Thursday, March 20, 2008

The new man in my life...

Turning 40 is a big deal to some people, because life, they say, begins at 40. But, does it really?

I guess it rings true more for men than women because more often than not, at that age, men are more established in their careers, they have walked the walk and talked the talk, and the experiences amassed over the years do boost their level of confidence tremendously for most. And of course, they have the extra cash to splash around as well to enjoy life more. And some say men actually reach maturity at that age. ( wonder there are a lot of men out there who act like juveniles - they have a valid excuse for that, I guess :) Hehehe!)

So, what do men do when they reach 40?

Some change their lifestyles totally, which more often than not means changing cars, changing their style of dressing, changing their appearances, and some even change their wives - hoping that it would be for the better. They either do one or two of the above, or they opted for the whole package. Some find profound happiness after the change. Some fall flat on their face and only realize, albeit a little too late, that their lives are going downhill and heading to the end AT 41.

My take is - if you could not be happy and bersyukur with what you had and gradually gained at the age of 10+, 20+, or 30+, then you will never ever going to find happiness at the age of 40. The key factor whether it is profound happiness, or failure, or disgrace that you find after you turn 40 - is the people around you - those who have been with you through thick and thin WAY, WAY before you reach the BIG 4. Life needs not BEGIN at 40. It should CONTINUE with all those extra frills - shared with loved ones.

I don't have any objections at all to those who decide to change their lifestyles, or appearances at 40 - men or women alike. Yang penting is the nawaitu.

So, I have no objections at all when Ayah asked my permission if he could do something a day after he turned 40. Something which he had been meaning to do for the past 3 1/2 years. And the day he turned 40 seemed the right time for him to do it. He even asked the kids for their permission, and he received mixed reactions and feedback from them.

Ayah asking his daughters' opinions and permission.

Me - I was practically sitting on the fence. It was REALLY up to him. I didn't want my opinion to make it more difficult for him to decide. If he feels strongly about it, by all means, I'm not going to say "No".

His daughters gave a "DEFINITE NO".

His son said "YES".

Being a democratic household, my "on the fence" stand could not be counted - it's like undi rosak. And so, it was 2 against 1 : AGAINST his "plan/intentions".

But, being an authoritarian in a democratic household - Ayah exercised his Veto power, and decided to go against the majority!

We decided that all of us should witness this historic event, and after Maghrib on Sunday 16th March 2008, a day after he turned 40, everybody was bundled up into the car and off we went to give Ayah some moral support. His daughters were by then, already resigned to the fact that Ayah's decision was final, and they were quite nervous waiting for the outcome.

So, this was what happened.

While Hilman was doing this -

Ayah was doing this -

And this -

And this was how it turned out -

I know it's not that clear - this is just a teaser, until Ayah gives the green light to post a proper pix of him now without his beard and moustach. All I got to say is, he looks 10 years younger now.

And now he's worried that his patients would not take him seriously! This was what happened 4 years ago when he didn't have his moustach and beard when he became a consultant. Some of his patients thought he was a junior doctor and refused to be seen by him and insisted to see the consultant. And it took Ayah a good 15 minutes to explain and convince them that he was THE consultant! And THAT was why Ayah decided to grow his beard and moustach then. Well, Ayah - if I may remind you, it was YOUR decision to clean-shave everything, honey. Hehehe!

The kids are still not used to him not having any facial hair, and every night when Ayah comes home, they would start giggling, and call out -

"MOMMMYYYY!!! HOMER IS HOME!!!!" (as in Homer Simpsons?!) Hahahaha!

I say, now that he looks 10 years younger than his age, and we being the same age, and all, I guess I, too will also have to do something to look at least 15 years younger?!!

Hmmmmm....Anybody out there has Dato' Seri Mohamad Khir Toyo's number, please...


Kmar said...


Alamak, it is true.. dari gambar nampak younger la. Ini yang ´mengancam´.... he...he... Men life start at 40??!!.. boleh pakai ke that phrase?

Btw, yang paling penting, a person must always young at heart. A year older means a year wiser.

Did u know that Sal already gave birth to baby girl on 4th March? She has been trying to get in touch in me tapi tak berjaya. Entah le... kot-kot kerana election.. ha.ha.ha..

Warm regards to your Prince Charming@Ayah@Consultant@Badhal Khan??... multifunction laa..

MA & Brood said...

