Sunday, June 8, 2008

The Sequel (KL : 1992 - 1993)

My apologies for the week hiatus. Normal excuses - work and play :). Just came back on Thursday from a 3-day break in Kuantan, where we had the sun and the sea, and yours truly had a heavenly pampering at the Sam**ra Spa at the Swi** Gar**n Resort and Spa. And while I was having their 1 hour 45 minutes Signature massage on Wednesday evening, Hanna and Hasya went for their hibiscus hair treatment.

Ayah was very generous throughout our Kuantan stay, but, I still can't figure out how the girls managed to pujuk him to let them have the hair treatment at the Spa! It wasn't cheap, but I guessed once in a while of pampering his girls with some beauty regime was okay for Ayah. THANK YOU, AYAH!!! (But, to Hanna and Hasya, if you all are reading this - tak boleh buat selalu, okay?) If not, Ayah will be fast losing his hair!

Anyway, back to the sequel ;) -

Being back in KL at the end of 1992, and knowing that it was for good and not just a 1 or 2 months break, was something else. I was so used to having Ayah either with me or just a phone-call or train ride away, and realizing that he was thousands of miles away really got some getting used to. There was no chance of him making his usual surprise visits whatsoever... I was in no mood to do anything, and was in fact more into not doing anything at all in the first month I was home.

I was getting Ayah's numbered letters and postcards regularly and he would also make his phone-calls every weekend, and my Abah and Mommy were resigned to the fact that their youngest daughter was totally smitten with this boy who was in his final year of Med School in Newcastle. My Abah was the one who would be overly excited whenever he answered Ayah's phone-calls and would ask me to hurry up and take the phone and speak to Ayah (I think my Abah takut Ayah had to pay a lot for the calls - nanti tak cukup duit nak masuk meminang kot? HAHAHAHA!) As for my Mommy, she had always been in the know about Ayah as I would share with her bits and pieces about us for quite a while then.

Anyway, Ayah had already made a few courtesy calls on his bakal mertua the previous years when both of us came back to Malaysia for our Summer breaks. So, my Abah and Mommy more or less knew who and how he was. By then, I already knew that Ayah had won the approvals of both my parents. He didn't have to try very hard. What was there not to like? (I'm being subjectively biased here. Hahahaha!). So, that was a relief - one less worry for me!

After a month of getting on my Mommy's nerves at home, I started applying for my chambering slot at a few legal firms around KL. I went for several interviews, and I finally decided to chamber under Tuan Haji (now Datuk) Mu***ib Ra**k at his firm in Kampung Attap. My nine months period of chambering was indeed a very interesting and educating experience. One thing for sure, it made it so much easier for me to decide that legal practice would NOT be a long-term option for me! But, me being me, I was doing it just to get it over and done with. I did my Bar, and chambering was the next logical thing to do.

But, I have to say, I learned the A-Z and every single nitty gritty stuff about conveyancing in just under 3 months when I was tasked to re-open all the files on some abandoned housing project somewhere in Melaka. And for that, I thank my Master for throwing me into the deep end right from Day 1. I learned the hard way, but what I learned then have stayed with me until today - even after 13 years of quitting practice. More importantly, the work took my mind off Ayah somewhat.

While I was busy with being the tea-lady/office girl/receptionist/research assistant/ filing clerk/legal clerk, etc. in Kampung Attap, Ayah was busy with his Final year at Med School. And I was really missing him. If I wasn't at home during weekends, I would lepak at Ibu's bujang pad which she shared with 2 others of our MT friends, Ab*d and On**r in Taman Tun. By that time, Ibu was already busy planning for her engagement and wedding to her Ayah, while On**r and Sh**y (a.k.a Mr. Engineer) were embarking on their early courting stage. There were also J* and Iz**m. I was happy for them of course, but, seeing all the couples around me, really made me miss Ayah even more :(

However, having two other friends who were in the same boat made it easier to go through the days. Re*a was also pining for T**s, who was still in London, and Ab*d was also longing for Ra*f who was doing his CA in Southampton. The three of us kept each other's spirits up, and we became each other's tempat mencurah perasaan...

