The Sequel (KPP : 1986 # 4)

Hmmmm...Had too much coffee at my Department's Annual Dinner just now - yearly affair to bid farewell to our Final Year students (By the way, I was voted "Lecturer Paling Anggun and Jelita" by my students! HAHAHAHA! Buter ker aper? Ker nak sogok dapat markah lebih?!) Anyway, I'm now wide awake. Great! Now I can finish off marking the exam papers, but before that, let me just continue with the sequel. Can aarrrr?

Fasten your seat-belts, you guys! Here we go again...on another roller-coaster ride...

Anyway, after that few days post-SPM results break, we all went back to KPP, and I was just not in the mood to see or talk to anybody, especially Ayah. But, hey, Subang Jaya KPP was not a huge place, and how long did I think I could mope around and feel sorry for myself? It was the most difficult thing to do - meeting Ayah and talking about my SPM results. I tried avoiding him, but a girl had to do what a girl had to do.

The morning after we got back to KPP, I sent a message to Ayah via Ibu, telling him of my results and how I was feeling and all. And within 5 minutes of getting my message, Ayah came down to see me at my classroom, and we started talking at the corridor. I think Ayah was not really sure as to how to handle the situation, and he kept on saying, "It's okay....it's okay..." And I just could not stop crying. Sedeh sangat....

Not many people knew about us, and they must have wondered what was going on between us then. Those who knew about us being an item(ish) must have thought that we were having a tiff! But, I just didn't care what people were saying. My eyes were swollen with too much crying before that, anyway...and it didn't help that I was surrounded by all the top SPM students in my class...

But, things got better after a few days after I managed to get a grip of myself and said, "Shana, life has to go on...You have to accept whatever it is that's going on in your life, and make the best of it!" And with that, I just moved on...There were a few other Oxbridge students who were in the same shoes as me, and they seemed to be handling it better than I did, and I took courage in how they just went on with life and continued doing what needed to be done.

What I didn't know, and what Ayah did not tell me was - just before our results came out, Ayah had gone to JPA and had made an appeal to CHANGE his Programme, from Ivy League to Oxbridge, and from doing Engineering in the U.S of A, to doing Medicine in the U.K. It was supposed to be a surprise... If Ayah were to get it, that would mean that BOTH of us would be flying off to the UK that September. That was of course IF straight A's on my SPM results slip was the order of the day, which unfortunately it was not...

And it was about a month after our results came out when Ayah got a letter from JPA. His application to be transferred to the Oxbridge Programme had been approved, and he was to fly off to the UK in September that year...

I just could not describe how I felt when Ayah broke the news to me that one afternoon...Was I happy? I really wasn't sure of myself. But, I could see that even though it was such great news to him, Ayah seemed very, very sad.

What a twist...

It started off with me being in the Oxbridge Programme, and he, in the AAD Programme.

And I was still in the Oxbridge Programme, when he was promoted to the Ivy League Programme.

And, when he was transferred to the Oxbridge Programme, when we were supposed to be flying off to the UK together that September, I was demoted to the A Levels Programme...

The irony of life...And such tests to be bestowed upon us.

It was one of the most difficult and awkward times in our relationship, but, we were taking it a day at a time.

I remember getting a letter from Petronas nearing the end of our English Course in Subang Jaya, confirming my status as a student under the A Levels Programme, and I kept staring at it with tears flowing freely down my face...

It was just too much to handle. The English Course was coming to an end, all my AAD friends would thereafter move to all over Shah Alam according to their Programmes. All my Oxbridge friends, and Ayah of course, would be on a long break before starting their Terminology Course in Kelana Jaya, and there I was - left alone in Subang Jaya, having to make new friends. It felt like I was in a bottomless pit...

But life had to go on.

After the English Course ended, the A Levels Programme started. I remember there were a few of us ex-Oxbridge students who were transferred to the A Levels Programme having to take the bus from Subang Jaya to Kelana Jaya everyday to attend our classes. It was such a chore to me, and it didn't help that Ayah and I was not able to communicate like before. He was back home, and I was busy attending classes, and all.

