Makcik confused... :)

Hasya is upset that she's not in the same 4x100m Team that won 1st place in last year's SSP's Sports Day. She said the team has been split into two now. So, there'll be two teams representing Green House this year, and she said she she's very sure that neither team would win the top three placings!

I asked her the reasons why the Green House teacher had split the team knowing that they would have a very strong chance to win 1st place again this year? And she said, "EXACTLY! That's why!! I don't know!!!"

And she was quite visibly upset about the whole thing.

Well, what do you expect from choleric Hasya, kan? She always wants to win!

And I was upset for her, too, knowing her capabilities. And knowing that she and her original team would win, given the chance, insya Allah.

But, on the other hand, I had this bit of conversation with Hilman.

Hilman : Mommy, I'll be running in the 200m event for the Sports Day!

Me : Wow! Congratulations! Well done! Have you practised for it? Do you think you can win?

(Frankly speaking, I was a bit surprised because Hilman is more of the Lontar Peluru and Tarik Tali type of athlete. You know what I mean? Hehehe!:)

Hilman : I don't know. I fell down while practising, and got second last.

Me : It's okay. Nanti masa Sports Day, you have to run REALLY fast and be careful not to fall, okay?

Hilman : Okay. But, I always got second last bila practise la, Mommy. Even before Puan Anuradha chose me. I don't know why she chose me la?

And at this point, Hasya butted in and said -

Hasya : Teacher said she wants to give everybody a chance to participate masa Sports Day!

Hilman : I guess so. But, Mommy, how can I make sure I run fast and win the race, Mommy?

Me : Hilman, just run to the finishing line. Run as fast as you can, okay?

Hilman : Okay, but, I think I'm going to get No. 7 or No. 8 again.

Me : It's okay, Hilman. Just run. Who knows? On that day you can win with me cheering you on?

And Hilman just laughed away at that thought! :)

Hilman : It's okay lah, Mommy. But, if I don't win, tak per, right?

Me : It's okay, Hilman. As long as you try your best, okay?

Well, Hilman is a phlegmatic boy, and very laid back about everything anyway :)

And I'm happy for him, because I know he would try his level best, and he would enjoy the experience of running for his Green House, insya Allah :)

I feel bad for Hasya, but, I feel happy for Hilman.

In other words, I am bit confused really - on how I should feel between the decisions made by the Green House teachers on the 4x100m event AND the 200m event because BOTH involved my kids, but both with probably different implications on and outcomes for them...

Anyway, let's just wait for Saturday next week, shall we? That's when their Sports Day will be held ;)

All the best Chimin and Chiman!! :)

And just remember to have fun, okay?

No visuals! No audio! Please!!!

Please, I hope nobody will be offended by me writing this. Just to share :)

Ayah and I are quite open when it comes to showing our affections to each other in front of the kids. But, of course within limits lah, kan? Hehehe...And of course, when we're at home lah kan? :)

Just the normal hugs, a peck on the cheeks, a brushing kiss on the lips, etc. You know, the usual normal things which you would do naturally, without having to think about it to do it. On reflex.

The kids are so used to these as we've been doing this sejak azali lagi. And I guess they see it as a normal thing for their Ayah and Mommy to do this, and also for other married couples to do the same.

Some may not agree with me, but, I do believe that it is okay for kids to see their Moms and Dads show their love openly, as this exudes warmth, love, respect and happiness in the family which I think is very important for their growth and development. Happy thoughts in children really can do wonders, especially to their psychological development which will determine how well these kids will do in life later.

But, we don't really see this as a norm in our society. Which is a shame.

Anyway, yesterday was just like any other day, except that Ayah came back earlier than usual. Hasya was in the living room with me then. I greeted Ayah at the door when he came in. We hugged, and we kissed lightly before walking to the sofa.

Hasya, who all those time was sitting on the sofa and observing us, suddenly said -

"Ohhh, Mommy!! Ayah!! Please...NO VISUALS, please!! NO VISUALS! And NO AUDIO, too, please!!!"

Ayah and I just looked at each other, trying to figure out what it was that she was talking about, and realizing that she was referring to the light kiss we had earlier, both Ayah and I just had to gelak besar after that!

What?! No visuals?!! No audio??!! What??!

Why the sudden change in her reaction to all the "openness" thingy, ya? (Have to ask her about this nanti!)

And of course, Ayah responded by hugging (or rather - squeezing her) and giving her a big kiss on her cheeks - with AUDIO set at full volume!

"MMMMUUUAAAAAAHHHSSS!!!"

Much to Hasya's annoyance, of course!


LOL!!!

:)

Is it hard being a Mom...?

This has been the longest hiatus this blog has gone into, and I guess a few friends were beginning to get worried by my long silence.