Here's the number you want :

Toyo's Tempe
Dial 1-800-TEMPE-R-US

he he he...

40 is a big event, no? Now I am nervous to hit my big 5-oh. Not in another 6 years time though.

wanshana said...



Hmmmmm...If he doesn't play it right, silap-silap nanti Ayah yang akan "diancam" (by moi!!!) Hahaha!

Yes - I agree with you. Yang penting we must stay young at heart. Tu yang kekadang tu bila jumpa kawan macam tak ingat dunia. Sangka 17 lagi, geng...

And Yes - knew about Sal. Got an SMS from her on that day, but have not yet got the chance to go and see her and the new baby.

Take care.

wanshana said...

ma & brood,

40 or 50 - they're just numbers, right? It's the life that you put in your years than the years you put in your life that matters. Betul tak? :)

And talking about numbers, thanks so much for THE number. I've been trying to call for the last half an hour but I kept on getting -

"Harap Maaf. Nombor yang anda dail telah ditukar. Sila dail 1-800-8070X-R-US".

And when I dialled that new number, I kept on getting this bunyi macam shredding machine aje...

Why, aaahhh??!!

IBU said...


We shall congregate at Emerald Rawang soon to celebrate his bday, onair's bday, joe's bday, abid's bday & IDIN's BDAY!!! Yeayyyy ......

Errr... Don't forget to bring your own food - as usual. Air jer free. Hehehe....

wanshana said...


Waaaaaaaaa!!! No wonder la menyepi seribu bahasa. Guessed as much - u sibuk mengangkut barang. So, housewarming very soon, aaarrr? Can't wait :)

Ada request -

Mesti ada teh tarik, sirap bandung soda, ABC, apple kasturi, teh 'o' ais limau, milo ais, milo panas, chocolate milkshake, vanilla milkshake, air lychee longan, necafe ais, Neslo, Horlo, and soursop juice. Semua kurang manis, ok?!

LASINDAH CAFE - TAK PAYAH!!!! Eeeeeewwwww....geli!!!!

MAMAMIA said...

The problem is women get 'wiser' at a much faster rate..

Since u can't get thro that no, try Kak Nita's no. Sorry, I don't have it though.

aiz said...

kak shana,
hahahahaha... kelakar...
anyway, i dun have dato seri's number but i know where giants are. they sell tempeh too....

wanshana said...


Yes, we do get 'wiser' earlier, kan?!!!

That's why orang dulu-dulu, kalau nak kawinkan their daughters, they all carikan husbands yang at least 6-7 years older.

Biar level of wisdom setaraf, and biar wives tak nampak that much older dari their husbands.

And I'm in a state of denial now. Ye ke Ayah looks younger than me?!!!! OH TIDAK!!!!!!

Kak Nita di manakah dikau???!!!

wanshana said...


Tempe yang jual kat Giant or Tesco tu tak ori laaaa...Dia mesti yang datang dari Tanjung Karang jugak!!!

Worse comes to worst, I will get my maid to buat home-made tempe kat rumah ni...

Eta My said...

Kalau tidak keberatan..I ni pun nak tumpang ber'giggle-giggle' ngan ur gals...I dok bayangkan..entah-entah u pun..berlakon 'giggle' skali..eemmm..undi rosak kunun!

(I kinda suka tengok keharmonian anak2 pompuan ngan the father..)

Yela..dah slalu tengok ayahnya ber'rambut'..tiba-tiba begitu licin..Lain la my youngest daughter...siap kata..ayah tak boleh cium lelama sebab misai dan janggut tajam..and it is amongst reasons kenapa my hubby shave slalu..

Thnx for ur caption on what do man do..based on nawaitu tu...

Lagi satu, hari tu my uncle ade fwd sms kat I..dia kata Dr Khir ade buka klinik..siap dapt diskaun for first 100 customers...goodie bag of items made of tempe lagi....nanti Kita tanya kalu dia ade no yang dimaksudkan...itupun kalau klinik yang dimaksudkan juga....:D!!

Anonymous said...


dear kak shana ...

go for it abang H!

fortunately for us, we've seen him without his beard when you guys were here dulu! thank god hanna was still small, kalau tak sure people thought they are brothers and sisters! heheheh ...

before i forget ... kak intan's pregnant!!! yup!!! 6 months!!! senyap aje minah tu :)

take care and salam to all ...

:o) me

ps: LOVE hilman's room!!! nanti kalau ada duvet cover 'hot wheels' i sms you ... you nak ke or have you got it?

