Wednesday, July 9, 2008

THE Sequel : 9994

Okay. Where was I?

Yeah, right -

And the day for the engagement ceremony finally came. With 7 dulangs from Ayah's side, and 9 from my side, surrounded by families and friends, I officially became Ayah's fiancee when his Mom slipped the ring onto my ring finger on that morning of 19th December 1993...

And 3 days after that, Ayah had to fly back to the UK, leaving me yet again, in KL...


The story of my life, huh?

Anyway, realizing that we had about 9 months before the proposed wedding date, my Mommy and I got cracking with the preparations. There were so many things to do, and even though nine months seemed like ample time, it felt like everything was moving in a fast forward mode!

There was the hantaran (which we decided to do ourselves - my Mommy, my Aunty Nab and myself); there was the Mak Andam package; the caterers; the menus; the canopies; the kompang people; the baju pengantin; the shoes; the wedding cake; the flowers; the invitation cards; the bunga telur, the bunga pahar, the bilik pengantin, etc. And being the bride, my side also had to prepare for two Majlis - the Nikah and also the Reception. Due to the fact that most of my uncles and aunties were/are scattered all over Perak and Penang, and most of them could only travel down to KL on a weekend, we decided to hold the Reception and bersanding on a weekend. But, the date which Ayah and I had chosen for our nikah fell on a Friday. So, the solution was to have two kenduris. One on the night of the Nikah, and another one the next day. Memang fenin...

And every single plan and changes to the plans would have to be conveyed to my (then future) MIL. And of course, not only did I have to tend to my side's Majlis, I also had to go for the weekly meetings with my MIL and my SIL who were the Wedding Planners on Ayah's side. And I have to say, both of them were REALLY professional! And Ayah, would call every 3-5 days to get updates on everything... Memang senang hidup member...

He was not even there for the baju pengantin fitting session! And my SIL's then boyfriend (who more or less had the same built as Ayah) had to stand in and try the baju pengantin on behalf of Ayah! Can you all believe that? And he even stood in for Ayah for the food-tasting sessions! What the....?! As if?!

And of course - I had to deal with JAWI to book the Tok Kadhi, and segala mak nenek to do with getting witnesess, etc. AND...of course - the Kursus Kahwin...

God...the Kursus Kahwin! I think attending the Kursus Kahwin must have been the MOST difficult and depressing time for me running to the wedding. I was so stressed out with the preparations, etc., and it didn't help that I had to attend it A-L-O-N-E... Sakit jiwer tengok the others attending the course with their partners. And there I was, A-L-0-N-E...

Anyway, by that time I was already practicing at a legal firm in Damansara Utama, which was just 20 minutes away from my future in-laws' place in Section 17, and I would drop by at their house at every chance I got to synchronize things, and of course, getting to know them better. I became quite close to Ayah's Arwah Wan in the months leading to the wedding. I would sit with her in front of the TV in front of her room, and we would have lunch together - most of the times just the two of us, as my MIL would be at her office...

And in the midst of all the chaos leading to the wedding day, Arwah Wan passed away peacefully one evening at the age of 81, a couple of months short of the wedding date. Everybody was devastated. We mourned for her, and it felt like the semangat of the family also died with her. My MIL was very much affected by Arwah Wan's death of course, but, thinking that Arwah Wan would want the wedding to go ahead, my MIL braced herself and continued with the preparations, almost all the time with tears in her eyes. Ayah would have been my MIL's first child to get married, and she had REALLY wanted Arwah Wan to be there on that special day. But, Allah SWT lebih menyayangi Arwah Wan... (Al-Fatihah)

The chaotic mood turned very sombre in the first few weeks after Arwah Wan left us. However, as most of the things were already settled and finalized at that stage, everybody took everything slowly, and as the wedding loomed nearer, loose ends were tied, and we had meetings after meetings to make sure everything was on schedule and synchronized and also to make sure that everybody was aware of his / her responsibilities and duties on THE day.

It all boiled down to a waiting game. Waiting for the wedding date. And waiting for the groom to fly back to Malaysia...