Syukur alhamdulillah, Ayah finally graduated in July 1993, and obtained his MBBS. His whole family went for his graduation, and as much as I wanted to be there with him, it was quite impossible. I was ultra-busy with my chambering tasks, and of course - I was never formally introduced to his parents. In fact, his parents were only officially informed of my existence and of our relationship on the day Ayah graduated! They of course knew or suspected that Ayah was seeing me for quite some time then, and they were just waiting to hear it from the horse's mouth itself!

Ayah told me (and this was later confirmed by my MIL) that right after his graduation ceremony, THAT afternoon itself, he got his parents to sit down at the hotel they were staying at, and started telling them about me, and that he wanted to get married the next year, i.e. one year after he started working. And Ayah was quite surprised because both his parents and his sister just laughed when he told them of his intentions. Apparently they had been waiting for the announcement/confession for quite some time then and they were just speculating amongst themselves that Ayah would do so immediately after his graduation, and they were right! My SIL even placed a bet on this! Hahaha!

Ayah was to start his housemanship in August, i.e. barely a month after graduating, but he came back to Malaysia for a few weeks to see me. Now that his parents had been informed of his intentions, he needed to proceed to the next thing. And I remember THAT day when he took me out for tea. My Abah was quite particular about us going out at night, you see, so our dates were either for lunch or tea - when the sun was still out. Hehehe!

We were having our desserts at Swensens that afternoon, when suddenly he just looked at me, and started to take a few deep breaths. I knew he was trying to say something, but he was finding it very difficult to say it. Then he started laughing, and I started laughing! And then he said it, in between his laughs -

"Will you marry me?"

I know, I know...NOT the most romantic way to pop the question. I guess we were so used to each other, and we took it for granted that we would get married, and there was never any question about it. It was understood. So, it was somewhat awkward for Ayah to have to ask me whether I would marry him! But, Ayah being Ayah, he had to do everything the proper way, according to the normal "steps" :)

And in between my laughs, I said to him - "HAHAHAHAHA! YES!!!"

And that was it! All formalities over and done with within 10 seconds. Hehehehe!

The next step was of course - MEETING THE FUTURE IN-LAWS...

Right after "proposing", Ayah told me that he wanted to bring me to see his parents. (Nasib baiklah not there and then on the same day!).

I remember Ayah telling me that he was bringing me home to meet them, and that he would pick me up from my house at 11:30a.m that Saturday. I couldn't sleep the whole night before, and was trying to decide what baju to wear, what shoes would go well with which baju, should I bring a handbag, or not, or whether I should put on any make up or not, etc. I think I even practised my smile in front of the mirror! God...I was so nervous. It was even worse than sitting for my Bar Finals! Bila fikirkan balik...kelakar lah pulak!

And I remember getting ready very early that Saturday morning. In fact, by 10:00a.m I was already waiting anxiously for Ayah to pick me up! However, Ayah called to say that he would only be at my house around 12:30p.m, as both his parents were stuck at a meeting, and would only be home around 1:15p.m. Aaaarrrggggghhh!! Another waiting game began...By that time, I was having cold sweats and palpitations like nobody's business!

Ayah finally came at 12:30p.m, and asked my Abah and Mommy's permission to bring me to see his parents. And after getting the green light, we left the house and headed straight to PJ. Throughout the 45 minutes journey, I kept on asking Ayah, "What if your Mom doesn't like me?", "What if that...", "What if this...", etc., and Ayah kept on telling me, "Don't worry! My parents will like you. Just be yourself! My Mom is VERY nice - all my friends like her!"

And I said to Ayah, "Yeah...but, I'm not JUST one of your friends! I'm the girl who's marrying her son!"

I was so seram sejuk when we reached his house. We went in, and I was told that his mom was in the kitchen preparing lunch. I was like - "Should I go to the kitchen? Or should I just wait in the lounge?" And I was just about to go to the back of the house when his mom came out to the front. "This is it...There's no turning back", I said to myself.

I straight away went to salam her, and she invited me to go up to the Dining Hall with her, with Ayah trailing behind. (FYI, I specifically told Ayah when we were in the car that under NO circumstances was he to leave me alone with his parents, not even for ONE second - and he was really keeping to his words then! Hehehe!)

