It’s my Darling Hasya Sofea’s birthday today…and words just can’t describe how I’m feeling right now for not being there with her on this day that she turns 8…I just can’t believe that I am missing yet another one of my children’s birthday…
I cried my eyes out when I was not there when Hanna turned 11 in November last year…and I pray to Allah SWT that I will not miss Hilman’s 7th birthday this September, insya Allah…I don’t think my heart can take all these anymore…
It just breaks my heart every time I recall what Hasya said to me yesterday when we spoke over the phone – “Mommy, why can’t you come back just for one day tomorrow? Just for my birthday…Just ONE day, Mommy…”
And, it does not help, now that Hilman has already started his countdown of the number of days left before he could snuggle up and sleep with Mommy again….He kept on asking the other day, “Why can’t it be seventeen more days….Why does it have to be seventy more days, Mommy….I want you to come back in seventeen days, Mommy…"
And just as I’m writing this….I am crying… like I’ve…never…cried…before…
Please forgive Mommy for not being able to grant you that wish for your birthday today, Hasya sayang…If only you knew just how much I want to be there…with you, with Kak Long, Hilman and Ayah…If only you knew…
And Hilman sayang…If only you knew how many times I wished that I had my own way...how wished I would be back TODAY….and you would not even have to wait seventeen more days to be with Mommy….If only you knew…If only I could…
And Hanna sayang, even though Mommy had somewhat made up to you for missing your birthday during my short break the other day, I still feel that I have not done enough to make up to you fully…If only you knew how I wished I could do more…
Mommy will make up for all the days lost, sayang… Mommy know that it would never the same, and it would never be enough…But, Mommy promise that Mommy would do my best to make up for all the days lost – the best I know, the best I could…
Happy Birthday, my Darling Chimin....I love you so, very much…
I love all of you…so, very much…
Please, please… pray for me, wherever you are….Please pray that Allah SWT will give me strength to go through the coming months without my darling babies with me…
Thank you…God Bless…
Wassalam…
I cried my eyes out when I was not there when Hanna turned 11 in November last year…and I pray to Allah SWT that I will not miss Hilman’s 7th birthday this September, insya Allah…I don’t think my heart can take all these anymore…
It just breaks my heart every time I recall what Hasya said to me yesterday when we spoke over the phone – “Mommy, why can’t you come back just for one day tomorrow? Just for my birthday…Just ONE day, Mommy…”
And, it does not help, now that Hilman has already started his countdown of the number of days left before he could snuggle up and sleep with Mommy again….He kept on asking the other day, “Why can’t it be seventeen more days….Why does it have to be seventy more days, Mommy….I want you to come back in seventeen days, Mommy…"
And just as I’m writing this….I am crying… like I’ve…never…cried…before…
Please forgive Mommy for not being able to grant you that wish for your birthday today, Hasya sayang…If only you knew just how much I want to be there…with you, with Kak Long, Hilman and Ayah…If only you knew…
And Hilman sayang…If only you knew how many times I wished that I had my own way...how wished I would be back TODAY….and you would not even have to wait seventeen more days to be with Mommy….If only you knew…If only I could…
And Hanna sayang, even though Mommy had somewhat made up to you for missing your birthday during my short break the other day, I still feel that I have not done enough to make up to you fully…If only you knew how I wished I could do more…
Mommy will make up for all the days lost, sayang… Mommy know that it would never the same, and it would never be enough…But, Mommy promise that Mommy would do my best to make up for all the days lost – the best I know, the best I could…
Happy Birthday, my Darling Chimin....I love you so, very much…
I love all of you…so, very much…
Please, please… pray for me, wherever you are….Please pray that Allah SWT will give me strength to go through the coming months without my darling babies with me…
Thank you…God Bless…
Wassalam…
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