Ibu left a comment on my FB - "What happened to you? Sonyap jo..."

Bella SMSd me yesterday - "...Lama tak nampak u update. I hope all is well..."

And even Ayah has been asking me a few times - "You've not updated your blog?"

Thank you for your concerns, my dear friends and hubby :)

I am fine, syukur alhamdulillah. Just that life (if it wasn't already hectic before) had been MORE hectic in the last few weeks.

For a start, the Uni's new Academic Year started early this month, and we had been busy briefing new students as to what the Department has to offer, etc. Instead of the usual congregation of all the new students at the Faculty's biggest Lecture Hall where all the departments take turns to brief the newbies, this year, due to the H1N1 threat, the freshies were not allowed to go to the main campus, and instead we had to go to all the residential colleges for the briefings. So, you can just imagine giving the same presentation over and over again, but to different sets of students? Aiyoooo...mentally exhausting, I tell you. Even though I was not doing the talk myself, going to the residential colleges, and listening to all the briefings itself was quite draining.

And of course, when class started, yours truly had to organize the tutorial groups, etc. And it didn't help when you've come up with the list of students for each group, and allocated the Tutorial topics for each of them, but, every couple of days, a few would come to you and inform that they either just joined the group, or that they had just dropped the course, and you would have to RE-ORGANIZE and RE-ALLOCATE the Topics all over again. And that went on until end of last week. Thank God, I only have a total of 76 students this Semester...

And the kids were ever so busy with all the activities Tok Nenek under the sun, kan? The last 4-5 weekends had not been true weekends for us because of that. I found myself driving the kids here and there for all their extra lessons and social activities throughout most of the Saturdays and Sundays.

And it didn't help when both Hasya and Hilman fell sick at the end of last week.

It started off with Hilman having a bad cough on Thursday, and I had to bring him to see Dr. Mu*a on Friday. He had to go on the nebulizer, and was prescibed with Tussidex, Prednisolone and of course his 4-hourly Ventolin puffs. Thank God, he was not having any temperature.

Come Sunday morning, his cough was not getting better, and Hasya was starting to have flu-like symptoms, and by Sunday evening her temperature went up to 38.4, and she had started coughing, too!

Monday morning, I had to bring both the kids to see Dr. Mu*a again. Hilman had to go on the nebulizer again, and Hasya was asked to take the 4-hourly Ventolin puffs, too, together with Tussidex cough syrup. She was also given a course of antibiotics (Augmentin), but ONLY to be taken if her fever didn't subside by the third day.

Monday night - her temperature was hovering above 38.4 throughout the night, and I was up almost half of the night, waking up every hour or so, checking on her, and spongeing her down. At one point, her temperature shot up to 39.7! We decided to just start her on the Augmentin and not wait for another 2 days.

I had classes until 6p.m on Tuesday, but, Hasya was keeping me in the loop on her temperature. She would call me every hour to give me an update of the thermometer reading. The Augmentin must have helped, as she recorded temperatures of between 37.3 to 37.6 through the day. BUT, Hilman's cough, on the other hand, was NOT getting better at all. In fact it was getting worse. His cough sounded so hollow and so coarse, and I could just feel how soar his throat was just by listening to his coughs!

Wednesday morning, Hasya's temperature went up to 38.1, and I decided to bring them to see Dr. Mu*a again. That was the third visit within 6 days. Those who are familiar with Dr. Mu*a's clinic would know that every visit would mean that half of your day would be gone. However, Dr. Mu*a, upon seeing us in his waiting room, immediately asked us to go to his room - no need to ikut nombor. He was quite happy with Hasya's progress - even though her temperature had not gone down to the normal level, she was getting better and was advised to just continue with whatever medications she was on.

However, after checking Hilman, he ordered for an X-Ray to be done on him, and lo and behold, it showed that Hilman had a lung infection and he was immediately put on a course of Klacid antibiotics.

Both kids were given MC until today.

So, you guys, the last one week had been quite a stressful time for me. What with the lack of sleep, my Florence Nightingale shifts, the running around, the start of my Lectures and Tutorial classes, and the rest of the unsettled stuff at the office. And it didn't help when I was getting the constant, "Are you going to work today, Mommy?!" or "What time are you coming back today, Mommy", or "Do you HAVE to go to the office today, Mommy?"!, either to my face or through the phone. And I was putting on my remote control mode from the office and kept on calling home to make sure the kids were getting their medications on time, and also to make sure that Dar was in fact giving them the RIGHT medication at the right time. And with them being sick and all, eating out or even tapau-ing food from outside would be a BIG No-No! So, that meant I had been doing the cooking myself for the last week or so, too.

