Saturday, December 5, 2009

7:35p.m, 1st December 2009...

It was last Tuesday evening. 1st December 2009.

Hanna was attending her school's Kem Tahan Lasak Programme in UM, while Hasya and Hilman were at their Wan's house in PJ, as they were supposed to have their Mengaji class there that evening.

I was supposed to join Ayah and his staff for Dinner at The Cu*ve, so, after work I drove back to SD as I didn't have any proper attire for the dinner kept at my MIL's. The plan was for me to leave the house after Maghrib and drive to Tr*pi*cana Medical Centre, leave my car there and Ayah and I would be going to The Cu*ve in his car.

Just before Maghrib, I received a call from Ustadz saying that he was not well, hence the Mengaji class had to be cancelled. I got ready right after solat. As I got into the car a few minutes later, fearing that I might forget later, I decided to call my MIL to inform her that the kids' Kelas Mengaji had been cancelled, and for her to tell the kids. I must have tried calling her for about 5 minutes before she finally answered - she was praying before that.

After making the call, I looked at the clock. It was 7:18p.m. I started driving to Kota Damannara using the Sungei Buloh back route/jalan lama. It was raining quite heavily, and I was driving slowly - with my wipers on continuous medium swiping mode.

By 7:35p.m, I was on Persiaran Surian with McD and Pi*za Hut on my left side, and Ayah's hospital was just about 1.5km away. I was on a 4-lane road heading towards SPK Sunway Damansara/Mutiara Damansara, etc., and was approaching the T-junction going to Uptown Kota Damansara/Selangor Science Park. The two right-most lanes are dedicated lanes for those going right to Uptown Kota Damansara and they were on red-light then, while the 3rd and 4th lanes were on green-light, and I was on the 3rd lane.

This is my tempat lalu-lalang as my parents are staying in KD, and Ayah's hospital is also there, and I am very familiar and comfortable with the area and roads and all. But, what happened after that had left me badly shaken even until now. I don't think I'll be able to drive through that stretch of road again without thinking of what happened there that night.

Right at the traffic light, as I was passing through the green-light (which apparently is on green 24/7), out of nowhere, a motorcyclist came from the Uptown direction from my right, crossing straight in front of me heading towards the flats on my left. Mind you, it's a T-junction, and there was no road opening to my left.

He gave me a shock of my life, and there was no way I could have avoided hitting him. I barely managed to press on the brakes and I knocked him straight on his left side. He literally crashed on my windscreen and fell to the right side of my car, onto the road.

I was just so numbed, but I managed to manouvre my car slowly to the left and park it there. I got out of the car, fearing the worst. It was a middle-aged man, probably in his early 50's and he was lying on the road, groaning. And bleeding really badly. His left foot was seriously injured - it must have been crushed between my kangaroo bar and his bike on impact.

The first thing I did was to call Ayah. Believe it or not, I actually forgot how to use my phone right at that moment. I was trembling non-stop, in the middle of the road, in the pouring rain. I forgot that I had Ayah's number on my speed dial, and I was trying to remember how to change my display to the "keypad" mode! Even when I had the keypad on, I actually forgot Ayah's number! It was only after nearly a minute that I remembered to call Ayah through speed dialing!

Right after calling Ayah, I tried calling 999 for the ambulance. Again, I just could not change my phone function to "keypad" mode, and I was struggling for about a minute before I got through, and gave the operator my details and the location of the accident.

By then, there was already a crowd gathering around the old man, and some of them started shouting at me, asking me to bring him to the hospital in my car and not wait for the ambulance. One of them even shouted out, "You bawak dia dalam you punya kereta la! You ada kereta. Mau tunggu ambulan jugak ka? You mau tunggu dia mati ka??!"

Imagine how I was feeling at that moment.

I was not in a state to drive as I was still terribly shaken. I was trembling like a leaf. By the look of his injuries, I don't think anybody in the right mind would want to move the poor guy. And I don't think my Kembara would be able to accomodate him, not with the injuries he had sustained.

I had never been so scared in my life.

A few men then took me to the side and asked me to stay calm and stay with them, while we waited for the ambulance to come. The other crowd was getting impatient and kept asking me if I had called the ambulance. I had in fact called the ambulance twice, and a few of the passers-by had also called for it a few times.

I felt such a relief when I saw Ayah arriving in his car with one of his nurses and and also a staff from TMC. Ayah asked me if I was okay before attending to the old man. He was conscious throughout the ordeal, but I dare not go near him, and I was advised by some of the men around me not to do so.

What I couldn't believe was the fact that the 999 people actually called me THREE times after that to ask me again where exactly the scene of the accident was. THREE times. That was excluding the time when I first made the call to them and explained to them clearly where we were.

The police came nearly half an hour after that, about 8:10p.m, and the ambulance came around 8:15p.m. They must have been stuck in the traffic jam caused by the rain. All throughout the waiting time, I was praying for the old man to be alright. It felt like the longest half an hour of my life...