I have to admit that my first impression of Ayah's mom was that she was a VERY serious lady that rarely smiled (which was a total contrast of how she REALLY is, now that I've been her daughter-in-law for nearly 14 years!! Hehehe!) She started asking me about my family, my parents, myself, etc. over lunch - the standard future MIL Spanish Inquisitions. Years later when we talked about that first meeting, my MIL told me that she was quite nervous, too, at the prospect of meeting her first future daughter-in-law that day! Hahaha!

Ayah's father (Arwah Daddy) only came back and joined us later that afternoon. Arwah Daddy was the one who was cool about the whole thing and even threw in a couple of jokes, which helped me feel more at ease. And I was also introduced to Ayah's grandmother (Arwah Wan) who seemed to take me to her liking straight away!

The whole thing went well, but, later, on our way back to my house, I kept on asking Ayah to tell me the truth if he thought his Mom didn't like me, and if I have flunked big time with his parents. I started reflecting the afternoon and began my "I should have done this and that", "I shouldn't have done that and this" etc., much to Ayah's amusement! And he kept on reassuring me that both his Mak and Daddy approved of me. He even threw in a bonus, saying that even his Wan liked me.

Wow, you all can just imagine - after more than 9 years of knowing each other, I finally got to meet his parents (and Wan), and the meeting went well. In fact, it went VERY well indeed... :)

It felt REALLY good to finally have been officially/formally introduced to the future in-laws after all those years. And it felt even better to know that our relationship was finally officially acknowledged and approved by BOTH sets of parents after ALL those years...

And there was so much more to look forward to from that day onwards.

To be continued...

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Kak Shana,

I actually blinked many times when I clicked onto your blog tonight. I thought my eyes were playing tricks again cause they are quite juling at the moment....

Anyway, betul pun your next entry is finally here. I can imagine how nerve wrecking it was to meet the future in-laws. urghh....an experience I remember vividly but want to forget. Though looking back, couldn't really see why I was so nervous!!

That one year chambering seem to have kept you busy and thus pre-occupied to an extent. I bet it seemed like eternity at the beginning. And before you know it, things are beginning to fall into place towards you two being together!!! Aaaaaaaah!!!

Yes, would be nice to catch with you this summer!!

Murni

Udinb said...

"Will you marry me?"

I hv been reading through all chapters of your Cerita Chenta, and it surprised me that Ayah still want to ask you.... I tot it's very much understood.

Perhaps, it's just formalities rite? It's sweet anyway. And romantic too.

Interesting love story .... and thank you for sharing with us.

Waterlily said...

Hi Shana

Waa...i just melted when I read your story...especially that proposing part...

And I know that seram sejuk feeling when meeting the inlaws too..! I was introduced during dear hubby's sister's wedding...can you imagine first time meeting the inlaws with the whole darn clan around? Picture a single grass...and breeze around.....uh huh...yep, that's how it was..

Amy said...

Hahahaha same here. I pun dok refresh page, betul ke dah update ni? Thanks for the update. Nerve wrecking kan jumpa future MIL? Ok, I'll be waiting for the sequel :)

rad said...

Ohh...bestnya!! (proposal part!)Hehehe... Your ayah can do it better on bended knees hahahaha!

MrsNordin said...

I wish the guys my daughters would be dating in future would follow your hubby's traits. Meet the parents first, be polite, be straight about your intentions. Then we will consent.

Sadly, boys these days just have no manners. Kadang2 tu, salam kita pun tidak! Parents they all tak ajar ke? So we told our kids, "Tell your friends, whenever they see us, they MUST salam us and show respect, ok!" And they abide! (hee.. hee.. kalau mak bapak diaorang tak ajar, meh sini I ajar kan!)

wanshana said...

Hi Murni,

Sorry to have kept you waiting for the Sequel. Mind and body not willing and not in tandem to post it earlier. Hehehe!

I'm sure everybody has an interesting story to share about his/her first meeting with the in-laws. I think, for girls, it's more nerve-wrecking to meet the MIL, than the FIL, kan?

