the Nikah and also the Reception. Due to the fact that most of my uncles and aunties were/are scattered all over Perak and Penang, and most of them could only travel down to KL on a weekend, we decided to hold the Reception and bersanding on a weekend. But, the date which Ayah and I had chosen for our nikah fell on a Friday. So, the solution was to have two kenduris. One on the night of the Nikah, and another one the next day. Memang fenin...

And every single plan and changes to the plans would have to be conveyed to my (then future) MIL. And of course, not only did I have to tend to my side's Majlis, I also had to go for the weekly meetings with my MIL and my SIL who were the Wedding Planners on Ayah's side. And I have to say, both of them were REALLY professional! And Ayah, would call every 3-5 days to get updates on everything... Memang senang hidup member...

He was not even there for the baju pengantin fitting session! And my SIL's then boyfriend (who more or less had the same built as Ayah) had to stand in and try the baju pengantin on behalf of Ayah! Can you all believe that? And he even stood in for Ayah for the food-tasting sessions! What the....?! As if?!

And of course - I had to deal with JAWI to book the Tok Kadhi, and segala mak nenek to do with getting witnesess, etc. AND...of course - the Kursus Kahwin...

God...the Kursus Kahwin! I think attending the Kursus Kahwin must have been the MOST difficult and depressing time for me running to the wedding. I was so stressed out with the preparations, etc., and it didn't help that I had to attend it A-L-O-N-E... Sakit jiwer tengok the others attending the course with their partners. And there I was, A-L-0-N-E...

Anyway, by that time I was already practicing at a legal firm in Damansara Utama, which was just 20 minutes away from my future in-laws' place in Section 17, and I would drop by at their house at every chance I got to synchronize things, and of course, getting to know them better. I became quite close to Ayah's Arwah Wan in the months leading to the wedding. I would sit with her in front of the TV in front of her room, and we would have lunch together - most of the times just the two of us, as my MIL would be at her office...

And in the midst of all the chaos leading to the wedding day, Arwah Wan passed away peacefully one evening at the age of 81, a couple of months short of the wedding date. Everybody was devastated. We mourned for her, and it felt like the semangat of the family also died with her. My MIL was very much affected by Arwah Wan's death of course, but, thinking that Arwah Wan would want the wedding to go ahead, my MIL braced herself and continued with the preparations, almost all the time with tears in her eyes. Ayah would have been my MIL's first child to get married, and she had REALLY wanted Arwah Wan to be there on that special day. But, Allah SWT lebih menyayangi Arwah Wan... (Al-Fatihah)

The chaotic mood turned very sombre in the first few weeks after Arwah Wan left us. However, as most of the things were already settled and finalized at that stage, everybody took everything slowly, and as the wedding loomed nearer, loose ends were tied, and we had meetings after meetings to make sure everything was on schedule and synchronized and also to make sure that everybody was aware of his / her responsibilities and duties on THE day.

It all boiled down to a waiting game. Waiting for the wedding date. And waiting for the groom to fly back to Malaysia...

Ayah finally came back 5 (or was it 6?!) days before the wedding, and within that 5 days he managed to persuade JAWI not to get him to go for the Kursus Kahwin Ekspress, and he got away with only a 10-minute interview with the JAWI people before they signed and approved his application to get married! And within that 5 days, too, we managed to get the wedding ring, and the sepersalinan jewelries (according to my family's traditions). And within that 5 days, too, Ayah managed to go for his baju pengantin fitting sessions himself, and a special mandi lulur for the groom, while I was having my own mandi lulur (Errrr....NOT together. NOT in the same tub or bathroom, okay? Hahaha!) And within that 5 days we managed to settle and submit whatever documents that needed to be filed and submitted to JAWI and JAIS (as Ayah was regarded as a Selangor resident). Memang senang hidup member....

Everything on schedule, everything finalized, and everything in order, on the night of 9th September 1994, dengan sekali lafaz, I became Ayah's legally wedded wife after 10 years, 4 months and 15 days of knowing each other...

9994 - Nombor keramat. Exactly 10 years, 4 months and 15 days after that fateful day on 26th April 1984, when I first got Ayah's letter through a mistaken identity...

Such is our jodoh. And syukur alhamdulillah our jodoh was really kuat despite the shaky and rocky (not-on-good-footing) start...

Everything was perfect. We were finally married. We were finally together! Yipppeee!!!

Or were we really?

It was the story of my life yet again. Sigh...

A reception on Ayah's side was held on 14th September, 1994 at PJ H****n, and this was followed by all the bertandang to the sanak-saudaras' houses we could fit in in 1week. And 10 days after the nikah, I followed Ayah back to the UK.

He was by then an SHO at Hull Royal Infirmary. But, we were only together in the UK for 10 days. Both of us, after a heart-to-heart talk a few months preceding the wedding, had agreed that I should establish my career as a lawyer in Malaysia, while Ayah was to work and sit for his MRCP exams in the UK...

So, 3 weeks after becoming Mrs. Ayah, I boarded the BA KL-bound flight, leaving my dearest hubby alone in the UK. And I cried my heart out throughout the whole 13 hours flight back to KL...

To be continued? Or The End?

The Sequel (KL : Aug - Dec 1993)

Okay. Two intervals. Time to get this sequel to Cerita Chenta over and done with, huh? ;)

About a week after his Swensen's proposal, Ayah and I had to part ways. He had to go back to the UK to start his housemanship at the QE in Gateshead, while I had to continue with my chambering in Kampong Attap. By that time, Ayah had already discussed with his parents as to the next step which we had to take to ikut adat, i.e. merisik.

I can't remember clearly what actually transpired. The only thing I remember was that my (then "future") MIL had called my Mommy to discuss on the most suitable date for Ayah's family to pay a visit and bawak cincin tanda. And I remember my Mommy telling me to be prepared to meet Ayah's parents, uncles and aunties on one of the Saturdays in September (or was it October?!) 1993.

And when that Saturday finally came, I was numbed...I was petrified! It was scary enough meeting the parents at his place, now the whole Kac**r clan of his Pak Long, Mak Long, Pak Ngah, Mak Ngah, and not forgetting his parents, etc., were coming to meet my Abah and Mommy for the first time, and of course to see me for themselves, and Ayah was not be around! It felt like I was put under a microscope that day!

The whole time Ayah's rombongan was downstairs with my Abah and Mommy, I was upstairs in my room. I knew the whole purpose of merisik was for the bakal mertua (and segala pakcik makcik) to see the bakal menantu for themselves, but, I just couldn't bring myself to go down to see them. Macam nak pitam!! Finally, my Aunty Wah came up and knocked on my door and asked me to go down with her.

God...When I was walking down the stairs, I could feel all eyes were looking at me. Finally, I got to meet the Kac**r clan whom Ayah had talked so much about! I salamed everybody as I was introduced to each one of them, (and I guessed they were curious, too, to know who I was, how I looked like, whether I was worthy of Ayah, etc!) Ayah's Mak Long then beckoned me to come to her, and then asked my Abah and Mommy if she could sarung the cincin merisik on my finger. And just as she was slipping it onto my finger, she said, "Cincin ni tandonyo niat 'tok masok 'minang lopeih ni, den haghap di-boietau pado somoghang yang Haizal dah "booked" Shana ni nak dijaiekan isteghi..." (in her thick Nogoghi dialect!) Alamak...I dah kena "booked", you all...Hahaha!

I remember going straight into the kitchen after that with Aunty Wah to help serve the food and tea for Ayah's uncles and aunties, trying VERY hard not to let the plates clang against each other, or slip from my hands. It was so crucial for me to create a good impression on the Kac**r clan! The two parties then agreed on a date for the engagement that December.

It felt like forever before Ayah's rombongan merisik finally went back that evening! Phew...What a relief! And right on cue, Ayah called after they left to find out how it went. I guessed he was anxious, too, of the outcome of course. Mana la tau, kot-kot my Abah "reject" ke pulak last minute...Hahaha!

And then, the preparation for the December engagement ceremony began. Ayah was lucky to have his sister Ly** who was in Nottingham then to help him get all the hantaran from there (except for the kain and tudung). I think they actually spent 3 weekends to shop for the stuff in London! And I was helping my Mommy to get and prepare everything in KL. It was pretty difficult, in the sense that his Mom insisted that the colour of the material I was getting for Ayah for his hantaran Baju Melayu MUST be the exact same colour as the material she had got as hantaran kain for my Baju Kurung, etc. But, in a way, it was a blessing in disguise as I had to discuss things with her in Ayah's absence, and the pre-engagement period became the time when I got to know my MIL, and for her to get to know me better (without Ayah lurking around...Hehehe!) But, of course I couldn't help but feel VERY sad at times, going about preparing stuff, etc., for the engagement on my own, when I see other couples doing it together. And I was really missing him...

