Friday, July 24, 2009

Is it hard being a Mom...?

This has been the longest hiatus this blog has gone into, and I guess a few friends were beginning to get worried by my long silence.

Ibu left a comment on my FB - "What happened to you? Sonyap jo..."

Bella SMSd me yesterday - "...Lama tak nampak u update. I hope all is well..."

And even Ayah has been asking me a few times - "You've not updated your blog?"

Thank you for your concerns, my dear friends and hubby :)

I am fine, syukur alhamdulillah. Just that life (if it wasn't already hectic before) had been MORE hectic in the last few weeks.

For a start, the Uni's new Academic Year started early this month, and we had been busy briefing new students as to what the Department has to offer, etc. Instead of the usual congregation of all the new students at the Faculty's biggest Lecture Hall where all the departments take turns to brief the newbies, this year, due to the H1N1 threat, the freshies were not allowed to go to the main campus, and instead we had to go to all the residential colleges for the briefings. So, you can just imagine giving the same presentation over and over again, but to different sets of students? Aiyoooo...mentally exhausting, I tell you. Even though I was not doing the talk myself, going to the residential colleges, and listening to all the briefings itself was quite draining.

And of course, when class started, yours truly had to organize the tutorial groups, etc. And it didn't help when you've come up with the list of students for each group, and allocated the Tutorial topics for each of them, but, every couple of days, a few would come to you and inform that they either just joined the group, or that they had just dropped the course, and you would have to RE-ORGANIZE and RE-ALLOCATE the Topics all over again. And that went on until end of last week. Thank God, I only have a total of 76 students this Semester...

And the kids were ever so busy with all the activities Tok Nenek under the sun, kan? The last 4-5 weekends had not been true weekends for us because of that. I found myself driving the kids here and there for all their extra lessons and social activities throughout most of the Saturdays and Sundays.

And it didn't help when both Hasya and Hilman fell sick at the end of last week.

It started off with Hilman having a bad cough on Thursday, and I had to bring him to see Dr. Mu*a on Friday. He had to go on the nebulizer, and was prescibed with Tussidex, Prednisolone and of course his 4-hourly Ventolin puffs. Thank God, he was not having any temperature.

Come Sunday morning, his cough was not getting better, and Hasya was starting to have flu-like symptoms, and by Sunday evening her temperature went up to 38.4, and she had started coughing, too!

Monday morning, I had to bring both the kids to see Dr. Mu*a again. Hilman had to go on the nebulizer again, and Hasya was asked to take the 4-hourly Ventolin puffs, too, together with Tussidex cough syrup. She was also given a course of antibiotics (Augmentin), but ONLY to be taken if her fever didn't subside by the third day.

Monday night - her temperature was hovering above 38.4 throughout the night, and I was up almost half of the night, waking up every hour or so, checking on her, and spongeing her down. At one point, her temperature shot up to 39.7! We decided to just start her on the Augmentin and not wait for another 2 days.

I had classes until 6p.m on Tuesday, but, Hasya was keeping me in the loop on her temperature. She would call me every hour to give me an update of the thermometer reading. The Augmentin must have helped, as she recorded temperatures of between 37.3 to 37.6 through the day. BUT, Hilman's cough, on the other hand, was NOT getting better at all. In fact it was getting worse. His cough sounded so hollow and so coarse, and I could just feel how soar his throat was just by listening to his coughs!

Wednesday morning, Hasya's temperature went up to 38.1, and I decided to bring them to see Dr. Mu*a again. That was the third visit within 6 days. Those who are familiar with Dr. Mu*a's clinic would know that every visit would mean that half of your day would be gone. However, Dr. Mu*a, upon seeing us in his waiting room, immediately asked us to go to his room - no need to ikut nombor. He was quite happy with Hasya's progress - even though her temperature had not gone down to the normal level, she was getting better and was advised to just continue with whatever medications she was on.

However, after checking Hilman, he ordered for an X-Ray to be done on him, and lo and behold, it showed that Hilman had a lung infection and he was immediately put on a course of Klacid antibiotics.

Both kids were given MC until today.

