Monday, October 29, 2007

It's the time of the year...

It's the time of the year when you fetch the kids from school, and the first thing you would ask them would be, "Did you get any results yet for your exams?"

If the answer is "Yes", and after you've been fed with all the marks they get that day, the next question would be, "Did anybody get more marks than you?"

If the answer is "Yes", the next line of questioning would be, "Who?", followed by - "How many more marks did he/she get than you?"

And you expect your kids to know the marks of EVERYBODY in the class, okay?! So that when you get back home, you could take out your little calculator, draw out a few nice columns with the names of your kids' competitors in his/her class in one column, and the marks that they get for each subject in the other columns.

But, of course, more often than not, your kids couldn't care less about the other kids' marks, and this would mean that you would be kept hanging in suspense, because you could not gauge how well (or badly) your kids have fared compared to the rest of their classmates without the full data to analyse maaa!!!

So, for the next couple of weeks, the standard first question you would ask when you fetch them from school would be, "So, have your teachers told you your position in class yet?" (while trying your very best to appear as if it didn't matter if the reply to the question was "No", when in fact you would be fuming mad while trying to comprehend WHY the teachers are taking such a looooong time to work out the kids' position in class!)

And finally, when the kids were given their position in class for their final exams, and if they get Top 3 and/or highest in any of the subjects in their class, the next question would be, "So, when is your "Hari Anugerah Kecemerlangan"? - so that you could block the whole of that day to attend it and later maybe celebrate somewhere.

So far for us, it's 2 down, 1 more to go.

Hasya got 1st in her class, and top for English and Bahasa Malaysia. Syukur Alhamdulillah... She has always got 1st, except in the last exam when she got 2nd placing (which we think was due to her rigorous and traumatic rhythmic gymnastics training that she was going through earlier this year)

Hanna got 5th in her class, an improvement from her 6th position in the last exam (and her marks are much, much higher. Syukur Alhadulillah... So now we're just waiting for her UPSR results which will come out middle of next month... (and I'm already having cold sweats now...)

We are now waiting with bated breaths for Hilman's position in class. He got number 12 in the last exam (despite getting over 95% for 3 of the core subjects!). His marks this time have also improved, but of course, his friends might have also improved a lot, too!

Okay, okay....I confess - I AM A KIASU PARENT!!!!

There... satisfied?!

Now, don't tell me you guys don't do the same things?!

Errrrr...... you guys DON'T do these things?

Oooooopss..... Wowww...


30 October 2007

Latest update - Hilman got No. 5 for his final exam - that's a climb of 7 places. Yayyyy!!! AND he will go on stage (as will Hasya) on 13 November for Hari Anugerah Kecemerlangan for being the best student for Science in his class! Hmmmm... He definitely got it from Ayah. Science and myself - we never see eye to eye...Hehehe!

I am so happy and very proud of all three of them :D!

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am guilty of asking the same questions... be it for tests, exams.. whatever... you keep telling yourself not to tapi tak tahan laa...

Amy

wanshana said...

Dear Amy,

Thank you for visiting :D

I know what you mean... My kids are so used to these that sometimes, they would give me the answers even before I ask them the questions! Hehehe!

Sometimes, I even feel like calling their teachers personally... Teruk kan?

Aihhh...what to do? Memang dasar kiasu...

MAMAMIA said...

Samalah kita... I also need to record them down, senang nak report kat Papa.

kudo said...

kiasu parent eh?

that means your kids go to piano, fencing, ballet, swimming, skeet shooting and tae bo classes as well?

:D

wanshana said...

Mamamia,

Waaaaaa... have to submit bi-annual reports to Papa?! Kena audit the reports bebetul before submit tu! :D

Ayah does his own inquisitions - he expects the kids to give him a call when he's at work, to give him personal updates on their exam results...

---------------------------------

Mahariz,

Something like that lah... ;)

But, (surprisingly?!) we don't send the kids for any tuition classes - not until they're in Std 5, at least.