What was perplexing was the fact that I could actually look at the injuries, and the blood without feeling faint at all throughout the half an hour he was lying on the road. I am one who normally can't even stand the sight of a single drop of blood, and could faint just by looking at blood. Heck, I can't even visit anyone sick without feeling faint. That's just me. But, that night, syukur alhamdulillah, I was okay. It was until the man was taken into the ambulance to be brought to the hospital, that I started to feel dizzy.

After the ambulance left, Ayah asked his staff to drive his car back to the hospital, while Ayah drove my car to the Balai Polis Traffic in Kota Damansara. We made the Police Report and later was brought back to the scene in a police car where I gave the police my account of what happened.

Later I was told that those residing at the flats normally would take a short-cut from the Industrial Park straight to the flat, as they didn't want to make a U-turn further down the road. There was even a makeshift bridge crossing the drain going to the residential area at that spot.

By the time we were done at the Station, it was already about 9:45p.m. Ayah drove us to his hospital in my car. He had to review a few patients, and I waited for him in his office. And while waiting, I decided to call the hospital which the motorcylist had been sent to. Unfortunately, they could not reveal any information via the phone, and had asked me to go and see him myself if I wanted to know his condition.

I told the nurse who answered my call that I was the one who had hit him, and I just wanted to know if he was alright. If he was alive. And she said, "Yes, he's alive". I then asked her if his injuries were serious, and she said, "We can't tell you that. But, biasa lah accident macam ni..." So, I don't really know how he is exactly up until now.

I wanted to go and visit him the next day, but, I was advised not to, as the family might still be riding high on emotions. Even though it was entirely his fault, we can never know how they might react knowing that I was the one who knocked him down. But everyday, I pray for him to be well.

Anyway, that night, we left my car at Ayah's hospital and we had dinner at one of the gerais in SD before going back home. We decided that I would be in no state to drive for a few days, and my car would be sent to the workshop anyway. So, I would be immobile, and the best thing was to put up at my MIL's place. Ayah was to fly to Bangkok on Friday, too, and it was best for everybody to be in PJ.

So, we packed all our clothes and necessities to last us for at least a week stay in PJ, and by the time we reached my MIL's it was already 12:30a.m.

It just so happened that my BIL and his family are away in Perth until 15th December and his driver (Za*di) was at my MIL's disposal until then. And as she herself already has her own driver, Za*di has been heaven-sent as he has been the one driving me and the kids around in the last few days.

My car is already out of the workshop, but, it's only 98% back to normal. There are a few dents here and there which they could not repair, and my kangaroo bar is not really its old self anymore. I have yet to drive my car again since the accident. Masih terbayang-bayang how I hit him and how he crashed on my windscreen and all. And most of all, masih terbayang-bayang his injuries...

Even though I know that it was not my fault, I still feel so guilty for causing him such injuries...

I kept on thinking of all the "what-ifs", and "if it wasn't for, etc.,"... which could have made the accident avoidable.

If only I hadn't made the phonecalls to my MIL before leaving the house, and reaching that spot 5 minutes earlier, the accident might have not happened.

If only I had used the LDP way, instead of the Sungei Buloh way, the accident might not have happened.

If only I had brought my attire for the dinner to my MIL's house earlier on, and not having to go back to SD first, the accident might not have happened.

And it goes on and on and on...

But, I also believe that semuanya dah tersurat , and that whatever differences that might have happened that night, I would still be there right at THAT moment and be involved in that accident.

Setiap yang terjadi ada hikmahnya. Even though I may not see it now, insya Allah I will in the future.

But, whatever that has happened, I bersyukur to Allah SWT - HE has kept me safe in HIS Hands that night...Syukur alhamdulillah.

And I pray for the man's full recovery, insya Allah.


MHB said...

firstly, syukur alhamdulillah that you are ok and the man insya-Allah, will be fine too... we pray for him..

but sis, please don't torture yourself with the what if's... like you said, semuanya dah tersurat -- precisely at a certain time on a certain day...

you take it easy now...

Mrs.A said...

I am glad you are fine Kak Shana. A reminder to be more careful? As u said, in time you will see it prolly. Take care.

kay_leeda said...

Hope you are feeling okay now. Take your time to recover from the shock. It was ketentuan Nya that the accident happened. InshaAllah, it brings out the strength is you.

You take care yah.

kei glass said...

Take care Sharina! i am so sorry about your worry and fears. take it easy and just keep praying!

Kmar said...

Shana, I am glad that you and the victim are OK. Kadang-kadang kita bawa kereta dengan cermat, orang lain tak cermat, kemalangan juga.

So, whatever it is, we learn our lesson well and it will be a reminder... not only to you but to us yang bawa kereta (including me). Insyallah you won´t come across this kind of bad experience in future.

You know what I use to do if I feel ´bad´ about myself or situation? I sedekah kat rumah anak-anak yatim or poor people. Tak kisah la, beras ke, gula ke, duit ke.... You will feel good since those people yang terima your sedekah (insyallah) will doakan your kesejahteraan.