Ayah finally came back 5 (or was it 6?!) days before the wedding, and within that 5 days he managed to persuade JAWI not to get him to go for the Kursus Kahwin Ekspress, and he got away with only a 10-minute interview with the JAWI people before they signed and approved his application to get married! And within that 5 days, too, we managed to get the wedding ring, and the sepersalinan jewelries (according to my family's traditions). And within that 5 days, too, Ayah managed to go for his baju pengantin fitting sessions himself, and a special mandi lulur for the groom, while I was having my own mandi lulur (Errrr....NOT together. NOT in the same tub or bathroom, okay? Hahaha!) And within that 5 days we managed to settle and submit whatever documents that needed to be filed and submitted to JAWI and JAIS (as Ayah was regarded as a Selangor resident). Memang senang hidup member....

Everything on schedule, everything finalized, and everything in order, on the night of 9th September 1994, dengan sekali lafaz, I became Ayah's legally wedded wife after 10 years, 4 months and 15 days of knowing each other...

9994 - Nombor keramat. Exactly 10 years, 4 months and 15 days after that fateful day on 26th April 1984, when I first got Ayah's letter through a mistaken identity...

Such is our jodoh. And syukur alhamdulillah our jodoh was really kuat despite the shaky and rocky (not-on-good-footing) start...

Everything was perfect. We were finally married. We were finally together! Yipppeee!!!

Or were we really?

It was the story of my life yet again. Sigh...

A reception on Ayah's side was held on 14th September, 1994 at PJ H****n, and this was followed by all the bertandang to the sanak-saudaras' houses we could fit in in 1week. And 10 days after the nikah, I followed Ayah back to the UK.

He was by then an SHO at Hull Royal Infirmary. But, we were only together in the UK for 10 days. Both of us, after a heart-to-heart talk a few months preceding the wedding, had agreed that I should establish my career as a lawyer in Malaysia, while Ayah was to work and sit for his MRCP exams in the UK...

So, 3 weeks after becoming Mrs. Ayah, I boarded the BA KL-bound flight, leaving my dearest hubby alone in the UK. And I cried my heart out throughout the whole 13 hours flight back to KL...

To be continued? Or The End?

40 comments:

MrsNordin said...

Alahai... kesian you! How could you leave when your inai was still merah di jari? Heh.. heh... very tragic, your love story... :)

I didn't know that wedding preparations could be as elaborate as yours. Banyaknya meetings! Nasib baik I punya sempoi saja ~ tak payah fenin (as you said).

I remember going to your wedding. I went with Intan, if I'm not mistaken. You wore something peach, betul tak? Kalau tak betul tu, means wedding orang lain lah tu! Sorry...

Hey, sambung lagi ok. Belum habis lagi ni!

p/s I pegi kursus kawin pun sorang sebab MrNordin dah pernah kawin. So dia tak payah pegi kursus. Senang hidup, kan?

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

alamak, you guys had to part ways again after tying the knots?

since i followed your story from the start, it was indeed quite a ride. but for the sake of love, you guys survived the rough seas. couldnt be more perfect than to end it on a pelamin. God, i love happy endings!

but then again, a new chapter of your life began. kalau akak tak keberatan sambung la...kitorang ni suka busybody gak...hehehe...

MoTLeY said...

salam kak shana ...

so sedih (even though i knew the story) ...

but tu la ... sacrifices we go through in a marriage kan ... but i am sure it is all worth it at the end!

take care and miss you lots!

wassalam,

:o) me

ps: sambung aaa

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Shana,
Finally the sequel! Have been waiting for it to come out and when the entry is here, meleleh pulak air mata ni... especially to imagine you on the flight home, alone...

This should NOT be the end, ok! Kena continue... bila dear hubby balik Malaysia, macamana you cope a long-distance marriage, bila pregnant, bila jumpa-jumpa, how did you feel back then.. etc etc..

Sambung, jangan tak sambung...

wanshana said...

MrsNordin,

Ha-ah...macam tragic aje kan? Hahaha!

