Is it hard being a Mom...?

This has been the longest hiatus this blog has gone into, and I guess a few friends were beginning to get worried by my long silence.

Ibu left a comment on my FB - "What happened to you? Sonyap jo..."

Bella SMSd me yesterday - "...Lama tak nampak u update. I hope all is well..."

And even Ayah has been asking me a few times - "You've not updated your blog?"

Thank you for your concerns, my dear friends and hubby :)

I am fine, syukur alhamdulillah. Just that life (if it wasn't already hectic before) had been MORE hectic in the last few weeks.

For a start, the Uni's new Academic Year started early this month, and we had been busy briefing new students as to what the Department has to offer, etc. Instead of the usual congregation of all the new students at the Faculty's biggest Lecture Hall where all the departments take turns to brief the newbies, this year, due to the H1N1 threat, the freshies were not allowed to go to the main campus, and instead we had to go to all the residential colleges for the briefings. So, you can just imagine giving the same presentation over and over again, but to different sets of students? Aiyoooo...mentally exhausting, I tell you. Even though I was not doing the talk myself, going to the residential colleges, and listening to all the briefings itself was quite draining.

And of course, when class started, yours truly had to organize the tutorial groups, etc. And it didn't help when you've come up with the list of students for each group, and allocated the Tutorial topics for each of them, but, every couple of days, a few would come to you and inform that they either just joined the group, or that they had just dropped the course, and you would have to RE-ORGANIZE and RE-ALLOCATE the Topics all over again. And that went on until end of last week. Thank God, I only have a total of 76 students this Semester...

And the kids were ever so busy with all the activities Tok Nenek under the sun, kan? The last 4-5 weekends had not been true weekends for us because of that. I found myself driving the kids here and there for all their extra lessons and social activities throughout most of the Saturdays and Sundays.

And it didn't help when both Hasya and Hilman fell sick at the end of last week.

It started off with Hilman having a bad cough on Thursday, and I had to bring him to see Dr. Mu*a on Friday. He had to go on the nebulizer, and was prescibed with Tussidex, Prednisolone and of course his 4-hourly Ventolin puffs. Thank God, he was not having any temperature.

Come Sunday morning, his cough was not getting better, and Hasya was starting to have flu-like symptoms, and by Sunday evening her temperature went up to 38.4, and she had started coughing, too!

Monday morning, I had to bring both the kids to see Dr. Mu*a again. Hilman had to go on the nebulizer again, and Hasya was asked to take the 4-hourly Ventolin puffs, too, together with Tussidex cough syrup. She was also given a course of antibiotics (Augmentin), but ONLY to be taken if her fever didn't subside by the third day.

Monday night - her temperature was hovering above 38.4 throughout the night, and I was up almost half of the night, waking up every hour or so, checking on her, and spongeing her down. At one point, her temperature shot up to 39.7! We decided to just start her on the Augmentin and not wait for another 2 days.

I had classes until 6p.m on Tuesday, but, Hasya was keeping me in the loop on her temperature. She would call me every hour to give me an update of the thermometer reading. The Augmentin must have helped, as she recorded temperatures of between 37.3 to 37.6 through the day. BUT, Hilman's cough, on the other hand, was NOT getting better at all. In fact it was getting worse. His cough sounded so hollow and so coarse, and I could just feel how soar his throat was just by listening to his coughs!

Wednesday morning, Hasya's temperature went up to 38.1, and I decided to bring them to see Dr. Mu*a again. That was the third visit within 6 days. Those who are familiar with Dr. Mu*a's clinic would know that every visit would mean that half of your day would be gone. However, Dr. Mu*a, upon seeing us in his waiting room, immediately asked us to go to his room - no need to ikut nombor. He was quite happy with Hasya's progress - even though her temperature had not gone down to the normal level, she was getting better and was advised to just continue with whatever medications she was on.

However, after checking Hilman, he ordered for an X-Ray to be done on him, and lo and behold, it showed that Hilman had a lung infection and he was immediately put on a course of Klacid antibiotics.

Both kids were given MC until today.

So, you guys, the last one week had been quite a stressful time for me. What with the lack of sleep, my Florence Nightingale shifts, the running around, the start of my Lectures and Tutorial classes, and the rest of the unsettled stuff at the office. And it didn't help when I was getting the constant, "Are you going to work today, Mommy?!" or "What time are you coming back today, Mommy", or "Do you HAVE to go to the office today, Mommy?"!, either to my face or through the phone. And I was putting on my remote control mode from the office and kept on calling home to make sure the kids were getting their medications on time, and also to make sure that Dar was in fact giving them the RIGHT medication at the right time. And with them being sick and all, eating out or even tapau-ing food from outside would be a BIG No-No! So, that meant I had been doing the cooking myself for the last week or so, too.

It didn't help that we also had some problems with the piping of our nextdoor neighbour's aircond which led to quite a bad leakage in our Master bedroom and onto the plaster ceiling and wall of our living room. And Ayah had also been pretty busy at work in the last month or so, and have been coming back late most nights. But, being busy at the hospital is good for Ayah nowadays, so, I can't complain, can I?

Anyway, it must have shown on my face - the strain, because, while I was driving the kids home from the hospital that day, Hilman asked me what my schedule was after sending them home. Hasya was, by that time, already asleep on the backseat of the car. And I lined up my plans for the day, and said to him -

"First, I have to go back to the office as I have yet to clock in for the day, and I have to settle a few matters at work. Then, I'll be meeting Ayah for lunch. Then, I would be going back to the office to do some work. Then, I would be fetching Kak Long from school at 5:30p.m. Then, I would be sending Kak Long to Wan's house, where she would get ready for her piano lesson. Then, I would be sending Kak Long to her piano lesson, and I would wait for her to finish. (Hasya and Hilman were supposed to have their piano lessons at the same time, too, but this week they're excused) Then, I would be sending Qa*sa*a (his cousin) back to Wan's house (she also goes for piano lessons at the same place and time as the kids) And THEN only I would be making my way home to SD with Kak Long, and cook dinner for you and your sisters".

I said all that to him without a pause.

And after all that, Hilman looked at me and said,

"Is it hard being a Mom, Mommy?"

And suddenly I felt a lump in my throat, and my eyes were getting blurred by the tears welling up in them when all the built-up strain and stress seemed to be rushing in and hit the core of me in those few moments...

I was trying to compose myself, and after a few seconds, I said to him -

"Yes, It IS hard sometimes, Hilman, to be a Mom. But, you know what? I wouldn't change it for the world...NOT EVER."

And with that, all the stress and strain that I was feeling throughout the week, just evaporated away as I held his hand in mine throughout the rest of the journey back to SD...