Yes - after meeting his parents, then only it felt easier to plan for the Big Day :)

I look forward to meeting up with you this summer, too! ;)

Take care.

wanshana said...

udinb,

Thank you - it's a pleasure to share the story. It can kill two birds with one stone - to entertain the readers, and of course, make Ayah and I appreciate each other even more, insya Allah.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I didn't expect it either, so, it was a very nice surprise for me :)
It was just a formality which Ayah insisted upon. Hehehe!

wanshana said...

Hi Waterlily,

Oh God...I just can't imagine how it would be for me if I were in your shoes at his sister's wedding! I bet ALL eyes were on you - nak makan pun tak senang, and nak kena maintain chun all the time! Hehehe! But, I bet you made a VERY good impression on the in-laws that day. ;)

It would be interesting to know how I***s proposed to you, you know. Because the I***s I knew was a guy with VERY few words!

wanshana said...

Amy,

Hehehe...Again, sorry to have kept you waiting.

Memang tak senang duduk dibuatnya! You know my MIL, kan? So, you know how bubbly she really is. I guessed that day I first met her tu, she was just testing me. Hehehe!

Hmmm...sequels dah nak sampai the tail end dah ni tau... ;)

wanshana said...

rad,

If Ayah went on his bended knees at Swensens that day, I would have pretended I didn't know him! THAT would have been sooooooo embarrassing! Hahaha!

(But, of course if he were to do it in private, memang cair habis lah I, kot...)

wanshana said...

MrsNordin,

"Meh sini I ajarkan!" Hehehehe!

True...true!

Sometimes I do wonder if the parents themselves pun have manners in the first place, looking at their children!

It melts my heart when I see kids (especially the boys) who are so sopan santun and beradat. But, as you said, it's becoming a rare trait nowadays. Susah nak cari a true gentleman.

Whatever it is, I hope my son will follow his Ayah ;)

jabishah said...

Hi Kaka Shana,
Hehehe... tersengeh I sorang2 reading this post Good thing, am alone in the room.
The first time I met HB's parents was kat tepi jln PPP hostel at sec. 18. He pickep me up for dinner that night but his antic car broke down. Of all the ppl to call for help, he had to call his PARENTS! I lost count of how many times I wiped & reapplied my lipstick. Mcm merah sgt, padam. Pucatlah pulak, apply blk. Even HB was nervous for me. His concern was more for me than his car!! Hahaha...

ps- Kak Shana, our template now has a heading. So now you hv 2 titles to your blog. I recently deleted 1 in mine.

wanshana said...

Hi Jabishah,

Thanks for alerting me about the double headings to our blog template. If it wasn't for you, I bet I wouldn't have noticed it! When exactly did the second heading appear, ya? Anyway, I've removed one heading already. Thanks again :)

I bet the car-breaking-down incident will stay with you forever. The circumstances of how you got to meet your HB's parents for the first time are truly unique indeed, don't you think? You should write about it. Hehehe!

I can just imagine you and your lipstick demo session that day...Hahaha!

Madam Tai Tai said...

Hi Shana,

Lepas 9 tahun into the relationship baru you berjumpa his parents?!! That's quite a record, actually. And that is extremely patient of you..

It's quite refreshing to know that potential MILs are also struck by anxieties when meeting their prospective DIL for the first time. I wondered if my MIL felt the same way too. She didn't exude great warmth. She was rather standoffish I thought.

Thank God the years and my charm have managed to melt the ice between us. We are not great 'buddies', neither am I like a real daughter to her, but we are good.

wanshana said...

Madam Tai Tai,

Yup, it was a record alright...But, I wouldn't have it any other way. Come to think of it, I was not ready to meet the in-laws earlier than that anyway.

Both Ayah and I wanted to make sure that we were prepared mentally before we even started hinting to our parents about marriage. That would mean completing our studies and working for at least a year before settling down so that they wouldn't have any reasons to say "no" to our marriage/wedding plans. Hehehe!

I am so grateful and bersyukur to have my MIL as my MIL. She is such a dear, and she is very objective in her opinions and stand and she doesn't and never take sides. She treats all her children-in-law like her own, and I think I speak for the rest of her children-in-law when I said that we are very lucky to have her as our MIL.

