We are "semi-good neighbours" now (?)...

Remember my posting on how people perceive or judge other people by looking at the cars they drive? And that because both Ayah and I drive our national cars, we could not be put in the "Good Neighbours" category?

Hmmmm...What if Ayah "pasang lagi satu" in the form of this?



Does this mean we are now in the "Semi-good neighbours" category? Hehehe...

Anyway, Ayah got his new car a few weeks back, after years of me persuading him to get a proper sedan. He had been driving his Naza after we sold off our 12-year old second-hand banged up Audi 100 2.3l in 2004 (we brought the Audi back from the UK in 1997). He was happy with his Naza. In fact, he was (and still is) VERY happy with it.

He only started seriously considering getting a sedan about 8 months back and was waiting for a new model to come out which would be worthed buying. A lot of our friends and family suggested the new Camry (what a beauty that is, kan?), but, as Mak already has that Camry at home, Ayah being Ayah, he was not really keen on getting the same car for himself. So, it was actually quite a tough thing trying to decide on which car to get. With him not wanting to get the exact same cars as Mak's or his or my siblings' or our friends', we didn't have much choice of good/nice cars left there, did we? Nasib baik we didn't opt for Perdana - such HIGH maintenance, that car, huh? Or is it only if we live in Terengganu? ;) Hehehe...

Anyway, so, when we heard that Honda was launching the new Accord in April, we decided to check it out. We brought the kids along, and they just loved it! With a 4 to 1 vote for the Black model, I lost. I had wanted the silver/blue-ish model. But, I've also seen the gold one on the road a few times, and I think that's awesome, too! It's okay lah - as long as Ayah and the kids are happy, I'm happy :) So, black it is.

But, we had to wait for more than 2 months to get the car.

So now, we have an MPV in the form of the Naza - our family/weekend car which has to be parked outside our gate as our porch is just way too small to fit all three cars in. Well, actuallynya boleh fit if tak ader this tiang in the middle of the porch. We deliberated on over whether we should do a bit of renovation to remove that tiang and change the gate, etc., but, decided against it as insya Allah, next year dah nak pindah to the new house anyway. Might as well use the money to renovate the new house, right?

We have a small 4x4 (if you can call it that) in the form of the Kembara - MY faithful car which I drive to work, to pasar, to run errands, to ferry my kids around to wherever it is they need to be ferried around to.

And we have a sedan in the form of the Accord - Ayah's car which he drives to work now (alternating with his Naza every other week - coz' takut nanti his Naza "merajuk"...Hehehe)

But, let me fill you guys in into a piece of fact. If you guys want to know, I have NEVER EVER driven the Naza and the Accord since we bought them. Not even once. And the Naza has been with us for the last 4 years! Reason being - I ni penakut nak drive big cars! Ada phobia sikit (or rather, BANYAK!) Hehehe! In fact, I have NEVER driven any other cars (not my siblings', in-laws', friends', etc.) apart from MY Kembara!

My Kembara was my FIRST and the ONLY car I've bought and driven thus far (I only sat for my driving test and got my licence in 1998, BUT, only started driving in 2003 at the age of 35!) I'm so used to driving a small 'elevated' car, that I don't think I can start driving a big car (and so near to the ground some more).

Ayah has been asking me to drive his Accord whenever he's taking the Naza, but NOOOOOOO WAAAAAAYYYY I'm driving that car, man...

Whatever it is, we have yet to qualify for the "VERY Good Neighbours" title.

No Beemers, no Mercs, no Jags and the likes parked on our porch the last time I checked maaaa...

Bila lah agaknya boleh upgrade ourselves to the "Very Good Neighbours" category ni, ya? ;)

Hmmmm...Tak per lah . While Ayah is now in the "Semi-good Neighbours" category, I can continue sitting in my warm and comfortable seat in the "Not-so-good neighbours" club for now... Hehehe...

The Sequel : This is IT...

Finally, the LAST in the series of Cerita Chenta...

The 10 years 4 months and 15 days roller-coaster ride (to borrow Dad of 4+1's description of the saga) from the first time Ayah and I got to know each other when we were 16, was sealed with the Akad Nikah on 9th September 1994, when both of us were 26 years old. But, we were still strapped to the seats of the roller-coaster carriage as there was still one small dip that we had to go through...