So, you guys, the last one week had been quite a stressful time for me. What with the lack of sleep, my Florence Nightingale shifts, the running around, the start of my Lectures and Tutorial classes, and the rest of the unsettled stuff at the office. And it didn't help when I was getting the constant, "Are you going to work today, Mommy?!" or "What time are you coming back today, Mommy", or "Do you HAVE to go to the office today, Mommy?"!, either to my face or through the phone. And I was putting on my remote control mode from the office and kept on calling home to make sure the kids were getting their medications on time, and also to make sure that Dar was in fact giving them the RIGHT medication at the right time. And with them being sick and all, eating out or even tapau-ing food from outside would be a BIG No-No! So, that meant I had been doing the cooking myself for the last week or so, too.

It didn't help that we also had some problems with the piping of our nextdoor neighbour's aircond which led to quite a bad leakage in our Master bedroom and onto the plaster ceiling and wall of our living room. And Ayah had also been pretty busy at work in the last month or so, and have been coming back late most nights. But, being busy at the hospital is good for Ayah nowadays, so, I can't complain, can I?

Anyway, it must have shown on my face - the strain, because, while I was driving the kids home from the hospital that day, Hilman asked me what my schedule was after sending them home. Hasya was, by that time, already asleep on the backseat of the car. And I lined up my plans for the day, and said to him -

"First, I have to go back to the office as I have yet to clock in for the day, and I have to settle a few matters at work. Then, I'll be meeting Ayah for lunch. Then, I would be going back to the office to do some work. Then, I would be fetching Kak Long from school at 5:30p.m. Then, I would be sending Kak Long to Wan's house, where she would get ready for her piano lesson. Then, I would be sending Kak Long to her piano lesson, and I would wait for her to finish. (Hasya and Hilman were supposed to have their piano lessons at the same time, too, but this week they're excused) Then, I would be sending Qa*sa*a (his cousin) back to Wan's house (she also goes for piano lessons at the same place and time as the kids) And THEN only I would be making my way home to SD with Kak Long, and cook dinner for you and your sisters".

I said all that to him without a pause.

And after all that, Hilman looked at me and said,

"Is it hard being a Mom, Mommy?"

And suddenly I felt a lump in my throat, and my eyes were getting blurred by the tears welling up in them when all the built-up strain and stress seemed to be rushing in and hit the core of me in those few moments...

I was trying to compose myself, and after a few seconds, I said to him -

"Yes, It IS hard sometimes, Hilman, to be a Mom. But, you know what? I wouldn't change it for the world...NOT EVER."

And with that, all the stress and strain that I was feeling throughout the week, just evaporated away as I held his hand in mine throughout the rest of the journey back to SD...

30 comments:

ibu,mommy,mom... said...

I pun tertanya tanya how come you never post so long..
Hope everyone is in good health now.
Salam weekend

D.N.A.S said...

Oh, I feel you Kak Shana. My mom likes to remind me that all this hardship (while the kids are growing up) might trouble you now, but once they're independent and successful you won't even remember how difficult it used to be.
Now that's life satisfaction. 15 years from now you will look back and feel proud of all the things you've done for the children.

Kak Ezza@makcik Blogger said...

memang susah jadi ibu ni,tapi ini lah profesion yang paling mulia sekali..bila Hilman besar nanti jangan lupa membahagia kan ibu tau...

Shana,akak ,,,lepas ni jangan lupa berehat tau,,,kalau mommy yang sakit, sapa pulak nak jaga you....

Mior Azhar said...

Shana,
Reading your entry, I pulak rasa nak demam. Anyway, do take care. Memang penat jadi ibu but it's all worth it, right?

Naz said...

Shana,
I've not been updating mine either. Musim cuti sekolah ni you faham faham saja lah. The kids yang cuti, kita kerja macam biasa juga. Semua nak kena atur elok elok, otherwise porak peranda the whole summer, rumah pun entah entah boleh jadi kapal pecah, garden boleh tukar jadi rainforest, anak anak kebuluran bla bla bla. Then comes the entertainment bit @ marking the summer hols. Kalau nak fikir panjang panjang, memang boleh semput tahap kritikal.
But as you indicated here, at the end of the day bila dah tengok anak anak, being asked the core question/s...nothing seems to matter anymore. Only our kids :)
You're a good mom, Shana.

murni said...

salam,

hope hasya and hilman are okay now ...

wish i was back home and can take you out for teh tarik but all i can give is ... *hugs hugs hugs*

you ARE a wonderful mum ... wish i can be as good as you ...

take care always ...