It didn't help that we also had some problems with the piping of our nextdoor neighbour's aircond which led to quite a bad leakage in our Master bedroom and onto the plaster ceiling and wall of our living room. And Ayah had also been pretty busy at work in the last month or so, and have been coming back late most nights. But, being busy at the hospital is good for Ayah nowadays, so, I can't complain, can I?

Anyway, it must have shown on my face - the strain, because, while I was driving the kids home from the hospital that day, Hilman asked me what my schedule was after sending them home. Hasya was, by that time, already asleep on the backseat of the car. And I lined up my plans for the day, and said to him -

"First, I have to go back to the office as I have yet to clock in for the day, and I have to settle a few matters at work. Then, I'll be meeting Ayah for lunch. Then, I would be going back to the office to do some work. Then, I would be fetching Kak Long from school at 5:30p.m. Then, I would be sending Kak Long to Wan's house, where she would get ready for her piano lesson. Then, I would be sending Kak Long to her piano lesson, and I would wait for her to finish. (Hasya and Hilman were supposed to have their piano lessons at the same time, too, but this week they're excused) Then, I would be sending Qa*sa*a (his cousin) back to Wan's house (she also goes for piano lessons at the same place and time as the kids) And THEN only I would be making my way home to SD with Kak Long, and cook dinner for you and your sisters".

I said all that to him without a pause.

And after all that, Hilman looked at me and said,

"Is it hard being a Mom, Mommy?"

And suddenly I felt a lump in my throat, and my eyes were getting blurred by the tears welling up in them when all the built-up strain and stress seemed to be rushing in and hit the core of me in those few moments...

I was trying to compose myself, and after a few seconds, I said to him -

"Yes, It IS hard sometimes, Hilman, to be a Mom. But, you know what? I wouldn't change it for the world...NOT EVER."

And with that, all the stress and strain that I was feeling throughout the week, just evaporated away as I held his hand in mine throughout the rest of the journey back to SD...

Steam is coming out of my ears...

It is STILL the time of the month, and because of that the younger kids got a mega punishment from me today for being so irresponsible. And I feel they deserve it.

It has been a LOOONNGGG day for me. I was at a meeting which lasted from 9:30a.m until 5:30p.m, with only our lunch break as a breather. Going to the meeting meant that I had to cancel all my classes scheduled for today, which in turn means that I have to reschedule them to another day, which means I would have to double up my classes one of these days. And, it doesn't help when New Year also fell on Thursday last week. I also have to reschedule ALL the classes I missed last week, too! And it is not easy to find a time which ALL the students would be free to attend all the replacement classes.

The outcome of today's meeting also means that my colleagues and I would have to sit down (AGAIN!) to work on some corrections and amendments to some documents which we had been working on for the last one year! And it doesn't help, too, that I've also been given an urgent dateline to meet by the end of May this year for a MAJOR MAJOR piece of work even when my initial proposal was to finish the work by the end of July this year.

I really had A LOT on my mind today...

Anyway, I had to go back to my office to get my stuff and tie up a few things after the meeting. I left the office just after 6p.m., already feeling like a kain buruk, and reached Mak's house at 6:25p.m. Hasya and Hilman are having their mengaji session here tonight, and so, we're having dinner here.

The first thing that I did when I saw Hilman was to ask him if he managed to get his seluar sukan from the school shop today. I had given him RM20 to buy the seluar and RM2 for his duit belanja today. And he told me that the shop didn't have any stock for the seluar sukan. Not wanting him to lose the money I gave him, I asked for the RM20 back for safe-keeping, because just the other day, Hasya LOST the RM20 I gave her to get HER seluar sukan. Apparently, she said she brought the money back and left it on our bed in PJ, and forgot all about it when we went back to SD that night. And the next day, the money was gone. According to her lah.

I was still okay with it, and told myself that she might have misplaced the RM20, and that she must have put it somewhere else but had forgotten where exactly she had kept it. One of these days, the money might just re-appear (?!). Anyway, giving her the benefit of the doubt, I gave her another RM20 today for her to get her seluar sukan.

So, not wanting Hilman to lose HIS RM20, too, I asked him to give it back to me. He took a piece of RM10 note out of his pocket, and gave it to me. And I asked him, "Where's the other RM10, Hilman?". And the reply was, "I dunno...I thought you only gave me RM10".

My kepala dah start panas dah...

"What do you mean? I gave you RM22 just before I went to work this morning. RM20 for your seluar, and RM2 for belanja. Where's the other RM10?!"

Telinga I dah merah dah ni...

And he came up with, "Uh...I dunno, Mommy. I put all the money you gave me on the dressing table this morning, and took everything when I went to school this afternoon".

