We are "semi-good neighbours" now (?)...

Remember my posting on how people perceive or judge other people by looking at the cars they drive? And that because both Ayah and I drive our national cars, we could not be put in the "Good Neighbours" category?

Hmmmm...What if Ayah "pasang lagi satu" in the form of this?



Does this mean we are now in the "Semi-good neighbours" category? Hehehe...

Anyway, Ayah got his new car a few weeks back, after years of me persuading him to get a proper sedan. He had been driving his Naza after we sold off our 12-year old second-hand banged up Audi 100 2.3l in 2004 (we brought the Audi back from the UK in 1997). He was happy with his Naza. In fact, he was (and still is) VERY happy with it.

He only started seriously considering getting a sedan about 8 months back and was waiting for a new model to come out which would be worthed buying. A lot of our friends and family suggested the new Camry (what a beauty that is, kan?), but, as Mak already has that Camry at home, Ayah being Ayah, he was not really keen on getting the same car for himself. So, it was actually quite a tough thing trying to decide on which car to get. With him not wanting to get the exact same cars as Mak's or his or my siblings' or our friends', we didn't have much choice of good/nice cars left there, did we? Nasib baik we didn't opt for Perdana - such HIGH maintenance, that car, huh? Or is it only if we live in Terengganu? ;) Hehehe...

Anyway, so, when we heard that Honda was launching the new Accord in April, we decided to check it out. We brought the kids along, and they just loved it! With a 4 to 1 vote for the Black model, I lost. I had wanted the silver/blue-ish model. But, I've also seen the gold one on the road a few times, and I think that's awesome, too! It's okay lah - as long as Ayah and the kids are happy, I'm happy :) So, black it is.

But, we had to wait for more than 2 months to get the car.

So now, we have an MPV in the form of the Naza - our family/weekend car which has to be parked outside our gate as our porch is just way too small to fit all three cars in. Well, actuallynya boleh fit if tak ader this tiang in the middle of the porch. We deliberated on over whether we should do a bit of renovation to remove that tiang and change the gate, etc., but, decided against it as insya Allah, next year dah nak pindah to the new house anyway. Might as well use the money to renovate the new house, right?

We have a small 4x4 (if you can call it that) in the form of the Kembara - MY faithful car which I drive to work, to pasar, to run errands, to ferry my kids around to wherever it is they need to be ferried around to.

And we have a sedan in the form of the Accord - Ayah's car which he drives to work now (alternating with his Naza every other week - coz' takut nanti his Naza "merajuk"...Hehehe)

But, let me fill you guys in into a piece of fact. If you guys want to know, I have NEVER EVER driven the Naza and the Accord since we bought them. Not even once. And the Naza has been with us for the last 4 years! Reason being - I ni penakut nak drive big cars! Ada phobia sikit (or rather, BANYAK!) Hehehe! In fact, I have NEVER driven any other cars (not my siblings', in-laws', friends', etc.) apart from MY Kembara!

My Kembara was my FIRST and the ONLY car I've bought and driven thus far (I only sat for my driving test and got my licence in 1998, BUT, only started driving in 2003 at the age of 35!) I'm so used to driving a small 'elevated' car, that I don't think I can start driving a big car (and so near to the ground some more).

Ayah has been asking me to drive his Accord whenever he's taking the Naza, but NOOOOOOO WAAAAAAYYYY I'm driving that car, man...

Whatever it is, we have yet to qualify for the "VERY Good Neighbours" title.

No Beemers, no Mercs, no Jags and the likes parked on our porch the last time I checked maaaa...

Bila lah agaknya boleh upgrade ourselves to the "Very Good Neighbours" category ni, ya? ;)

Hmmmm...Tak per lah . While Ayah is now in the "Semi-good Neighbours" category, I can continue sitting in my warm and comfortable seat in the "Not-so-good neighbours" club for now... Hehehe...

The Sequel : This is IT...

Finally, the LAST in the series of Cerita Chenta...

The 10 years 4 months and 15 days roller-coaster ride (to borrow Dad of 4+1's description of the saga) from the first time Ayah and I got to know each other when we were 16, was sealed with the Akad Nikah on 9th September 1994, when both of us were 26 years old. But, we were still strapped to the seats of the roller-coaster carriage as there was still one small dip that we had to go through...

