Thursday, October 16, 2008

Ooops! She did it again...

Syukur alhamdulillah. Ayah, Hasya and Hilman have completed their Puasa Enam today, and myself - I've also completed my Puasa Qadha'. So, that leaves Hanna as the only one who has not completed her 6th day.

Hanna was supposed to fast with us today so that we could all "celebrate raya" together, but, she and her friends had plans to go to the movies, and then lunch in between today. The Form One pupils of her school were given three days off because of the PMR exams, and the girls had been planning for this outing since last week.

The plan was -

(i) I would send Hanna, Hasya and Hilman to their Wan's house in the morning, before going to the office.

(ii) Na*ia Ra*li would fetch Hanna (with her Mom's driver) from Mak's house and they would go to The Cu*ve and Ci*el*isure together.

(iii) There, Ni*a's Mom would be waiting for them - and she would be their chaperone for the day.

(iv) They would watch one movie at 11:00a.m.

(v) Have lunch

(vi) Then - another movie at 2:45p.m.

(vii) Hanna was then supposed to go back to El*nna's house with El*nna's Mom, and they would go to their Tuition Class together.

(viii) Ayah and I would fetch Hanna from Tuition and bring her home with us to SD.

Everything from (i) until (vi) was okay, and Hanna was sending text messages to me throughout the day updating me on her activities with her friends, and every now and then she would call me, or I would call her just to make sure that Ni*a's Mom was there with them.

I was suppposed to call El*nna's Mom yesterday to confirm (vii) above, and ask if she was okay with the afternoon's arrangement, but, I was so bogged down with work and stuff, I totally forgot about it! And I only managed to call El*nna's Mom at around 4:15p.m to ask if she was okay with the arrangement, and if not, I would fetch the girls myself.

Imagine how surprised I was when SHE was surprised to know that SHE was supposed to fetch the TWO girls from The Cu*ve. Apparently, El*nna had NOT asked her whether Hanna could follow her home, and SHE did not even know that she was supposed to be at The Cu*ve at 5p.m to bring them home! But, she did say that El*nna would call her when they were done so that she could fetch her from The Cu*ve.

Even though she was okay with Hanna going over to their place, and sending Hanna to Tuition with El*nna and all, I felt like an idiot. I guess, it was also my fault. I should have called and confirmed everything yesterday...but, as I said, I was just too bogged down with stuff, and only managed to call her today.

Right after speaking to Da*in Fu*iah, I immediately called Hanna, and she got a mighty SEMBUR from her Mommy, right, left and centre. But, Hanna herself was surprised because according to her, she had asked El*nna whether her Mom was okay about the whole thing, and El*nna told her that she had asked her Mom and her Mom had given the greenlight!

Hmmmmm, I really don't know.

This brings me back to a similar incident last year.

But, this time around I know that Hanna had genuinely thought El*nna had sought her Mom's permission, etc. I could sense her exasperation towards El*nna while I was semburing her just now. In a way, I should have called El*nna's Mom yesterday just to be sure. My fault, my mistake.

By then, it was too late to come up with an alternative plan as at the last minute, Mak's driver SMSd me saying that he could not fetch Hasya and Hilman from school. Meaning I would have to fetch Hasya and Hilman at 5:50p.m. Obviously I could not go and fetch the girls from The Cu*ve at the same time, could I? And I was just about to ask my SIL to fetch them when Hanna SMSd me saying that El*nna's mom would drive them back.

Anyway, at 6:05p.m, while driving back from SS* to Mak's house, I got an SMS from Hanna telling me that she and El*nna were on their way back to El*nna's house with Ka*'s Dad! Lagi lah I bengang...coz' I had not called Ka*'s parents pun to ask if they were okay to bring Hanna to El*nna's! Macam I ni tak ada adab lah pulak. Even though, I know both of Ka*'s parents quite well, tak sedap la when benda-benda macam ni happens.

It is just so not me - not calling the relevant parents in advance. But, I guess after what happened last year, I was so sure that Hanna would make doubly sure that all the arrangement for today's outing would be air-tight. My fault.