My MIL and SIL are VERY organized people (unlike me!) and they kept a whole bunch of checklists with them all the time.

My side was quite sempoi as well as both Majlis were held at my house and very much a gotong royong thing. Haizal's side - banyak sub-con! Tu yang banyak meetings tu. Hehehe!

Yes - I wore a creamy/peachy baju for my reception! Wow!!! You still remember after all these years?!! Amazing.

Lucky MrNordin and Haizal, huh? But, tak pergi kursus pun, syukur alhamdulillah they're very responsible husbands and fathers. Yang pergi kursus pun tak guarantee jadi perfect husbands, betul tak? :)

wanshana said...

Kerp,

Tu laaaa.... Macam tak berkesudahan. Asyik apart aje! But, I guess that was what made us appreciate each other more, even until now :)

Nak sambung?!

Hmmmm...lagi 1 or 2 aje lagi boleh la kot? After that, dah mundane husband & wife; mommy & daddy, kiddos stories, which are what I blog about anyway! :)

Insya Allah will work on it.

wanshana said...

motley,

Salams :).

When I think about it again, macam tak percaya that we went through all that!

Rasanya, if we were to turn back the clock, tak sanggup nak face the separations, etc lagi kot...

Missing you, too!

You take care, too! And good luck with the move down south (especially in putting the house in the market!)

(((((Hugs)))))

wanshana said...

DDI @ Ja,

I can still remember that 13 hours journey vividly until today, or rather the blurry parts of everything because of my tears!

I remember sitting with an American couple who kept asking me if I was okay, and I could only nod my head and look away every time.

I remember them not taking the meals provided in the flight, but, instead, at every meal time, they would ask the stewardess to bring their own bekal of smoked salmon. They must have had half a tonne of smoked salmon supplies on board that day!

Of course they offered to share with me. If I was not feeling that down that day, I would probably have walloped more than half of their supplies, I think. Hahaha!

Insya Allah, akan disambung sket lagi... :)

Eta My said...

Shana...drpd kisah u..ramai boleh ambil pengajaran...ie..baba-bab merancang.( at least masa anak-anak nanti bule refer notes..).bab-bab bersabar kena tinggal..peluk bantai sorang2....sadis...

Long distance tu yang buat sayang habis....kan ..kan...berbaloi!!

Udinb said...

Kak Wan,

Ana and I are in London now, for my MBA Graduation tomorrow at Leicester. We went for a day trip to Paris yesterday.

Surely UK must be very memorable for both of you as this is where your early 'romantic' relationship during your uiversity days.

We will be here until 16th July, are there any special place you would want to recommend us?.

As my 3 daughters back home said: 'Happy Honeymoon AYah and Mama'.

wanshana said...

EtaMy,

No joke kan - planning a wedding. Actuallynya, I was not really that organized compared to my MIL and SIL.

They have a special BIG file for everything, and a fantastic system (especially in keeping tabs with the RSVPs for Haizal's side punya reception).

It was a VERY difficult decision. But, we thought we had to make sure that we pursue or at least secure a good career before starting a family. I could only do that if I stayed in KL, and Haizal could only do that if he stayed in the UK. So - being apart was the way to go...

Memang merana :(

wanshana said...

udinb,

Congratulations (in advance)! :)

Waaaaa... A day trip to Paris? Cukup ke nak cover all the wajib places while there?

But, tak aper - one day or one week, Paris is such a romantic city, kan? Did you manage to experience an evening in Paris? Walking along the streets, etc?

Yes, the UK holds a lot of special memories for us.

Hmmmm, there are so many places to go to and so many things to see in the UK. It depends on what you and Ana like to do.

Shopping - of course Oxford Street, Bond Street, Regent Street, Harrods, and they have a few Designer Outlet Stores worth checking - in York, Bicester and also in Ashford.

Sightseeing - other than the usual London attractions, Lake District or North Wales/Snowdonia area would be breathtakingly beautiful this time of the year, and not too cold.