And it was such a relief, when all the Oxbridge students reported for their one month Terminology Course at KPP Kelana Jaya in July that year, and I got to meet Ayah everyday! And it was in Kelana Jaya that we first went out just the two of us...

Nothing romantic - Ayah would come to my classroom, and we would go to one of the restaurants there and we would buy our nasi bungkus and we would have our lunch at his classroom. By that time, the whole world already knew about us! But, for some reason, I just felt that I did not want to continue with the relationship...

I was so confident that it would not work out. What with him in the UK and me in Malaysia for 2 years, and all? What I didn't think of was that it would have been the same if he were to be in the AAD Programme and I was in the Oxbridge Programme in the first place! I guess, I was still drowning myself in self-pity without realising it...

And I started distancing myself from him. And I remember there were a few girls from the A Levels Programme who were Ayah's tuition mates, who happened to be close friends with Ayah's sister (my now SIL)who was their junior in the Seremban Girls School, whom I always saw talking to Ayah...(lawa-lawa pulak tu!) And again, because of self-pity, I started to ambik hati...And I wrote him a looonnng letter saying that it was better for us to end whatever it was that was going on between us before the relationship went deeper and further...

And I remember that afternoon when he came to see me at my classroom. He was pretty furious, and he asked me to follow him to his classroom. We reached his classroom and he started asking me to draft a letter to Petronas - a letter to appeal for me to be reinstated to the Oxbridge Programme.

I remember being very degil and told him that it would not work. I have resigned to the fact that I would be doing my A Levels in Malaysia. I was okay with that, and why couldn't he just accept that?! I was pretty defiant... But, he was very determined.

And I remember Ayah drafting that letter and asking me to help him provide all sorts of reasons to give to Petronas as to why I should be reinstated, etc. I just couldn't care less at first, but seeing him so determined and so sincere to help, I sat down and we came up with the draft. Ayah must have brought it back with him and printed it out, and the next day, he asked me to sign the letter and we put it in the post. And the waiting game began - well, at least for Ayah it did. Myself? I didn't dare to even hope that my appeal would be considered. I didn't even get an acknowledgment from Petronas of their receipt of that letter!

The Oxbridge Terminology Course finally ended at the end of July / early August. Ayah went back home and I was back to the old routine. Ayah would come and visit me every now and then in between his busy schedule preparing for his trip to the UK that September, and we would spend time talking at Pawagam P.Ramlee during his visits or just chit-chatting in the Common Room. All those while, I was preparing myself for the day when I had to say goodbye to him when he would leave for the UK. That was until THAT one afternoon.

I was in my room preparing for the next day lessons when I was called downstairs by the warden. There were visitors for me. Strange - because my brother had just visited me two days before that, and my uncles or aunties would only come to pick me up for the weekend. (My Abah and Mommy were still staying in Taiping back then).

I went down to the Common Room, and I was pleasantly surprised to see my Abah and my Brother Im* waiting for me there. After salaming and hugging them, my brother said, "We have good news for you!" And I asked, "What?!!" I just could not think of anything at all that could be the good news Abang Im* was telling me about...


Abang Im* was holding a white envelope in his hand, and he was giving me his usual mischievous looks, and he said (or rather - screamed!)-






"CONGRATULATIONS!!!! YOU'RE BACK IN THE OXBRIDGE PROGRAMME!!!"

And he started hugging me, and I - a bit dazed and confused, started hugging him and my Abah, and we started jumping up and down (except for my Abah, of course!), and I started screaming!

I just couldn't belive it!

"Are you sure?!!", I asked Abah and Abang Im*, and they nodded. And Abang Im*, with the big grin still on his face, gave me the envelope.

I opened it, and read the letter inside -

"Dengan sukacitanya - rayuan anda telah dipertimbangkan - pihak kami bersetuju untuk membenarkan saudari meneruskan pangajian di bawah Program Oxbridge di dalam bidang Undang-Undang bermula bulan September tahun ini", etc.

And suddenly, all the pent up emotions which had been bottling up inside me for the last few months just flooded out, and I started to cry...And I mean REALLY CRY...



...To be continued...