There are parents more kiasu than us out there, you know? They send their Std 1 kids for tuition, you know? Everyday got extra classes some more, you know? Taking extra subjects which are NOT in the syllabus, you know?!

kudo said...

oh, i meant to add this. it's an entry taken from my friend's blog.

imagine this was written by your kids. say, 20-odd years down the line.

it's the second section of the entry that i am alluding to.

http://iam.subhumour.us/?p=2222

wanshana said...

Mahariz,

Thanks so much for the link. I read that posting last night while blog-hopping actually, and said to myself,

"Hmmmmm...such a coincidence... a child's side of the story!"

Idlan's style of writing always brings a smile to my face, including this particular posting (even though I must say this one did touch a chord!) ;)

I hope my kids know that my "kiasu-ness" is not because I'm not proud of them, or that because I am never satisfied with their achievements.

On the contrary, it IS because I AM VERY PROUD OF THEM, that I constantly remind them that they can be the best in whatever they put their hearts into, and that they always have to find ways to improve themselves, NOT to please Mommy or Ayah, but for their own "feel good" experience.

Both Ayah and I have never been disappointed with their studies or achievements. We know their strengths and weaknesses. We try to work with their strengths, and at the same time accept their weaknesses.

Yes, we enroll them in a lot of extra classes for them to find out for themselves whether they enjoy them or not, and if they don't, we will not force them to continue.

My "kiasu-ness" is not so much to drill them, I guess... More like to feed my anxiety...:) Hehehe...

Take care. :D

Keanorlinsya said...

Auty Shana!
Jangan pressure ur kids!
Considering they're still young, the are doing gooood! Great in fact. Accomplishment.

wanshana said...

Kea,

Thank you, dear.

:D - I try my best not to!

So far, alhamdulillah they are quite a self-motivated bunch of kids ;D. Hopefully this will continue even when they're adults nanti, insya Allah.

Take care.

Anonymous said...

I'm proud I got no.5 !
hilman pun dpt no.5 :)
its a good start!
hasya no. 1, pffft ;P

wanshana said...

My dear K.Long Hanna,

You SHOULD be proud of yourself - you have improved a lot in terms of your overall marks!

And Yeyyyy!!! A climb of one placing, some more... :D

Well done, darling. So proud of you and your adek-adek...

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...

Hanna, why didn't you get no.1?!
Same also for Hilman?!

Hasya..why didn't you get best student for Science & Maths, too?!

Familiar, Mahariz?!

;p

P/S That's my style (how I was brought uplah!)..but deep down, I am very VERY proud of my kidz... :)

wanshana said...

I know, Ayah...

I know...

Unknown said...

:-) CONGRATS wanshana and AYAH....tanpa mu, siapalah mereka....

and of course CONGRATS puteri dan putera!!

Jani dah tried ur best...kira ok la kan...

idham

wanshana said...

Brother Id,

Thank you :D

Betul tu - janji everybody has tried and done their best.

Ayah and I still have a looooong way to go before we could really sit down and relax and not think about our kids' studies totally...

I hope my heart and my head can take all the pressure coming our way in the next 10-15 years.

Take care ;)

D.N.A.S said...

Last year, during the first semester, my 2nd son got 11th placing in his class, he was so proud. He was not even 4 years old then. Second semester, he showed us his class photo... we counted and there were 11 of them! My hubby and I were laughing our a*ses off. Hahaha...
Last semester he got 7th place. Okaylah..... not too bad lah.

wanshana said...

D.N.A.S,

That is soooooo cute! :D Tergelak sorang-sorang K.Shana depan my PC ni!

But, it's scary when you think that at the age of 4 (not even 4, right?!) his school dah buat assessment to rank the kids!

So, you can't really blame the parents for being so anxious about their positions in class, can you?
We have to be sure that the kids keep up. If not, bit by bit, they will be demoralized...and THAT can't be good for character building, can it?

Sigh...

Idlan said...

What I didn't say in my entry was how I made peace with my old man. It was my graduation day in 1999; and I knew they were going to give me some sort of award for achievement in both academic and extra curricular activities. The best student award, which I coveted more, went to my Chinese friend, and I was well aware that for political reasons my award was 'created' because they wanted to legitimately put a Malay at the forefront.