Kak Teh said...

wanshana, he does look a lot younger. yes, go after khir toyo before he puts them in the swiss bank.

wanshana said...


The problem for Ayah is - tak shave pun susah, shave pun susah.

The kids, especially the girls, just couldn't stand being hugged or kissed by him lelama coz'they felt ticklish if his beard and moustach brushed against their skin. But, when he shaved them off, they demanded that he grow them again!
He's somewhat in a dilemma now.

Banyak SMSs about MKT semenjak dua menjak ni...Macam-macam klinik and kedai dah dia bukak sejak 8 March hari tu. Hehehe!

As for the 'caption', in whatever we do in life, memang semua berpangkal pada niat, kan? Kalau orang tak tau, atau sangka buruk pun, Allah will know.

Take care.

wanshana said...


Salams, and that's really great news about Intan. I'm so happy for her and Ruzaif!

Yes, Abang Haizal looks exactly like when you all first knew him, but maybe a couple of kilos heavier? Hahaha!

Hanna selalu tension if people say her Ayah looks like her brother. And a couple of times ada people who thought we were sisters! Well, good news for me. Not so good news for her! Hehehe!

Hilman's room is pretty cool, huh? Bilik anak bujang I... Nope, tak ada lagi Hot Wheels duvet set la Murni. I found a HW fleece cover in Park**n the other day, but they didn't have the duvet set.

So, if it's no trouble, please get one for Hilman, okay? Bill me later, eh? Thanks so much, dear.

My salam to Hilmi and hugs to Iman and Irfan, please.

Take care.

wanshana said...

Kak Teh,

I say, another one who confirms that Ayah looks younger! Aiyoyo! Susah la ini macam...Definitely have to get in touch with MKT ASAP.

I think he has made a deal with Mike Tyson - he lets go of all his State UMNO posts, and Mike Tyson will let him in into his secrets on how to deceive all the foreign customs and immigration people overseas - the Swiss included! it too late?!!

Kak Teh said...

hahahah! I can't help but add this: when the customs opens the bag - millions and millions of tempe!!!!

Anonymous said...


kak shana ...

no worries pasal the HW duvet tu but you nak i post to where? you new place or your MIL's place?

best kan kak intan pregnant!

hahaha ... sian hanna ... have she grown more taller than the last time we saw her?

anyway, apa rahsia abang h,huh? tak kan la pasal the beard aje kot?! hmmmm ...

wanshana said...

Kak Teh,


And maybe we can use "Tempe" as the new currency for IMF, in place of SDR (Special Drawing Rights)!

HAAAAA! Baru betul!!

wanshana said...


The duvet - no need to post kot? I expect you guys to come back for a short holiday soon ;) Kalau tak pun, masuk kontena you all nanti, can? Hehehe!

Kalau tak pun, tunggu we all pegi sana nanti ke, insya Allah.

Kalau tak pun, kalau tak pun, kalau tak pun....Hmmmm....banyak options ni. We'll see how it goes, okay?

Cheers ;)

wanshana said...

And Murni,

Yes - Hanna's taller than me now (but we share our jeans. I guess our legs are the same length, but she has a longer body?)

Rahsia Ayah? me. Ada bini lawa kot?!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ha, kan!!!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hey,he does look much younger. and the best part was, a visit to the nearest friendly barber, parted some 10 bucks and voila, a new (look) hubby. no botox needed.

wanshana said...

Psssssttt, Kerp. I never said there wasn't any botox involved did I?!

Just between the two of us - Dato' Seri MKT also goes to the same barber, you know...

MrsNordin said...

I'm sure he looks so much younger now (eventho' I can't really see the pic). MrNordin did the same thing dulu, plus botak kan his kepala. Now the kids wouldn't let him grow his moustache or hair again. Your kids would feel the same way too because their daddy is now so coooool....! :)

wanshana said...


I think Ayah should stop at just shaving off his facial hair. The kids would probably get into uncontrollable fits of laughters and would be rolling on the floor if he shaves off his hair, too!

Some men look good bald. Some men don't. And I'm not sure if Ayah falls under the first or the second category, and I don't think we would want to take the risks. Hehehe!

And "cool" is a relative thing, no? Looking at what our kids do or say (even after one week!) when they see their Ayah, I don't think they think he looks cool. Hahaha!

