Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Syawal empty nests...


I was reading Brother Id's latest entry in his blog just now, and suddenly I felt a lump in my throat. Planning for their Raya Open House, Brother Id and his lovely wife, K.LiL thought of three of their children who would not be celebrating Raya with him and his family in Dubai this year. I really feel for them. And it struck me there and then - how would I cope later in life when it would be my turn to not have all of my children with me under one roof to celebrate Raya?

One day Hanna, Hasya and Hilman will be leaving the nest. One day they will have their very own nests with their own little chickadees. One day they will also have their in-laws' nests to go back to. And one day there will come a time, when ALL three of them might not be able to be home with Ayah and I to celebrate Raya...

But, I guess - wherever they may be, as long as they feel and ALWAYS know that they have our home to come back to anytime they feel like it - no matter what hour of the day or night it is, all year round, no matter if it is Raya or not, it's okay.

As long as they love and respect their spouses and their families like they love and respect me and Ayah, and are willing to spend time away from our family to be with the spouses' family - just as we would wish for their spouses to ALWAYS love and respect us the same way, and willing to do the same, it's okay.

As long as being away from us would mean that they would have a healthy, tolerant and happy relationship with their spouses, it's okay.

As long as they ALWAYS be Mommy and Ayah's Chinchin, Chimin and Chiman - even when they are way over 40 (Yikes!!!), it's okay.

And more importantly - as long as their thoughts, their hearts, and their doas are ALWAYS with me and Ayah all year round, Raya or not, it's okay.

I pray to Allah swt to give my children the strength and wisdom to do and accept what is right when the time comes.

And I pray to Allah swt to give me the strength and wisdom to do and accept what is right when the time comes.

And to all parents out there who are pining for your children this Syawal, wherever you are, wherever your children may be, I pray for your strength and wisdom to be happy....just be happy. Syukur Alhamdulillah for the wonderful and beautiful family that you have, even if you're not physically together...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri. Maaf Zahir Batin. God Bless.

Wassalam.
* Picture taken on 1st Syawal last year - Mak's place in Section 17, PJ *
From left - Ayah, Hasya Chimin, Hilman Chiman, Hanna Chinchin, and Mommy

26 comments:

idham said...

wanshana....:) thanks for linking back to my entry...it was a feeling not felt before. a moment of reflection and expression - much like what u did in doing ur own entry here.....
and a couple of phone calls, strings of words of reaasurance - ridding of guilt and pinings....and we are back to being happy again.

i wish u a bright, happy, wonderful and blessed future with ur lovely children...

head about, "I am ok - if you are ok". that was very much the feeling i had....

SELAMAT HARI RAYA to YOU and FAMILY...MAAF ZAHIR BATIN.

TQ FOR THE FRIENDSHIP.

Idham

Mahariz said...

may i have in-laws with a mentality like yours.

not that i am stating an intention to marry any of your daughters. hahaha.

selamat hari raya!

Ayah said...

What, Kudo?!!! Marry my daughters???!!!

Hehehe... For any interested parties, u can use this blog to advertise urself (make sure jual baik punye!)...but only after Hanna & Hasya have turned 21..or is it 23? This one I have to discuss with their Mommylah. Applicants will be shortlisted for a series of rigorous interviews. Pls bring along up-to-date bank statements. Those with Swiss bank accounts will stand a better chance. For hantaran, pls include 2 sets of keys..1 for a cool beemer n the other for a nice mansion.

Hehehe...

P.S. Err, Mommy dear...I feel so old after reading ur postinglah... Hanna's UPSR result is this 15 Nov, btw.... ;p

WANSHANA said...

Brother Idham,

You're most welcome - my pleasure.

And thank you for the well wishes.

Here's wishing you and K.LiL and the family a joyous Aidil Fitri in Dubai. I'm sure it'll be one heck of a meriah Raya do for you all, especially for the kids.

And ditto - thank you for the friendship! :D

P/S : Ada kambing golek tak masa Open House? ;-)

WANSHANA said...

Mahariz @ Kudo,

After reading Ayah's comment, I'm sure you DON'T want in-laws like us!!! Hahahaha!

Welcome home to the land of lemang and rendang, and ketupat and the lot!

Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin.

WANSHANA said...

Errr, Ayah...

After their Degree, nak kena ambik professional exams, then Masters and then PhD dulu, segala right? Then kena dok rumah with us for at least 2 years, right?

And make it FOUR sets of keys - one for the beemer (for you?!), one for the mansion for our daughter, one for the Cooper - also for our daughter and one for the Jag (for me!)

Hahaha!

And Ayah - we ARE old, by the way...

IBU said...

Mommy oh mommy,

Selamat hari raya to you & family. Maaf zahir batin ek? I nak cari besan yg pandai masak... hehehe...

Ayah,

I have access to amongst world's best practices on "Select The Best" tool kit, it comes complete with assessment centre & psychometric test too. So if you need my help, sila dial nombor yg tertera in your phone address book. Pengeras nya, itu kunci, satu bagi saya. Hehehe...

WANSHANA said...

Ibu oh Ibu...

You nak berbesan dengan Jamie Oliver ke, or with Chef Wan?! If with THE Chef Wan, errrr... his daughter is too old for your boys, no? But, if with THIS Chef Wan - bisa diatur, babe... Hehehee!!!

Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin to you, your Ayah and your three handsome heroes.

Hope you all will have one heck of a fantabulous raya! Berhati-hati di jalan raya and jangan tersedak makan serbuk biskut raya...

Take care.

Ayah said...