So, it would be an understatement when I say that I was SO happy when Ayah finally came back to Malaysia a week before the engagement ceremony. The most important item for the engagement had yet to be acquired - THE RING. At least Ayah was with me when we chose the ring, and that meant a lot to me.

But, it wasn't as easy as it seemed. I lost count of how many PKs, HJs, WCs, Ss shops we went to within that one week, just to find the ring that both of us agreed on. And his Mom would always be there with us, NOT to dictate which ring we should get, but as our expert haggler. She's a pro when it comes to haggling for jewelries. I never knew that one could actually go down as low as 50-80% discount from the original exhibited price of diamond rings when one haggles!! But, leaving it to the expert, Ayah and I just let Mak do all the talking whenever we found the rings which we liked. And we finally found the perfect ring at PK @ The Mall just a couple of days before the ceremony. The 5 digit numbered price was successfully haggled by Mak to become a 4 digit numbered price at the end of the day. Phew...lega! THAT shows how "terror" my MIL is when it comes to haggling maaa!Hehehe!

And the day for the engagement ceremony finally came. With 7 dulangs from Ayah's side, and 9 from my side, surrounded by families and friends, I officially became Ayah's fiancee when his Mom slipped the ring onto my ring finger on that morning of 19th December 1993...

And 3 days after that, Ayah had to fly back to the UK, leaving me yet again, in KL...

:(

To be continued...

The Sequel (KL : 1992 - 1993)

My apologies for the week hiatus. Normal excuses - work and play :). Just came back on Thursday from a 3-day break in Kuantan, where we had the sun and the sea, and yours truly had a heavenly pampering at the Sam**ra Spa at the Swi** Gar**n Resort and Spa. And while I was having their 1 hour 45 minutes Signature massage on Wednesday evening, Hanna and Hasya went for their hibiscus hair treatment.

Ayah was very generous throughout our Kuantan stay, but, I still can't figure out how the girls managed to pujuk him to let them have the hair treatment at the Spa! It wasn't cheap, but I guessed once in a while of pampering his girls with some beauty regime was okay for Ayah. THANK YOU, AYAH!!! (But, to Hanna and Hasya, if you all are reading this - tak boleh buat selalu, okay?) If not, Ayah will be fast losing his hair!

Anyway, back to the sequel ;) -

Being back in KL at the end of 1992, and knowing that it was for good and not just a 1 or 2 months break, was something else. I was so used to having Ayah either with me or just a phone-call or train ride away, and realizing that he was thousands of miles away really got some getting used to. There was no chance of him making his usual surprise visits whatsoever... I was in no mood to do anything, and was in fact more into not doing anything at all in the first month I was home.

I was getting Ayah's numbered letters and postcards regularly and he would also make his phone-calls every weekend, and my Abah and Mommy were resigned to the fact that their youngest daughter was totally smitten with this boy who was in his final year of Med School in Newcastle. My Abah was the one who would be overly excited whenever he answered Ayah's phone-calls and would ask me to hurry up and take the phone and speak to Ayah (I think my Abah takut Ayah had to pay a lot for the calls - nanti tak cukup duit nak masuk meminang kot? HAHAHAHA!) As for my Mommy, she had always been in the know about Ayah as I would share with her bits and pieces about us for quite a while then.

Anyway, Ayah had already made a few courtesy calls on his bakal mertua the previous years when both of us came back to Malaysia for our Summer breaks. So, my Abah and Mommy more or less knew who and how he was. By then, I already knew that Ayah had won the approvals of both my parents. He didn't have to try very hard. What was there not to like? (I'm being subjectively biased here. Hahahaha!). So, that was a relief - one less worry for me!

After a month of getting on my Mommy's nerves at home, I started applying for my chambering slot at a few legal firms around KL. I went for several interviews, and I finally decided to chamber under Tuan Haji (now Datuk) Mu***ib Ra**k at his firm in Kampung Attap. My nine months period of chambering was indeed a very interesting and educating experience. One thing for sure, it made it so much easier for me to decide that legal practice would NOT be a long-term option for me! But, me being me, I was doing it just to get it over and done with. I did my Bar, and chambering was the next logical thing to do.

But, I have to say, I learned the A-Z and every single nitty gritty stuff about conveyancing in just under 3 months when I was tasked to re-open all the files on some abandoned housing project somewhere in Melaka. And for that, I thank my Master for throwing me into the deep end right from Day 1. I learned the hard way, but what I learned then have stayed with me until today - even after 13 years of quitting practice. More importantly, the work took my mind off Ayah somewhat.

While I was busy with being the tea-lady/office girl/receptionist/research assistant/ filing clerk/legal clerk, etc. in Kampung Attap, Ayah was busy with his Final year at Med School. And I was really missing him. If I wasn't at home during weekends, I would lepak at Ibu's bujang pad which she shared with 2 others of our MT friends, Ab*d and On**r in Taman Tun. By that time, Ibu was already busy planning for her engagement and wedding to her Ayah, while On**r and Sh**y (a.k.a Mr. Engineer) were embarking on their early courting stage. There were also J* and Iz**m. I was happy for them of course, but, seeing all the couples around me, really made me miss Ayah even more :(

However, having two other friends who were in the same boat made it easier to go through the days. Re*a was also pining for T**s, who was still in London, and Ab*d was also longing for Ra*f who was doing his CA in Southampton. The three of us kept each other's spirits up, and we became each other's tempat mencurah perasaan...

Syukur alhamdulillah, Ayah finally graduated in July 1993, and obtained his MBBS. His whole family went for his graduation, and as much as I wanted to be there with him, it was quite impossible. I was ultra-busy with my chambering tasks, and of course - I was never formally introduced to his parents. In fact, his parents were only officially informed of my existence and of our relationship on the day Ayah graduated! They of course knew or suspected that Ayah was seeing me for quite some time then, and they were just waiting to hear it from the horse's mouth itself!

Ayah told me (and this was later confirmed by my MIL) that right after his graduation ceremony, THAT afternoon itself, he got his parents to sit down at the hotel they were staying at, and started telling them about me, and that he wanted to get married the next year, i.e. one year after he started working. And Ayah was quite surprised because both his parents and his sister just laughed when he told them of his intentions. Apparently they had been waiting for the announcement/confession for quite some time then and they were just speculating amongst themselves that Ayah would do so immediately after his graduation, and they were right! My SIL even placed a bet on this! Hahaha!

Ayah was to start his housemanship in August, i.e. barely a month after graduating, but he came back to Malaysia for a few weeks to see me. Now that his parents had been informed of his intentions, he needed to proceed to the next thing. And I remember THAT day when he took me out for tea. My Abah was quite particular about us going out at night, you see, so our dates were either for lunch or tea - when the sun was still out. Hehehe!

We were having our desserts at Swensens that afternoon, when suddenly he just looked at me, and started to take a few deep breaths. I knew he was trying to say something, but he was finding it very difficult to say it. Then he started laughing, and I started laughing! And then he said it, in between his laughs -

"Will you marry me?"

I know, I know...NOT the most romantic way to pop the question. I guess we were so used to each other, and we took it for granted that we would get married, and there was never any question about it. It was understood. So, it was somewhat awkward for Ayah to have to ask me whether I would marry him! But, Ayah being Ayah, he had to do everything the proper way, according to the normal "steps" :)

And in between my laughs, I said to him - "HAHAHAHAHA! YES!!!"

And that was it! All formalities over and done with within 10 seconds. Hehehehe!

The next step was of course - MEETING THE FUTURE IN-LAWS...

Right after "proposing", Ayah told me that he wanted to bring me to see his parents. (Nasib baiklah not there and then on the same day!).

I remember Ayah telling me that he was bringing me home to meet them, and that he would pick me up from my house at 11:30a.m that Saturday. I couldn't sleep the whole night before, and was trying to decide what baju to wear, what shoes would go well with which baju, should I bring a handbag, or not, or whether I should put on any make up or not, etc. I think I even practised my smile in front of the mirror! God...I was so nervous. It was even worse than sitting for my Bar Finals! Bila fikirkan balik...kelakar lah pulak!

And I remember getting ready very early that Saturday morning. In fact, by 10:00a.m I was already waiting anxiously for Ayah to pick me up! However, Ayah called to say that he would only be at my house around 12:30p.m, as both his parents were stuck at a meeting, and would only be home around 1:15p.m. Aaaarrrggggghhh!! Another waiting game began...By that time, I was having cold sweats and palpitations like nobody's business!

Ayah finally came at 12:30p.m, and asked my Abah and Mommy's permission to bring me to see his parents. And after getting the green light, we left the house and headed straight to PJ. Throughout the 45 minutes journey, I kept on asking Ayah, "What if your Mom doesn't like me?", "What if that...", "What if this...", etc., and Ayah kept on telling me, "Don't worry! My parents will like you. Just be yourself! My Mom is VERY nice - all my friends like her!"

