Monday, January 21, 2013

Adapting and coping with, and filling the Empty Nest Emptiness...

I never thought I would be going through the empty nest emptiness so early in life...( if I'm that young! Hehehe...)

I'll be 45 in May, in sya Allah, and the house is already feeling void and empty since early this year.

Hanna is waiting for her SPM result which is expected to come out some time in March, and she has been keeping herself busy with driving lessons (and she passed her tests last week! :)) organizing the UN Model Conference with her Interact Club friends from all over PJ (the conference will be held in April), and she has also been going to the gym quite religiously (after sweet-talking her Ayah to sign her up with a fitness centre a few weeks ago). And, oh yes, she has also started working at one of Ayah's companies since a week ago. She also goes out for futsal and handball games with her friends every now and then. So, she's rarely at home.

And with both Hasya and Hilman in KYS, and with Ayah consistently working until quite late nearly every night, I'm pretty much left alone at home for most of the time. I'm still on unpaid leave until mid-February, so, until then, I'm struggling to keep myself occupied. Too much time in my hands would mean I would start missing the kids!

Fortunately, I have found ways to occupy my time.

Firstly, with the decision to move back to SD after nearly 20 months of leaving the house empty, Bibik Dar and I have been going back to spring-clean the whole house everyday from 10:00am until about 8:00pm everyday. The house was in such a bad condition - with dusts so thick, and a lot of stuffs needed repairing/changed, that we are still spring-cleaning it even after 2 weeks, and we are not even halfway done!

We have sent all upholsteries to the laundry together with all the beddings, carpets, and most of the clothing which were hanging in the closets for the past twenty months. What we can wash ourselves, we would wash them at home. We have also sorted the clothing which we want to store in boxes, those which we want to give away, and those which have to be discarded.

We have also emptied all the closets, and wiped everything - inside and out. Some spots had even become moldy and extra scrubbings were required. And I just have to do a bit of advertising here -Kiwi All Purpose Cleaner is the best surface cleaner ever! It has made my life so much easier... All surfaces have been wiped clean of dusts, together with all the little-little deco mak nenek, and books around the house. All beds and mattresses have also been wiped and cleaned. Suffice to say, every night when I go back to my MIL's house, my hands would smell of Dettol... Hmmm?

But, even after all that, I have to say that for the moment, the only rooms which are completely cleaned and habitable are Hilman's, the Master Bedroom, Bibik Dar's room, the kitchen, the dining area and the downstairs living room. Oh ya, all the bathrooms are done, too :) Still pending are the girls' room, the upstairs TV hall and the study room (and I dread to open and check the storeroom under the staircase! And there's also the twilight zone area under the staircase going up to the girls' room, too! Aaarrgghhh!!!) Safe to say that Alam Flora people will be kept very busy for the next few weeks getting rid of all the junks I'm throwing out from those rooms.

But, one thing I like about all these is that Bibik Dar and I can also start packing our stuffs into boxes in preparation of us moving to BJ middle of this year, in sya Allah. So, in a way, it is quite an exciting task, just as how it is such a cumbersome thing to do.

And that brings me to the second thing which I do to occupy my time. This, I do until quite late at night - working on the renovation ideas for our BJ house. And THAT has also been a somewhat abandoned house, too!

We bought the house way back in 2005 (or was it 2006?) and we got the keys in 2008 (I think?) and as there was no urgency to move we didn't do much to the house. We furnished two of the rooms - Hasya's and Hilman's, and that was about it. We used to go there every Sunday to sweep and mop the whole place, but, when Bibik Dar went back to Indonesia at the end of 2009 (and failed to come back until end of 2010), we stopped going to the house. We had a couple of gardeners to cut and maintain the lawn for the last 3 years, and we would only check on the house every 4-5 months.

And with so many other commitments to fulfill in the last 3 years - financial, work, business, family, etc., which we felt took priorities, we could not commit on working on the renovation of the house. And the house is in a somewhat sad condition, too.

So, Ayah and I have decided to work on the renovation plans and hopefully we can start work on it soon. And with Allah's will, we hope to move in to our BJ house before Ramadhan this year, in sya Allah.

I used to have different sets/options on the renovation plans, but, somehow I have misplaced the file which had about 20 different renovation ideas in it. So, what I have done in the last couple of weeks was to come up with the FINAL plan, and Ayah has given his approval, syukur alhamdulillah. So, the next thing is to get an architect friend to work on the proper drawings and specification and submit the plan to MBSA for their approval, and hopefully the reno work can start very soon.

And the third thing that I do to occupy my time, at least on my Saturday mornings, is that I've started going for Kelas Mengaji again together with my Ahli Majlis Tertinggi BFFs. We've only had two classes so far. Syukur alhamdulillah, terbukak jugak my hati to start belajar mengaji again. The last time I went for a proper kelas mengaji was probably 30 years ago! I did join Hasya and Hilman's class in 2007, but, somehow I did not continue until the end. And every now and then, I do follow classes on TV, but, that was about it. So, this time around bersemangat to learn mengaji again. My AMT friend Reha offered to have the weekly class at her place in Kemensah, so, in a way it's a good "excuse" to get together to mengaji and makan-makan  after that :)

The fourth thing that I'm doing now to occupy my time (more of my mind actually!) is psyching myself up in to start working again next month after more than a year and a half of medical and unpaid leave... Hmmm... for this, no semangat and malas to cerita... Hehehe... :)

And of course, the fifth thing is - I've started blogging again! Yeaaaayyyy!! :)))


ummisara said...

glad u r back kak shana :)

Helena said...

Shana. Kita serupa!! my youngest left the nest jugak tahun ni. Its just me and hubby... but now ni tak terasa sangat as this weekend pun cuti panjang. But will die of loneliness when hubby starts travelling and bila dia pergi Umrah insyaAllah... alahai..... lamanyaaa....

wanshana said...

Glad to be back, too, Mynn :)

wanshana said...


I still teringat you dok blog about your kids, especially the two younger ones. Now they all pun dah ikut their sisters. Time flies! Which states are they all in now, ya?

Hasya n Hilman came back for their overnight stay last weekend, so, they wont be coming back this weekend. But, in sya Allah we'll be going down to Melaka tomorrow on cuti Maulidurrasul. My hubby pun works late almost every night, or if not working, he'd be jamming with his friends sometimes. Tu yang I have to come up with things to do bila dok sengsorang.

Good luck to us, Helena! :)