We thought we had it all figured out, and we thought we could handle it. We had charted our career paths so that when the time were to come for us to settle down and start a family, we would have already somewhat established ourselves in our respective careers. We had been apart before - many, many times in fact, and we should not have any problems being apart again. Or so we thought.

But, Boy...little did we know that it was not going to be the same once we were married...

After saying goodbye to Ayah at Heathrow's Terminal 4 that day, and after going through the longest 13-hour flight back to KL, and after being so dehydrated (for being in the long-haul flight AND from crying non-stop!), life had to go on and we had to get back into our daily routines.

I had been on a month's leave, preparing for the wedding and also to join Ayah for a short while in the UK, and I found it SOOOOOOOO difficult to get back into the groove. And the fact that I had piles and piles of work waiting for me at the office when I finally reported back for duty was not helping at all. Those files should have taken my mind off Ayah, but, instead, Ayah was taking my mind off the files!!!

I was missing him terribly. I kept on thinking if his makan-minum, if his baju-pakai segala were okay, if his house was in order, etc. (As if before he got married to me he didn't eat, he didn't pakai baju, and he didn't live in a house (??!!), etc! Hehehe...)

But, it was different. I felt that as his wife, I should be making sure that his life was teratur and I should have been there to offer the care, comfort and warmth to her husband as a wife should. Or so, I initially thought. On hindsight, I realized that in fact, it was probably the other way round.

I was the one who needed Ayah to be with me. I was the one who needed him to be there with me when I got back home from work. I needed him there so that we could talk about everything under the sun. I needed him there with me when I went a visiting families and friends, ESPECIALLY when people kept on asking about him 24/7. I needed him to be there when I was not well. I needed him to be there when I was sad. I needed him to be there when I was happy. I just needed him to be there when I closed my eyes at night. I just needed him to be there.

Selfish? Maybe.

Profound love for my husband? I would like to think that as 'Definitely'.

And I would alternate my stay between my parents' and my in-laws'. I knew that my in-laws became my parents, too, the day we got married. I was and am also responsible for their well-being, especially when their son was not there with them. And it wasn't helping at all that the in-laws' place was full of stuffs and pictures reminding me of Ayah. His prints were all over the house. And his (pleasant :)) smell, too... Saying that I was "depressed" during those months would be a gross understatement.

And to say that I was thrilled when Ayah came back for a short-break in February 1995, five months after we got married, would also be a gross understatement, too. I was more thrilled than thrilled x infinity and beyond :)

We needed the time alone, and as we had not really gone for a proper honeymoon, we decided to get away for a few days just the two of us. And Syukur Alhamdulillah for supercool and sporting parents - Mak and Arwah Daddy were so kind when they sponsored our honeymoon in Bali. 5 heavenly days were spent in beautiful Bali that February. It was pure bliss...

But, a few days after coming back from our honeymoon trip, we had to part ways again when Ayah had to fly back to the UK. Sobs...

I remember feeling very heart-sick for quite some time after our goodbyes. True when they say, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah... I was feeling pretty sick, and started losing weight. My health took a toll when I was down with fatigue which was compounded with food-poisoning at the end of March that year and I was totally flattened. Deep inside I knew that it was not because of my physical health, but more so because I was just feeling so down being alone. And I remember crying myself to sleep every night back then...

I was so emotional and so easily hurt. "Ultra-sensitive" was my middle name. And I was ever so grumpy. And it didn't help that I was also feeling quite sickly most of the time.

Not surprising....As I found out at the end of March that I was pregnant...

I was a week late, and I thought that it was due to emotional and physical stress, and of course because I was down with food poisoning and all. And I contribute my throwing-up bouts and fatigues to that. But, I remember telling myself, "What if?"

And just to be on the safe side, off I went to Guardian and bought myself a Home Preggie test kit, during one of my (many) coffee breaks at work. I remember feeling very nervous. I remember reading the instructions on the test kit for maybe 73 times just to make sure that I understood it. I remember doing the test in the office loo. And I remember seeing the 2 blue lines appearing almost immediately. And I remember crying...

No. NOT because I was sad that I was pregnant (of course NOT!!!), but I was sad because Ayah was not there with me to see the 2 blue lines...