Hahaha...Ibu oh ibu...

Tq for ur tips n advice. Nombor fon calon bakal besan takkanlah tak tau...

In 10-15 years time, we all nak buat gempaq punye reality show called 'The Menantu' or 'Malaysia's Next Top Menantu' or something like that lah. It's 10x harder than all da Survivor series put together! Kalau Donald or Tyra tengok sure nganga!

Hehehe... or shall we call it 'The Besan'??? (Tips...one of the challenges kena pandai nyanyi Linkin Park's 'What I've Done' ..yg ni Mak Aji & Tok Aji sure score full marks!!!) ;p

WANSHANA said...

Ayah,

Mak Aji and TOK Aji?!!!

Aduhhhh...sure kena saman dengan Saba ni...

idham said...

:) came back and has to say....."nice family photo there"
ada class...


idham

WANSHANA said...

Thanks, Brother Idham.

Hehehe! Ada class?!

Ha-ah... ye la kot - 3rd Class...Hahaha!

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

selamat hari raya to you, Ayah, Hanna, Hasya and Hilman!

Have a wonderful Raya.

Lawa nya gambar!

kak ton said...

Hi Shana,

What a lovely family photo! First time nampak gambar ayah. Boleh tahan!

Shana your kids are very goodlooking. Good combination lah!

Hanna's gonna be a heartbreaker, I tell ya. So will Hasya... sungguh ayu. And Hilman, ayo so handsome.

(Ahem... I have two grand daughters. They aint bad looking. Lol!)

Anyway, here's wishing you and your lovely family a Selamat Hari Raya.

Maaf zahir & batin.

WANSHANA said...

Dear K.Ena,

Thank you, thank you... :)

Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin to you, too.

Hope you'll have a fabulous Raya.

Pagi Raya @ Section 16 ke?

Take care, K.Ena.

WANSHANA said...

Dear K.Ton,

Thank you, you're too kind!

Ayah boleh tahan? Kalah Shah Rukh Khan ke?! Hahaha! Anyway, people say our kids follow his looks - so, I guess I cannot take the credits lah kan? Hehehe...

Two lovely granddaughters, and I only have one son! So how?! Tricky...tricky... :)

Here's wishing you and your family a Smashing and Happy Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin.

Take care, K.Ton :D

MAMAMIA said...

Wanshana,

Jauhnya mengelamun...

I guess it's normal for us kan. Once in a while we fall into that "Siapalah yang akan jadi bakal2 menantu kita?" mode. Than we'll start worrying over nothing.. Let's just pray the best for our kids. Jodoh tu kan di tangan Allah.

Here, wishing you 'Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin'.

WANSHANA said...

Mamamia,

Tu lah kan? Mothers will be always be mothers...

Tak pernah terfikir pun sebelum ni coz' 'kampung' both sides are merely 15-20 minutes from our place. Raya pun, alhamdulillah - no problem. We took it for granted that nanti anak-anak pun will be the same, and will settle down with KLites.

Suddenly it crossed my mind - what if bakal besan nun jauh tak tau kat mana?

It's just something that we have to prepare ourselves, I guess.

Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin, to you, too!

Take care :D

Ayah said...

Mommy dear...

Hanna is still 11 lah (tho she looks like 18!) and we are not even 40 (yet!), so please...

Let's treat them as they are now. Don't want to miss their childhood days...

WANSHANA said...

Ayah,

I know...I know...

It's just me - can't help thinking just how fast they grow.

Let's enjoy them while they still don't mind being hugged and kissed, etc, eh? ;)

Mior Azhar said...

Wanshana,
Salam Aidilfitri. I'm Azian's MrgGoodthingshome blog husband.
I apologise on behalf of my wife and thank you for your kind word in her blog. She's rather sick at the moment, nak bangun pun tak larat... gastrik pula dihujung2 puasa ni.
Just like Id, you have a beautiful family there.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri to you and family. (Dah lama teringin nak beraya pakai baju sedondon like yours but never got around to do it... he he)

Ayah said...

What?! They are already running away from me at the thought of being hugged and kissed by their ayah!

And yes..they are growing up too fast.. (sigh)

WANSHANA said...

Dear Mior Azhar,

Thank you for dropping by.

Oh dear...I hope Azian gets better soon. Please do convey my salam and get well wishes to her ya... Didoakan she'll be back - up, out and about, by Raya, insya Allah.

And thank you for your kind words. You've got a beautiful family, too. I've seen pics of your princesses in Azian's blog - they're gorgeous!

Baju sedondon because every raya my MIL would buy kain sedondon for the kids - so Ayah and I thought, "Why not?" and we all pun join the club... Just for fun :D

Take care, and my warmest salam to Azian, please. Thanks.

Selamat Hari Raya to you, Azian and your adorable princesses and Maaf Zahir Batin.

WANSHANA said...

Ayah,

They're running away because of your stubbles lah... The kids get very ticklish when you hug them. But, the funny thing is, Hasya doesn't allow you to shave your beard off!

So how?!

refugee said...

assalammualaikum ...

kak shana and family ...

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!!

Maaf Zahir Batin ...

our hugs to the kiddies and salam to abang haizal ...

take care and missing you guys this raya!

wassalam ...

WANSHANA said...

Waa'laikumussalam Murni,

Thank you, dear - Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin to you, Hilmi, Iman and Irfan, too.

Halalkan makan minum and ampun maaf should there be any wrongdoings on my/our - yang sengaja or yang tak tersengaja... :)

We'll be thinking of you guys!

Hugs and kisses to you and your handsome princes.

Take care, dear