Happy 14th Birthday, Kak Long Hanna :)

14 years ago today, we welcomed our firstborn - Hanna Suhaila binti Haizal, into this world...

I remember that day very clearly even until today. We had the first snow in Newcastle upon Tyne for that year in that early hours of 17th November 1995, and the grounds were already covered with snow by the time I had my first contractions at 4:15a.m in the morning that day.

Being extra-cautious and extra-anxious first-time parents-to-be, Ayah and I had prepared ourselves for that moment and had rehearsed the drill over and over again (in our heads, that is) on what to do and how to do them, especially should the contractions start during ungodly hours (as it was in fact fated to be!). But of course, nothing could have prepared us for the real thing. For one, we didn't expect it to snow (and quite heavily, too!) on the day I went into labour!

It must have been just before 4:00a.m when I had to go to the loo to ease myself when I noticed a show and I immediately woke Ayah up. The EDD was 19th November 1995, and we were hoping and praying that the baby would stick to the EDD (Hehehe...wishful thinking, right? But no - she decided to come out 2 days early!) Barely 15 minutes after that, the contractions started.

I immediately asked Ayah to get the hospital bag and call the hospital to expect us within the next 15 minutes. But as fate had it, the icy and snowy weather which started a few hours earlier had led to the windscreen of our car to be covered with ice, and the roads with snow that morning.

While anxiously monitoring the intervals between the contractions, I tried very hard not to panic while watching and waiting for Ayah who had to spend nearly 15 minutes scraping the hardened frost off the windshield of the car. Ayah being Ayah, he was pretty calm throughout the time, and I have to admit that THAT in a way had helped me to remain calm as well.

Once the ice came off, we started our drive to the Royal Victoria Infirmary (RVI). The journey to the hospital from our place in Forest Hall which normally would have taken us only 10 minutes, had taken us about 40 minutes due to the snow-covered roads. Syukur alhamdulillah, the baby was quite comfortable and quite contented to stay put in my tummy throughout the journey which seemed to be like the longest journey of my life ever.

We reached the hospital just after 5:00a.m and I was immediately wheeled to the Labour Room where I was given a change of clothes in the form of a hospital robe, and the nurses started to take some readings and monitor my progress, and I was prepared for the actual delivery.

I remember so vividly when the waterbag broke while I was sitting on the sofa. I've read about it, and I've heard about it from others. But experiencing it myself was another thing. I was drenched from the waist down and my whole body suddenly felt very light. The nurses took this cue to give me a change of robe, and immediately after that sent me straight to the Delivery Room.

The contractions became more regular and more painful within the next hour, and as it was happening too fast, they were not able to give me the epidural fearing that it would take full effect at the wrong time and might cause complications during delivery. And throughout the whole time, I was only relying on Enthonox to relieve the pain.

As the intervals between the contractions became shorter and shorter, the labour room became more crowded with nurses and doctors as the medical team realized that the baby's heartbeat was going down to abnormal level everytime I was having the contractions. At one time, there were 5 doctors attending to me and the baby in my tummy, and in my enthonox-induced dazed situation I was praying hard in my heart for everything to be okay.

Concerned with the possibility of complications while delivering the baby, the doctors had asked our consent to extract some blood from the baby's crown for some tests to determine the actual cause of distress, and to eliminate other possible factors so as to prepare them for any unexpected labour room crisis. Ayah gave them the green-light and they did whatever needed to be done. I couldn't quite comprehend what really happened within the next 1 hour or so after that, but, what I remembered was when I was told that there was nothing really wrong with the baby. It was just that she was too lazy to work her way out of her mommy's tummy, it seems :)

Ayah was beside me throughout the whole time, and everytime the contractions became unbearable, I would squeeze his hands like there was no tomorrow... In retrospect, he probably was in more pain than I was then, I think. Poor thing...

And at 7:10a.m on 17th November 1995, I safely delivered Hanna Suhaila, weighing at 3.54kg. She came out with thick, black spiky hair, and lips like rubies. And the wail that she gave out when the world welcomed her was the sweetest music to my ears...

I remember holding her immediately after that, and putting her on my chest and she suddenly stopped crying, and I looked at Ayah. He was smiling at me and squeezing my hands. And while kissing my forehead, he whispered to me -

"Our baby..."

And my eyes just welled up and I started crying - out of the undescribable joy and love I felt at that moment.

And Hanna, no matter what happens, no matter how old you are, and no matter where you are, you will always be our baby, my dearest...

And please know it in your heart that Ayah and I love you so very much, and we will do anything for you.

Mommy do'akan your life be filled with love and happiness and people who truly care about you. You have brought so much joy not just to Mommy and Ayah, but also to so many people - friends and family, with your special ways, and your kind heart. Semoga Hanna menjadi anak yang solehah, berbudi pekerti dan mempunyai akhlak yang mulia, dan berjaya dalam kehidupan, insya Allah...

Again, please remember that you'll always be our baby, and if you ever need us, we'll be there...

Happy 14th Birthday, sayang...