Pantang tok nenek I when I asked the kids anything, and they come up with all sorts of "I dunno's"!

Dada dah makin berdegup kencang dah masa ni, and I could feel my blood rushing up to my face...

"Where....is...the...RM10?" - teeth already grinding...

Realizing that I was VERY upset with him, Hilman kept quiet and just looked at me, and I stared back at him before I turned to Hasya, and asked,

"Hasya did YOU manage to get your seluar sukan with the RM20 which I gave you to ganti duit semalam?", and she said, "No, they didn't have any stock this morning, too."

"Okay, then, where's the RM20?"

And she took all the notes from her school bag, and gave me all RM20 - all crumpled.

(Asap dah keluar kot hidung I dah masa tu...)

And I looked at Hilman, and repeated my question, "Where's the other RM10, Hilman?"

And he kept quiet.

"I don't care, I want both of you to find the money you lost! Hilman you'd better find the RM10 now. Hasya, you'd better find the RM20 you lost the other day. NOW! I don't care! NOW!!!"

So, because Hilman lost the RM10 today, Hasya who got away with losing the RM20 hari tu, ALSO has to face my wraths this evening.

And both of them got a mighty flick on their ears.

And I started berleter - "That's the problem with you guys. You never appreciate money. You do not value duit sebab senang nak dapat. Anything you want, you can get. You don't know how to take care of your own money!! You never take responsibility for your money!!! (and yadda, yadda, yadda...bla bla bla...)

"Don't you DARE ask Mommy for anymore money for your seluar sukan. I don't care - both of you just have to wear your old seluar sukan. I don't care if dah senteng ke, or dah koyak, etc. YOU WEAR THEM! UNDERSTAND?! And no TV or Naruto or PSP or PS2 or DVD the WHOLE of this weekend. Until Sunday. Paham??! In fact, your punishment starts tonight! And you guys are NOT getting any new story books for the next 2 weeks! PAHAM???!!! And tomorrow, you two are NOT getting any duit belanja from me! You have your lunch at home, and bring your bekal air to school. PAHAAMMM??!! (They'll only be in school for 4 hours tomorrow anyway...)

And they both just nodded and looked at me.

And they got another mighty flick on their ears, before they continued to search for the money.

And after laying down all their punishment for not valueing the money we gave them, Hanna came into the room, and asked, "What are you looking for?" (when she saw her adik-adik terkedek-kedek searching for the money from under the bed, etc.)

And I said, "The money they lost!"

And Hanna said, "Ooohh, Aunty Adek found RM10 under the sofa this afternoon, and she gave it to Wan!"

And Hilman looked at me, and said, "That must be mine!"

Mata I dah terjegil at him.

And I said, "I DON'T CARE IF IT WAS YOURS OR NOT!!! THE POINT IS - YOU LOST IT!!! YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHERE THE MONEY WAS JUST NOW!!"

"THE PUNISHMENT STILL STANDS!!! PAHAAAMMM???!!!"

And they looked at me again and nodded their head.

And as I'm typing this, Hasya is still trying to find her RM20. And I'm only letting her rest when Ustadz comes at 8:30p.m nanti.

Both of them could not have picked a worse day than today to ruffle my feathers the wrong way...

So you see, guys...There ARE days when I fail to see the glass as half full. There ARE days when I fail to tell myself that there are others who have bigger problems and heavier burden than me. And even though such a day may come far and few in between, they sometimes do come nevertheless (especially when it's that time of the month!) And today was such a day.

Maybe this is REALLY bad parenting on my part. But, I know they'd think twice about not taking care of their money properly from now on, Insya Allah.

Pushing them to their (own) limits...

I reached the office at 7:32a.m this morning and it's now 9:48a.m.

And I'm feeling REALLY sleepy. Had a mug of very strong coffee just now, AND a packet of nasi lemak with kerang. I think the latter has overpowered my coffee. Time for a short break now.

As Ayah is away in Bangkok, I'm Hanna's supir for the next few days, meaning I had to leave the house at 6:45am this morning, so that she would be in school latest by 7:10a.m! I don't know about your kids, but for Hanna, it's such a sin to reach her school after 7:15a.m (and her school only starts at 7:35a.m, mind you!). It's the same with Hasya, who gets panicky if she were to reach school after 12:45p.m (and her school only starts at 1:10p.m!) Is it a GIRL thing or what?! Because it's not the same with Hilman - he's always oblivious of the time. It doesn't matter when he reaches his school, as long as he reaches his school. Simple.

After sending Hanna, I had to go to my MIL's to send Hasya's and Hilman's school uniforms, etc. Both of them spent the night at their Wan's. They had their mengaji class there last night, and as I knew we would have to leave the house very early this morning, and as such they would be deprived of their beauty sleep, I asked them to sleep with their Wan last night, to which they gladly agreed :). They were still asleep when I went to Mak's this morning, so, I decided to come to office early. And now I'm very sleepy...