And I said to Ayah, "Yeah...but, I'm not JUST one of your friends! I'm the girl who's marrying her son!"

I was so seram sejuk when we reached his house. We went in, and I was told that his mom was in the kitchen preparing lunch. I was like - "Should I go to the kitchen? Or should I just wait in the lounge?" And I was just about to go to the back of the house when his mom came out to the front. "This is it...There's no turning back", I said to myself.

I straight away went to salam her, and she invited me to go up to the Dining Hall with her, with Ayah trailing behind. (FYI, I specifically told Ayah when we were in the car that under NO circumstances was he to leave me alone with his parents, not even for ONE second - and he was really keeping to his words then! Hehehe!)

I have to admit that my first impression of Ayah's mom was that she was a VERY serious lady that rarely smiled (which was a total contrast of how she REALLY is, now that I've been her daughter-in-law for nearly 14 years!! Hehehe!) She started asking me about my family, my parents, myself, etc. over lunch - the standard future MIL Spanish Inquisitions. Years later when we talked about that first meeting, my MIL told me that she was quite nervous, too, at the prospect of meeting her first future daughter-in-law that day! Hahaha!

Ayah's father (Arwah Daddy) only came back and joined us later that afternoon. Arwah Daddy was the one who was cool about the whole thing and even threw in a couple of jokes, which helped me feel more at ease. And I was also introduced to Ayah's grandmother (Arwah Wan) who seemed to take me to her liking straight away!

The whole thing went well, but, later, on our way back to my house, I kept on asking Ayah to tell me the truth if he thought his Mom didn't like me, and if I have flunked big time with his parents. I started reflecting the afternoon and began my "I should have done this and that", "I shouldn't have done that and this" etc., much to Ayah's amusement! And he kept on reassuring me that both his Mak and Daddy approved of me. He even threw in a bonus, saying that even his Wan liked me.

Wow, you all can just imagine - after more than 9 years of knowing each other, I finally got to meet his parents (and Wan), and the meeting went well. In fact, it went VERY well indeed... :)

It felt REALLY good to finally have been officially/formally introduced to the future in-laws after all those years. And it felt even better to know that our relationship was finally officially acknowledged and approved by BOTH sets of parents after ALL those years...

And there was so much more to look forward to from that day onwards.

To be continued...

The Sequel (London : 1991-1992)

Sorry, folks! I have to admit that I have not been diligent in updating my Cerita Chenta sequels. In fact, it is not too much to say that my Cerita Chenta had been left in a state of neglect for nearly a week, and if I were to wait for another few days before continuing with it, I'm afraid the momentum and the flow (from me, as well as for the readers) would be lost! So, I think it's high time for me to post a new entry, huh?!

So, anyway - the few months running to my final exams and also graduation, Ayah and I had a heart to heart talk on what exactly I wanted to do after graduating. At that point, Ayah still had 2 more years before he was to graduate, and we had agreed that he should work for at least 1 year before we were to settle down. So, all in all we were looking at at least another THREE years before we could finally tie the knot!

It was also agreed that after his graduation in 1993, if he were to work, he would be working and doing his housemanship in the UK, as that would be the best training ground for him.

So, we laid down all the possibilities of A to Z, and the bottom line was - I didn't think I could stand being so far away from him for so long!

I had a couple of options.

I could either just go back and serve Petronas. This would have meant that I would have to go back to Malaysia that Summer of 1991, do whatever I needed to do, and I would have had to wait for 3 YEARS before we could get married. And Ayah would be in the UK ALL THOSE THREE YEARS!(Errrr...I don't think I would consider THAT as an option?!!! Nak sakit jiwer ke aper???!!!)

OR another option was, I could apply for a scholarship extension to continue with my studies and pursue my Degree of an Utter Barrister in London, after which I would have to go back to Malaysia, but, we would only be apart for 2 years.

Hmmmmm....THREE years apart vs TWO years apart? NOT a difficult choice to make at all.

I have to admit, if it was not because of Ayah, I would not have even thought of doing my Bar Finals in London! I was never (and am NOT) an ambitious person, and sitting for my Bar Exams was never in my list of things-to-do in life.

But, as it was the ONLY option I had to buy time to spend at least another year in the UK, I went on to apply to do my Bar Finals at Ho*born College/Linco**'s I**, and syukur alhamdulillah I received an offer! And in London I stayed for a year, pursuing my Degree of an Utter Barrister (and Ayah was still in Newcastle upon Tyne the whole time).

In a way, I was just an accidental Bar student - hoping to gain more time in the UK only so that Ayah and I would not be too far apart too long. But, of course, I just couldn't ignore my responsibilities of being a Bar student, could I? I was accepted in, so, might as well JUST DO IT, right?

My one year in London was spent in Stroud Green in North London where I shared an apartment with S*l and Tu*ip. Both graduated from Leeds, and both were also admitted to Linco**'s I** and Ho*born College.

Now, applying and getting a place in Linco**'s I** was one thing. Going through the Professional Bar Course and Exams was another thing. It was SHEER HELL, I tell you! And I know there are a few of my readers here who had gone through the same hell as I did. NEVER AGAIN!!! Even if somebody were to pay me REALLY BIG MONEY to go through the Bar Course and Exams, I would happily decline. Thank you, but, NO thank you, sir!

I didn't mind the 24 Dinners that we had to go through (failing which, we would NOT be called to the Bar EVEN if we were to get 1st Class results for the Bar Finals Exams!). The Dinners were fun actually. All of us going in black and white attires, donning the robes, sitting in the glorious Grand Hall of Linco**'s I**, enjoying our bland vegetarian meals and orange juice, while the rest were having succulent roast beef and gravy, and 3-4 types of alcoholic drinks, one after another...(What my house mates and I would normally do was to makan kenyang-kenyang kat rumah dulu, before going to the Inn's dinner!)

Those 24 Dinners were part of the formal requirements of the Honourable Society. Every now and then we were allowed to bring guests along, and of course, Ayah became my regular "tag-along" for all my Guests Night Dinners. That was just an excuse to get Ayah to make a trip down to London from Newcastle every month actually. NOT that he minded! Hehehehe!

It was the Bar Final Course itself which I tak boleh tahan...Those months of going to classes and working on the endless assignments and studying for the exams were arguably the most stressful time of my life. With, and like all professional exams, it was just NOT the same as the normal and ordinary exams you would do at Uni or college. It was in a class of its own, and as I had got myself into it (as an accidental student some more!!), I sweat through it all and gave my best.

Those who had gone through the Bar Finals Exams as I had, would agree with me when I said that the Exams were one of the TOUGHEST exams on the face of the earth...

I remember studying for the subjects with tears falling down onto my notes. I still have those notes with me, with blotches on the pages as proof of my free-flowing tears smearing the pages! It was so damn hard, but, I knew I just had to do it whether I liked it or not. I remember not eating for days studying for the Bar Finals. I remember not going out for weeks preparing for the Bar Finals.

And I remember asking Ayah if he could just come down to London to be with me - untuk bagi semangat throughout the exam period. But, Ayah did the right thing, and said, "NO". He told me, "YOU have to do this YOURSELF, and I don't want to be there as I might distract you and be in your way. BUT, you can call me ANY time of the day and night, and I will be there for you..."

And throughout that ONE week of INTENSIVE exams, I lost count of how many times I called Ayah, day and night - crying like crazy every time, telling him that I was giving up, and that I just could not go on. And every single time Ayah would steer me back and gave his words of encouragement to just hang in there...

EVERY TIME I called him, I was a nervous wreck. And EVERY TIME, he would be saying the same things to boost my morale up. In fact, it would have been easier for him if he were to make a recording of his words of encouragement and just play it on for me to listen to whenever I called! I knew what he was going to say anyway, but, I just needed to hear his voice over the phone...

I tell you, it was a miracle that I did not go mad going through the Bar Finals Exams.

I sat for the Trinity Paper, and passed all subjects except for my General Paper II (which was basically Procedures on Land Law and Equity - not surprising as they happened to be my pet-hate subjects throughout Uni!!). I bersyukur to Allah swt as that would mean that I only had to resit for that ONE Paper. The system was such that IF you were to fail TWO papers, you would have to resit ALL SIX Papers!!! Mati hidup balik I takkan resit if that were to happen to me!

So, that Summer, Ayah offered his place in Newcastle for me to prepare for the Michaelmas Exams while he went back to Malaysia for his Summer Break. In a way, I was "house-sitting" for him. And when Ayah came back from the holidays, I remember him staying up with me going through the subject, or just accompanying me burning the midnight oil...And syukur alhamdulillah, I passed my GP II in that Michaelmas Exams, and that November 1992, I was called to the English Bar and admitted as a Member of the Honourable Society of Linco**'s I** finally...