I was pretty excited and anxious, of course, and quickly asked my Boss (Encik Ha*an***in) if I could just slip out for an hour. The nearest clinic happened to be an O&G clinic (THE Dr Col*n Le* Women's Clinic in Damansara Utama) which was just within 5 minutes walking distance. And within half an hour, it was confirmed - I was indeed pregnant...

I walked back to the office, but I just couldn't call Ayah from there (this was during the Ice Age when handphones and SMS were still a novelty and skype and the likes were not heard of). Furthermore, it was about 4a.m in the morning in the UK and I didn't want to wake him up! But, I needed to tell someone. I tried calling my Mom but nobody was home, so I called one of my MT friends, Ab** to tell her the good news.

And when I told her that she was the FIRST to know, she gave me a - "Shana, are you crazy??!! You mean you have NOT told Haizal yet?!!, etc." And THAT was enough for me to straight away ask my Boss if I could call Ayah using the office phone.

I remember Ayah answering my call with a groggy voice (what do you expect? It was about 4a.m in the morning in the UK!) and him asking me if everything was okay, etc. I was trying not to sound anxious or excited, and we were just having small talks, when I said to Ayah -

Me : Guess what?

Ayah : Hmmm...what?

Me : You know I was not feeling well, and had food poisoning and was throwing up like nobody's business that day?

Ayah : Yeeessss...??

Me : Apparently it was not the food poisoning... Well, it was not JUST because of food poisoning.

Ayah : What do you mean? Are you okay?

Me : (Pause)...Yeah, I'm okay. In fact, I'm more than okay... I'm pregnant...

Ayah : (A BIG FAT 10 SECONDS PAUSE followed, and then he started laughing!) ARE YOU SURE???!!! I mean, have you seen the doctor? (And he continued laughing!) I'm just so happy! Imagine that! Syukur Alhamdulillah... Are you okay? How do you feel?! (And another 1001 questions and "Are you okays" from him after that:))

Me : (Also laughing from my end)...Yes, I have seen the doctor, and I did a home preggie test before that, etc.

And out of the blue, I said to Ayah -

Me : I want to quit my job. I want to be with you...

And I started crying... (Cememeh kan??!!!)

And what Ayah said after that made me cry even more -

"YES, I want you to be here with me as soon as you can. I will ask Mak to arrange with Chr**t*ne (Mak's travel agent) to get your flight tickets here as soon as possible. In the meantime, please take good care of yourself...and our baby, okay...?"

There was no pause, no doubts, no hesitation from Ayah.

Kalau ikutkan hati, I would have just dropped everything and taken the next flight out to Hull that day. But, of course that would not be fair to anyone. There were some loose ends to tie at work, and of course, I had to think of my Abah and Mommy, too. I should at least prepare them for yet another round of me leaving home and going back to the UK...

Remember when I said how sad I felt going to the Kursus Kahwin alone? And also going about preparing for the Wedding alone? Well, try going to an ante-natal check-up alone... Now, THAT was something else. It saddened me everytime I saw fellow Moms-to-be at the clinic with their hubbies, and there I was , with yet another story of my life - ALONE... But, Thank God, there were only two ante-natal check-ups that I had to go through before flying off to the UK.

After tendering in my one month notice of resignation, and after tying all the loose ends at work, and after paying all the dues within my social circles, at the end of May 1995 - 8 months after getting married, I bade farewell to my family and friends in Malaysia, and left for the UK to be with Ayah, to start OUR OWN little family...

We were finally REALLY together....

And the rest, as they say - is history...

- THE END -


* I would like to take this opportunity to say Thank You from the bottom of my heart to all who had followed Cerita Chenta from Day 1 until today. What started out as a posting to wish Ayah "A Happy 24th Anniversary of Knowing-each-other" on 26th April 2008, turned out to be a Prologue of a Series of Sequels of the roller-coaster rides Ayah and I had to go through before we finally tied the knot in 1994.

It had been a very nostalgic and heart-warming experience for me and Ayah, and writing the Cerita Chenta has made us feel even more closer to each other. And hey, the naturally romantic Ayah has become even more romantic now... (Buleh??!)

I hope that all our friends whom Ayah and I had made during the Cerita Chenta Series have enjoyed reading the stories, as much as I had enjoyed writing and sharing them here.