Anyway, Hasya and Hilman had their Open Day last Thursday, and both Ayah and I went to see their teachers to discuss their progress in school and also to collect their Report Cards. And we had a very pleasant surprise that day, but at the same time, we felt quite bad...

We already knew that Hasya got No. 1 in her class. It was expected, in a way. Hasya is a choleric girl and very confident, and she knows what she wants. She has always got No. 1 (except once - and she was pretty upset then as she didn't like the feeling of being second best). And she always knows who her competition in her class would be, and she would make sure that she beats them, even without us prodding or pushing her. So, Ayah and I would just give her our encouragement all the way. She thrives on challenges.

This time around, her competition is a boy named I**an I**andar. They had never been in the same class before, and I**an had always got No. 1 in his class all these while, too. And Ayah and I were aware of this fact as we would always see him going on stage every year during Speech Days, etc. And when we knew that Hasya would be in the same class as I**ran this year, we always remind Hasya that she has to work harder to make sure that she stays on top. Hasya being Hasya, she does not need us to tell her that. She knows she HAS to do it.

And us being kiasu parents, after the exams, every time we fetch the kids from school, we would ask her what her marks were. And the next question would be, "What about I**an?" (Hehehe!) And we were not surprised when we found out that Hasya actually kept a record of every single marks that I**an got! There was a panic bout for a couple of days for Hasya, when I**an got 100% for his Maths, and Hasya got 93.5%, and for a few days, I**an was leading by 0.5 markah! And finally, when the marks came for Science, and Hasya got highest in her class, it was official - she beat I**an by 2.5 markah... And we didn't even have to ask her about it when we fetched her from school that day. She told us right after opening the car door, even before she got into the car! Hehehe...That's choleric Hasya for you.

As for Hilman, now...he's one very phlegmatic boy. He does his own thing, and most of the time, he would be oblivious of what's happening around him. And most of the times, he doesn't even know that a test or an exam is around the corner, or even what subjects he would be tested on the next day, etc! But, despite all that, last year he got No. 12 for his Mid-year, and for his Final Exams he got No.5 (and he was the best student for Science for his class).

Knowing our kids' traits and personality, we tend to treat them differently in terms of pushing them to their own limits. And we know what would work for each of them based on their characters and personality. And it is difficult to balance when we have 3 kids with 3 different personalities - one choleric, one phlegmatic and one sanguine (I wrote about this here)

So, for Hilman we didn't really push him that hard, but we know that he's a very smart boy. What works for Hasya may not necessarily work for Hilman. Yes, we prepare them the same way - no discrimination whatsoever in that department. Ayah would come up with the mock papers for Science and Maths for both of them before the exams, and I would come up with the mock papers for BM and English for the both of them. We would give them the same encouragement and love and hugs and kisses and good luck wishes every single day. But, we would push Hasya a bit more, as we know that she thrives on pressure and challenges. For Hilman, we would just ask him to do his very best, and avoid making careless mistakes, and check his work thoroughly. And there was no point to ask him to keep record of his "competition" in class, as he wouldn't even know who they are! That's phlegmatic Hilman for you.

But, we had some ideas as to who MIGHT be his competition when he would come back telling us what his friends got for their exams. Different names for different subjects - so it was difficult to assess from a variable of samples. But, we had some ideas. The first few days after getting some of his marks, Ayah and I had a feeling that he could be in the Top 5. And when he got all his marks, we thought that he could be in the Top 3. And Hilman, knowing that the standard question I would ask him EVERYDAY would be, "Have you got your position in class yet?", he would be asking his teacher the same question, "Cikgu, saya dapat nombor berapa, cikgu?", and the teacher would reply, "Tunggu lah... surprise..."

And it was indeed a pleasant surprise for us, when we went to see his teacher last Thursday, and we got to know that Hilman got No. 1, too!

Hilman's teacher told us that Hilman takes his own sweet time to finish his work. When the rest of his classmates have finished 3 pages of work, Hilman would still be working on his first page. And he's forever sharpening his pencils and/or looking for his lost stationeries in class! And he's always dreaming! Otherwise, he's a very good student. In fact, his teacher told us that she was surprised with Hilman's results, too, given his laid-back nature and attitude! (And he got highest for Science and Maths, too :))

And Ayah and I felt quite bad - for not having high expectations of Hilman, or rather, for under-estimating his capabilities. We KNOW he's one of the smarter ones at school, but we were prepared if he didn't get No. 1. But, for Hasya - because SHE wants to be No. 1, we make sure she gets the push that she needs to get it. THAT's the only way we know how to treat the two of them when it comes to pushing to the limits. THEIR limits. THEIR own expectations. Are we being unfair? Ayah and I kept on going and going about this for a few days last week. And it wasn't a nice feeling to have. Sigh...

