Friday, March 6, 2009


Have you ever felt that by not talking or writing about something, it would just go away?

Have you ever felt sometimes, that you just didn't want to talk or write about certain things because you just didn't want to think too much about them? Or you just didn't want to think about them at all? Because when you start talking or writing about them, you would not be able to think straight? Because you would be worried sick?

I went through that for the past two weeks.

I didn't want to talk or write about it, but, as much as I had prayed for it to go away, it is still there. It is not going away. And I have to deal with it. And one way of dealing with it, I realized - is to talk about it, and write about it.

My Abah is having a recurrence of nasopharyngeal cancer or NPC (you can read more about it here and here).

His biopsy results came back positive, and he did a CT Scan soon after that to find out the extent of the cancer. And he was straight away referred to the NPC specialist team at PPUM.

All was done within one week - his ENT appointment, his biopsy test, his CT Scan, and his appointment with the NPC specialist.

The news that the Big C was back shocked us, and we were praying that it was still at an early stage. Syukur alhamdulillah, the scan images showed that the tumor is quite localized, and has not spread to any other parts of his body.

But Abah still needs to undergo treatment, and because he was under the care of KLGH when he had NPC the first time around in 1995-96, he has been advised to go back to KLGH. Apparently he would have to go through BOTH the External Beam Radiotheraphy Treatment (EBRT) AND the Internal Beam Radiotherapy Treatment (also known as "brachytherapy") for his recurred NPC.

However, we have been told by an oncologist friend that the chances of NPC to recur after 10 years are actually very, very rare, and as such, we're getting a second opinion as to the diagnosis.

Although we are preparing Abah (and ourselves) for the impending barrage of radiotherapy that he may have to go through, we are also praying very hard that it's not NPC.

At his age, we are trying to spare him from having to go through radiotherapy unnecessarily, if possible.

And we are praying...hard.


yatidell said...

Dear Shana,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...Stay strong.

kay_leeda said...

Dear Wanshana,

Our prayers are for your Abah and your family too. InshaAllah, pada Nya we berserah and redha.

You take care ok.

wanshana said...

Dear Kak Yati,

Thank you. Yes, we have to stay strong for him and for our Mom.


Dear Kay,

Thank you. Yes, this is a test put on us, and we will do our best to overcome it, and redha and tawakkal.

You, too - take care.

Unknown said...

Shana Dearest,

I can truly understand ur feeling...(as one whose parents also had cancer..)..

Insya'Allah, Rabbi Yasser..Allah permudahkan segalanya...

Jaga diri and all prayers utk u and ur family esp uncle and ur mum too....kuat semangat eh!!give them all t support u cd..I'm sure u do dear!

p/s: No wonder..senyap je...kita dok teringat gak nak tanya..but just wait for u to write...

Ezza Aziz said...

sabar sabar dan kamu dan adik beradik kamu kena bersatu dan berdoa lah supaya abah kamu tabah menghadapi semua dugaan dari Allah...

Akak dan keluarga akak akan sentiasa berdoa agar kamu semua dan abah kamu kembali tersenyum...Aminnnn

Anonymous said...

Kak Shana, pray that everything will be ok *hugs*

ADAM said...


Have a look at my sis blog.

It may not be NPC but I hope it will shed some encouragement to you.

Madam Tai Tai Again said...

Oh Shana, really am sorry to hear about your father. Praying hard that he gets thru this well.

Naz in Norway said...

Salam Shana,
Our prayers for your father and the whole family.
I know what you are going through because I went through the same thing. Stay strong.

ms hart said...

Dear Shana, so sorry to hear about your father. Understand fully what you are feeling and going through..been there, done that with my mak. Sabar, ya Shana, and tawakkal. Our doa for your father, for you and your family.

wanshana said...

Eta dearest,


I know it must be really hard for you and your siblings when your parents succumbed to cancer. And I know how you miss them because you were very close to both of them. Al-Fatihah to Arwah your dad and mom.

The first time my Abah had NPC, both Kak Lala and I were in the UK, and we only got updates on his treatments/reactions/progress from Kak Yong and our brothers.

This time around, we're here, and somehow rasa macam the news still has not sunken in, or maybe we're hoping that it's a misdiagnosis or something. As for our other siblings, they're taking it in their strides, as I guess they know what to expect, etc.

We'll have to be strong for each other, insya Allah.

wanshana said...

Kak Ezza,

Terima kasih di atas kata semangat and do'a.

Insya Allah, Shana adik-beradik will do our best to be with my Abah throughout this trying episode. Even though the NPC is very localized and is at an early stage, we still dread the after effects of the treatment would do to him.

Our Mom is very calm about the whole thing, and we hope we can be as strong as she is.

wanshana said...

Hi Amy,

Thank you, dear :)


Hi Adam,

Thank you so much for the link. Your sister is indeed an amazing lady.

There are a lot of words of encouragement and tips and advice for patients and caregivers in her blog which will be very helpful for my Dad and our family.

Thank you so much again.

I wish Irene and her family, you included, of course :) - all the best.

God bless!


Hi Gina,

Thank you, dear.

The NPC is still at an early stage, and we pray that the course of treatment will get rid of it totally, insya Allah.

wanshana said...

Salams Naz,

Thank you for your do'a.

I hope you don't mind if I seek for advice every now and then on coping with cancer patients, etc every now and then.

I have read some literatures on it, but, maybe every now and then, I might need some extra reassuring from those who had gone through it personally.

Thanks again.

wanshana said...

Dear Tati,

Thank you so much for your do'a.

I know how painful it must have been for you with what you had to go through with your Mak. I'm so sorry.

Just as what I've asked Naz, I hope you wouldn't mind if I seek advice from you on a few matters nanti, ya?

Thanks again!