Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I want him to know...

Ayah is in KB tonight. He's being asked to be an external examiner for a Clinical Exam for Masters students of U*M Medical School there. He took the cab to KLIA at 4:30pm today, and Insya Allah he'll be back by 10:00pm tomorrow night. He'll only be away for just over 24 hours, but somehow I am missing him....And I mean REALLY missing him.

It's not as if he has never been away before. In fact, he's a seasoned traveller - often leaving me with the kids for days, sometimes more than a week at any one time. And more often than not, he would be away to places much, much further than KB. And, hey... we were apart for 7 months when I was in Newcastle just some time ago.

So, the only explanation as to why it is that I'm feeling extra melancholy NOW about him being away is that I've been reading Shila's, Idham's and D's latest postings tonight (especially D's) which have stirred some really deep emotions in me...

I guess there can never be enough time spent with our loved ones.

I guess sometimes we do take our loved ones for granted.

I guess sometimes we just assume that they know we love them.

I guess sometimes we do not realize just how significant the things in our lives which we see as insignificant, are.

I guess sometimes we refuse to acknowledge, or we choose not to linger too long or too much on the facts of life...that the inevitable will happen.

I guess sometimes we just don't want to think beyond today or tomorrow.

I guess sometimes we just assume too much about everything and anything.

I guess sometimes we take a LOT of things for granted.

And I KNOW that I'm not alone in being guilty of all of the above.

So, I just want Ayah to know that tonight -

I miss the sound of his car driving into the driveway.

I also miss the sound of his key going through the keyhole as he unlocks the front door.

I miss the sound of his car when he turns the alarm on.

I miss watching him hug his kids as he enters through the front door.

I miss his peck on my cheeks.

I miss his hugs.

I miss the sound of the cutleries as he has his dinner.

I miss the never-ending phone calls he receives from, and makes to the hospital.

I miss watching him wrestle with and/or tickle his kids on the floor.

I miss watching him perform his solat.

I miss his sneeze.

I miss watching him (TRY TO) do his work at home...

And hey, I have to admit - I even miss the sound of his gentle snoring...

And I miss the three little words that he would say to me every night before he says his "goodnight" and goes to sleep...

And tonight, I just want to say - I love you, too...very, very much.

See you tomorrow night, dear.

23 comments:

Mr Engineer said...

Hmmm...time goes a lot slower when you miss the one you love....

WANSHANA said...

Dear mr engineer,

Thank you for visiting :)

Yup - very slow indeed... Sigh...

IBU said...

Wan Shana,

Ayah you dah balik belum? Kesiannnn....

Mr Engineer tu kan .... must be going thru the same blues la tu..... Aiya ... Mr Engineer - kesian la you, i bet the feeling is not mutual with your wifey - coz dia dok sebok menyopping sakan.... hehehe....
I must remember to text her to buy me a fridge magnet.

WANSHANA said...

Ibu,

Belum balik lagi laaaa...

He's somewhere up there between Kota Bharu and KL now - insya Allah reaching home in less than 2 hours.

Chicken rice waiting for him at home (unfortunately NOT home-cooked, but courtesy of TCRS...Hehehe!)

WANSHANA said...

Alamak Mr. Engineer!!!

Ya Ampunnnn!!! I didn't know it was you, maaaaannnn!!! No wonder la melancholic giler...

But, I have to agree with Ibu laa... I bet dalam kesibukan menyopping kat all the factory outlets kat sanun tu, terlupa jugak wifey kat hubby...Hehehe!

Kejap aje lagi tu wifey nak balik M'sia... Hang in there, okay?

P/S : Kalau sakit dada tengok her excess luggage tu, you know who to call. Hahahaha!

Azian Hasan said...

Shana,
Aduh..romantiknya.Bila baca tu rasa nak terbang je..tentu you siksa menunggu husband you balik kan .Seminit macam sejam tak gitu?

WANSHANA said...

Azian,

Hehehehe! More like seminit macam sehari!

Anyway, penantian sudah pun berakhir - Ayah is home now :D

Happy! Happy! Happy!

Spena said...

Sist, I've stopped for the past 5 days and you make me start crying again...as I miss Habibi all the time.We get to meet a few months once only.

Ayah said...

U missed my "gentle snoring"? Awww...really? ;p

I missed u too, darling...

WANSHANA said...

Spena,

Sorry to have made you cry again, dear...

I know how it feels not to be able to be with someone you love all the time. I had my share of just that some time ago when I had to leave Ayah and the kids in M'sia for 7 months!

Ayah came to visit every 2-3 months but, it was an emotional roller-coaster for me every time.

It is tough, yes...But, you have to hang in there, my dear.

My do'a that everything will be okay for you and your Habibi.