So the award didn't excite me much; but as things went, they did the whole shebang and read out my profile and what not while I was trying hard not to grin stupidly in the wings. Then I looked at the audience, there he was, sitting quietly with tears streaming down his face as the profile was being read, with not much care if others saw him or not.

I was shocked, and almost didn't hear them call my name to receive the award. When I next saw him he was his old self again. I have never mentioned to him that I saw what I saw - I think mainly because I needed to believe those were tears of pride, but also to preserve his ego: I know and love him as a very proud man. But I think from that day I made peace with his criticisms. I still get hurt - but when I remind myself about what I saw that day, it's easier to remember that he is human, but most importantly to me at least, I know he loves me in his own way. I think, haha.

wanshana said...

My dear Idlan,

What can I say, apart from that I went REALLY third degree teary-eyed (in other words free-flowing tears!) reading your comment...?

That must have been such an emotional moment for BOTH you and your Dad.

It must have been more difficult for him, as from what you wrote, he is a very proud man. And being just that, he must have refrained himself from showing you just how he felt deep down inside even though I'm sure he was dying to hug and praise you and tell you just how proud he was/is of you.

Hey, you should just give him a call today and tell him just how much you love him... It doesn't matter if he doesn't utter the words back to you, because you do know that he does love you...very, very much...

Take good care of yourself, dear.

Anonymous said...

hi there shana.....

Dengan ini saya HElena mengaku bahawa sememangnya saya seorang yang amat kiasu..... when school is concerned.... hehe (Eh... Ungku Aziz kata okay what to be kiasu....hehe)

can i copy paste yr n3 to my blog? hehe.... coz thats how i feel... sejibik.....

but hubby is always around to tell me not to go overboard.... hehe

wanshana said...

Hi Helena,

HIDUUUUUPPP UNGKU AZIZZZZZ!!!! :D

If you want to cut and paste this entry, by all means...Hehehe! Tapi, nanti I'll be opening the floodgate la pulak coz' I'm sure I'll get a lot more of the same request from all the Kiasu parents out there who think and feel the same way as we do! Hahaha!

All Kiasu parents out there -

"SILA ANGKAT TANGAN AND REGISTER YOURSELF!"

P/S : If we were to form a political party and contest in the next election, sure landslide win... ;) coz' ramai sungguh ahli party ni kat Malaysia...

IBU said...

Mommy Shana,

I can only be half kiasu with my boys. For obvious reasons - I think I was more malas than they are & couldn't care less about exams when I was their age. Hehehe.... Shhhhh!

So far boleh tahan lah si Idin tu. Selalu jugak chosen as class or school rep for science & math quizzes. I suppose that must have been inherited from his ayah la huh? No doubt !!

Hafiz tu, next year std 1. I think if Hishamuddin introduces subject "HotWheels" in school curriculum, dia sure sapu semua trophy! hahaha!!!

Ameer lak... hmmm.... ramai girlfrens kot eh? Senyum meleret selalu.

wanshana said...

Ibu,

Hmmmm...now that you have mentioned it, I can't seem to remember EVER revising for my exams when I was in Primary School (AND Secondary School, too, for that matter!) Turned out okay what?!

(By the way, "OKAY" is a very subjective thing...Hahaha! Go figure!)

Your boys will be fine,insya Allah. Don't worry, dear. Just look at us! (Errr....maybe not - bad examples, I know... HAHAHAHA!)

afsi said...

Hello there,

I have been reading your blog for a while and this entry have hit a chord. We (me and the wife) are in the same predicament. I am trying hard not to show the kiasu-ness but deep down inside....
I just want them to succeed.. (and excel if possible) but so far they (my two elder girls, the boy is still in kindie) have managed to go onstage every year either for 2nd or 3rd placing or achieving 5As. Alhamdulillah


Where can I sign up for KA? (Kiasu Anonymous)

wanshana said...