And as for Hanna, we know from her UPSR and monthly tests results, that insya Allah, we don't really have to worry about her. And she would come back from school and tell us her results without us asking her. She would normally get second to fourth highest in class for her subjects, and given that she's in one of the better/cluster schools around, we think she's doing quite well, indeed. But, being a sanguine that she is, she would blab non-stop (in a good way) as to how close she was to beating XYZ or ABC in this subject, or that subject, and how unfair it is that they take Pengetahuan Agama Islam and Moral into account to determine their position in class (as the Moral students rata-rata dapat A, while the Agama students rata-rata dapat B, etc.), yadda, yadda, yadda...

Hanna has her own way of studying, and it seems to be working with her, and I don't want to change that. She studies with her WalkMan glued to her ears (and she would do some head-banging every now and then while studying!), and she does her homework and assignment, etc in her own time (sometimes after midnight as THAT's the ONLY time she has the mood to do them!) without having me to remind her. And I have to say, she follows her Ayah - she's very good in Maths and Science, but she's struggling a bit with her reading subjects. All in all, even though she's a sanguine, she's a responsible girl when it comes to her studies. And unlike with Hasya and Hilman, I would just monitor Hanna - without pushing, without reminding, without cautioning.

And I was pleased when I went to Hanna's Open Day yesterday, when I got to know that she got No.6! But, according to her, if Agama and Moral were not included, she would have gotten No.4! But, I just want her to realize that the girls who got Top 3 in her class are those who sat for the SAME Agama paper as her. So, I think that is not an issue here? Anyway, it's just a position in your class. Mommy and Ayah are very proud with all the A's (and couple of B's) that you got, okay? You should know which subjects you need to stress on more by now, right?

And maybe, slightly less head-banging would also do the trick? ;)

Syukur Alhamdulillah. Ayah and Mommy are VERY PROUD of you all - Hanna, Hasya and Hilman. Keep up the excellent work, darlings.

We just hope we're using the right (different) approaches to each and every one of you in pushing you all to the limits when it comes to your studies/exams, etc....

YOU RAWWWWWKKKK!!!

Parenting is not a simple and straightforward thingy.

You learn through trial and error, and pray very, very hard in between.

But, more often than not, the love that we have for our kids will guide us through it all, insya Allah.

There are so many parenting tips that we get everyday, be it from well-intent friends and relatives, or from all the parenting books out there - books that we have to pay for unnecessarily sometimes.

Out of all the tips given to us parents, there are some which Ayah and I truly believe in. Two of which are :-

(1) You should always try to reward your kids for their achievements, and the reward should be something that your kids really appreciate or yearn for, so that they will feel that all their hard work and efforts were all worth it, and the reward will act as an incentive for them to strive harder and do better next time.

AND

(2) In order for you to understand your kids better, you should try to understand the stuff that they like, and try to think the way they do, and sometimes you should engage in activities that your kids are into.

And tonight - Ayah scored full marks for both of the above.

Just as I am typing this, Ayah and Hanna are at Stadium Merdeka watching the MCR Concert.

For those who do not have any teenage kids, and so probably would not have heard, and would not know what "MCR" is, it stands for -

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

YUP!!! Ayah is at a Rock concert with Hanna!

Some of you might not agree with all these, but, oh well...

Hanna had been dropping hints for the last month or so about the concert and the possibility of her going with her friends (and their above-18 siblings, etc), but Ayah and I were not sure if we should let her go. Hanna had been asking and asking and asking and asking about it - that she sounded like a broken tape-recorder and she was starting to get on our nerves. Even though she did not sulk and was quite okay with it when we didn't say "Yes", we knew that she was disappointed.

We have been dilly-dallying about it, and finally we decided that this would be the reward for Hanna for getting all A's for her UPSR. The Concert was something that she REALLY wanted to go to.

Ayah managed to get 3 tickets, but, as I have been and still am bogged down with work, I decided not to join at the eleventh hour, and so Aunty Adek (my SIL) is now shouting and screaming herself hoarse in my place at Stadium Merdeka right this second.

What better way for a father to understand his daughter's taste in music than going to a concert with her, eh?!

Hanna, dear...You might think that it's NOT cool to go to a rock concert with your Ayah now...but, you will look back to tonight when you're older and I'm sure you will then agree with me when I say that your Ayah RAAAAAAWWWWWWKKKKKKK BIG TIME!!