Other interesting places would be Bath, Edinburgh, Oxford and Cambridge, maybe? (I wouldn't recommend going to Stone Henge, though. It takes ages to reach there, and when you're there, you'll be greeted by these stone structures. And that's about it!)

If you all are Museum people, of course - all the British Museums in London!

Have fun! And I would like to echo your three daughters -

"Happy Honeymoon!!!" :)

IBU said...

Heh Shana....

You forgot the bit on FOC make up artist! How could u...

p/s See... my memory not so poor after all. hehehehhh

p/s And who were the best man & brides maid then? Bukan Mr & Mrs Engineer ke? Ke silap wedding dah ni?

wanshana said...

Ibu!

Hehehe! Maaaanyak sorry, kawan!

I think you were my sole make-up artist for my engagement kan? And for my wedding, you came to the rescue coz' I was so tak puas hati with my Mak Andam punya kerja yang teramatlah tak ada seni!

Thank you, my friend. Thank you! :)

Dah betul la tu - Mr. and Mrs Engineer were our pengapits for the reception at PJ H****n.

(By the way, why are Mr. and Mrs. E so senyap nowadays, huh?!)

P/S : Itu lima pasang kasut sudah habis pakai semua kaaa?!

Anonymous said...

"my MIL and SIL are very organized"... i would attest to that! he he.. sambung laaa... some people need excitement ! I took my baju kahwin from that same place you know, S*t*r* J*n*g* kan?. (so did a few of our friends- mine and SIL's i mean)Your wedding pics are there in their collection.

AMY

Madam Tai Tai said...

Hi Shana,

19th December is your engagement date & it's my wedding date! But by December 1993, my first born dah 2 months old - bunting pelamin kata org2 tua.

I don't really much wonderful memories of the preparation. It was so lack-lustre from his side of the family as they were undergoing some personal crisis then.

It was a trial and error on my side because it's the first wedding in the family. My Mak didn't really know much.

But nonetheless a wedding however elaborate or simple the preparation is, it is a day to be remembered fondly by both husband and wife. That is the date when he belongs to you, and you to him - officially.

But in your case, it's so sad that both of you had to be apart sekali lagi...and lepas dah kahwin pulak tu! Cabaran..cabaran...

wanshana said...

Amy,

You know betapa organized my SIL is, right? Nasib baik lah she was there to help out my MIL with the preparation and all, while her Angah - the groom to be, was thousands of miles away!(Errr... come to think of it, I don't think he would be of much help even if he was around pun... HAHAHAHA!)

Yup - on the groom's side, we took the package from S*t*r* J*n*g*. I think those years they were very much sought after by KLites pengantins-to-be. They have beautiful collections of baju pengantin in all colours under the sun, kan? So, which colour did you choose for your wedding?

And Yup - we know about our wedding pics being in their collection... We SPECIFICALLY requested for the pics NOT to be displayed for the whole world to see, but, somehow, somewhere, somebody did not get/understand this simple instruction.

Hmmm...I wonder if they're still running the biz' in Kg. Baru. Would be cool if anak-anak I nak kawin nanti pun we engage their service :)

wanshana said...

Hi Madam Tai Tai,

Personally, I think it's cool when couples celebrate their 1st wedding anniversary with their firstborn! :) Bestnyer...

You're right - it doesn't matter how big or how small the scale of the wedding reception/kenduri is. Yang penting - the actual day itself which will be remembered and held sacred in the hearts of the pengantin.

In your case, I guess whatever it may be which caused the prep by MrS family to lack in lustre must have been compensated multifolds by his love for you, and of course the love that your Mom put in in preparing for the kenduri and reception on your side.

I just love the pre-wedding rituals and the gotong royong parts where families and friends get together from all over. It has been quite some time since we last had a wedding in the family. And I'm so looking forward to the times when my anak-anak saudara start getting hitched nanti!

As for my Cerita Chenta ni - memang banyak cabaran...

Anonymous said...

Yours 99(94)
Mine 109(93)
A**d 119(93)-if i'm not mistaken

Ex-housemate

wallpapersdeco said...

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Amy said...