We thought we had it all figured out, and we thought we could handle it. We had charted our career paths so that when the time were to come for us to settle down and start a family, we would have already somewhat established ourselves in our respective careers. We had been apart before - many, many times in fact, and we should not have any problems being apart again. Or so we thought.

But, Boy...little did we know that it was not going to be the same once we were married...

After saying goodbye to Ayah at Heathrow's Terminal 4 that day, and after going through the longest 13-hour flight back to KL, and after being so dehydrated (for being in the long-haul flight AND from crying non-stop!), life had to go on and we had to get back into our daily routines.

I had been on a month's leave, preparing for the wedding and also to join Ayah for a short while in the UK, and I found it SOOOOOOOO difficult to get back into the groove. And the fact that I had piles and piles of work waiting for me at the office when I finally reported back for duty was not helping at all. Those files should have taken my mind off Ayah, but, instead, Ayah was taking my mind off the files!!!

I was missing him terribly. I kept on thinking if his makan-minum, if his baju-pakai segala were okay, if his house was in order, etc. (As if before he got married to me he didn't eat, he didn't pakai baju, and he didn't live in a house (??!!), etc! Hehehe...)

But, it was different. I felt that as his wife, I should be making sure that his life was teratur and I should have been there to offer the care, comfort and warmth to her husband as a wife should. Or so, I initially thought. On hindsight, I realized that in fact, it was probably the other way round.

I was the one who needed Ayah to be with me. I was the one who needed him to be there with me when I got back home from work. I needed him there so that we could talk about everything under the sun. I needed him there with me when I went a visiting families and friends, ESPECIALLY when people kept on asking about him 24/7. I needed him to be there when I was not well. I needed him to be there when I was sad. I needed him to be there when I was happy. I just needed him to be there when I closed my eyes at night. I just needed him to be there.

Selfish? Maybe.

Profound love for my husband? I would like to think that as 'Definitely'.

And I would alternate my stay between my parents' and my in-laws'. I knew that my in-laws became my parents, too, the day we got married. I was and am also responsible for their well-being, especially when their son was not there with them. And it wasn't helping at all that the in-laws' place was full of stuffs and pictures reminding me of Ayah. His prints were all over the house. And his (pleasant :)) smell, too... Saying that I was "depressed" during those months would be a gross understatement.

And to say that I was thrilled when Ayah came back for a short-break in February 1995, five months after we got married, would also be a gross understatement, too. I was more thrilled than thrilled x infinity and beyond :)

We needed the time alone, and as we had not really gone for a proper honeymoon, we decided to get away for a few days just the two of us. And Syukur Alhamdulillah for supercool and sporting parents - Mak and Arwah Daddy were so kind when they sponsored our honeymoon in Bali. 5 heavenly days were spent in beautiful Bali that February. It was pure bliss...

But, a few days after coming back from our honeymoon trip, we had to part ways again when Ayah had to fly back to the UK. Sobs...

I remember feeling very heart-sick for quite some time after our goodbyes. True when they say, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah... I was feeling pretty sick, and started losing weight. My health took a toll when I was down with fatigue which was compounded with food-poisoning at the end of March that year and I was totally flattened. Deep inside I knew that it was not because of my physical health, but more so because I was just feeling so down being alone. And I remember crying myself to sleep every night back then...

I was so emotional and so easily hurt. "Ultra-sensitive" was my middle name. And I was ever so grumpy. And it didn't help that I was also feeling quite sickly most of the time.

Not surprising....As I found out at the end of March that I was pregnant...

I was a week late, and I thought that it was due to emotional and physical stress, and of course because I was down with food poisoning and all. And I contribute my throwing-up bouts and fatigues to that. But, I remember telling myself, "What if?"

And just to be on the safe side, off I went to Guardian and bought myself a Home Preggie test kit, during one of my (many) coffee breaks at work. I remember feeling very nervous. I remember reading the instructions on the test kit for maybe 73 times just to make sure that I understood it. I remember doing the test in the office loo. And I remember seeing the 2 blue lines appearing almost immediately. And I remember crying...

No. NOT because I was sad that I was pregnant (of course NOT!!!), but I was sad because Ayah was not there with me to see the 2 blue lines...

