Friday, April 20, 2007

Of moms and moms-in-law...

Mak (my mother-in-law) is flying back to KL tonight, and once again, I feel the emptiness in me…just as when Ayah left for KL 3 weeks ago…

I was in London from Friday (13th April) until Tuesday (17th April) to spend some time with Mak, and as much as I wanted to stay on in London, I had to come back to Newcastle as work was beckoning me…

It had been a great weekend – Mak was filling me up with all the updates on her cucus - my kids, and how they have changed in the last 3 months I have been away. She was saying how Hilman especially, has now become quite a ‘big boy’. Mak brought with her videos and pictures of the kids taken on Hasya’s birthday the other day, and I have to agree with Mak – my kids look so much grown up now! It’s amazing how 3 months could change my babies…and I just can’t wait to go home in June and hug, and smell them, and wrestle with them!

Going shopping with Mak has never failed to amaze me and it always is an experience to follow her in and out of the shops. And this time around, her shopping was mainly for her seven cucus (one full luggage weighing 22 kilograms of stuff for them!!!), and she only started shopping for herself over the last weekend. And maaannn…did she SHOP! It has been about 4 years since she last came to London, and so it was ‘balas dendam’ time for her. Hahahaha! And she truly deserved all the pampering and the shopping on herself! It has been a very demanding couple of years for her, and she really needed the break, she really needed the pampering…And I’m glad that she had a really good time while in London.

Somebody once said that you can never love your mother-in-law like you love your own mom…But, I beg to differ. I am truly blessed that I have such a wonderful and understanding mother-in-law, someone who is very generous and kind, and is always objective when it comes to dealing with her own children, or children-in-law: she is never biased. I know she loves me like her own daughter, just as I love her like I love Mommy (my own mom). Nothing more, nothing less…

Yes - they might not be of the same character. Yes - they can be so different from each other in so many ways. Yes - you have been your mom's baby ever since you were in her womb, while your mom-in-law only became part of your life after you married her son... But, that does not mean that it is not possible to love both of them the same...

Both Mak and I just could not control our tears when we said our goodbyes on Tuesday as I was leaving London for Newcastle, and when I called to speak to Mak just before she left for Heathrow just now, we both just cried our heart out…

To all daughters-in-law out there who feel that it is not possible to love your mother-in-law like you love your own mother, wherever you are, believe me – it IS possible…you might have to make extra efforts initially, but in time it will come to you naturally, insya Allah. And if ever you feel that you should not or could not love her as you love your own mom, for fear of ‘betraying’ your own mom, just think – as mothers yourselves, wouldn’t you want your own daughter to be loved and accepted by her mother-in-law as her own daughter? I know Mommy is ever so thankful to Allah SWT that I get along so well with Mak. I also know that Mommy also treats all her daughters-in-law like her own daughters…and as her daughter I don’t feel bitter about it. Why should I?

There is enough love in both Mommy’s and Mak’s hearts to go around for everyone…. And there is definitely more than enough love in my heart for BOTH of them…

Wassalam…

5 comments:

Ayah said...

There is a saying that when u get married to a person, u get married to the family as well.

Well, my dearest wife...u came into my life and immediately blended into my family so seamlessly. And I know for sure that Mak regards u like her own daughter...as much as u think of her as ur own mom.

Ayah

AM said...

aaawh.
point noted.

aawh again.
for Ayah's comment :-)

(me bloghopping from Ninie's)

wanshana said...

Dear am,

aaawh...thanks for hopping by!

SitiNur said...

Wow! Touched. Can't agree more. 150% betul. I am also blessed with very understanding MIL. Alhamd!

wanshana said...

Dear SitiNur,

Syukur alhamdulillah...

Our Syurga sebagai isteri adalah di tangan our husbands....Syurga bagi our husbands - sebagai anak - adalah di bawah tapak kaki ibu mereka...our moms-in-law...