And I have to say - if it was not for Ayah's words of encouragement and support, ESPECIALLY throughout the exam period, I would not have got through the Exams. And I know that Ayah and his semangat and encouragement had a lot to do with it...and I can't thank him enough...

With all the ceremonies over, I was left with no choice. Petronas had called me back (NOT that they had a job waiting for me back home in Malaysia anyway!), and I had run out of excuses and reasons to stay on...

And in December 1992, I remember taking the MAS flight from London Heathrow to Kuala Lumpur with Re*a - my MT friend who was also with me in Norwich, and who also spent an extra 1 year (but in Warwick, doing her Masters) ALSO to buy time to be in the UK as her boyfriend T**S (who is now her hubby) also had a couple of years still in the UK.

I remember Ayah and T**S sending us off at Heathrow, and I remember how both Reha and I menangis tak ingat dunia at the airport, and continued with the crying marathon all throughout the 13 hours journey to KL! We were crying, and every now and then we were laughing our hearts out because it was actually a pretty damn funny sight looking at each other's monyok face throughout the flight!

But, it sure wasn't funny when reality sank in.

Back in KL, I suddenly found myself totally lost without Ayah by my side. And the fact that Ayah was going to spend at least another two years in the UK before we would tie the knot, did not help at all...

Yes, of course I was happy that I was back in Malaysia with my Mommy and Abah and the rest of the family. But, somewhere along the line, I had realized that Ayah had also become a part of my family - a part of me. He was my semangat...and I didn't know if I could survive being without him in Malaysia for 2 years...

To be continued...

The Sequel (Norwich : 1988 - 1991)

I remember the summer before we went to Uni - there were 16 of us Oxbridge students who didn't go back to Malaysia. 8 girls and 8 guys (including 3 of my Cardiff guys), and all of us stayed at Malaysia Hall throughout the long hot summer holidays. With Ayah back in Malaysia for the break, it turned out to be a very long summer for me indeed - and a lonely one at that.

All 16 of us decided that rather than not doing anything, lazing around waiting for our A Level results to come out, we'd better earn some dosh, and all of us ended up working. Some of us ended up slaving away at Mc*, KF* (Oxford Street) or Sat*Ria (Bayswater). Some ended up working at Bal*y and Se*fri*ges. And some, like me who preferred easy, straight forward jobs, ended up working at Malaysia Hall itself. I became a part-time cleaner there, while my room-mate R*e helped out in the kitchen/dining hall/cafeteria. The pay was good, considering that we didn't have to pay rent or for our meals throughout our stay there! More importantly, it helped to keep my mind off Ayah somewhat.

I still kept my house in Western Avenue, Llandaff then (but, paying only half the rent throughout summer) as all my stuff were still there in the house. Furthermore, my juniors in Cardiff, O*a and Il*a who were going to Upper Sixth Form that year were planning to continue renting the place when they came back from their Summer break that September. And even though most of my stuff in Cardiff were all packed and sealed, I was still not sure of which Uni I would end up at in September as I had a few offers and it all depended on my A Level results.

I remember being very busy in the mornings in London, but very free in the afternoons and the evenings - which led me to feeling very blue most of the time, desperately missing Ayah. It became so bad that when I heard that Ros*an was going back to Cardiff for a few days, I even kirim through him to bring back the small Teddy Bear which Ayah had given me early in the year. I gave him my house keys, and three days later, being a sport he was, he came back to Malaysia Hall with the Teddy Bear! Now when I think about this, rasa kelakar la pulak...Si Ros*an tu pun, layan ajer I?!!

Ros*an was indeed like a big brother to me, and I remember every night he would intercom me from the second floor (all the guys were staying on the second floor, while the girls were on the third floor), and we would melayan each other. He was also missing K**or, his then girlfriend, and I was missing Ayah! Imagine two angaus on the phone/intercom every night talking about their bf/gf to each other! But, I guessed, in a way, it helped ease the pang somewhat. Even though I would get Ayah's numbered letters from Malaysia every now and then, it was just pure torture. Yes - the Summer of 1988 felt like it was the longest summer ever indeed!

Our A Level results finally came out and I was so happy as I got to go to the Uni I had hoped to go to in Norwich, and Ayah got to go to his Uni of choice in Newcastle upon Tyne.

I remember waiting desperately for him to come back to the UK that September after the long break. Ayah had in fact called a few times and had informed me of his flight details. He was flying Air Canada and I had blocked the date he was supposed to be arriving in London in my diary. Berdebar-debar macam first time nak jumpa pulak! I remember having difficulty sleeping the night before and I was so looking forward to seeing Ayah again.

But, I also remember feeling SO upset that morning when the receptionist at Malaysia Hall - K.Maz*i, conveyed me a message. It was from Ayah. Apparently, Ayah's flight had to be diverted to Bombay (then) due to some technical problems two hours into the flight! A few hours stop-over turned into a day stop-over...which in the end turned into a 5 days stop-over!!! Penantian itu, satu penyiksaan they say....What an understatement!

All our major life decisions by then would involve inputs from the other, and I was so looking forward to seeing Ayah - not just because I was missing him (of course!), but also because I had also started to don the tudung on the day he was supposed to arrive back in London!

We had discussed it before but never seriously, and Ayah had left it for me to decide whether I was ready to take the big step. He never indicated that he wanted me to wear the tudung. Neither did he indicate that he was against it. I guess he didn't want his opinion to influence me in such a personal matter. (However, I had the feeling that he was not really up to the idea then). So, you all can just imagine how anxious I was waiting for him then! I had not, till that point, informed him of my decision to go ahead with it, and it was meant to be a surprise...

And I had to wait for SIX days before I could surprise him eventually when he arrived at Malaysia Hall - looking all haggard and exhausted! Being stranded for five days in Bombay was no joke...He must have lost 3 kilos over the five days he was in India!

And I can still remember seeing him (despite being so jet-lagged and bushed) giving me a very pleasant, approving smile, when he first saw me in my tudung... The way he looked at me was...simply endearing...and for that I am forever thankful to him for making it easier for me to continue with my niat to don the tudung...IT REALLY MEANT A LOT TO ME...



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Our Uni years were somewhat not as eventful as the early years of our relationship. I guessed our hearts were very much settled, and we were continuously getting to know each other better. Those were the times when our true colours came out, and in a way those were the times when we were tested - whether, despite knowing that both of us had our own Jekylls and Hydes, we would still remain as an item. And syukur alhamdulillah, we learned to accept each other, faults and all, during our Uni years.

Our relationship continued to develop over the three years. Most of the times, Ayah would be the one visiting me in Norwich as accommodation was easier for him. I was staying at the Uni's Halls of Residence throughout the three years - sharing with both girls and guys, and every year there would be at least one Malaysian guy staying on the same floor as me! So, there was always someone's room he could bunk in at when he came for a visit. And again, he became a regular in Norwich...

One thing that I would always remember about his visits to Norwich would be this one time when I was pretty sick during one winter. I was down with a very bad flu, with a very bad lung infection and was flat for nearly a week, and I could not even walk to the public phone which was just 15 feet away from my room to call him! Even if I could, I would not have been able to talk to him as I had lost my voice totally! I had to miss a lot of my classes and I just could not bring myself to keep anything down. Whatever I ate just refused to be digested and would find its way down the sink every time!

Re*a (one of my MT friends who also ended up in Norwich with me) had pestered me to inform Ayah of my condition as she was getting pretty worried about me. But, I told her not to tell Ayah, as I did not want to worry him. It was after all, just a flu. However, after 3 unsuccessful days of trying to get me to eat something, Re*a decided to take matters into her hands and she called Ayah one evening behind my back. And Ayah who had not heard from me for nearly a week then, just dropped everything and took the first train out from Newcastle the next morning, and by lunch time he was standing there right in front of my room!

I was so touched, and what with feeling miserable and under the weather for quite some time then, I just broke down and cried - which was HELL, as I had such a sore throat and my cough was as good as killing me while I was sobbing away!

And Ayah stayed on for nearly a week looking after me - his worst patient ever! He dragged me to see the doctor (Yup - all those while I was sick, I refused to go to the Medical Centre!) He cooked for me. He washed my clothes. He did my grocery shopping. He even got the notes for all the classes that I missed out from my course-mates! So much so, that when I eventually got better, I berlakon sakit coz' tak nak dia balik Newcastle....Hahahaha!

So, THAT was one of the things I remember about our Uni days...

Both of us did pretty well in our studies at Uni. And by the third year, when both of us were 23 years old, we had already decided that whatever it was, God willing, we would ONLY tie the knot at the age of 26 - not later, not earlier. We had even decided on the wedding date! But, the funny thing was - Ayah had never ever proposed to me... and I guessed it would be an insult to me if he WERE to propose... It was understood.