Right at the moment of writing this, Hanna is still at the Tuition Centre.

And Ayah and I have decided to tell her in the car nanti that she's not allowed to go for any outings lagi - INDEFINITELY. Until further notice.

Hmmmmm.... macam deja vu pulak...

17 comments:

Ummi365 said...

Urghhh sounds familiar.. yeah I do too get worried when someone's else fetch my kids, are they okay ke , are they agreable ke, or are they terpaksa. memang bab2 macam ni I will tanya berkali2...

baru je kejap ni my son came home at 8pm sent by his friend's father lepas beraya.. tak ke i mengamuk sebab menyusahkan orang.

kudo said...

can't wait to have kids. :D

Ayah said...

Kudo

Before that, you have to first....get married! So when laa?

;p

MA & Brood said...

Woo..I can imagine! My daughter first asking for a "girl's day out" when she first masuk Form One lah - but it is only for a swim, games etc and hang around at the friend's condo. So I hantar at 9 am and her father would fetched at 5 pm.

By mid afternoon when I called to check to confirm that I am coming - she said that the friend asked if she could stay overnight for a pyjama party.


Oops...that was not in the early agreement. So obviously it's a no-go lah kan. Her friend pleaded to me, but I just said No.


Then couple of months later, the same friend ajak gi movies - I just give a flat no. I told her she can only go is Abang is chaperoning her. Of course la dia tak nak kan - and knowing Abang, mati hidup balik pun he wouldn't want to babysit a bunch of giggly girls!


As for now - I masih belum bagi my girl to go out with the friends lagi on an outing. I still think she is not ready for such responsibility. But Abang, I dah start bagi - however only on certain occassions i.e lepas exams etc
I told them that when I give them certain privileges that involves a certain degree of freedom, it comes with responsibilities. Kalau breach my trust, then the privileges are revocable.


This is one of the new experiences of being a parent to teenagers. I pun masih trial and error ni. Seram sejuk gak ni - cos handling teenagers is more challenging than handling the little ones!


Good luck!

wanshana said...

Ummi365,

Thanks for hopping by! :)

Tu lah tu, kan? Bebudak ni selalu make their own plans without thinking whether their parents are okay with the plans. And they ALWAYS think that we could just drop everything and ikut ajer their demands there and then!

I would normally confirm with all parents involved - just to make sure that at least one of them will be with the kids at ALL time. In fact, I could say that 8 out of 10 outings, Ayah and I would volunteer to chaperone them. We'd rather have all of them under our nose, than under other parents' noses. Like you, I'd rather menyusahkan diri I than menyusahkan orang lain.

But, somehow yesterday - just that one last parent I didn't manage to call earlier...

By the way, I'm one of your silent readers ;)

wanshana said...

Kudo,

Can't wait to makan Nasi Minyak you... ;)

wanshana said...

Ayah,

Ada calon for Kudo, or not? Shall we start kegiatan 'merisik' for him?! Hehehe!

(No offence meant, Kudo :))

wanshana said...

MA,

Thank you for the good luck wish. I need that.

Ni baru my eldest daughter yang baru 12 tahun. Nak kena tunggu berapa tahun lagi ya to give her total freedom? Tu dok ada lagi 2 orang yang kenit lagi tu.

I think you're doing the right thing by not allowing your girl out with her friends.

I ni tak sampai hati lah pulak coz' she dah exposed to all these outing activities for the last 1 1/2 years ni. But, of course, in the last 15 months ni, this is the third time she had been grounded.

Normally, the grounding period would be 2-3 months + we take back her HP + NO INTERNET (or VERY limited internet) : depending on the severity of the case.

Only once or twice yang I let her go out with her friends (with other adults/parents' supervision). The rest of her outings - BOTH Ayah and I were with them.

* I can just imagine your Abang's reaction if he was asked to chaperone his sister (and her bunch of giggly friends!). Hahaha!

MrsNordin said...

Hee.. hee... this reminds me of those days when our girls were younger ~ 13-14 y.o. That time, all they wanted to do was go out with their friends. All these logistics problems, they all tak kisah. In the end, kena grounded, macam ni lah!