I was pretty excited and anxious, of course, and quickly asked my Boss (Encik Ha*an***in) if I could just slip out for an hour. The nearest clinic happened to be an O&G clinic (THE Dr Col*n Le* Women's Clinic in Damansara Utama) which was just within 5 minutes walking distance. And within half an hour, it was confirmed - I was indeed pregnant...

I walked back to the office, but I just couldn't call Ayah from there (this was during the Ice Age when handphones and SMS were still a novelty and skype and the likes were not heard of). Furthermore, it was about 4a.m in the morning in the UK and I didn't want to wake him up! But, I needed to tell someone. I tried calling my Mom but nobody was home, so I called one of my MT friends, Ab** to tell her the good news.

And when I told her that she was the FIRST to know, she gave me a - "Shana, are you crazy??!! You mean you have NOT told Haizal yet?!!, etc." And THAT was enough for me to straight away ask my Boss if I could call Ayah using the office phone.

I remember Ayah answering my call with a groggy voice (what do you expect? It was about 4a.m in the morning in the UK!) and him asking me if everything was okay, etc. I was trying not to sound anxious or excited, and we were just having small talks, when I said to Ayah -

Me : Guess what?

Ayah : Hmmm...what?

Me : You know I was not feeling well, and had food poisoning and was throwing up like nobody's business that day?

Ayah : Yeeessss...??

Me : Apparently it was not the food poisoning... Well, it was not JUST because of food poisoning.

Ayah : What do you mean? Are you okay?

Me : (Pause)...Yeah, I'm okay. In fact, I'm more than okay... I'm pregnant...

Ayah : (A BIG FAT 10 SECONDS PAUSE followed, and then he started laughing!) ARE YOU SURE???!!! I mean, have you seen the doctor? (And he continued laughing!) I'm just so happy! Imagine that! Syukur Alhamdulillah... Are you okay? How do you feel?! (And another 1001 questions and "Are you okays" from him after that:))

Me : (Also laughing from my end)...Yes, I have seen the doctor, and I did a home preggie test before that, etc.

And out of the blue, I said to Ayah -

Me : I want to quit my job. I want to be with you...

And I started crying... (Cememeh kan??!!!)

And what Ayah said after that made me cry even more -

"YES, I want you to be here with me as soon as you can. I will ask Mak to arrange with Chr**t*ne (Mak's travel agent) to get your flight tickets here as soon as possible. In the meantime, please take good care of yourself...and our baby, okay...?"

There was no pause, no doubts, no hesitation from Ayah.

Kalau ikutkan hati, I would have just dropped everything and taken the next flight out to Hull that day. But, of course that would not be fair to anyone. There were some loose ends to tie at work, and of course, I had to think of my Abah and Mommy, too. I should at least prepare them for yet another round of me leaving home and going back to the UK...

Remember when I said how sad I felt going to the Kursus Kahwin alone? And also going about preparing for the Wedding alone? Well, try going to an ante-natal check-up alone... Now, THAT was something else. It saddened me everytime I saw fellow Moms-to-be at the clinic with their hubbies, and there I was , with yet another story of my life - ALONE... But, Thank God, there were only two ante-natal check-ups that I had to go through before flying off to the UK.

After tendering in my one month notice of resignation, and after tying all the loose ends at work, and after paying all the dues within my social circles, at the end of May 1995 - 8 months after getting married, I bade farewell to my family and friends in Malaysia, and left for the UK to be with Ayah, to start OUR OWN little family...

We were finally REALLY together....

And the rest, as they say - is history...

- THE END -


* I would like to take this opportunity to say Thank You from the bottom of my heart to all who had followed Cerita Chenta from Day 1 until today. What started out as a posting to wish Ayah "A Happy 24th Anniversary of Knowing-each-other" on 26th April 2008, turned out to be a Prologue of a Series of Sequels of the roller-coaster rides Ayah and I had to go through before we finally tied the knot in 1994.

It had been a very nostalgic and heart-warming experience for me and Ayah, and writing the Cerita Chenta has made us feel even more closer to each other. And hey, the naturally romantic Ayah has become even more romantic now... (Buleh??!)

I hope that all our friends whom Ayah and I had made during the Cerita Chenta Series have enjoyed reading the stories, as much as I had enjoyed writing and sharing them here.