Whatever it is, I think we should try our best to ambil hati and take care of our MILs, however impossible they could be sometimes. Without them we wouldn't have their sons to get married to in the first place, no?! ;)

Take care!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

i knew it! you guys took the plunge in 1994, didnt you, didnt you?? hehehehe...

i'm surprised it all went in a very formal way. after all this was what, the 90s? your dad's a cool FIL isnt he doc? i imagined every girl's dad would have this serious, deep voice receiving calls from boys especially, the one where it typically goes something like 'what do you want from my daughter?' or something along that line...hehehe...

MrsMcSlog said...

hi kak shana,

ive been following your sequels in silence, and praying that you would have time updating your cerita chenta everyday... (sad tho knowing that its coming to its end)

prolly you may continue sharing your cerita chenta til beranak pinak?

please drag the sequels....

salam

U.Lee said...

Hi Wanshana, Wow, your Ayah was a real 'follow the book' style of romancing and finally proposing...he sure need that several deep breaths, ha ha...but he sure made a very good choice with a wonderful woman like you, and a happy man marries the girl he loves. A happier man loves the girl he marries.
And there is only one happiness in life. To love and be loved.
Your 'chambering' reminds me of that movie, 'Erin Brokovich', ha ha.
Beautiful story, Wanshana...love it.
Keep on loving, Wanshana, and stay beautiful, best regards, Lee.

wanshana said...

Kerp,

Watch this space for the actual wedding date. Hehehe!

Yup - even I was surprised with how my Abah was with Ayah! For the record, my Abah is a very strict disciplinarian - even until now. (All his cucus are not supposed to make noise and are supposed to duduk sopan-santun when we're at my parents'! Can you imagine all the grandsons sitting still throughout every visit to their grandparents?!! If not, they all kena "jerkah" by their Jaddati! Even yang dah masuk U pun tau?!! Hehehe!)

Anyway, I guessed Ayah had made a good impression on my Abah kot...Tu yang dapat special treatment kot?!

wanshana said...

salam mrsmcslog,

Thank you for hopping by and following the sequels :)

Nak cerita sampai beranak-pinak? Aduh...nanti jadi fulltime job la pulak! Hahaha!

Anyway, I did write about my kids a lot in this blog of mine before starting this Cerita Chenta, and I will definitely continue writing about them after this, insya Allah.

Cheers, and take care :)

wanshana said...

Dear Uncle Lee,

Thank you :) Blush blush...Hehehe!

Yup, he followed the book alright, and I guessed that made our courting years quite special indeed.

I hope he's the "happiest" man - i.e. he married the girl he loved AND loves the girl he married AND knows that the girl he married loves him (to bits!)in return ;)

You have a good day, Uncle Lee.

Cheers and take care!

warrior2 said...

cepatnya kawin!

wanshana said...

warrior2,

Thank you for hopping by :)

"Cepatnya kawin!" Hahahaha! Well, mind and body were willing and ready, so, why tunggu lama-lama, right? ;)

And in a way, the relationship had somewhat reached a plateau by then, and it was high time to elevate it to the next logical level => MARRIAGE...

And we didn't feel that it was too cepat to kawin, as we had known each other for 10 years plus maaa! To a certain extent, can read the other's mind already! Hehehe!

Cheers!

Kmar said...

Shana ooi..

I yang ´lembut kepala lutut´ bila baca your sequel ni.. he.he.he... camno tu?? Excited.

Nerve-wrecking betul laaa!!!

It is so enjoyable to read your Mills & Boon story nih....

Theta said...

Finally the proposal and meeting the in-laws part!

I don't think it's that bad - the proposal part. Knowing each other for so long it is inevitable that you guys are tying the knot ;)

Mine happened in between the aisles of Top Shop in KLCC. Hehe.

You're lucky to have been introduced to the in-laws prior to getting married/engaged.

Since they hail from Kuching, I only got to meet them during the engagement ceremony! It was nerve-racking, to say the least!

wanshana said...

Kmar,

"Lembut kepala lutut", "Mills & Boon"??

