Wednesday, May 2, 2007

There were times...

There were times (lots of times...) when I thought I could not finish what I have started.

There were times when I could not sleep just thinking about it.

There were times when I could sleep - but only to have nightmares about it.

There were times when I finally fell asleep - only to have been woken up by the sheer coldness of my sweat.

There were times when I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

There were times when I could not even see the tunnel.

There were times when I felt like my heart just could not go on.

There were times when I felt like disappearing from the face of the earth.

There were times when I felt like nobody understood.

Yes...there were times...

But, there's also today.

Today ONE person said that SHE believes that I CAN do this - even if it might take slightly longer than we first anticipated.

The crux of the matter is -

SHE UNDERSTANDS...AND SHE BELIEVES.

And, because of that - I BELIEVE...

Thank you, ICC...


* This entry is specially dedicated to all PhD candidates out there, wherever you are... Keep holding on...Just believe! *

10 comments:

Ayah said...

Well I believe in you too, dear... Maybe, I felt a bit upset when I found out it would take a bit longer. That was a natural reaction from a hubby who's been kept apart from his wife for so long...

...But I understand now and I will support you all the way.

Well, you unselfishly waited for me so that I could pursue my studies and career. You resigned from your steady job so that you could join me in the UK. You stayed with me..supported me..encouraged me..shared my joy and sorrow. You cheered me up when the chips were down. You were my best friend thru those trying times.

And now, it's your turn to pursue your dreams. How can I not understand? How can I be so selfish? Remember, my dear, that your dreams are mine too. I will always be there for you, my dear....as you have always been there for me...

I believe in you...

Ayah

WANSHANA said...

Ayah,

I know you do...

Yes, it's going to take slightly longer than originally planned, but, it's slowly BUT surely now for me...and I know that you will be there for me, through thick and thin - as always...

The next 12 months will be the most difficult phase in my quest for yet another scroll, and I REALLY need you and the kids to just bear with me, please...

BUT I WILL BE IN MALAYSIA, DEAR...

The Yoga Instructor said...

Beauty, beautiful..

WANSHANA said...

Dear Ninie/The (Amazing!)Yoga Instructor -

Because it comes from the heart...

MINAH CELOTEH said...

if the comments btween d both of u can be this romancy & touchy...those long distance letters must b treasures of the heart

WANSHANA said...

Dear Minah Celoteh,

For the moment the letters are stored safely in the "Archives" at our parents' houses.(I hope they're still there!!!)

But, who knows - in 5o years time they're going to be made public? And THEN you can see for yourself if they are treasures (or not?!)

But, of course, for hubby and I - they're very precious even if people think otherwise!! Winks*!

(Hmmm...Ini kena tinggal wasiat untuk anak-anak to guard the letters well ni...)

Ibu said...

Shana ...

Hang in there, girl! Though we miss you dearly here, especially during red-box session (which i believe is happening tonite, but here i am blogging away just for you... sat lagi phone berdering la tuh!), we'll always be behind every step you take towards your PhD. Iyo lah 'behind', coz we all tak larat dah nak take a step forward or side by side together2 with you buat PhD. hehe...

It's already within your reach. Don't lose sight of it. You go girl! Now that's an instruction from your choleric ibu.

Daaaa.... :)

WANSHANA said...

Dear Ibu,

Thanks! Hmmm...the last lap ni lah yang paling menyakitkan jiwa dan raga sebenarnya!

Kalaulah dapat join you all kat Red Box, memang 3 tahun punya tension dan gundah gulana boleh lenyap - especially kalau "Tiang" ada sekali...Eherks!! Guarantee segala suka duka and rasa segan nak berkaraoke akan hilang coz' ada jugak orang macam "Tiang" kat dunia ni yang akan menyanyi dan menyanyi, walau dia sebenarnya bukanlah "menyanyi" dalam erti kata sebenarnya...Kwang Kwang Kwang...

Just thinking about you guys kat Red Box tonight is making me smile over here...

Kenang daku dalam lalakanmu...

Spena said...

K. Shana, you are one strong lady. I wish I could be as strong as you....

WANSHANA said...

Dear Spena,

Thanks... But, on my own, I am not strong at all.

I am strong because of the do'a made by my family and friends, but, most of all because ALLAH s.w.t is keeping me - my physical and mental beings, strong.

And I know ALLAH has put me through all these because HE knows that I can take the dugaan.

Alhamdulillah...Insya Allah...

EVERYONE is strong - including you, my dear!