And as I was preparing for my Final Exams and Graduation Day, there were a few matters which Ayah and I needed to sort out. Ayah had another 2 years before he was to graduate. And he was planning to continue with his MRCP after that. Would both of us be okay if Petronas were to ask me to go back to KL straight away after graduating? Would we be able to survive yet an even huger distance love affair considering how close we had become then?

We needed to buy time. We needed to think fast.

It was April/May 1991. And I was graduating in July that year...

To be continued...

The Sequel (Cardiff : 1986-1988)

Phew...the last one week had been crazy, and I think I need to apologise to some of you who might have hopped by every now and then hoping to catch up with the sequel. So sorry, guys...

I also celebrated my BIG 4 birthday on Wednesday, but I'll have to say that it wasn't much of a celebration. WORK got in the way :( I even had to cancel my birthday lunch with Ayah as I couldn't even spare a measly one hour to eat with him! But, Ayah made a point to finish his clinic early that evening, and the whole family had dinner at SD Club. Even then, I was glancing at my watch nervously and anxiously every 5 minutes or so! So, Ayah and I have decided. We're going to do dinner again on Wesak Monday, this time we're going for Japanese (the whole family's favourite :)!

I only had a total of 6 hours sleep over Tuesday until Thursday, and it was a sleepless night on my birthday itself. Not just for me, but also for Ayah who had been such a dear - helping me prepare my Power Point presentation for Thursday morning, while I was attending to another piece of work!!! I consider THAT as the main birthday present for me this year, dear. Thanks so much! And, oh yes, thank you, too, for the beautiful crystal glass jewellery box. I LOVE IT! (But, errr...I'm also hoping you know that I'm expecting the "bling bling" to come later - to fill the box after this! Hahahahaa!!)

Before I proceed with The Sequel, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everybody for the birthday wishes and do'a. I truly appreciate them and am very touched with all the warm thoughts. Thank you again. May God bless all of you.

Okay, NOW - The Sequel.

September, the time everybody was waiting for finally came. However, Oxbridge students were divided into 2 groups. The first group was for those going to Public Schools, and the second group was for those going to Independent Colleges all over the UK.

For those who are not familiar with UK education system and structure, PUBLIC SCHOOLS are actually PRIVATE (costing-parents/sponsors-a-bomb type) BOARDING schools (and NOT government schools as the name suggested). And JPA would pair the students, so that each school would have 2 Malaysian students in every batch (i.e. 2 in Lower and 2 in Upper Six) These are schools where the rich and famous send their kids to, and check this out, Ab*d (my MT friend actually got into Ba*min*on School in Bristol, where Mick Jagger and the late King Hussein of Jordan sent their daughters to! Fuuuyyyyooooo....What I'm trying to say here is - those who went to Public Schools were TRULY the creme de la creme, and they had the opportunity to really rub shoulders with the kids of all those stiff upper lips elite group.

Independent Colleges on the other hand, are quite varied - some have hostels for the students, while some don't. And the students do normally rub shoulders with rich kids, too, except that most of them had the same upper lips like us. Hehehe!

Public Schools would normally start their school terms in early September, while Independent Colleges would only start their terms towards the end of September.

Ayah was chosen to attend a Public School - Uppi**ham School, in Leicestershire. His partner was Sh*kri, a budak Sekolah Lorong Harimau. I, on the other hand was chosen to attend an Independent College - Ne* Col*ege Cardiff, in Wales. And because of that, we didn't get to fly on the same flight.

Ayah and the rest of the Public School group left for the UK on 26th August 1986, while myself, and the rest of the Independent College group only left Malaysia on 11th September 1986. (By the way, it was Ayah who actually remembered and told me these exact dates!! Power punyer 3lbs...) I remember NOT being that sad, because I knew that whatever it was, insya Allah, we wouldn't be that far from each other. Hey! If you were to think about it, we would have been thousands of miles apart should I were to stay in the A Levels Programme in Malaysia what...

I remember getting postcards from London EVERYDAY from Ayah until the last day before my flight to the UK, and true to his trademark, his postcards were numbered, too! And it was such a pleasant surprise when we reached Heathrow on that chilly September morning, when I saw Ayah and a few friends from the Public School group waiting for us there! Apparently, their schools were to start only a few days after that, and Ayah was only scheduled to register that next day. Of course, both of us had to contain our excitement of seeing each other at the airport as there were MSD officers everywhere maaaa!

After checking in at Malaysia Hall (the old one in Bryanston Square), the newly arrived students were given a briefing on what was happening and when each of us were supposed to leave for our colleges. I remember being VERY tired that morning, but, because I knew Ayah would be leaving for Uppi**ham the next day, I accepted Ayah's invitation to join him for a walk/stroll along Oxford Street later that morning.

And I remember him taking and holding my hand for the FIRST time, as we were turning left at the intersection between Oxford Street and Marble Arch that morning...

I was sure that it was a calculated move by Ayah - that spot would be far enough to be out of the spying eyes of any MSD officers. And I remember feeling very warm, and very safe holding his hand on that cold morning. It just felt very natural. It just felt very right.

Ayah left for Uppi**ham the next day, and the following day I left for Cardiff. And that was the beginning of yet another long-distance relationship between Ayah and I.

Oh ya...I forgot to tell you all - I was the ONLY Malaysian girl going to Lower Six at Ne* Col*ege, Cardiff that year. The other three Oxbridge students were Sazl*, Yo*, and Idr*s. So, there were only the four of us in our batch. Or so, I thought at first, until a week later when another SIX students joined us. ALL GUYS - from the Sekolah Askar Sungei Besi under the MINDEF scholarship. So, there I was - surrounded by all these handsome, separa-handsome, and lebih kurang-handsome GUYS in Cardiff - ALL NINE of them! And I was the only Malaysian girl in Lower Six.

I remember going nearly EVERYWHERE with all NINE of them the first few months we were in Cardiff. Fuuuuhhhh, kalau goyah chenta, today's story would have been different altogether maaaa!! Hahahahaha! The guys and I became very close. BUT - sorry to disappoint those of you who were expecting that there would be an orang ketiga in our relationship while I was in Cardiff. Because there was none. Sazl*, Yo*, Idr*s, Ros*an, Ra*in, H*lim, Ma*ek, Ru*di and L*m were all like my big brothers. They were always looking out for me...And my days in Cardiff had been very colourful, very sweet and very memorable indeed because of them.

There were of course a few Malaysian seniors doing their Upper Six at the same college, and I shared a house with our seniors Am* and Far*iz (both from Seremban Girls High School). Our first house was a typical Welsh terrace house on Planta**net Street, while the boys were staying right opposite us. We then moved to Despe**er Street, and 2 of the boys - Ros*an and Yo*, moved to the flat above us. This proved to be very convenient when Ayah came to visit me (which, by the way was VERY frequent!) By the way, both places were just sepelaung from that majestic Cardiff Arms Park Stadium.

The next year - our crucial Upper Sixth year, I moved yet to another house. This time to West**n Avenue in Llandaff, sharing with my juniors - Oz* (also from Seremban Girls School) and Il*a (SMSPP), and May (a HK student). Am* and Far*iz by then had already moved on to Dundee and Oxford respectively. Whoever my housemates were, they were all VERY familiar with Ayah. Pantang ada cuti ajer, he would be in Cardiff!!!

And TWO things that I would NEVER EVER forget were something he did for the first time when we were in Lower Six. (Errrr....NO! NOT what you guys are thinking! HAHAHAHAHA! Weiiii!!! We all budak baik weiiii!!!)

It was Ayah's first half-term break, and he decided to spend it in Cardiff. I was staying at Despe**er Street with Am* and Far*iz then, and Ros*an and Yo* were staying above us - which was quite convenient logistically as Ayah could bunk in with them every time he came for a visit! We spent the whole time either studying, going for walks at Sofia's Park, and the Castle Grounds, going to the movies, etc. And one week went by REALLY fast, I tell you.

The day arrived when he had to go back to Uppi**ham, and I went with him to Cardiff Central Station to send him off. I remember feeling very sad, and it felt like there was a big hole in my heart that day. And as the train was leaving the platform, he made a promise that he would come and visit again very soon. I remember him asking me to study hard and take care of myself, and there I was starting to cry...and THEN he uttered it -

"I love you..." , very softly and just as the train door was closing... His FIRST utterance of the three little magic words to me...

And I for the life of me can't remember whether I actually said, "I love you, too" back to him, or not then!! But, I remember being stunned, and feeling very, very sad. And I remember crying...(I know...I know...cememeh betul...)