Anonymous said...

My prayers for you & that guy...hope you both will recover ASAP. One of my mimpi ngeri is either 'dilanggar' or 'melanggar' orang lain..semoga Allay melindungi kita semua esp. on the road!

Amy said...

Owh Kak Shana ***HUGS*** Berkaca-kaca mata Amy baca (siap melopong masa part he fell on your windscreen)..if it were me (yg sememeh ni), I would have cried the moment I called B to inform and the moment your Ayah sampai, I would have hugged him and cried some more :P..aduih. Syukur sangat Kak Shana tak apa2..I know you're still shocked. Hang in there ye kak, doa banyak2 **Mowahs**

wanshana said...

Dear MHB,

Thank you.

Yes, I know - no point to ponder on the what-ifs. I just need to gather my semangat back, and continue with my daily routine soon.


Mrs A,

Thanks, dear. Yes - we have to be extra, extra careful always.

I'm embracing everything, and insya Allah will see the hikmah one day.


Dear Kay,

I'm feeling much better now, thank you.

It is indeed fated that I had to go through the experience. There are lessons to learn from it indeed.

You take care, too!

wanshana said...

Hi Kat,

Thanks, and I will. I still am a bit traumatized, but, in time I'll be fine.

* Where are you guys spending Christmas?



Thank you.

It's true, no matter how careful we are, if others are reckless out there, accidents will always happen. So, we all need to be extra, extra cautious when we're on the road.

Insya Allah I will follow your advice on helping others to tenangkan jiwa ni...

Thanks again, Kmar.


Dear Rad,

Thank you...Amin...Amin.

We always do'a that these things do not happen to us, kan? But, they are really out of our hands.

Thanks again.



Thanks, dear.

Bila fikirkan balik, I was quite calm considering. I think I didn't break down when Ayah came because he was extremely calm about the whole thing, too. So, that helped.

But, I memang still terbayang-bayang how he crashed on my windscreen tu sampai sekarang.


Madam Tai Tai Again said...

Oh..Shana..poor you. I'm glad nothing happened to you, and I hope the man will be fine soon.

Malang tak berbau, apa nak buat. You nak tukar macam2 sebelum kejadian tu pun tak boleh, as it is meant to happen.

Take care and hope your 'semangat' will come back again.

wanshana said...

Gina @ MTTnM,

Thanks, dear. Yes, syukur alhamdulillah I'm okay. Thank God I was not speeding, if could have been a different story altogether. I just can't imagine the kind of injuries the man might have sustained, if so.

But, rasa ralat sangat coz' even though I was careful, jadik jugak accident tu :(

I thought of driving to work today - it's less than 10 minutes ajer from my MIL's, but Ayah's still not keen on the idea.

Thanks again, Gina. You take care, too :)

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Syukur you selamat and the man also selamat. It as not your fault. Altho the crowd didn't help but thank Allah SWT for the few good samaritans who recognised that you were in distress too.

Take care.

wanshana said...

Dear Cik Puan Kamil,

Thank you. Yes, syukur alhamdulillah... It could have been worse, I guess.

The group who was basically 'protecting' me was indeed a great help, especially in keeping me calm. They even advised me to hold on to my handbag bebetul, and lock the car, etc, just in case ada yang ambik kesempatan and take things from the car, etc. Yes, I am thankful for that.

You take care, too, dear.

Anonymous said...

baru-baru ni pun ada kereta yang tiba-tiba lintas depan I, seolah-olah jalan tu dia punya.. cuma i bernasib baik sempat brek mengejut and kereta belakang i pun sempat brek. masa tu i memang terbayang yang i pasti langgar that car, (because the situation, semua kereta sedang laju)entah macam mana boleh sempat brek... eventhough tak langgar, peristiwa tu masih terbayang.. so, i know how you feel

Anonymous said...

Wherever you are , be strong, sis. There is a blessing in disguise...

bella said...

Kak, Huggssss....

I hope you are ok, I totally get your traumatic feeling now, be calm, We also doa that the guy will recover fast. Benda nak jadi Kak. Nasib baik Mr. Doc is nearby. try to drive again immediately nanti ok, that's the only way to recover from this.
Take care ye. Salam Kak

Anonymous said...

SHANA !!!!!!


anom said...

Syukur alhamdullillah K. Shana that you are alright and hope the other guy is also going to be alright..

Memang bila dah kemalangan gini, will take some time for you to regain your semangat balik nak drive semula.. Hope you remain strong, insyallah semuanya akan ok.. Take care kak.. I will keep on praying for you..

Mior Azhar said...

Syukur you are okay... memang you'll feel traumatic, who wouldn't. Hope the old man is okay too. Take care

Formerly known as Superwomanwannabe! said...

a very belated BIG Hug from me and I can imagine the relief when Hubs appeared and the terrible shock it was to you...

Mak i would have been a total jelly so you did well my dear! And kudos toyou to want to go, i'd probably just go too!

Take care adn take it easy.