:o)

Amy said...

Awwwwww.. you buat I nak nangis jugak. Macam my parents ni, I dah besar panjang ni pun my parents dok tolong monitor renovation, dok pi balik pi balik BJ and KJ since anak dia busy.. memang kasih sayang ibu dan bapa tu melebihi segalanya. Aduih tears dah start welling up ni,meh nak hugs Kak Shana.. u take care of yourself too ok?

wanshana said...

Salams ibu, mommy, mom...

Thank you, dear :) Both Hasya and Hilman are still on antibiotics. Hasya seems to be much better, but, Hilman's cough seems to be so liat to go away. Ada slight improvement ajer...

Will wait until he finishes the whole antibiotic course, and see if they work or not.

Have a great weekend.

wanshana said...

d.n.a.s,

Yes, insya Allah.

The thing is, it had never been an issue and I never fikir about all these, but, that day somehow suddenly macam penat sangat mentally and physically...

wanshana said...

Kak Ezza,

Betul tu...And bila kita jadi Mak ni, kita baru faham and tahu macam mana Mak kita dulu uruskan dan jaga kita. Dulu lagi teruk - mana ada maid, mana ada mesin basuh segala.

Selalaunya, kita lah yang paling last sekali nak jatuh sakit, kan? And kalau sakit pun, tak boleh nak rehat lama-lama sebab nanti lagi stress coz' kerja makin menimbun! :)

Enjoy your weekend, Kak Ezza :)

wanshana said...

Mior, thanks :)

Memang penat, but most of the time we don't really feel it.

One thing which Hilman asked me after that, "Which is harder - being a Mom or a Father?" And I said, "Both are hard".

And he said, "Because the father has to work and get money to support the wife, right?" (His exact words! Hehehe!

He thinks I don't get money when I work kot?! :) Dalam hati I, "Yes, Father has to get money to buy Coach handbags for the Mom... HAHAHA!!)

So, actually being a father and/or mother is hard. But, penatnya in different forms and ways.

Have a great weekend.

wanshana said...

Naz,

Thanks, dear :) I think all mothers try their best for their kids in whatever way termampu, kan? You're a good mom, too :)

I know how busy you've been! I've been following you on FB and dok tengok the photos, etc. Summer Hols are great, and we always look forward to it, kan? But, after a while, we'd ask, "Bila lah cuti ni nak habis??!!" Hahaha!

Have a great weekend!

wanshana said...

Dearest Murni,

Salams, and thank you :) You're a wonderful (and cool!) Mom, too :)

Waaaaa, that would be nice, kan? Teh tarik session to wind down. Nanti you balik sini, we go out for a date, okay? :)

Hasya is much better, thank you, but, Hilman's cough seems to linger lagi lah :( Have to wait til' antibiotics habis to see what to do next.

Have a fun weekend, and you take care, too!

wanshana said...

Amy,

Alamak...Sorry lah if I buat you nangis! Didn't mean to, dear.

I know...I've been following the progress on your new house and how your parents have been helping you out with the reno, with the shopping segala. You're one very lucky daughter :)

Rasanya, memang macam tu - tak kira how old our kids are, they will still be our babies, and we will still want to do as much as we can for them.

I'm doing the countdown with you, too - nak tunggu you pindah rumah. All the best!

You take care, too. Don't stress yourself nak pindah ni. Take your time, especially to settle in and settle down. It's your own house and you're staying there for a long, long time, insya Allah. So, no need to rush, especially when it comes to unpacking, etc.

HUGS!!!

mr engineer said...

yeah...it's hard being a mom...but with husbands like us, the job is much easier...errr...betul tak?

wanshana said...

Mr. Engineer,

Betul...and there are many reasons for this, but, the best is - because you all give us a free-hand when it comes to retail therapy - the greatest stress-buster :) And this way, all the stress pindah kat you all pulak... ;) Hahaha! (Burden sharing in its most effective way!)

So, thank you to all the MT hubbies :)

tireless mom said...

Most importantly we enjoy being a mom. Saw your update on you waiting kat the paedtrician clinic at FB. Sabor je lah. Hope your kids are feeling much better now.

Kmar said...

