Thursday, October 23, 2008

Stressed out...

Today - It feels like everybody takes it for granted that I could attend a last minute meeting that lasted for 5 damn hours.

Today - I realize that more often than not people think that what I have to do is not as important as what they have to do.

Today - I realize that people think that I have all the time in the world to do things for them.

Today - I realize that I always take it for granted that everything will always go according to plan. But, obviously it doesn't.

I was supposed to focus on a certain piece of work from 11:00a.m until 6:00p.m today.

But, this morning poor Hilman woke up with a terrible cough. Apparently he has croup and he has been coughing incessantly since morning.

I had to leave him at Mak's for a while as I had to attend a meeting at 9:00a.m.

Went back at 10:30a.m to fetch and bring Hilman to see Dr. Mu*a at 11:15a.m. and we only got all the prescribed medicines and only left the hospital at 1:00p.m.

Went back to the office at 1:15, only to be told that there was a last minute urgent meeting that I had to attend.

The meeting lasted for 5 hours. FIVE DAMN HOURS!

Went back - exhausted.

Had to send Hanna to Tuition at 7:45p.m.

Poor Hanna. I was so stressed out that I snapped at her when she asked me if she could go to the MPH Warehouse Sale.

I gave her a curt, "NO!"

And she asked, "Why?"

Another curt reply from me - "Who's going to bring you there?"

She replied - "You?"

And yet another curt reply of "I don't have time", from me.

And I felt so, so bad after that :(

Tonight - I will not be sleeping as I need to finish whatever it is that I was supposed to finish this afternoon.

Tonight - I need a lot of luck. And a LOT of coffee...

And tomorrow, I will make it up to her...

But, you know what? Whatever it is that I've written here - things are not going to change. People will still take me for granted... And I will still have a lot of "stressed out" days ahead of me to deal with.

35 comments:

ariffin said...

*sigh* hope u have a good rest tonight and wake up feeling lot better tomorrow.
one of those days. and yes, i think i know how u felt after the little dialogue with ur daughter.

Udinb said...

It happened to me too .... and can be to anybody. Masalah sejagat.

We sometime can be carried away by our office 'matters'.

On a more positive note, perkara seumpama ini akan lebih mematangkan kita. All d best wanshana

MoTLeY said...

salam kak shana,

awww ... you poor thing!

insyaALLAH it'll get better ... you're only human and sometimes things can get out of control ... i am sure hanna will understand :)

hope you had a good rest and a cuppa!

chin up and take it easy eh :)

lots of hugs!

:o) me

MrsNordin said...

Take it easy. There are days like this... Have a good weekend!

D.N.A.S said...

Kak Shana kena start belajar jual mahal sikit. Jadi drama queen kat ofis pun takpe. As long as you can make them realize that your time is as precious.

Waterlily said...

I know this sounds so cliche..but nak tulis jugak. Its just a phase dear. Am sure it happened kat mana2 tempat kerja coz kat tempat kerja tu lah ada pelbagai ragam manusia! Tak per Shana, think of it this way. Nasib baik that meeting tu kat KL. Kalau dibuatnya kena attend outstation meeting, kena bermalam lak tu..then bagi tau you last minute, lagi haru!

Your girl would understand I'm sure. Bebudak ni, lembut hati. You senyum and peluk dia, ok la tu.

ms hart said...

Sabar lah ya, Wanshana. Yeah, there are lots of people that think and work that way. They are just being selfish. And you are right, they hardly change. Terpaksalah kita make the best out of the situation.

Hope you are feeling better today, ya. It's FRIDAY!!! Yay!! Chin up, k?!

the principal said...

If only I live nearby, I would love to drive Hanna to the warehouse sale coz I've hardly missed any of MPH warehouse sales..& it's always me, myself & I in the car coz hubby is not an avid reader.

Mior Azhar said...

Shana,
If it is any consolation... the long weekends are here... take a breather and enjoy... (but yes, you are right, people will still stay the way they are...)

Eta My said...

O..O...Shana....napa tuh!...meeting yang lama,..tunggu klinik yang lama..etc..

U musti tersangatlah stressed coz doesn't sound like you....

and to your kids...Hang on....mama need a break..

Senyum selalu dan selamat bergumbira di hujung minggu..

all jazzed up said...

ah, the perils of a working mom. We're such superwomen, aren't we?

wanshana said...

Abang Id,

Thanks. I only went to sleep at 5:30a.m that night/day to finish my work, and woke up at 7:15a.m!

Thought of catching up on my sleep and rest last night, but, my MIL had some makan-makan for her staff in the evening, and after that got news that my eldest brother was admitted to ICU for stroke...

Went to see him last night. Syukur Alhamdulillah, he was conscious and alert, but the doctors are trying to get his pressure down. He went in with a reading of 240/100+!