I truly treasure this very special friendship, and so does Ayah :)

I hope all of us will not stop reminiscing the yesteryears, so as to embark upon an even more meaningful future with our loved ones.

Just do it...

Reminisce.

God Bless. Wassalam.

Some pics...

As requested by some of my dear readers :)

THE Sequel : 9994

Okay. Where was I?

Yeah, right -

And the day for the engagement ceremony finally came. With 7 dulangs from Ayah's side, and 9 from my side, surrounded by families and friends, I officially became Ayah's fiancee when his Mom slipped the ring onto my ring finger on that morning of 19th December 1993...

And 3 days after that, Ayah had to fly back to the UK, leaving me yet again, in KL...


The story of my life, huh?

Anyway, realizing that we had about 9 months before the proposed wedding date, my Mommy and I got cracking with the preparations. There were so many things to do, and even though nine months seemed like ample time, it felt like everything was moving in a fast forward mode!

There was the hantaran (which we decided to do ourselves - my Mommy, my Aunty Nab and myself); there was the Mak Andam package; the caterers; the menus; the canopies; the kompang people; the baju pengantin; the shoes; the wedding cake; the flowers; the invitation cards; the bunga telur, the bunga pahar, the bilik pengantin, etc. And being the bride, my side also had to prepare for two Majlis - the Nikah and also the Reception. Due to the fact that most of my uncles and aunties were/are scattered all over Perak and Penang, and most of them could only travel down to KL on a weekend, we decided to hold the Reception and bersanding on a weekend. But, the date which Ayah and I had chosen for our nikah fell on a Friday. So, the solution was to have two kenduris. One on the night of the Nikah, and another one the next day. Memang fenin...

And every single plan and changes to the plans would have to be conveyed to my (then future) MIL. And of course, not only did I have to tend to my side's Majlis, I also had to go for the weekly meetings with my MIL and my SIL who were the Wedding Planners on Ayah's side. And I have to say, both of them were REALLY professional! And Ayah, would call every 3-5 days to get updates on everything... Memang senang hidup member...

He was not even there for the baju pengantin fitting session! And my SIL's then boyfriend (who more or less had the same built as Ayah) had to stand in and try the baju pengantin on behalf of Ayah! Can you all believe that? And he even stood in for Ayah for the food-tasting sessions! What the....?! As if?!

And of course - I had to deal with JAWI to book the Tok Kadhi, and segala mak nenek to do with getting witnesess, etc. AND...of course - the Kursus Kahwin...

God...the Kursus Kahwin! I think attending the Kursus Kahwin must have been the MOST difficult and depressing time for me running to the wedding. I was so stressed out with the preparations, etc., and it didn't help that I had to attend it A-L-O-N-E... Sakit jiwer tengok the others attending the course with their partners. And there I was, A-L-0-N-E...

Anyway, by that time I was already practicing at a legal firm in Damansara Utama, which was just 20 minutes away from my future in-laws' place in Section 17, and I would drop by at their house at every chance I got to synchronize things, and of course, getting to know them better. I became quite close to Ayah's Arwah Wan in the months leading to the wedding. I would sit with her in front of the TV in front of her room, and we would have lunch together - most of the times just the two of us, as my MIL would be at her office...

And in the midst of all the chaos leading to the wedding day, Arwah Wan passed away peacefully one evening at the age of 81, a couple of months short of the wedding date. Everybody was devastated. We mourned for her, and it felt like the semangat of the family also died with her. My MIL was very much affected by Arwah Wan's death of course, but, thinking that Arwah Wan would want the wedding to go ahead, my MIL braced herself and continued with the preparations, almost all the time with tears in her eyes. Ayah would have been my MIL's first child to get married, and she had REALLY wanted Arwah Wan to be there on that special day. But, Allah SWT lebih menyayangi Arwah Wan... (Al-Fatihah)

The chaotic mood turned very sombre in the first few weeks after Arwah Wan left us. However, as most of the things were already settled and finalized at that stage, everybody took everything slowly, and as the wedding loomed nearer, loose ends were tied, and we had meetings after meetings to make sure everything was on schedule and synchronized and also to make sure that everybody was aware of his / her responsibilities and duties on THE day.