Shana,

That is why there is a saying ... ´Syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu´... so believe it or not.. pengorbanan seorang ibu itu besar.

Don´t worry, bit by bit, your daily schedule will be better as the kids grow up. Masalah lain pulak nanti timbul..ha.ha.ha..

Take care dear..

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Dear Shana,
It's hard being a mom, but it's WORTH it! And it's a bonus when it comes with an understanding spouse :)

I hope Hasya and Hilman are getting much2 better today.

You too take care of yourself, ok?

wanshana said...

Kak Yatt @ Tireless Mom,

Yes, you're right :)

Yes - 3 visits to Dr. Mu*a in 6 days, with half a day missing every time. Banyak yang nak kena qadha ni.

The kids are better, syukur alhamdulillah. Thank you :)

wanshana said...

Kmar,

Hehehe...I'm already beginning to experience the "masalah lain" now :)

But, yeah - we'll just have to go through the ups and downs raising our kids, with hope and prayers that there'll be a lot more ups than downs :)

You take care, too. Have a great week ahead!

wanshana said...

Dear Ja,

Betul tu...Kalau spouse tak understanding, sure dah lama sakit jiwa... :)

Thanks, both Hasya and Hilman are better now, but, I must say, Hasya about 95%, while Hilman only 80% of his usual self. He's still coughing, and still on his 4 hourly Ventolin puff, and both are still on antibiotics.

But, hari ni kena gi sekolah jugak coz' dah seminggu missed, and next week is their PKSR3.

Insya Allah, they'll be 100% okay by the end of this week (I hope!)

edelweiss said...

Kak Shana...

i ter'paused' sekejap denagn soklan Hilman tuh....

letih memang letih kan tapi tanggungjawab kita...betul cakap u...i pun wouldnt trade it fro the world....

bila u cakap pi jumpa dr.Mu*a...i dah buleh bayangkan...memang betul half day gone :)

semoga ur kids cepat sembuh...
u take care ya

Desert Rose said...

Kak,

Just as I thought , busy yea. Hope ur kids get better soon.

Take care kak.

Mrs.A said...

Being a mom is easy with kids such as yours , I am so sure of that...

The other day I was kind of down and my Adeena asked ,

"why you crying Mummy"

"because I am sad.."

" Because you are not happy mummy?"

all I could say was (looking at the concern in her eyes)..

" Thank you Adeena for asking, I love you very much "

"and now Mummy, we big hug"

sometimes thats ALL we need.

Keep on being a super mom Kak Shana.

wanshana said...

Dear Edelweiss,

Thank you. The kids are much better today :)

So, Dr. Mu*a is your paeds, too, ya? His PR with the parents of his patients can be quite non-existent sometimes, kan? But, he's a great paeds, and that is what matters most when it comes to health anak-anak kita, kan?

You're in Shah Alam, right? Wow...sanggup drive all the way to DSH to see him :)

You take care, too! :)

wanshana said...

Dear Desert Rose,

The kids are much better now, thank you.

Yup, was extra busy the last few weeks ni. Now pun busy jugak, but, dah a bit organized :)

You take care, too!

* You ngan Edelweiss nak lepak-lepak ngan Kak Kay, ya? Kalau I'm free, boleh tumpang sekaki tak? :)

wanshana said...

Dear Amy @ Mrs A,

Thank you. That was a really sweet thing to say...Yes, anak-anak I tak banyak kerenah sangat, syukur alhamdulillah :)

Aaaawwwwhhh...my heart melted when I read what Adeena did and said. She is one very loving girl. I can just imagine her big eyes looking at you when she said and did what she did.

You're right, looking at our kids after a long and hard day at work or at home, makes all the troubles disappear, kan?

You, too - keep on being a Super Mom! And you need extra super strength when the new little bundle of joy joins the pack! :)

My do'as for a smooth and safe delivery for you tomorrow, my dear. Amin. Insya Allah.

(((Hugs)))

bella said...

Hi Kak Shana,
I hope Hilman n Hasya are getting better. Hilman is always the one with the bombastic quotes huh! He is such a sweet boy. I love reading your blog all because of this, this special relationship and bond that you have with your children.Take care Kak!

ila de cute said...

kak shana, i thought u outstation sbb lama betul mendiam diri..but Hilman's question buat i sebak gak...