23 years on...

I don’t think any of my family members (or even Ayah’s, for that matter) knew the exact story behind how Ayah and I first got to know each other - which is rather strange, since I’m pretty sure that all of our closest friends are ever so familiar with our “love story” – a love story fit to be an epic Hindustani movie, somebody once remarked! ( I don’t know about that!!) A story which (fortunately!) I will not go into here because it would be like “Hikayat 1001 Malam”!

Suffice to say that it was on this day 23 years ago that I first got to know Ayah. It was on this day 23 years ago that I received the first of the hundreds of letters Ayah would be writing to me over the years. It was on this day 23 years ago that I received Ayah’s letter written to me (and as fate has it) through a mistaken identity! ( I don’t think I have ever thanked Y and her sister enough for unintentionally orchestrating that mistaken identity! Thank you guys…for then, and even more so – for what it is now). It was on this day 23 years ago a friendship between a boy in KK and a girl in JB blossomed - a friendship which evolved into love, trust and eventually, syukur alhamdulillah, a blissful marriage.

23 years ago today, when I received Ayah’s FIRST letter, never did I imagine that I would end up marrying him. Call it strange, or even ridiculous, but going into his FIFTH or SIXTH letter that he wrote to me, even though the content was far from being amorous then, I somehow knew that HE was the one for me…I just could not explain it…I just knew.

Ayah would number ALL the letters and messages that he wrote to me, and they went into the hundreds as the ritual continued after we left high school - throughout “KPP”, “A” Levels, University days and beyond! I can still remember our ever faithful friends who became our “Royal Mail personnel”, especially in KPP. They would bring messages to and fro, between Ayah and me, be it day or night! These friends have stood by us through thick and thin and we have been the staunchest of friends even until today. To them I also would like to say, “Thank you, guys!!!” (You know who you are!).

Ayah and I got married 10 years, 4 months and 15 days AFTER that FIRST letter, and even after I have become his lawfully wedded wife, Ayah would still write letters to me whenever we were apart….and yes, he would still number them.

Somehow over the years, throughout the hustle and bustle of family life and work commitments, the letters became scarce…They became few, and far between….and eventually, whenever we would be apart from each other, our love-line would only be the phone calls and the e-mails. And IF Ayah were to have his way and continued to number them, these would also go into the hundreds or even thousands, I’m sure!

I’d love to think that being such a romantic that he is, amongst all of the sweetest things that Ayah has ever done, the numbering of his love letters to me would always be the one that I would always cherish and remember fondly. Just thinking about it brings goose bumps all over me…Just thinking about it makes me feel like a 16 year old again!

I used to think that I could not survive the day, and that I could not live without those numbered love letters from him. While waiting for his next letter to come, I would read, and read, and read all his letters, over and over again – chronologically!

BUT, that was then. This is now.

23 years on, today I want him to know that I can now live without his numbered love letters so, so easily…

For I have come to realize that I did not marry him because of the numbered love letters…I married him because of HIM…the whole of his being…

It is true of the saying that you don’t marry someone you can live with. You marry the person whom you cannot live without…

And I married him, 10 years 4 months and 15 days after that FIRST letter which I received 23 years ago today, because I could not, and cannot live without HIM, without the whole of his being…

So, today - 23 years on, I would like to say these to my dearest hubby –

Thank you for the best years of my life…Thank you for being you…Thank you for letting me be me…Thank you for the good times – for they made our love strong…Thank you for the bad times – for they made us stronger…

HAPPY 23rd ANNIVERSARY, my darling Ayah…

Wassalam…


….To those who are looking for love out there, wherever you are…Just believe. Love will overwhelm you with a whole myriad of emotions. And IF your love is fated to last, then it will last….And when you find love, be thankful that you have that privilege of basking in the glory of the most glorious love…because all love are the most glorious love…even if it doesn't last... Just treasure the moments...