Wahh sebak baca ok? Are you kidding me? Of course it has to be continued! Baca cerita you ni macam baca a nice romantic novel, I can even imagine it in a movie! Sapa you rasa sesuai bawak watak you and hubby? :P

wanshana said...

Dear ex-housemate,

Oh yes! Now I remember - you and K***il also got married on the same weekend when A**d and R**f got married!

I remember thinking to myself - "Waaaaa.... R**f and K***il ni memang sehati sejiwa - same Uni, housemates, same course. Nak kawin pun, kena same weekend! Hahaha!

Now, that's easy to remember - 9/9, 10/9 and 11/9.

Cheers, mate!

P/S : When's the next time you all balik M'sia? Btw, I met I*ya a couple of years ago. We used to go the same gym (and "USED TO GO" is the operative word here - dah nearly 2 years I tak pegi! Hahaha!) Member dah slim giler....

wanshana said...

wallpapersdeco,

Thanks for the info :)

wanshana said...

Amy,

I yang menulis pun sebak bila teringat balik what we had to go through...

Hmmmm... Main characters for a film? Definitely NOT those groomed by Datuk Y*s*f H**lam. And definitely NOT to be directed by him, too. Nanti the scripts would go something like this -

"Kamu semua harus bersiap-sedia untuk megadakan kenduri kahwin yang akan diadakan pada 9 September tahun ini..."

"Sarjan...Saya mahu Sarjan pastikan semua bunga telur ditempah secepat mungkin..."

"Baik Tuan... saya juga akan mengadakan rondaan di sekitar balairaya-balairaya di Kuala Lumpur untuk mencari kumpulan kompang bagi memeriahkan majlis..."

Errrr.... Kajol boleh?! Hero - Ajay Devgan ke... ;)

Mior Azhar said...

Shana,
The kursus kahwin? Both Azian and I also attended it separately --- different places (in KL) although it's on the same weekend. Miscommunication tahap tertinggi. Jadiknya very lonely ... tengok couple2 lain.
Alamak your CC is coming to an end? Sedih ler pulak... yours is among the only good piece of writings worth reading nowadays...
lepas kahwin lama ker berpisah?

Kmar said...

Shana,

Ayoyoyo... you must be ´crying your heart´ out.. bila terpaksa berpisah.

Anyway, your pengorbanan you berbaloi laa... even gifted with 3 wonderful kids, betul tak???

Waterlily said...

Hi Shana

wow...so itu lah ceritanya nombor keramat 9994 itu ye? Terharu i baca.

I got married on 30.3.96..honeymoon one night kat Damai Beach Resort (I still keep the receipt!!). One week kena tinggal coz dear hubby terpaksa kerja balik...

We married in Kuching, at that time tak de nye kursus kahwin ni here. We were interviewed by the ustaz though...dear hubby kena tanya 1001 soalan, baca ayat tu ayat ni, selebihnya ustaz tanya tentang kerja dear hubby!...bila part i, ustaz tanya satu je..."macamana niat mandi hadas besar..." hahahaha....

wanshana said...

Mior,

Alamak!!! "Miscommunication tahap tertinggi"??! Macam mana tu ya?!

Azian kursus kat mana, and you pulak kat mana? Aihhhhh... mesti tension pun "tahap tertinggi" jugak tu! Hahaha... Tak per... Yang penting - at the end of the day - KAWIN. Betul tak? :)

Yup - this is the tail end of CC. Will cerita-ceriti about the times were were apart in the next sequel, insya Allah.

wanshana said...

Kmar,

Rasa macam tak nak naik kapalterbang aje, and Haizal pun rasa macam tak nak hantar I to the airport that day.

In fact, ada cerita about the day we traveled down to Heathrow from Hull on that sad day which we ingat sampai now! (it wasn't funny at all then, but, it's hilarious now!!!) I think I will let him tell it himself nanti.

And yup - all berbaloi bila tengok anak-anak... :)

wanshana said...