It all boiled down to a waiting game. Waiting for the wedding date. And waiting for the groom to fly back to Malaysia...

Ayah finally came back 5 (or was it 6?!) days before the wedding, and within that 5 days he managed to persuade JAWI not to get him to go for the Kursus Kahwin Ekspress, and he got away with only a 10-minute interview with the JAWI people before they signed and approved his application to get married! And within that 5 days, too, we managed to get the wedding ring, and the sepersalinan jewelries (according to my family's traditions). And within that 5 days, too, Ayah managed to go for his baju pengantin fitting sessions himself, and a special mandi lulur for the groom, while I was having my own mandi lulur (Errrr....NOT together. NOT in the same tub or bathroom, okay? Hahaha!) And within that 5 days we managed to settle and submit whatever documents that needed to be filed and submitted to JAWI and JAIS (as Ayah was regarded as a Selangor resident). Memang senang hidup member....

Everything on schedule, everything finalized, and everything in order, on the night of 9th September 1994, dengan sekali lafaz, I became Ayah's legally wedded wife after 10 years, 4 months and 15 days of knowing each other...

9994 - Nombor keramat. Exactly 10 years, 4 months and 15 days after that fateful day on 26th April 1984, when I first got Ayah's letter through a mistaken identity...

Such is our jodoh. And syukur alhamdulillah our jodoh was really kuat despite the shaky and rocky (not-on-good-footing) start...

Everything was perfect. We were finally married. We were finally together! Yipppeee!!!

Or were we really?

It was the story of my life yet again. Sigh...

A reception on Ayah's side was held on 14th September, 1994 at PJ H****n, and this was followed by all the bertandang to the sanak-saudaras' houses we could fit in in 1week. And 10 days after the nikah, I followed Ayah back to the UK.

He was by then an SHO at Hull Royal Infirmary. But, we were only together in the UK for 10 days. Both of us, after a heart-to-heart talk a few months preceding the wedding, had agreed that I should establish my career as a lawyer in Malaysia, while Ayah was to work and sit for his MRCP exams in the UK...

So, 3 weeks after becoming Mrs. Ayah, I boarded the BA KL-bound flight, leaving my dearest hubby alone in the UK. And I cried my heart out throughout the whole 13 hours flight back to KL...

To be continued? Or The End?

Tak kuasa!!!!

I'm taking my lunch break now - without taking lunch. Ayah's coming over to my side of the Uni to have lunch together in an hour's time, and after that I'd have to go to this Haluansiswa Programme which will probably take me away from the office for the rest of the afternoon. And next week, the students will be swarming the campus again as the new Academic Year starts. Sigh...

Anyway, I just need to say this -

Tak kuasa nak dengar and nak cakap about what's happening out there. People out there pakai sedap cakap aje! My two cents -

(a) if these people don't know anything, and are just talking *%#@* based on emotions and ketaksuban,

(b) AND if these people refuse to listen to anything other than what THEY want to hear,

(c) AND if these people don't have concrete facts and evidence to support THEIR arguments and/or opinion or cakap kosong,

(d) AND if these people want to kutuk orang lain based on something they themselves don't know anything about, or not sure of,

Then these people should JUST SHUSH THEIR MOUTHS UP.

And this goes to BOTH sides okay?!

On one hand -

Were these people there when it happened? Can they be the star witnesses of the alleged crime? How sure are they that there's NO conspiracy?

On the other hand -

Were these people there with him at some other place at the time the alleged crime took place? Can they be his alibis? Do these people REALLY know that he didn't do it?

If the answers to all of the above are "NO", then, SERIOUSLY - people should not say anything if they know zilch about what really happened.

And they should use their brain more before opening their mouths.

Pikir la sendiri. Jangan buat dosa kering - and again, this goes to BOTH sides, okay?

Do these people REALLY know the people allegedly involved to judge them?

Don't these people have anything better to do than kutuk and humiliate the alleged "doer" and "doee" without anything to back their beliefs and/or ketaksuban?

We WILL never know what REALLY happened, because banyak benar putar belit...from BOTH sides.

Whatever it is, whether he/they did or did not do - it's between him/them and Allah SWT...

SO, JUST SHUSH!!!

TAK KUASA!!!!!

Pushing them to their (own) limits...