Came home very late, and woke up as normal. So, can't say I've had a good night rest, but, alhamdulillah - feeling much better, thank you :)

Kept thinking to myself when I saw my brother last night - tak yah stressed out sangat with life. If not, I might end up in the ICU, too...

wanshana said...

udinb,

Thanks. Yes - memang masalah sejagat, and it's quite normal. But those who know me, know that I can take craps thrown at me quite well - I'm naturally a very calm person (except when I have to sit for exams! :))

And I don't say "NO" when I'm asked to do something, even when I know how impossible it could be at times to meet the datelines. But, at least, I have datelines.

Yang tak tahan - dahlah kerja bertimbun, and I'm struggling to meet datelines for MY own work, and suddenly dapat task to settle things which were due 2 days before! Berasap...

But, yeah - all these mematangkan kita, insya Allah. Thanks again :)

wanshana said...

Motley,

Thanks (and thanks for the sweet SMS, too!) It really made me feel better, dear.

Will try to get a good rest and a cuppa today, but by the look of it, malam nanti baru ada chance kot? Open Houses to attend today (and of course today is my Supersupir Day :()

Yup - chin up! (Have to. Kalau tak nampak double-chin I! Hehehe!)

Have not had the chance to arrange something with Hanna and her adek-adek re: MPH sale tu. Hope to bring them this weekend, insya Allah.

It's the long weekend, and I'm definitely taking it easy. You take it easy, too, okay ;)

Miss you loads!

(((((HUGS))))))

wanshana said...

mrsnordin,

Thanks. Yup, just one of those days (which I've been getting A LOT lately!)

You, too, dear - enjoy the long weekend!

wanshana said...

D.N.A.S,

Yeah, maybe I should - tapi nanti sure they all ingat I buang tabiat!

Frankly speaking, I memang tak reti nak jadi Drama Queen or jual mahal. And tak sampai hati to say "No" at work. Tu yang people take advantage of me kot?

I guess I have to start being selfish now...

wanshana said...

Waterlily,

Thanks. Now that you've put it that way, I guess my situation is not as bad as the situation others have to face at their work-place. So, far I have never been asked to attend a last minute meeting outside KL (even though I was asked to standby sekali tu).

The nature of our work ni is quite unique. When it comes to admin work, we each have a portfolio (mostly answerable to the Faculty rather than our HoD), and our colleagues would know what exactly and how much work is involved in that particular portfolio.

It's our own thing which we do outside out admin and teaching load which our colleagues would not know much about. We prepare for and present our papers at different conferences, we write for different journals, and when it comes to publishing, we deal with different publishers. So, we have different datelines to meet, and different workloads from each other throughout the year.

Because of that, they wouldn't know if we all tengah separuh nyawa nak habiskan our kerja or not. But, at least have the courtesy to ask lah kan?

Yeah, bebudak tak simpan dalam hati... In fact, while I'm typing this, Hanna is sprawled on my bed beside me - playing some games on my phone :)

wanshana said...

ms hart,

Yeay!!! Long weekend!!! And I'm making full use of it to make up for lost time with the kids.

It's hard to believe (at least for me lah) that we have not been to One-Ut*ma for nearly a month now! The last time was a couple of days before raya, searching for their raya shoes! So, top of the list - serbu One-Ut*ma! Hehehe...

Yup, have to make the best out of the situation. Thanks, ms hart :)

wanshana said...

The Principal,

Thanks for the thought. That's very sweet of you :)

Insya Allah Ayah and I will be bringing the kids on 27/10 morning ni - hopefully there won't be too big a crowd on a Deepavali morning.

Where do you normally get your books? Border? Kino? MPH? We frequent MPH One-Ut*ma every weekend (except for the last one month ni) So, I bet my kids will tuntut "arrears" kat Warehouse sale ni... Hehehe!

Take care :)

wanshana said...

I meant 'Borders' :)

wanshana said...

Mior,

Yes, thank God for the long weekend! It couldn't have come at a better time. I really need the break.

People will not change 180 degrees, but, it would be nice if they could change just even slightly for the better, kan? Not that I'm saying I don't need to change myself. Of course everybody needs to.

Have a great weekend with Yan and the girls. Tak balik Perak ke?

wanshana said...

Eta,

Thanks :).

Tu lah tu kan? Pelik bin ajaib I boleh stressed out sampai macam tu... Dah bottled up lama sangat lah tu kot...

Dah pulak tu, that day tu macam-macam lah pulak benda crop up which made my plans semua kelam kabut...And my MOST urgent work terbengkalai the whole day.

But, alhamdulillah, berkat tak tido malam tu til' 5:30 pagi, my presentation went VERY well (and I've been asked to consider expanding it and writing a book on the topic!). We'll see how it goes. At the moment - tak menang tangan and kaki lagi.

Enjoy your weekend, dear :)

wanshana said...

Meen @ all jazzed up,

Yup. In fact we're Superwoman AND Superman combined :)

Sometimes we do wonder how on earth we could juggle the million things we have to juggle tu kan?

We are indeed the special ones :) (If only some people don't take us for granted that much...)

the principal said...

Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar owns MPH & Yayasan Bukhary donated lots of money to build a nice mosque for my kampung so I get my books from MPH; usually One U/ Mid Valley. I will always be on the lookout for Penguin/ Scholastic sale as well, a real bargain for children's books....