And you should really appreciate and be grateful that for the love of his anak perempuan sulung yang sorang ni, your Ayah sanggup chaperone you to the MCR Concert tonight...

I hope you know just how much he loves you, dear...

P/S : Just for the record - I only went to my first Rock Concert when I was 21 years old, okay? It was BON JOVI... The venue - Wembley Arena. The feeling - AWESOME...

It's the time of the year...

It's the time of the year when you fetch the kids from school, and the first thing you would ask them would be, "Did you get any results yet for your exams?"

If the answer is "Yes", and after you've been fed with all the marks they get that day, the next question would be, "Did anybody get more marks than you?"

If the answer is "Yes", the next line of questioning would be, "Who?", followed by - "How many more marks did he/she get than you?"

And you expect your kids to know the marks of EVERYBODY in the class, okay?! So that when you get back home, you could take out your little calculator, draw out a few nice columns with the names of your kids' competitors in his/her class in one column, and the marks that they get for each subject in the other columns.

But, of course, more often than not, your kids couldn't care less about the other kids' marks, and this would mean that you would be kept hanging in suspense, because you could not gauge how well (or badly) your kids have fared compared to the rest of their classmates without the full data to analyse maaa!!!

So, for the next couple of weeks, the standard first question you would ask when you fetch them from school would be, "So, have your teachers told you your position in class yet?" (while trying your very best to appear as if it didn't matter if the reply to the question was "No", when in fact you would be fuming mad while trying to comprehend WHY the teachers are taking such a looooong time to work out the kids' position in class!)

And finally, when the kids were given their position in class for their final exams, and if they get Top 3 and/or highest in any of the subjects in their class, the next question would be, "So, when is your "Hari Anugerah Kecemerlangan"? - so that you could block the whole of that day to attend it and later maybe celebrate somewhere.

So far for us, it's 2 down, 1 more to go.

Hasya got 1st in her class, and top for English and Bahasa Malaysia. Syukur Alhamdulillah... She has always got 1st, except in the last exam when she got 2nd placing (which we think was due to her rigorous and traumatic rhythmic gymnastics training that she was going through earlier this year)

Hanna got 5th in her class, an improvement from her 6th position in the last exam (and her marks are much, much higher. Syukur Alhadulillah... So now we're just waiting for her UPSR results which will come out middle of next month... (and I'm already having cold sweats now...)

We are now waiting with bated breaths for Hilman's position in class. He got number 12 in the last exam (despite getting over 95% for 3 of the core subjects!). His marks this time have also improved, but of course, his friends might have also improved a lot, too!

Okay, okay....I confess - I AM A KIASU PARENT!!!!

There... satisfied?!

Now, don't tell me you guys don't do the same things?!

Errrrr...... you guys DON'T do these things?

Oooooopss..... Wowww...


30 October 2007

Latest update - Hilman got No. 5 for his final exam - that's a climb of 7 places. Yayyyy!!! AND he will go on stage (as will Hasya) on 13 November for Hari Anugerah Kecemerlangan for being the best student for Science in his class! Hmmmm... He definitely got it from Ayah. Science and myself - we never see eye to eye...Hehehe!

I am so happy and very proud of all three of them :D!

An outing that was...

We took the kids skating at Sunway Pyramid yesterday.

The plan was (if you could call it a "plan" that is) - that we would send Hanna and a friend to join four other friends there, and one of her friends' parents would be there to accompany them, and Ayah, Hasya, Hilman and I would just do some (window) shopping for a couple of hours before fetching Hanna and her friends and send them to one of the friends' house where they would stay on for dinner (I know...it's pretty confusing - so many friends maaa!)

THAT was THE plan.

But, this was what actually happened.

When we reached Sunway Pyramid, the friend whose parent was supposed to accompany the kids was not there yet, and we waited a while. As luck had it, the ice rink was being resurfaced and everybody had to wait for half an hour before they could go in and skate. Half an hour gone. We noticed all of her friends who were supposed to join the skating session were there - but...no parents around.

Apparently, Hanna told the friend concerned that Ayah and I were there, so THE parent concerned just dropped her daughter and left! You would have thought that after what happened to Nurin Jazlin, parents would be more alert and cautious, wouldn't you? Apparently NOT. None of the parents made any efforts to call Ayah and I to make sure their kids would be under adults supervision.

What if the girls were making up stories that there would be adults around, when there were none? What if the girls wander off somewhere, instead of spending the time skating at Sunway Pyramid? What if there were perverts around preying for their next victim(s)? Nauzubillah.... I just cringed to think of all the possibilities...