I reached the office at 7:32a.m this morning and it's now 9:48a.m.

And I'm feeling REALLY sleepy. Had a mug of very strong coffee just now, AND a packet of nasi lemak with kerang. I think the latter has overpowered my coffee. Time for a short break now.

As Ayah is away in Bangkok, I'm Hanna's supir for the next few days, meaning I had to leave the house at 6:45am this morning, so that she would be in school latest by 7:10a.m! I don't know about your kids, but for Hanna, it's such a sin to reach her school after 7:15a.m (and her school only starts at 7:35a.m, mind you!). It's the same with Hasya, who gets panicky if she were to reach school after 12:45p.m (and her school only starts at 1:10p.m!) Is it a GIRL thing or what?! Because it's not the same with Hilman - he's always oblivious of the time. It doesn't matter when he reaches his school, as long as he reaches his school. Simple.

After sending Hanna, I had to go to my MIL's to send Hasya's and Hilman's school uniforms, etc. Both of them spent the night at their Wan's. They had their mengaji class there last night, and as I knew we would have to leave the house very early this morning, and as such they would be deprived of their beauty sleep, I asked them to sleep with their Wan last night, to which they gladly agreed :). They were still asleep when I went to Mak's this morning, so, I decided to come to office early. And now I'm very sleepy...

Anyway, Hasya and Hilman had their Open Day last Thursday, and both Ayah and I went to see their teachers to discuss their progress in school and also to collect their Report Cards. And we had a very pleasant surprise that day, but at the same time, we felt quite bad...

We already knew that Hasya got No. 1 in her class. It was expected, in a way. Hasya is a choleric girl and very confident, and she knows what she wants. She has always got No. 1 (except once - and she was pretty upset then as she didn't like the feeling of being second best). And she always knows who her competition in her class would be, and she would make sure that she beats them, even without us prodding or pushing her. So, Ayah and I would just give her our encouragement all the way. She thrives on challenges.

This time around, her competition is a boy named I**an I**andar. They had never been in the same class before, and I**an had always got No. 1 in his class all these while, too. And Ayah and I were aware of this fact as we would always see him going on stage every year during Speech Days, etc. And when we knew that Hasya would be in the same class as I**ran this year, we always remind Hasya that she has to work harder to make sure that she stays on top. Hasya being Hasya, she does not need us to tell her that. She knows she HAS to do it.

And us being kiasu parents, after the exams, every time we fetch the kids from school, we would ask her what her marks were. And the next question would be, "What about I**an?" (Hehehe!) And we were not surprised when we found out that Hasya actually kept a record of every single marks that I**an got! There was a panic bout for a couple of days for Hasya, when I**an got 100% for his Maths, and Hasya got 93.5%, and for a few days, I**an was leading by 0.5 markah! And finally, when the marks came for Science, and Hasya got highest in her class, it was official - she beat I**an by 2.5 markah... And we didn't even have to ask her about it when we fetched her from school that day. She told us right after opening the car door, even before she got into the car! Hehehe...That's choleric Hasya for you.

As for Hilman, now...he's one very phlegmatic boy. He does his own thing, and most of the time, he would be oblivious of what's happening around him. And most of the times, he doesn't even know that a test or an exam is around the corner, or even what subjects he would be tested on the next day, etc! But, despite all that, last year he got No. 12 for his Mid-year, and for his Final Exams he got No.5 (and he was the best student for Science for his class).

Knowing our kids' traits and personality, we tend to treat them differently in terms of pushing them to their own limits. And we know what would work for each of them based on their characters and personality. And it is difficult to balance when we have 3 kids with 3 different personalities - one choleric, one phlegmatic and one sanguine (I wrote about this here)

So, for Hilman we didn't really push him that hard, but we know that he's a very smart boy. What works for Hasya may not necessarily work for Hilman. Yes, we prepare them the same way - no discrimination whatsoever in that department. Ayah would come up with the mock papers for Science and Maths for both of them before the exams, and I would come up with the mock papers for BM and English for the both of them. We would give them the same encouragement and love and hugs and kisses and good luck wishes every single day. But, we would push Hasya a bit more, as we know that she thrives on pressure and challenges. For Hilman, we would just ask him to do his very best, and avoid making careless mistakes, and check his work thoroughly. And there was no point to ask him to keep record of his "competition" in class, as he wouldn't even know who they are! That's phlegmatic Hilman for you.