Take care.

WANSHANA said...

Ayah,

Yes - really...

Mr Engineer said...

Dear Wan Shana,

Oopsss...I guess my feeble attempt to be anonymous is not working. Thanks to ibu, hehehe.

Actually, Wifey is back home already. She is lying low now while accessing the damage due to bouts of uncontrolled shopping madness while in you know where. The checked-in baggage was 2kg overweight. The hand luggage was filled to the brim. I was told that there is another box/trunk which is making its way to Malaysia!

Anyway, I am glad that she is back home safe. But I am hearing another trip to "seberang" with some members of the Majlis Tertinggi??

WANSHANA said...

Dear Mr Engineer,

I clicked on to your site when you commented the first time around, and I loooked at your profile - you being an engineer, consulting line, cheras area, father of four, etc - but, I for the life of me could not put two and two together! Haiyyyaaa...

Anyway, glad that wifey is home now. Sure you tengah lompat hula-hula...:D

Errrr...don't tell me you DID NOT EXPECT the shopping madness from her, my dear?!

About the seberang trip - Yup! Tengah working on the blueprint now ni. Hehehe!

Salam and hugs to wifey (if you're still in talking terms with her after her shopping madness, that is...) Hehehe!

suria said...

I know how you felt.My hubby was working in Penang for two years .He came back every weekend but I miss every day.For 2 years I did not get use to him not being around.Now he is back to KL and I am so glad.But you know what ..when he is not around and missing him so much and he missing me too wahhh rasa macam remaja balik....hehehe Absent make the heart grow fonder.

WANSHANA said...

Hi Suria,

Thank you for dropping by :D

Wow! Two years of only weekend time together? I don't think I would have stayed sane if it was me in your shoes!

Yes - absence does make the heart grow fonder, but I'm sure you'd rather have your hubby back with you in KL anytime than waiting for the heart to become fonder as you wait for him to come back from Penang every weekend, right?! Hehehe! Nothing compares to being together with him, eh?!

Hmmmm...if we want to feel like remaja all the time, it's not that hard actually. We just have to make a little effort to keep the passion alive - even when kita dah beranak cucu cicit nanti. I strongly believe that the older we get, the more expressive we should be about our feelings to our loved ones. We don't want any regrets, do we? :)

Take care, Suria.

MAMAMIA said...

Shana,

sekarang ni, bukan your hubby aje tahu, Semua orang tahu....

Anyway, we do tend to take things for granted. Sometimes, bila dah tak ada, baru terasa..

Hidayah said...

Emm..my dad dok plak 7 years.KL-Klg.weekend br balik.respect sungguh kt mom,btw kak shana,your daughter's result mcm mana?sure cerah :)

WANSHANA said...

Mamamia,

Tak per lah... Biar semua orang tahu. We're hubby and wifey, what... Hehehe!

I think so many people tend to not say or show their love and affections for their loved ones openly. It is just not our culture. I guess as long as it is not too over-the-top, it's okay.

We don't want to leave it until it's too late, do we?

IBU said...

Shana.... Wahhh...itu madam cheras is back home already ha? So quiet !
Jom kita pi godam dia...

Mr Engineer... err.. bila you all nak host afternoon tea ni? You know... we need to verify whether your allegations or rather assessment of all those excess luggage are trur or not. Hehehe...

p/s Teh tarik satu!

WANSHANA said...

Dear Hidayah,

Thank you for dropping by :)

Both your parents must be two of the most patient people around to have been able to go through that...Syukur alhamdulillah.

And syukur alhamdulillah, also - Hanna did well in her UPSR. Thank you.

Take care, Hidayah.

WANSHANA said...

Ibu,

Itu Madam Cheras banyak shopping for stuff for their new house tu, I'm sure.

Errr, Ibu... apasal lak nak order teh tarik from Madam Cheras? Your bibik punya teh tarik kan ke dah cukup kawww?!

Mr Engineer,

Errr...by the way, FONT floor plan rumah baru tu, wifey dah finalized ke belum?!!

idham said...

wanshana...just seen this entry...love it...and am sure 'ayah' would appreciate to see this on paper....a heart felt 'kerinduan' seorang isteri...

my best wishes for u and ayah to be forever happy and blessed with love for each other.

idham

WANSHANA said...

Abang Id,

Thank you for the wishes. Amin... Insya Allah :)

It is also heart-warming to read about you and K.LiL, and your kids in your blog - a very loving family.

It's quite rare to find a man who openly declares his love for his wife, you know... But, I've come across some pleasant postings in blogosphere lately dedicated to the wives (you, Mior, Che gu - to name a few.) Rare species - priceless. Hehehe!

Take care, and salam to K.LiL, please :D