The Sequel : This is IT...

Finally, the LAST in the series of Cerita Chenta...

The 10 years 4 months and 15 days roller-coaster ride (to borrow Dad of 4+1's description of the saga) from the first time Ayah and I got to know each other when we were 16, was sealed with the Akad Nikah on 9th September 1994, when both of us were 26 years old. But, we were still strapped to the seats of the roller-coaster carriage as there was still one small dip that we had to go through...

We thought we had it all figured out, and we thought we could handle it. We had charted our career paths so that when the time were to come for us to settle down and start a family, we would have already somewhat established ourselves in our respective careers. We had been apart before - many, many times in fact, and we should not have any problems being apart again. Or so we thought.

But, Boy...little did we know that it was not going to be the same once we were married...

After saying goodbye to Ayah at Heathrow's Terminal 4 that day, and after going through the longest 13-hour flight back to KL, and after being so dehydrated (for being in the long-haul flight AND from crying non-stop!), life had to go on and we had to get back into our daily routines.

I had been on a month's leave, preparing for the wedding and also to join Ayah for a short while in the UK, and I found it SOOOOOOOO difficult to get back into the groove. And the fact that I had piles and piles of work waiting for me at the office when I finally reported back for duty was not helping at all. Those files should have taken my mind off Ayah, but, instead, Ayah was taking my mind off the files!!!

I was missing him terribly. I kept on thinking if his makan-minum, if his baju-pakai segala were okay, if his house was in order, etc. (As if before he got married to me he didn't eat, he didn't pakai baju, and he didn't live in a house (??!!), etc! Hehehe...)

But, it was different. I felt that as his wife, I should be making sure that his life was teratur and I should have been there to offer the care, comfort and warmth to her husband as a wife should. Or so, I initially thought. On hindsight, I realized that in fact, it was probably the other way round.

I was the one who needed Ayah to be with me. I was the one who needed him to be there with me when I got back home from work. I needed him there so that we could talk about everything under the sun. I needed him there with me when I went a visiting families and friends, ESPECIALLY when people kept on asking about him 24/7. I needed him to be there when I was not well. I needed him to be there when I was sad. I needed him to be there when I was happy. I just needed him to be there when I closed my eyes at night. I just needed him to be there.

Selfish? Maybe.

Profound love for my husband? I would like to think that as 'Definitely'.

And I would alternate my stay between my parents' and my in-laws'. I knew that my in-laws became my parents, too, the day we got married. I was and am also responsible for their well-being, especially when their son was not there with them. And it wasn't helping at all that the in-laws' place was full of stuffs and pictures reminding me of Ayah. His prints were all over the house. And his (pleasant :)) smell, too... Saying that I was "depressed" during those months would be a gross understatement.

And to say that I was thrilled when Ayah came back for a short-break in February 1995, five months after we got married, would also be a gross understatement, too. I was more thrilled than thrilled x infinity and beyond :)

We needed the time alone, and as we had not really gone for a proper honeymoon, we decided to get away for a few days just the two of us. And Syukur Alhamdulillah for supercool and sporting parents - Mak and Arwah Daddy were so kind when they sponsored our honeymoon in Bali. 5 heavenly days were spent in beautiful Bali that February. It was pure bliss...

But, a few days after coming back from our honeymoon trip, we had to part ways again when Ayah had to fly back to the UK. Sobs...

I remember feeling very heart-sick for quite some time after our goodbyes. True when they say, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah... I was feeling pretty sick, and started losing weight. My health took a toll when I was down with fatigue which was compounded with food-poisoning at the end of March that year and I was totally flattened. Deep inside I knew that it was not because of my physical health, but more so because I was just feeling so down being alone. And I remember crying myself to sleep every night back then...

I was so emotional and so easily hurt. "Ultra-sensitive" was my middle name. And I was ever so grumpy. And it didn't help that I was also feeling quite sickly most of the time.

Not surprising....As I found out at the end of March that I was pregnant...

I was a week late, and I thought that it was due to emotional and physical stress, and of course because I was down with food poisoning and all. And I contribute my throwing-up bouts and fatigues to that. But, I remember telling myself, "What if?"

And just to be on the safe side, off I went to Guardian and bought myself a Home Preggie test kit, during one of my (many) coffee breaks at work. I remember feeling very nervous. I remember reading the instructions on the test kit for maybe 73 times just to make sure that I understood it. I remember doing the test in the office loo. And I remember seeing the 2 blue lines appearing almost immediately. And I remember crying...

No. NOT because I was sad that I was pregnant (of course NOT!!!), but I was sad because Ayah was not there with me to see the 2 blue lines...