(Hmmmm...Maybe we should wait a while until they get used to his new looks)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

He does? oh, and i thought he only frequents the fancy saloons. this after all, is only for a haircut. or are you trying to tell me barbers now provides such services?

oh well. anyway I've tagged you kak Shana. do have a look first over there and you can always skip it but i tell ya akak, i had fun doing it.

Anonymous said...


dear kak shana,

unfortunately this year tak balik - lots of things going on and pasal kontena tu, you nak tunggu lagi 5 years ke? by then hilman dah tak minat HW kot ... hehehe ...

haaa ... option you datang best coz dapat jumpa you - yehaaaa!!!

yeah ... we see how la ...

what?! you share jeans with hanna??!!! best nya!!! *jealous but then again tak kan i nak share with iman and irfan kot! *

yeah ... agree with you about abang H's looking young secret :) (ni nak minta you masak your 'masak ayam tak ada resepi' ler ni!! hehehe ...)

take care!

:o) murni

Helena said...

hehe he does look younger, and I'm sure it makes your heart skip a beat....

Happy 40th birthday to your hubby. You do better keep an eye on him... i dont really trust guys who'd just turned 40..... HAHA>

Superwomanwannabe said...

Shana- I pulak dont remember him with facial hair at ALL! Its been THAT Long!!!!

wanshana said...


Jangan tak tau - barber nowadays - macam-macam ada! ;)

Will get down to doing the tag as soon as I get a breather, insya Allah.

Should be fun - but when I went through the list of what to list, termenung jugak sekejap...Susah jugak, ya? But, will try :)

wanshana said...


It's okay. I'm sure we can work something out. But, definitely cannot wait for your kontena 5 tahun lagi. Hehehe!

Yep - Hanna and I are at the "sharing-jeans" phase now. As for you, sampai bila-bila la kot tak leh nak share jeans dengan anak-anak bujang you! Time to try for another baby, eh? Insya Allah dapat girl?

P/S : My "Kari-tak-ada-resipi" is not as nice as "Baked-salmon-tak-ada-resipi" you :), but for you, of course I can masak anytime ;) Tak payah bodek pun tak aper...Hahaha!

wanshana said...


Yep - my heart skips more than a beat in fact. Hehehe!

And yes - I'm keeping an eye on him...I'm keeping an eye on him... ;)
(Errrr....make it BOTH eyes!)

wanshana said...


YES! It has been THAT long. I think you probably still have the image of him being clean-shaven, slim, etc. - zaman anak baru sorang dulu.

Time has not been kind to him... HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi K.Shana,
reading this reminds me of what i said to hubby beginning of this year. i yg suruh dia shave his beard & moustach coz that will make him look younger :) he refused bcoz he's afraid his staff wont take him seriously. i'm still persuading him to do it tho, hehehe.
take care :)
rose '86

wanshana said...

Hello Rose,

Thanks for hopping by :) Nice to see you here.

Wow! What a brave thing to do - askg your hubby to shave so that he would look younger. I tabik you. Hehehe!

Anyway, I think it has to come from them la - benda-benda macam ni...Tak boleh nak suruh-suruh, kan?

Do let us know if you berjaya pujuk him nanti, eh?

Take care.

hanna said...

ayah seriously looks funny without his beard. macam tgh pout, HAHAHA.
all that's missing for him to be an Ultimate Homer is to shave off his hair and leave a few strands on his head ;p ANDD he has to be yellow, oh no.

wanshana said...


Cute, Hanna...

But, makes difference to him if he's yellow or not, does it?!! (Private joke)


Anonymous said...

Hehe K.Shana, have to agree with you that benda2 macam ni has to come from them & tak boleh nak suruh2, coz i'm not successful yet :) So brave of me to ask him to look younger? No la.. He needs to bcoz his grey hairs is outnumbering the black ones.. Tak nak la org kata my hubby 'tua' sangat pulak *LOL*

Anyways, i selalu menjenguk kat sini. Love to read your stories :)

Take good care of you :)

rose '86

wanshana said...

Dear Rose,


It's a different case for me - I'm the one with countless grey hair (as you might remember - I started having grey hair since STF days, anyway!)

Ayah has decided to meet half-way. He's no longer clean-shaven, but instead he's keeping a not-so thick moustach and beard now. So, everybady is happy-ish...Hehehe!

Thank you kerana rajin menjenguk and membaca my ramblings ;)

You take care, too!