Waterlily,

Begitulah cerita nombor keramat 9994. All our cars' plate numbers are 9994 - sempena nombor keramat ni. Nasib baik tak 8888 or 1111, or yang sewaktu dengannya - kalau tak, botak la kepala everytime nak bid for the number...

The kursus kawin in KL ni, ada a written part and also a 10 mins interview. Berpeluh jugak lah! Soalan suruh baca niat mandi hadas besar tu, kira soalan wajib tu! Ustadz pun tau what's on everybody's mind before kawin tu... Hahahaha!

I***s had to go back to work kat mana masa tu, ya? I bet that was the longest one week you've ever had to go through, huh?

Theta said...

Thank you Kak Shana for this long-awaited sequel.

So what was the color theme at both weddings? :)

I was hoping you might put some photos up here. If tak keberatan, please do.

Anyhow, I can imagine how gutted you were having to go back to Malaysia after 3 weeks of marital bliss. But God works in mysterious ways, right? There's a silver lining to your decision I bet.

MAMAMIA said...

Cerita Chenta coming to its end?

Your wedding preparations memang betul2 follow the book kan. Mine, was mana 'dan' aje.

Your 13 hr flight back home must have been one of the loneliest flights. Kesian you....

wanshana said...

Theta,

You're welcome :)

My side, the theme was purple/violet/white for the bedroom and hantaran, while Ayah's side was gold/cream/peach.

As for our bajus - cream and peach on my side, and RED for Ayah's side.

Insya Allah, once my IT savvy hubby gets down to scanning the pics, I'll post some here :)

Yup, God works in mysterious ways indeed - so much so that our "separation" plans had to be changed... Winks*

wanshana said...

Mamamia,

Unfortunately (or fortunately?! Hehehe!), YES, my CC is coming to an end...

Our wedding prep was not TOTALLY done by the book, but we tried to be as conventional and traditional as possible, especially on Ayah's side.

Ayah was the first to get married amongst his siblings. As for myself - my parents had gone through wedding rigmaroles of 3 other children before me. So, no big deal sangat. Hehehe!

Yup - the longest and loneliest 13-hour flight ever for me... :(

Ayah said...

There were too many goodbyes at the start of our relationship.. tapi sampai dah kahwin pun we had to endure the pain of missing each other. The last of the painful goodbyes was last year when we had to be apart for 7 months, or was it longer?! Felt like 7 years, I'd say..

I have scanned the photos you left by the PC. They're in 'My Pictures' under 'Wedding Photos' folder.. :)

wanshana said...

Ayah,

Naturally, being apart AFTER being married is a million times more difficult than being apart when we were courting :(

And I think it was even more difficult because we HAD a choice whether to be together or be apart, BUT we chose the latter because of the circumstances... And we had to live through our decision. THAT was what made it difficult...

* Thanks for scanning the pics! :)

jabishah said...

Hi Kak Shana,
What a beautiful ending! Kira honeymoon kat UK lah ni... ;-) But I know how you felt going back home alone after the honeymoon.

ps- love you wedding pix! ayu gitu... hope it's not too late for me to congratulate you both,

wanshana said...

Hi Jabishah,

Thanks! Nope, it's never too late to wish good things ;)

It wasn't really a proper honeymoon when I followed Ayah back to the UK as he was working most of the times :( But, at least we were together there.

We only went for our honeymoon about 5 months after we got married :)

SitiNur said...

I can imagine wat u've gone thru.

My dearest granddad passed away 3 days before my wedding. Nasib baik the whole family remembered to attend my wedding. And I cannot expect anybody else to be happy on my happy day especially they are still mourning. Not to mention, wedding preps were done by self and future family in laws. Sadisss...

wanshana said...

SitiNur,

I'm sorry to hear about the circumstances surrounding your wedding day. You must have been devastated. But, alhamdulillah, everything went well.

It was a very sombre and trying times for my in-laws, but alhamdulillah Allah SWT gave them the strength to go on...

I'm glad that Arwah Wan got to know me before she passed away - her first granddaughter-in-law marrying her grandson from her youngest daughter. (complicatednya!)