Honestly, we don't mind keeping an eye on the kids IF somebody were to tell or ask us to be there and supervise them. We wouldn't have minded to keep an eye on the kids IF it the outing was properly planned and organized, and we were tasked to be there for 4 hours in the first place, or if we were to take turns with another parent to supervise the kids. No problemo.

But, apparently, Hanna and her friends had planned the outing on their own, and they took it for granted that ONE of their parents would be there throughout their skating outing. And, it just so happened that we were there.

We had no choice, but to stay on. And Hasya and Hilman joined their big sister and her gang gliding on the ice (well...in Hilman's case, it was more like "walking" on ice... Hehehe!). We were quite surprised that both Hasya and Hilman took the whole thing like duck to water (or is it "penguin to ice"?), being first-timers on the ice. Of course, Hilman probably fell down more than 20 times maybe? Hasya, being a gymnast that she is, she was quite poised, even though she also had her fair share of falling down flat on her b**t. But, they were okay with the whole thing. They didn't cry, they just laughed it off. They had fun. Hanna was quite good at it as she had gone ice-skating before.

When Ayah left for Solat Jumaat at 12:45p.m, I was left alone to look after the kids. They were resurfacing the rink again, and the kids took a 30-minute lunch break while waiting for the rink to be re-opened. Another friend joined the party at 2:15p.m - this time around, the mother called to speak to me to make sure that there would be adults around. Hmmm...there's still hope. There are still responsible and cautious parents out there, I thought to myself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Ayah and I are perfect parents. Far from it. But, come on laaa... All these are basic parenting know-hows, and sheer common sense. It's called p-a-r-e-n-t-a-l r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-i-l-i-t-i-e-s. What happened before this should stay in the past. We could not change what was in the past, but we should have learnt our lesson. If we used to be quite laxed with our kids whereabouts before the Nurin Tragedy, we should have a different attitude now.

The outing which was supposed to end at 3:00p.m, dragged on until 4:00p.m because one of the girls' driver could only come and fetch her at 4:00p.m. So, all of us had to wait to make sure that she would be safe and sound in the car before we were to make our way home. 4:15p.m - still no driver in sight. 4:20p.m, the friend got a call. The driver was waiting for her in front of OUR house in SD! Somewhere somehow there was a miscommunication, or rather, everything was not clearly planned. We had to make arrangements for the driver to fetch the girl at Hanna's friend's house in Section 11.

By this time Ayah and I were starting to lose our patience. Ayah especially, as he had his clinic to go to at 5:00p.m! We were supposed to be there only from 12:00 p.m until 3:00 p.m, and the girls were still dilly-dallying behind us. We hurried everybody back to the car, and drove them to Hanna's friend's house in Section 11, PJ. We dropped everybody there - EXCEPT Hanna. We decided that because the outing was not properly planned, and because she had taken both Ayah and I for granted the whole time, she would not be joining her friends for dinner at Section 11.

Hanna, everything said and done, we did all these because we love you VERY much, and we want you to learn a valuable lesson in respecting us, and also to be more responsible. Mommy knows that it may not be your fault totally that the outing was poorly planned, BUT, Mommy and Ayah care about you, and we want YOU to appreciate that, okay?

Anyway, we went back to Mak's house in PJ, and Ayah went straight to the hospital after Solat A'sar. Mak had invited a few friends and relatives for a Raya Dinner at her place, and as yesterday was our final day for Puasa Enam, we decided to celebrate it with a feast in PJ (having said that, Ayah only managed to join us at 8:15p.m as his clinic only ended at 8:00p.m last night!).

And what a feast it was - Mak had ordered Nasi Dagang with Gulai Ikan Tongkol, Ayam Percik and Jelatah, Sambal Tumis Udang, Daging Dendeng, Egg Salad, and what do you call that Jawa dish - with veges, tofu, tempe, soohoon tu? She also ordered the famous Sate Sa**ri Kajang (from Uptown, by the way...), and of course, complete with Mak's bibik's yummylicious Sambal Belacan and Ulam Timun... Yummy! Yummy! Yummy... (All weight lost in Ramadhan, gained again last night! Whatever....Hahaha!)

We reached SD just before midnight. Eventhough Hanna had apologised to both Ayah and I earlier, we decided that there will not be anymore outings with friends for her - until further notice. She knew she was at fault and she accepted the punishment willingly.

The moral of the story - just be with your kids ALL the time.

The moral of the story- kids will be kids, and you cannot trust them to be responsible and take responsibilities.

The moral of the story - kids will be kids, and they will always take us for granted - intentionally or unintentionally.

The moral of the story - you must be understanding enough to forgive them...but, you must also be strict enough to punish them...(because you can't be punishing other kids, can you?!) ;)

(And finally - if you want to have a really good feast, go eat at your parents' or in-laws' house...)

Wassalam.