I bet Ayah feels like one of the M&B heroes reading the sequels! (Eeeewwww!!NOT!!! Hahaha!)

wanshana said...

Theta,

"in between the aisles of Top Shop in KLCC"? Hmmmm....now you're making me really curious! Hehehe!

You must tell us what exactly happened, and of course how it felt to have met your parents-in-law for the first time on your engagement day!

If it was me, sure berpeluh-peluh in my delicate chiffon engagement baju, and it'll be all sticky, and my hands would have been sweaty bila nak salam future mak mertua! Hehehe!

MAMAMIA said...

Looking back, I think my hubby somehow skipped this 'Will U marry me?" part. Tak tahulah tu perbuatan sengaja or tak sengaja. Macam ni nak kena buat all over again lah. Coz I didn't get the opportunity to say Yes/No....

Apasal Ayah tak sorokkan cincin dalam ice cream U? Bila U terscoop it out fr your ice cream, then only he should popped out the question....

wanshana said...

Mamamia,

Papapia nak kena propose all over again?! Waduuhhh...jenuh jugak tu, ya? Hehehe!

Waaaa...you have a creative mind. The idea of putting the ring in the ice cream is a good one, cuma takut I tertelan aje cincin tu! Hahaha!

There was a movie (can't remember which though) whereby the guy put the ring in the girl's champagne glass :). Kalau kat Malaysia ni, kena letak dalam teh tarik or sirap bandung ke...guarantee memang tercekik! Hehehe...

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Kak Wanshana,

Thanks for coming over to my blog =) I appreciate it alot...

As for the pampering, the trick is to not do it often! Seriously...

I don't bug my dad for much, so once in a while, when I splurge on something, he doesn't mind. Hehe...Don't tell 'Ayah' I said that, cos I don't want him to come find me if Hanna and Hasya follow my advice!

As for the marriage proposal, haha. He must have been so nervous! Lucky you said yes =)

Scarred Soul said...

Dear Kak Shana,

Can't wait for the next installment of your Cerita Chenta!

wanshana said...

Dear Daphne,

Thank YOU! It's a pleasure to have you here :)

I don't pamper myself and the kids that much either. Believe it or not -

(i) the ONLY times I had any massages at all were during my confinement period after giving birth to my 3 kids,

(ii) the ONLY time I had my mandi lulur was a day running to my wedding,

(iii) and I NEVER had any facials done (except by my Mak Andam before the wedding!) I just keep to my Cli**que 3-Step routine all these years! No problem at all - I still have a face. Hahaha!

Not that Ayah doesn't let me, in fact he would ask me to just pamper myself every now and then, but, aiiiyaaa...no time maaa! And, all those stuff - not in my priority list lah.

And I guess, my girls - not having been exposed to all these pamperings by their Mommy, may grow up thinking that they can get all the massages they need from the OSIM massager, and that the Cli**que 3-Step routine would suffice as a facial thingy. Hehehe!

And you're right - once in a while when we splurge ourselves on all the pamperings in the world, Ayah would not object, and he would gladly pay for everything :)

As for the marriage proposal, aiiyyaaaaa...even if I were to say "No" pun, he would have taken it as a "Yes"! No other answers allowed. Hahaha!!

Take care, dear, and all the best in Canada!

wanshana said...

Dear scarred soul,

Thank you for hopping by. It's a pleasure to have you here :)

I hopped by your blog this morning, and I would like to say, "Welcome to Blogworld!!" (I'm assuming that you didn't/don't have an earlier blog before this?)

And I have to say that your postings are very intriguing indeed...short and mysterious, and they make me want to read more :)

My sequels - hmmmmm...tengah cari "inspirasi", or rather - "mood". But, don't worry, it's definitely coming :)

Take care!

HANNA :D said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"Will you marry me?"

Who asks that in between laughs? -_-
For all you know he could've said "Have you seen Mary?" or something ;p
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

:)

Much love,
-hannasuhailahaizal-

wanshana said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hmmm...you might be right, Hanna.

Aaahhhh, don't care lorr! Already married. Got you, Hasya and Hilman some more! Hahaha!

Mmmmuuuaahhh!