Madam Tai Tai said...

Hi Shana,

I think it is now your turn to go away on holiday to de-stress! :)

What you have learnt from the 5-hour-meeting experience certainly isn't pleasant but just take that in. Next time, I'm sure you'd be able to tepis whatever last minute things that come your way.

There is a difference between being a team player and being someone who people assume can be 'used'. People just need to understand that difference and I know you will tell them the next time they think they can take you for granted!

IBU said...

Alahai... siannya.

The "one of those days" that I'm sure lots of us working moms wish would not recur too often.

Hope Hilman and your brother are recuperating well. Hope Hasya will get her book today.

Glad the presentation went well. When it's expanded into a book - don't forget I know you before you become famous la eh? Hahaha...

You know the few numbers to call for de-stress sessions ya?

I ni pun dah ngada2 start stress thinking about the things I want ... Mcm2 plan ni - MamaMia, Ameer's & Ayah's bday do, 'mid year gals' BIG 4 bday bash, spa, bandung (not the mee), garden, bangsawan, repair leaking roof, etc, etc. Ni belom pasal office.

Not all are achievable. I'll fret over them over late night teh tarik with some close friends one of these days. hahaha....

Hang in there !!!

Spena said...

memang orang selalu take fro granted. but you know something sis - at the end of the day, just breath in and relax. when you review the things that you've gone thru for the day, you feel proud that you managed it well. really well. and most times it gives you a kind of satisfaction deep inside.

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Shana dear,
Siaaaannnyaaaa.... mesti you rasa tension sangat.. so many things to be done.... banyak assignment, Hilman tak sihat and I read in your reply that your brother masuk ICU... alahaii....

About Hanna, I think Hanna knew what was happening. Anak-anak kita ni faham perangai kita... Just make it up for her later or talk to her about your 'predicament'. It helped me whenever I was in the same situation you're in now.

Try to stay 'cool' (tho it's easier said than done)...

Really hope you've got everything sorted out by now :)

Kak Teh said...

wanshana, it is days like this that will make you appreciate other less stressful days, kan?

wanshana said...

The principal,

We get our books from MPH, too. Somehow, we feel more at home and more familiar with the setting there, especially the one at One-U. Borders (at The Curve) tu macam kelam kabut sikit (to me la)

By the way, we finally went to the MPH Warehouse Sale yesterday! Yeay!!!

wanshana said...

Gina,

Yup, you're right...But, I think most of the time it has been me who could not differentiate between being a team player and being used by others...Sigh.

My break will only come at the end of November. From now until then, it's going to be a nightmare - what with 2 datelines for journal publications to meet, students' assignment and exam scripts to mark and all.

I really hope the Semester break in December will give me some breathing space.

wanshana said...

Ibu,

Yes, all the "emergency" numbers are under my "Favourites", thank you :)

Hilman is much better now, albeit he still has to get his puffs, etc. Abang I** is still warded, but, insya Allah today will be moved to the normal ward. His BP still hovers around 170-180 over 100+, though.

EVERYBODY managed to get their books at MPH Warehouse Sale yesterday. Really good bargain, and I think, we would have spent triple the amount if the books were not on sale. So, everybody was happy :)(especially the Financier, I suppose? Hehehe!)

Errr...I pun nak tumpang stress about Mamamia, Bandung, and Birthday celebrations tu, buleh?! :)

Mana boleh lupa kawan... I'll give all the MTs a signed copy each. But, I don't think it'll be an exciting read. More of a bed-time piece kot (unless you're interested to know about Msia'a territorial disputes with her neighbours? ;)

But, of course this can only be realized AFTER my OTHER book siap maaaa....(Double sighs)

Keep me in the loop on the multiple celebrations, okay?

wanshana said...

Spena,

How are you today, dear? Hope you're hanging in there. Keep yourself busy, okay?

Yes, you're right. It did feel good after I managed to finish everything despite the chaotic schedule, etc., and the comments I got after my presentation was the icing on the cake :)

But, I still cannot understand why people always take others for granted. I guess it's just their way of working, or it boils down to their attitude.

Take care.

wanshana said...

Ja,

Thanks. Yes, everything is more or less sorted out now (or at least is getting better).

I didn't get to talk it over with Hanna, but I saw her reading this posting the other day. And I know she understands. She's very mature for her age.

Another headache still there coz' the kids are sitting for their exams, starting with Hanna, this Thursday. So, from Thursday 30/10 until Friday 7/11, I tumbuh tanduk jugak lah. Hehehe!

Take care, Ja :)

wanshana said...

Kak Teh,

Yes, at times like these, I always teringat the times when I was a full-time Mom and wife 12-13 years ago, and not having to deal with office matters.

It was a much less stressful times for me because at that time we only had Hanna. I don't think being a full-time Mom and wife now will be less stressful - now that we have three growing kids. Hehehe...

But, yes, you're right. At times like these, we tend to appreciate other less sressful days more.

Take care, Kak Teh.