I truly treasure this very special friendship, and so does Ayah :)

I hope all of us will not stop reminiscing the yesteryears, so as to embark upon an even more meaningful future with our loved ones.

Just do it...

Reminisce.

God Bless. Wassalam.

Some pics...

As requested by some of my dear readers :)

THE Sequel : 9994

Okay. Where was I?

Yeah, right -

And the day for the engagement ceremony finally came. With 7 dulangs from Ayah's side, and 9 from my side, surrounded by families and friends, I officially became Ayah's fiancee when his Mom slipped the ring onto my ring finger on that morning of 19th December 1993...

And 3 days after that, Ayah had to fly back to the UK, leaving me yet again, in KL...


The story of my life, huh?

Anyway, realizing that we had about 9 months before the proposed wedding date, my Mommy and I got cracking with the preparations. There were so many things to do, and even though nine months seemed like ample time, it felt like everything was moving in a fast forward mode!

There was the hantaran (which we decided to do ourselves - my Mommy, my Aunty Nab and myself); there was the Mak Andam package; the caterers; the menus; the canopies; the kompang people; the baju pengantin; the shoes; the wedding cake; the flowers; the invitation cards; the bunga telur, the bunga pahar, the bilik pengantin, etc. And being the bride, my side also had to prepare for two Majlis - the Nikah and also the Reception. Due to the fact that most of my uncles and aunties were/are scattered all over Perak and Penang, and most of them could only travel down to KL on a weekend, we decided to hold the Reception and bersanding on a weekend. But, the date which Ayah and I had chosen for our nikah fell on a Friday. So, the solution was to have two kenduris. One on the night of the Nikah, and another one the next day. Memang fenin...

And every single plan and changes to the plans would have to be conveyed to my (then future) MIL. And of course, not only did I have to tend to my side's Majlis, I also had to go for the weekly meetings with my MIL and my SIL who were the Wedding Planners on Ayah's side. And I have to say, both of them were REALLY professional! And Ayah, would call every 3-5 days to get updates on everything... Memang senang hidup member...

He was not even there for the baju pengantin fitting session! And my SIL's then boyfriend (who more or less had the same built as Ayah) had to stand in and try the baju pengantin on behalf of Ayah! Can you all believe that? And he even stood in for Ayah for the food-tasting sessions! What the....?! As if?!

And of course - I had to deal with JAWI to book the Tok Kadhi, and segala mak nenek to do with getting witnesess, etc. AND...of course - the Kursus Kahwin...

God...the Kursus Kahwin! I think attending the Kursus Kahwin must have been the MOST difficult and depressing time for me running to the wedding. I was so stressed out with the preparations, etc., and it didn't help that I had to attend it A-L-O-N-E... Sakit jiwer tengok the others attending the course with their partners. And there I was, A-L-0-N-E...

Anyway, by that time I was already practicing at a legal firm in Damansara Utama, which was just 20 minutes away from my future in-laws' place in Section 17, and I would drop by at their house at every chance I got to synchronize things, and of course, getting to know them better. I became quite close to Ayah's Arwah Wan in the months leading to the wedding. I would sit with her in front of the TV in front of her room, and we would have lunch together - most of the times just the two of us, as my MIL would be at her office...

And in the midst of all the chaos leading to the wedding day, Arwah Wan passed away peacefully one evening at the age of 81, a couple of months short of the wedding date. Everybody was devastated. We mourned for her, and it felt like the semangat of the family also died with her. My MIL was very much affected by Arwah Wan's death of course, but, thinking that Arwah Wan would want the wedding to go ahead, my MIL braced herself and continued with the preparations, almost all the time with tears in her eyes. Ayah would have been my MIL's first child to get married, and she had REALLY wanted Arwah Wan to be there on that special day. But, Allah SWT lebih menyayangi Arwah Wan... (Al-Fatihah)

The chaotic mood turned very sombre in the first few weeks after Arwah Wan left us. However, as most of the things were already settled and finalized at that stage, everybody took everything slowly, and as the wedding loomed nearer, loose ends were tied, and we had meetings after meetings to make sure everything was on schedule and synchronized and also to make sure that everybody was aware of his / her responsibilities and duties on THE day.