Hello there afsi,

Thank you for visiting. It's nice to know that there are people out there whom I do not know personally actually READ my ramblings! Hahaha! But, hey - I have made a lot of new friends through this blog. Syukur alhamdulillah...

And syukur alhamdulillah for kurniaan Allah - you must be really proud of your children. Wow! They've been going on stage every year! You should have seats in the hall reserved for you and your wife every year. Macam UN Permanent Member...:D

KA = Kiasu Anonymous?!!! HAHAHAHA! Cute!!! Hmmmmm...a few of us who have commented in this blog can form a pro tem committee right away I'm sure...

Take care :D

SitiNur77 said...

Camni rupanya perasaan Ibu bila anak2 dah sekolah yer...

Kiasu ok, Kak. But hope the children can still enjoy their childhood. Some pressure, but not too much pressure. Camana tu ek?? Huhuhu. I'll wait for my turn if panjang umur, InsyaAllah.

wanshana said...

Dear SitiNur,

It's a tricky thing...

We don't want to push them, but at the same time we HAVE to push them. You know what I mean?

I guess we just need to learn to do things so as not to push them away...

All the best with Michiko and Noriko. ;)

Unknown said...

Hi

I am guilty of asking the same questions.....what did you get for this and that...I guess all concern parent will do the same.But I did not really care about the position....more of whether there is any improvement from the last exam.

The recents final exam..my sons did not do very well.So me and hubby are trying to look at different ways to improve their studies.

Me being late bloomers myself did not worry too much if they did not excel in primary education but I believe in supporting and educating them thru out the primary school.

And there is definately nothing wrong being kiasu esp when it comes to education.

Anonymous said...

My dear Hanna, Hasya & Hilman

Before any of u start to complain...or even rebel (don't u dare!), think about my childhood for a moment...

If there was an ultimate kiasu parent at that time (or ever!), it was ur Wan. She only allowed Ayah one..and ONLY ONE option, that was to get no. 1...not just in my class, but in the whole standard!!! Btw, there were 400 pupils in each year at that time! You will remember, I'm sure, the story when Wan chased me around the house with a broom (err..I think that was the closest object to her at that time!) for not getting 100% in ONE of the subjects...and I was only in std TWO!

So, count ur lucky stars!

P/S. Wan has mellowed down a lot since... ;p

wanshana said...

Dear Suria,

Thank you for visiting :D

I agree with you - more importantly is that they consistently improve.

I also agree that even though we don't really have to pressure them during primary school, we still have to make sure that they have a solid foundation in primary education.

All the best to us parents, eh?

Take care.

Helena said...

wan shana... hehe. It was a nice feeling reading Ungku Aziz's statement.

Helena tau yg Helena ni kiasu bab education anak2.... but u know what? There are a lot of parents yg kiasu dari Helena tau... so to me... I'm a moderate KA ajer.... hehe

Bab copy paste tu.... saja ajer... bec tat entry betul2 reflect how i feel.

The challenge of motherhood for me is how to be kiasu without pressuring the kids.... But for me so far ok kut....

wanshana said...

Ayah,

It must have been a sight - I can just imagine Mak chasing you around the house with a broomstick!! Hahaha!

:D

wanshana said...

Helena,

I consider myself as an average KA, too.

I know parents who send their kids for tuition at 2-3 different tuition centres, and don't allow them to be active in co-curriculum activities so that they can focus 300% on their studies (which I think is a downright shame!)

We try not to pressure our kids unnecessarily ourselves. We don't want them to lose interests just because they feel pressured by us.

It's tough sometimes, but like you - so far so good... :)

Spena said...

Kak - what's your email address? Nak tanya somethinglah...

Formerly known as Superwomanwannabe! said...

I am also kiasu but my kids are not....So in the end I just look at the overall performance

I have a sneaky feeling they take after their mom lah!!

wanshana said...

Superwomanwannabe,

Likewise, I'll be happy if their overall performance shows improvement.

(But, nak menunggu official results from the teachers tu yang tak tahan tu...)

Anyway, if you think I'm kiasu, wait till you see how Haizal is during exams/results time! ;D