Have you ever felt that by not talking or writing about something, it would just go away?
Have you ever felt sometimes, that you just didn't want to talk or write about certain things because you just didn't want to think too much about them? Or you just didn't want to think about them at all? Because when you start talking or writing about them, you would not be able to think straight? Because you would be worried sick?
I went through that for the past two weeks.
I didn't want to talk or write about it, but, as much as I had prayed for it to go away, it is still there. It is not going away. And I have to deal with it. And one way of dealing with it, I realized - is to talk about it, and write about it.
My Abah is having a recurrence of nasopharyngeal cancer or NPC (you can read more about it here and here).
His biopsy results came back positive, and he did a CT Scan soon after that to find out the extent of the cancer. And he was straight away referred to the NPC specialist team at PPUM.
All was done within one week - his ENT appointment, his biopsy test, his CT Scan, and his appointment with the NPC specialist.
The news that the Big C was back shocked us, and we were praying that it was still at an early stage. Syukur alhamdulillah, the scan images showed that the tumor is quite localized, and has not spread to any other parts of his body.
But Abah still needs to undergo treatment, and because he was under the care of KLGH when he had NPC the first time around in 1995-96, he has been advised to go back to KLGH. Apparently he would have to go through BOTH the External Beam Radiotheraphy Treatment (EBRT) AND the Internal Beam Radiotherapy Treatment (also known as "brachytherapy") for his recurred NPC.
However, we have been told by an oncologist friend that the chances of NPC to recur after 10 years are actually very, very rare, and as such, we're getting a second opinion as to the diagnosis.
Although we are preparing Abah (and ourselves) for the impending barrage of radiotherapy that he may have to go through, we are also praying very hard that it's not NPC.
At his age, we are trying to spare him from having to go through radiotherapy unnecessarily, if possible.
And we are praying...hard.