But, I remember the phone-call Ayah made while waiting for his connecting train to Oakham at Peterborough that evening. The thing was - there was no phone in our house, and what my house-mates and I would do was we would fix a certain time for anybody to call us to a public phone near our house at a specified time, on a specified day. And Ayah had asked me to wait at that public phone that evening as he promised that he would call while waiting for the last connecting train to Oakham, as he would have about forty minutes to kill. And he did call at the promised time. He was telling me how tired he was and how sad he felt leaving me that afternoon, and suddenly, the words just came out from me, just like that - "I love you..." MY FIRST utterance of the three little magic words to him... And I felt so relieved after saying it...

Ayah became very quiet suddenly. He then went on to utter the three little words back to me again. In fact BOTH of us became VERY quiet after that. Ayah then excused himself and we said our bye byes. And I remember dragging my feet back to the house, with very heavy heart - thinking of the next term break when Ayah would be visiting again...

It was about 11:30pm that night when our doorbell rang. Am* was listening to some very loud rock music, and I didn't think she heard the bell. Far*iz was studying as usual, and I knew that I had to answer the door. I was quite reluctant as it was already quite late, and none of us were expecting any visitors. Both Ros*an and Yo* were out, and I thought maybe it was one of them. Maybe they left their keys at home, or something like that.

I was just going down the stairs, when through the opaque glass door, I saw a figure in grey attire waiting outside, and my heart skipped a beat.

"Could it be...? Hmmmm...it couldn't be him...could it?!!!"

I just stood there behind the door, waiting for that person to turn.

And turned he did! And through that opaque glass door, I saw Ayah's face!

I immediately opened the door and let him in, and Ayah was grinning away, wheeling his luggage in, looking at how confused and dumb-founded I was seeing him there in front of me!!! And both of us started laughing!

Ros*an and Yo* came back then, and they, too, were surprised to see Ayah that night!

Apparently, after his earlier phone-call, and after hearing the three little words coming out from me, he felt that he had to turn back . He then called his House Master, Mr. De V**l (NOT Devil, okay?!) and told him a white lie that he had missed the last connecting train to Oakham and therefore he had decided to turn back to Cardiff! Ayah managed to get his ticket and got on the next train to Cardiff - and that was how he turned up in front of our opaque glass door that night...

That was the FIRST time Ayah pulled that stunt, and that was NOT the last time, either! I think throughout our Cardiff days, he did that at least 4 times...And the guys would jokingly tease and kutuk Ayah every time he would tercanguk in front of our door after we had said our bye byes earler in the day. And memang teruk lah jugak Ayah kena...

The normal things :

"Haizal, engkau baik check ticket engkau. Aku rasa engkau salah date. Kau punya train bukan hari ni kot?"

or

"Haizal, aku tak kemas sleeping bag kau, tau. Aku rasa, malam ni kau tido sini lagi kot?!"

or

"Haizal, engkau baik tukar sekolah aje lah..."

Even Mr De V**l would tease him about it! Yup, even his House Master knew about his Cardiff girl!

The two years in Cardiff definitely left very fond memories for us.

And, one thing that both of us could not explain was - even though we suffered emotionally every time we had to part ways, we NEVER tried to influence each other on the choices of universities for us to pursue our studies after our A Levels so that we BOTH would be studying at the same University, and for once would not endure the heartaches of being apart.

In fact, NONE of Ayah's 5 choices which he put in his UCCA Form were the same as MY 5 choices! You would have thought, that after going through what we had gone through, we would at least take the next step and at least went to the same University, right? But, I guess, we were still very sensible, and we chose to go to the university of our own choice, which offered the best for our respective courses then.

And, after my A Levels days in Cardiff, and Ayah's days in Uppi**gham, I went on to do Law at University of E**t An**ia, and Ayah went on to do Medicine at the University of New**st*e up** T*ne...

And that was the beginning of yet another 3 YEARS of long distance love affair between Ayah and I, but this time, as University students...



...To be continued...

The Sequel (KPP : 1986 # 4)

Hmmmm...Had too much coffee at my Department's Annual Dinner just now - yearly affair to bid farewell to our Final Year students (By the way, I was voted "Lecturer Paling Anggun and Jelita" by my students! HAHAHAHA! Buter ker aper? Ker nak sogok dapat markah lebih?!) Anyway, I'm now wide awake. Great! Now I can finish off marking the exam papers, but before that, let me just continue with the sequel. Can aarrrr?

Fasten your seat-belts, you guys! Here we go again...on another roller-coaster ride...

Anyway, after that few days post-SPM results break, we all went back to KPP, and I was just not in the mood to see or talk to anybody, especially Ayah. But, hey, Subang Jaya KPP was not a huge place, and how long did I think I could mope around and feel sorry for myself? It was the most difficult thing to do - meeting Ayah and talking about my SPM results. I tried avoiding him, but a girl had to do what a girl had to do.

The morning after we got back to KPP, I sent a message to Ayah via Ibu, telling him of my results and how I was feeling and all. And within 5 minutes of getting my message, Ayah came down to see me at my classroom, and we started talking at the corridor. I think Ayah was not really sure as to how to handle the situation, and he kept on saying, "It's okay....it's okay..." And I just could not stop crying. Sedeh sangat....

Not many people knew about us, and they must have wondered what was going on between us then. Those who knew about us being an item(ish) must have thought that we were having a tiff! But, I just didn't care what people were saying. My eyes were swollen with too much crying before that, anyway...and it didn't help that I was surrounded by all the top SPM students in my class...

But, things got better after a few days after I managed to get a grip of myself and said, "Shana, life has to go on...You have to accept whatever it is that's going on in your life, and make the best of it!" And with that, I just moved on...There were a few other Oxbridge students who were in the same shoes as me, and they seemed to be handling it better than I did, and I took courage in how they just went on with life and continued doing what needed to be done.

What I didn't know, and what Ayah did not tell me was - just before our results came out, Ayah had gone to JPA and had made an appeal to CHANGE his Programme, from Ivy League to Oxbridge, and from doing Engineering in the U.S of A, to doing Medicine in the U.K. It was supposed to be a surprise... If Ayah were to get it, that would mean that BOTH of us would be flying off to the UK that September. That was of course IF straight A's on my SPM results slip was the order of the day, which unfortunately it was not...

And it was about a month after our results came out when Ayah got a letter from JPA. His application to be transferred to the Oxbridge Programme had been approved, and he was to fly off to the UK in September that year...

I just could not describe how I felt when Ayah broke the news to me that one afternoon...Was I happy? I really wasn't sure of myself. But, I could see that even though it was such great news to him, Ayah seemed very, very sad.

What a twist...

It started off with me being in the Oxbridge Programme, and he, in the AAD Programme.

And I was still in the Oxbridge Programme, when he was promoted to the Ivy League Programme.

And, when he was transferred to the Oxbridge Programme, when we were supposed to be flying off to the UK together that September, I was demoted to the A Levels Programme...

The irony of life...And such tests to be bestowed upon us.

It was one of the most difficult and awkward times in our relationship, but, we were taking it a day at a time.

I remember getting a letter from Petronas nearing the end of our English Course in Subang Jaya, confirming my status as a student under the A Levels Programme, and I kept staring at it with tears flowing freely down my face...

It was just too much to handle. The English Course was coming to an end, all my AAD friends would thereafter move to all over Shah Alam according to their Programmes. All my Oxbridge friends, and Ayah of course, would be on a long break before starting their Terminology Course in Kelana Jaya, and there I was - left alone in Subang Jaya, having to make new friends. It felt like I was in a bottomless pit...

But life had to go on.

After the English Course ended, the A Levels Programme started. I remember there were a few of us ex-Oxbridge students who were transferred to the A Levels Programme having to take the bus from Subang Jaya to Kelana Jaya everyday to attend our classes. It was such a chore to me, and it didn't help that Ayah and I was not able to communicate like before. He was back home, and I was busy attending classes, and all.

And it was such a relief, when all the Oxbridge students reported for their one month Terminology Course at KPP Kelana Jaya in July that year, and I got to meet Ayah everyday! And it was in Kelana Jaya that we first went out just the two of us...

Nothing romantic - Ayah would come to my classroom, and we would go to one of the restaurants there and we would buy our nasi bungkus and we would have our lunch at his classroom. By that time, the whole world already knew about us! But, for some reason, I just felt that I did not want to continue with the relationship...

I was so confident that it would not work out. What with him in the UK and me in Malaysia for 2 years, and all? What I didn't think of was that it would have been the same if he were to be in the AAD Programme and I was in the Oxbridge Programme in the first place! I guess, I was still drowning myself in self-pity without realising it...