It all boiled down to a waiting game. Waiting for the wedding date. And waiting for the groom to fly back to Malaysia...

Ayah finally came back 5 (or was it 6?!) days before the wedding, and within that 5 days he managed to persuade JAWI not to get him to go for the Kursus Kahwin Ekspress, and he got away with only a 10-minute interview with the JAWI people before they signed and approved his application to get married! And within that 5 days, too, we managed to get the wedding ring, and the sepersalinan jewelries (according to my family's traditions). And within that 5 days, too, Ayah managed to go for his baju pengantin fitting sessions himself, and a special mandi lulur for the groom, while I was having my own mandi lulur (Errrr....NOT together. NOT in the same tub or bathroom, okay? Hahaha!) And within that 5 days we managed to settle and submit whatever documents that needed to be filed and submitted to JAWI and JAIS (as Ayah was regarded as a Selangor resident). Memang senang hidup member....

Everything on schedule, everything finalized, and everything in order, on the night of 9th September 1994, dengan sekali lafaz, I became Ayah's legally wedded wife after 10 years, 4 months and 15 days of knowing each other...

9994 - Nombor keramat. Exactly 10 years, 4 months and 15 days after that fateful day on 26th April 1984, when I first got Ayah's letter through a mistaken identity...

Such is our jodoh. And syukur alhamdulillah our jodoh was really kuat despite the shaky and rocky (not-on-good-footing) start...

Everything was perfect. We were finally married. We were finally together! Yipppeee!!!

Or were we really?

It was the story of my life yet again. Sigh...

A reception on Ayah's side was held on 14th September, 1994 at PJ H****n, and this was followed by all the bertandang to the sanak-saudaras' houses we could fit in in 1week. And 10 days after the nikah, I followed Ayah back to the UK.

He was by then an SHO at Hull Royal Infirmary. But, we were only together in the UK for 10 days. Both of us, after a heart-to-heart talk a few months preceding the wedding, had agreed that I should establish my career as a lawyer in Malaysia, while Ayah was to work and sit for his MRCP exams in the UK...

So, 3 weeks after becoming Mrs. Ayah, I boarded the BA KL-bound flight, leaving my dearest hubby alone in the UK. And I cried my heart out throughout the whole 13 hours flight back to KL...

To be continued? Or The End?

Tak kuasa!!!!

I'm taking my lunch break now - without taking lunch. Ayah's coming over to my side of the Uni to have lunch together in an hour's time, and after that I'd have to go to this Haluansiswa Programme which will probably take me away from the office for the rest of the afternoon. And next week, the students will be swarming the campus again as the new Academic Year starts. Sigh...

Anyway, I just need to say this -

Tak kuasa nak dengar and nak cakap about what's happening out there. People out there pakai sedap cakap aje! My two cents -

(a) if these people don't know anything, and are just talking *%#@* based on emotions and ketaksuban,

(b) AND if these people refuse to listen to anything other than what THEY want to hear,

(c) AND if these people don't have concrete facts and evidence to support THEIR arguments and/or opinion or cakap kosong,

(d) AND if these people want to kutuk orang lain based on something they themselves don't know anything about, or not sure of,

Then these people should JUST SHUSH THEIR MOUTHS UP.

And this goes to BOTH sides okay?!

On one hand -

Were these people there when it happened? Can they be the star witnesses of the alleged crime? How sure are they that there's NO conspiracy?

On the other hand -

Were these people there with him at some other place at the time the alleged crime took place? Can they be his alibis? Do these people REALLY know that he didn't do it?

If the answers to all of the above are "NO", then, SERIOUSLY - people should not say anything if they know zilch about what really happened.

And they should use their brain more before opening their mouths.

Pikir la sendiri. Jangan buat dosa kering - and again, this goes to BOTH sides, okay?

Do these people REALLY know the people allegedly involved to judge them?

Don't these people have anything better to do than kutuk and humiliate the alleged "doer" and "doee" without anything to back their beliefs and/or ketaksuban?

We WILL never know what REALLY happened, because banyak benar putar belit...from BOTH sides.

Whatever it is, whether he/they did or did not do - it's between him/them and Allah SWT...

SO, JUST SHUSH!!!

TAK KUASA!!!!!