I was pretty excited and anxious, of course, and quickly asked my Boss (Encik Ha*an***in) if I could just slip out for an hour. The nearest clinic happened to be an O&G clinic (THE Dr Col*n Le* Women's Clinic in Damansara Utama) which was just within 5 minutes walking distance. And within half an hour, it was confirmed - I was indeed pregnant...

I walked back to the office, but I just couldn't call Ayah from there (this was during the Ice Age when handphones and SMS were still a novelty and skype and the likes were not heard of). Furthermore, it was about 4a.m in the morning in the UK and I didn't want to wake him up! But, I needed to tell someone. I tried calling my Mom but nobody was home, so I called one of my MT friends, Ab** to tell her the good news.

And when I told her that she was the FIRST to know, she gave me a - "Shana, are you crazy??!! You mean you have NOT told Haizal yet?!!, etc." And THAT was enough for me to straight away ask my Boss if I could call Ayah using the office phone.

I remember Ayah answering my call with a groggy voice (what do you expect? It was about 4a.m in the morning in the UK!) and him asking me if everything was okay, etc. I was trying not to sound anxious or excited, and we were just having small talks, when I said to Ayah -

Me : Guess what?

Ayah : Hmmm...what?

Me : You know I was not feeling well, and had food poisoning and was throwing up like nobody's business that day?

Ayah : Yeeessss...??

Me : Apparently it was not the food poisoning... Well, it was not JUST because of food poisoning.

Ayah : What do you mean? Are you okay?

Me : (Pause)...Yeah, I'm okay. In fact, I'm more than okay... I'm pregnant...

Ayah : (A BIG FAT 10 SECONDS PAUSE followed, and then he started laughing!) ARE YOU SURE???!!! I mean, have you seen the doctor? (And he continued laughing!) I'm just so happy! Imagine that! Syukur Alhamdulillah... Are you okay? How do you feel?! (And another 1001 questions and "Are you okays" from him after that:))

Me : (Also laughing from my end)...Yes, I have seen the doctor, and I did a home preggie test before that, etc.

And out of the blue, I said to Ayah -

Me : I want to quit my job. I want to be with you...

And I started crying... (Cememeh kan??!!!)

And what Ayah said after that made me cry even more -

"YES, I want you to be here with me as soon as you can. I will ask Mak to arrange with Chr**t*ne (Mak's travel agent) to get your flight tickets here as soon as possible. In the meantime, please take good care of yourself...and our baby, okay...?"

There was no pause, no doubts, no hesitation from Ayah.

Kalau ikutkan hati, I would have just dropped everything and taken the next flight out to Hull that day. But, of course that would not be fair to anyone. There were some loose ends to tie at work, and of course, I had to think of my Abah and Mommy, too. I should at least prepare them for yet another round of me leaving home and going back to the UK...

Remember when I said how sad I felt going to the Kursus Kahwin alone? And also going about preparing for the Wedding alone? Well, try going to an ante-natal check-up alone... Now, THAT was something else. It saddened me everytime I saw fellow Moms-to-be at the clinic with their hubbies, and there I was , with yet another story of my life - ALONE... But, Thank God, there were only two ante-natal check-ups that I had to go through before flying off to the UK.

After tendering in my one month notice of resignation, and after tying all the loose ends at work, and after paying all the dues within my social circles, at the end of May 1995 - 8 months after getting married, I bade farewell to my family and friends in Malaysia, and left for the UK to be with Ayah, to start OUR OWN little family...

We were finally REALLY together....

And the rest, as they say - is history...

- THE END -


* I would like to take this opportunity to say Thank You from the bottom of my heart to all who had followed Cerita Chenta from Day 1 until today. What started out as a posting to wish Ayah "A Happy 24th Anniversary of Knowing-each-other" on 26th April 2008, turned out to be a Prologue of a Series of Sequels of the roller-coaster rides Ayah and I had to go through before we finally tied the knot in 1994.

It had been a very nostalgic and heart-warming experience for me and Ayah, and writing the Cerita Chenta has made us feel even more closer to each other. And hey, the naturally romantic Ayah has become even more romantic now... (Buleh??!)

I hope that all our friends whom Ayah and I had made during the Cerita Chenta Series have enjoyed reading the stories, as much as I had enjoyed writing and sharing them here.

I truly treasure this very special friendship, and so does Ayah :)

I hope all of us will not stop reminiscing the yesteryears, so as to embark upon an even more meaningful future with our loved ones.

Just do it...

Reminisce.

God Bless. Wassalam.