And I started distancing myself from him. And I remember there were a few girls from the A Levels Programme who were Ayah's tuition mates, who happened to be close friends with Ayah's sister (my now SIL)who was their junior in the Seremban Girls School, whom I always saw talking to Ayah...(lawa-lawa pulak tu!) And again, because of self-pity, I started to ambik hati...And I wrote him a looonnng letter saying that it was better for us to end whatever it was that was going on between us before the relationship went deeper and further...

And I remember that afternoon when he came to see me at my classroom. He was pretty furious, and he asked me to follow him to his classroom. We reached his classroom and he started asking me to draft a letter to Petronas - a letter to appeal for me to be reinstated to the Oxbridge Programme.

I remember being very degil and told him that it would not work. I have resigned to the fact that I would be doing my A Levels in Malaysia. I was okay with that, and why couldn't he just accept that?! I was pretty defiant... But, he was very determined.

And I remember Ayah drafting that letter and asking me to help him provide all sorts of reasons to give to Petronas as to why I should be reinstated, etc. I just couldn't care less at first, but seeing him so determined and so sincere to help, I sat down and we came up with the draft. Ayah must have brought it back with him and printed it out, and the next day, he asked me to sign the letter and we put it in the post. And the waiting game began - well, at least for Ayah it did. Myself? I didn't dare to even hope that my appeal would be considered. I didn't even get an acknowledgment from Petronas of their receipt of that letter!

The Oxbridge Terminology Course finally ended at the end of July / early August. Ayah went back home and I was back to the old routine. Ayah would come and visit me every now and then in between his busy schedule preparing for his trip to the UK that September, and we would spend time talking at Pawagam P.Ramlee during his visits or just chit-chatting in the Common Room. All those while, I was preparing myself for the day when I had to say goodbye to him when he would leave for the UK. That was until THAT one afternoon.

I was in my room preparing for the next day lessons when I was called downstairs by the warden. There were visitors for me. Strange - because my brother had just visited me two days before that, and my uncles or aunties would only come to pick me up for the weekend. (My Abah and Mommy were still staying in Taiping back then).

I went down to the Common Room, and I was pleasantly surprised to see my Abah and my Brother Im* waiting for me there. After salaming and hugging them, my brother said, "We have good news for you!" And I asked, "What?!!" I just could not think of anything at all that could be the good news Abang Im* was telling me about...


Abang Im* was holding a white envelope in his hand, and he was giving me his usual mischievous looks, and he said (or rather - screamed!)-






"CONGRATULATIONS!!!! YOU'RE BACK IN THE OXBRIDGE PROGRAMME!!!"

And he started hugging me, and I - a bit dazed and confused, started hugging him and my Abah, and we started jumping up and down (except for my Abah, of course!), and I started screaming!

I just couldn't belive it!

"Are you sure?!!", I asked Abah and Abang Im*, and they nodded. And Abang Im*, with the big grin still on his face, gave me the envelope.

I opened it, and read the letter inside -

"Dengan sukacitanya - rayuan anda telah dipertimbangkan - pihak kami bersetuju untuk membenarkan saudari meneruskan pangajian di bawah Program Oxbridge di dalam bidang Undang-Undang bermula bulan September tahun ini", etc.

And suddenly, all the pent up emotions which had been bottling up inside me for the last few months just flooded out, and I started to cry...And I mean REALLY CRY...



...To be continued...

The Sequel (KPP : 1986 # 3)

I'm not supposed to continue with this sequel now...I've just finished marking 5 Dissertations, and 58 pieces of my students' assignments (all within the last 3 days) and I have 24 more pieces of assignments and 82 pieces of exam scripts to mark for the rest of the week (and mind you each exam script contains 3 essays/answers! AAAArrrrrggggghhhh!!!) But, if I didn't take a break now and continue with this Cerita Chenta - I'm going to explode...and poor Ayah would have to pick all the bits and pieces of me nanti.... Eeeeewwwwww...GROSSSSSS!!!

So to avoid that - here's The Sequel :) Hehehehe!

So, everything was hunky dory for us - Ayah was promoted to Ivy League and I was in the Oxbridge Programme and we were surrounded by our fantastic friends. Life was more fun as skodenging was made easier, as our hostels were very near to each other in Subang Jaya. Our classes were held at Sri KL School which was about 10 minutes walk from our hostels, and the best thing was - we girls would have to pass by the guys' block on the way to class, and oh yes - our warung lepak was right in front of Ayah's room, too! (Our warung lepak was the Pawagam P.Ramlee in SJ - not sure if it's still there, though?) So, actually both Ayah and I had a field day skodenging each other in Subang Jaya! Hehehe!

And it might be hard for some of you to believe (and I'm sorry to disappoint some of you all), but the truth be told - the 5/6 months we were in Subang Jaya, Ayah and I NEVER went out together just the two of us on a proper date! Sorry, guys!!!

I remember the first time we went out together, there were TEN of us - myself and Ab*d (from Group 2), and Ayah, Ibu, Ju*a, Sh*dy, B*gg, Az*in and Aza*in (from Group 13), and J* (from Group 12) - we went out for lunch at Subang Jaya's Shakey's Pizza. And it was and had ALWAYS been like that. There would always be a friend or two (or EIGHT!) chaperoning us, and we didn't mind a bit. In fact, it was Ayah or me who would ajak our friends to join us. Strange, huh? But, somehow, we just felt right NOT to go out just the two of us then...

One of the things that I remember most about KPP Subang Jaya was of course the eve of Valentine's Day that year...Ohhhh...how can I forget that night? We girls just came back from our night class, had our teh tarik at Pawagam P.Ramlee, and had gone back to our own rooms, and I was getting ready for bed, when my dorm-mate came to me and said, "Ada orang nak jumpa downstairs". I looked at my watch and it was already 11:40p.m! "Hmmmm...who could it be?" - I wasn't expecting any visitors at that hour!

What to do? I had to change to a more decent clothes as I couldn't be going downstairs in my pyjamas, could I? So, off I went down, and just as I reached the Ground Floor, I saw Ayah. There he was - with a BIG red envelope and a single red rose in his hand!!! Caaaaiiiiirrrrrr, I tell you! I didn't want to appear too anxious, and I kept my cool. And we started chit-chatting (all those time he was holding on to the envelope and rose, and I was glancing nervously at those items in his hand!!! Hahaha! Tak malu betul...)

And at the stroke of midnight, and right on cue, Ayah wished me, "Happy Valentine's Day..." and handed me the big red envelope and the single red rose, and said, "I hope you'll like these..."

"LIKE???!!" I LOVED THEM! I just did not know how to react, and I think my face was all red then! Palpitations...palpitations!!!

And right at THAT moment, Encik Tal*a, our warden walked by and said, "BALIK BILIK!!! Dah pukul dua belas ni!!!" CHIIISSSSSS!!!! Perosak agenda betul... So, no after mid-night rendezvous for us that night. I thanked Ayah, and went back up to my room and he went back to his room. And I remember having a difficult time sleeping that night....Rasa panas seluruh badan woooo...HAHAHAHAHA!!

Another thing that I remember about Subang Jaya was our "Song Composition Club" which we would have on Tuesday nights. I remember our Club teacher, (who was also our Grammar teacher) Mr. Ana*da Ti*aka who would bring his guitar kapok, and there were about 8 or 9 of the club members at every meeting. And surprise, surprise....(not!) BOTH Ayah and I were members of that club! And the funny thing was - the members were either from Group 2 (three of us - myself, Ab*d and Wa*i) and Group 13 (Ayah, Ibu, Ju*a, B*gg, Sh*dy, Az*in and Aza*in! And also another MT friend, J* (from Group 12). So, basically that club was formed exclusively for us! Hahahaha!

I mean...I could understand why Ayah was in it laaa - he plays a few musical instruments, and he was (and is) into composing songs, and he's also quite a good singer But, moi???!!! Gosh, I was and AM the most tone-deaf person who ever walked on the face of the earth, and the berudu-berudu dewasa during their spawning/mating season pun sound so much better than me when I (TRY to) sing! Tapi, sebab nak curi peluang to spend every little time possible with Ayah, I sanggup masuk Club tu and made a fool of myself...(GOSHHHH!!! Cringe...cringe!)

There were also a few occasions when Ab*d and I were walking to class from our hostel and we would bump into Ayah, also walking to Sri KL (kekadang tu memang saja go to class time-time I knew Ayah would be leaving for his class...Heheheh!) and being the gentleman that he was (and is :)) he would teman and walk us from the Pawagam P.Ramlee junction right up to our classroom before going up to the second floor to Group 13. Sigh... :)

I remember being very happy at Subang Jaya. The time spent there was arguably one of the best times of my life. I was hopelessly falling in love...What more could I ask for?

But come March that year, it looked like everything was about to change...

Yup - the day our SPM results came out.

I remember most of us STFians took the night train from KL to JB the night before. We reached JB in the morning and went straight to school. And after meeting our teachers and juniors in school we went to the school office to collect our result slips - our hearts jumping and thumping...