Shana, it'll take a long time for them to get it right in their head that it's important for them to let us know exactly what happen. Where they're going, who's picking them up.

My eldest, sampai dah pegi matrics baru she got it in her head. Kalau tidak tu, everytime dia keluar, mesti I risau entah apa plan dia buat. Planning memang pandai, but her execution is very poor! All the time kena double check with the friends' parents. It's not good either, macam kita tak trust our own daughter pulak.

Anyway, a few more times kena reprimand like this, Hanna will eventually get it. Hee.. hee... sabar je lah...!

Waterlily said...

Shana

bukan anak pompuan jer..anak bujang I yang 11 tahun tu pun lebih kurang macam tu jugak lah..dia plan sesama geng dia jer..ok tu ok ni...last sekali baru bagi tau parents. So most of the time I have to say No lah.

Ada sekali tu dia naaak sangat pegi PENANG ngan kawan dia..sampai mak kawan dia called I. Penang??? Jauh nyer laa hai..still I said no, thank you. Setakat ni dia pegi rumah neighbor kitaorang je lah.. :) And we have his friends over to our house kekadang..

wanshana said...

BJ,

I hope so, BJ...I hope so.

At least it's somewhat "comforting" to know that I'm not the only one with this problem.

But, rasa a bit frustrated because she didn't seem to learn from her mistakes. Ni dah masuk 3 kali kena grounded ni! Nak kena tunggu lagi 10 kali lagi ke? Adoiii... But, yes, kena sabo ajer ler...

But, as I said, I'm partly to be blamed for not calling the girl's Mom earlier :(

Whatever it is, the punishment still stands.

wanshana said...

Waterlily,

Bagus punya plan anak bujang you! Hehehe!

But, I think when it comes to outing-outing with friends ni, lagi risau when it comes to anak-anak pompuan kita kot?

I selalu nampak groups of teenage girls or boys melepak-lepak kat shopping malls without any adults with them, and sometimes a mixture of girls and boys in the groups.

The first thing that came to my mind would be - "Manalah mak bapak bebudak pompuan ni...", and never "Manalah parents bebudak lelaki ni")...

Risau to think that other people would also think the same things when they see anak-anak pompuan I menebeng with friends without any supervision.

jabishah said...

Aiyoo kak shana,

In another few years time, kepala I pening mcm ni lah ye... 4 tu nak handle anak dara. Takpa lah I will volunteer as their chauffeur. Kan mama diorg ni unemployed... or I simply join them gi melepak tgk wayang,bowling etc. OK? Hehehe..

bella said...

Since we belum ada anak lagi, tak tahu nak cakap apa...but, I guess, at 12, sense of responsibility and logistics matters are not yet primordial for them.I hope she will learn and we will see her progress and learn too from you!hehe

wanshana said...

Ja,

Bersiap sedialah dari sekarang. I think they start younger and younger nowadays. So, you might face similar situations, sooner than you expect kot?

Tapi, insya Allah, if family values are strong, and didikan agama sound - anak-anak kita will be alright. Amin. Insya Allah.

Yes, do that! Join them in all of their outings. Besides being able to keep an eye on them personally, sooner or later, they might think twice about going for another outing with friends...Hehehe! (Coz' tak cool lah kalau Mak asyik menebeng! Hahaha!)

But, seriously, I wouldn't mind being my kids' full-time chauffeur.

wanshana said...

Bella,

Don't let this put you off the idea of having kids! Hehehe!

Even with all the worries and the headaches that come with being parents, I wouldn't trade my place with anyone. Kids - they're worth every single worry, every single headache :) They are such joy! (except when you're having PMS, and they start to create havoc in every possible way...)

No need to learn from me, dear. Once you become a Mom, you'll be a natural. Your instinct will carry you through, insya Allah.

So, any idea as to when those little pitter patter of those little feet coming? :)

kudo said...

haizal, kalau nak carik - i want half-japanese, tau main guitar, tau masak and kena cun. the rest of the CV nanti boleh email aku. by the way, i also require three referees, and the candidate's CV in triplicate.