And THAT morning turned out to be one of the worst days of my life...

My results was not as I (or my teachers) expected. It did not reflect the string of A's that I always got throughout my Form 4 and 5. And I just couldn't explain it...What went wrong?! On hindsight, I should bersyukur as it was NOT a bad results at all - but, it was just not good enough for the Oxbridge Programme...I JUST missed out on the single digit aggregate...And I was so, so devastated...

And it didn't help when the next morning it was all over the newspapers that Ayah was one of Malaysia's best students for SPM that year...

I was VERY happy for him, of course...but, at the same time, very, very broken with my own results...

And for the next couple of days after I went back to KL, I didn't call Ayah...and all those while, he was frantically trying to get in touch with me...And I - I just could not bring myself to face him.

And from that moment on, I was resigned to the fact that come September that year, Ayah would be flying off to the U.S of A under the Ivy League Programme, and I would be staying on in Malaysia for 2 years under the A Levels Programme...

"It just wasn't meant to be", I kept on telling myself...

To be continued...

The Sequel (KPP : 1986 # 2)

Alahai...naik segan lah pulak nak sambung cerita... But, there might be somebody out there who'll hire a hit-man to kill me if I didn't finish this. So, here we go again.

The first message from Ayah was more or less a "Hello, how are you" kind of message, and him congratulating me for being in the Oxbridge Programme, etc. And I remember replying telling him how surprised (or rather - shocked!) I was that he was neither in the Oxbridge nor the Ivy League Programme. The thing was - there were a few of bebudak Sekolah Melayu KK in the same group as I was, and I overheard them talking amongst each other as to how surprised they were that Ayah, and a few other budak terrer Sekolah Melayu KK were not in either Programme. (They didn't know about the going ons between Ayah and I then, so, memang no filters whatsoever lah when they were talking about him in front of me! Nasib baik it was all good things about Ayah which came out of them. If not, I would have formed a different picture of him then!)

I remember Ayah's reply to that message, stating that : YES, he was upset and frustrated, but he was okay, as he believed there was a reason for everything. He said he was settling down well in his Group and getting along well with his classmates. I remember him writing about his classmates in one of his earlier messages - a melting pot of guys and girls from different schools, and I think Ayah clicked within no time with Sh*dy (Mr. Engineer), B*gg, Az*in and Az**in who later ALSO became our loyal part time Postmen, together with Ibu, Ab*d and also J*ra (another STF friend who was in his group).

Anyway, for about 10 days or so, the messages were coming and going like nobody's business, and I always looked forward to lunch, tea and dinner time as Ibu would always be bringing messages from Ayah every time after each class/session, and I have to admit, I remember feeling VERY disappointed on a few occasions when Ibu did not have Ayah's messages with her. And all those while, Ayah and I STILL had not met each other...

Of course, there were a few nervous glances between us every now and then, be it when he skodeng me or I skodeng him when we were in our own classrooms in between lessons (Ayah's classroom was on the 2nd Floor of the building, situated diagonally from my classroom on the 1st Floor, by the way. Strategic la jugak. After dua tiga kali skodeng - "Handsome jugak mamat ni!" - a far cry from that mamat posing maut hari tu! Hahaha!)

It was rather difficult for us to meet as our schedules were really packed, and of course, we didn't want other people to know about us! And because nobody knew about us, there were a few guys who were "interested" to know me! I remember one mamat Ivy League by the name of Awang Ikang, and another mamat Oxbridge by the name of Mat Spen (kedua-duanya bukan nama sebenar) who started sending salams to me through my classmates. And the thing about Awang Ikang was - he was pretty persistent! There would be about a dozen of his friends who would wait for me every time I went to class, calling my name continuously, that so much so, I felt quite harassed most of the times!

But I remember that one evening quite clearly. I was walking towards my class with Ab*d after solat Maghrib when Awang Ikang's friends came towards us (about 7-8 of them!) conveying his salam to me, and I was PRETTY scared. Suddenly, out of nowhere, B*gg and Az*in came and called out to Ab*d and me, and in front of Awang Ikang's friends, B*gg gave me a message from Ayah, and very loudly said, "Ni message from Haizal - dia kirim salam kat you!" I think Awang Ikang's friends got the message, and after that, they never bothered me again!

And all those while, Ayah and I STILL had not met each other - eye to eye...

The thing about KPP was, our classes were all held in Section 17, while all the students stayed all over Shah Alam. I was staying in Section 8, while Ayah was staying in Section 6, and every morning we would board the buses before the sun rose to go to our classes, and we would straight away board the buses and go back to our apartments right after our classes ended every night. So, it was quite impossible to have a proper "meeting" with him. And our routine was - Ab*d and I would catch the earliest bus to avoid the crowd, and we would be the first to reach our classroom, and we would just sweep the floor and tidy the place up before everybody else came.

And we were doing just that one morning - sweeping, dusting, re-arranging the tables and chairs, when suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I could see somebody standing in front of our classroom's door. Mind you - it was still dark, and there were not many people around then, and when you see a white thing like that - standing there, not moving, you would think twice before you turn to look, right?! But, somehow, I didn't know how or why, I knew it was Ayah, and I turned to look at the door...

And there he was - looking VERY nervous, not knowing whether to smile or not, or whether to enter the classroom. Ab*d looked at him, and then looked at me, and started walking to the back of the classroom, pretending to do some dusting there - tersengih-sengih! Sporting punyer member...

I was VERY nervous, too, but I smiled at him, and said, "Haizal, kan?" (Duuuhhhhhh???!!!! Hahaha!), and he said, "Yes - Shana, kan?" (Double Duuuuuhhh???!!! And this was after nearly 2 weeks of exchanging messages! Hahaha!) and he offered his hand and we salamed (I know, I know....Haram...but, what to do? Darah muda...and I didn't want to embarrass him by not returning the gesture. Hehehe!) We started talking along the corridor, and I have to say I can't really remember what was said that morning, as I was in Cloud 9...)

The messages between us became more frequent after that. And we were more or less resigned to the fact that come September that year, I would be flying off to the UK, while Ayah would continue his studies under the AAD Programme in Malaysia for two years before flying off to the U.S of A. But, we just didn't want to linger too much on that. We were just seizing the day, and enjoying what was developing between us on a daily basis.

Oh ya...by the end of the first month in KPP, my friends and I, naturally had been skodenging some hunks around us in KPP, and each of us had given nicknames to the Mamats whom we fancied/admired from afar. And we used the names of gemstones to identify those hunks in our conversations so that people would not know who we were talking about. I remember all these Mamats until now, but if ever I were to meet them again, I wouldn't know their real names as I only knew them either as Jade, Emerald, Ruby, Sapphire or Amethyst. As for me, as there was some sort of an understanding that I wasn't supposed to skodeng anybody else, as I already had Ayah (Chewah!!!), Ayah became my "hunk", and we called him "Topaz"...

And you guys know what? I can't really remember when exactly that I told him that we nicknamed him "Topaz", but from that day onwards, whenever he signed cards or letters for me, he would write "Topaz" underneath his signature...And he STILL does it until now...

And I think it was in early February 1986 when we had to move to a new place. Some of the students had to move to Kelana Jaya, and various parts of Shah Alam, but, as fate had it, both Ayah's group and mine were moved to KPP Subang Jaya. I remember feeling very relieved and happy when I found out that he would still be near me...

And it was sometime in February (I think) about a month before SPM results came out when there were rumours that some students from the AAD and A Levels Programmes would be "promoted" to either the Oxbridge or Ivy League Programme, and I was really praying that Ayah would be one of them! And true enough, during lunch one day, Ibu came to me and told me, "Shana, good news! Haizal has been promoted to Ivy League!"

I was SO happy for him, and immediately wrote a message congratulating him. His reply came that afternoon, thanking me for the doa's, and all, and how happy he was and he wrote, "I MIGHT be asked to change and move to one of the Ivy League groups after this for the rest of this English Course, BUT, I'm going to appeal if they would just let me stay in Group 13 until the end of the course". I think he was already feeling very attached and close to his Group 13 friends, and he just didn't want to leave that group. And in Group 13 he stayed until the end of the English Course...

And I guess, THAT was the hikmah and the reason why he was put under the AAD Programme initially, as some of the close friends he made in Group 13 then are still his close friends until now. And of course - had Ayah not been in Group 13, process of sending messages to and fro between us during our KPP English Course time would have been very difficult indeed...

And so, from that moment on, we were resigned to the fact that by September that year, I would be flying off to the UK under the Oxbridge Programme, and Ayah would be flying off to the U.S. of A under the Ivy League Programme instead of staying in Malaysia for two years under the AAD Programme.

Or would we really?

...To be continued...