But, we had some ideas as to who MIGHT be his competition when he would come back telling us what his friends got for their exams. Different names for different subjects - so it was difficult to assess from a variable of samples. But, we had some ideas. The first few days after getting some of his marks, Ayah and I had a feeling that he could be in the Top 5. And when he got all his marks, we thought that he could be in the Top 3. And Hilman, knowing that the standard question I would ask him EVERYDAY would be, "Have you got your position in class yet?", he would be asking his teacher the same question, "Cikgu, saya dapat nombor berapa, cikgu?", and the teacher would reply, "Tunggu lah... surprise..."

And it was indeed a pleasant surprise for us, when we went to see his teacher last Thursday, and we got to know that Hilman got No. 1, too!

Hilman's teacher told us that Hilman takes his own sweet time to finish his work. When the rest of his classmates have finished 3 pages of work, Hilman would still be working on his first page. And he's forever sharpening his pencils and/or looking for his lost stationeries in class! And he's always dreaming! Otherwise, he's a very good student. In fact, his teacher told us that she was surprised with Hilman's results, too, given his laid-back nature and attitude! (And he got highest for Science and Maths, too :))

And Ayah and I felt quite bad - for not having high expectations of Hilman, or rather, for under-estimating his capabilities. We KNOW he's one of the smarter ones at school, but we were prepared if he didn't get No. 1. But, for Hasya - because SHE wants to be No. 1, we make sure she gets the push that she needs to get it. THAT's the only way we know how to treat the two of them when it comes to pushing to the limits. THEIR limits. THEIR own expectations. Are we being unfair? Ayah and I kept on going and going about this for a few days last week. And it wasn't a nice feeling to have. Sigh...

And as for Hanna, we know from her UPSR and monthly tests results, that insya Allah, we don't really have to worry about her. And she would come back from school and tell us her results without us asking her. She would normally get second to fourth highest in class for her subjects, and given that she's in one of the better/cluster schools around, we think she's doing quite well, indeed. But, being a sanguine that she is, she would blab non-stop (in a good way) as to how close she was to beating XYZ or ABC in this subject, or that subject, and how unfair it is that they take Pengetahuan Agama Islam and Moral into account to determine their position in class (as the Moral students rata-rata dapat A, while the Agama students rata-rata dapat B, etc.), yadda, yadda, yadda...

Hanna has her own way of studying, and it seems to be working with her, and I don't want to change that. She studies with her WalkMan glued to her ears (and she would do some head-banging every now and then while studying!), and she does her homework and assignment, etc in her own time (sometimes after midnight as THAT's the ONLY time she has the mood to do them!) without having me to remind her. And I have to say, she follows her Ayah - she's very good in Maths and Science, but she's struggling a bit with her reading subjects. All in all, even though she's a sanguine, she's a responsible girl when it comes to her studies. And unlike with Hasya and Hilman, I would just monitor Hanna - without pushing, without reminding, without cautioning.

And I was pleased when I went to Hanna's Open Day yesterday, when I got to know that she got No.6! But, according to her, if Agama and Moral were not included, she would have gotten No.4! But, I just want her to realize that the girls who got Top 3 in her class are those who sat for the SAME Agama paper as her. So, I think that is not an issue here? Anyway, it's just a position in your class. Mommy and Ayah are very proud with all the A's (and couple of B's) that you got, okay? You should know which subjects you need to stress on more by now, right?

And maybe, slightly less head-banging would also do the trick? ;)

Syukur Alhamdulillah. Ayah and Mommy are VERY PROUD of you all - Hanna, Hasya and Hilman. Keep up the excellent work, darlings.

We just hope we're using the right (different) approaches to each and every one of you in pushing you all to the limits when it comes to your studies/exams, etc....

The Sequel (KL : Aug - Dec 1993)

Okay. Two intervals. Time to get this sequel to Cerita Chenta over and done with, huh? ;)

About a week after his Swensen's proposal, Ayah and I had to part ways. He had to go back to the UK to start his housemanship at the QE in Gateshead, while I had to continue with my chambering in Kampong Attap. By that time, Ayah had already discussed with his parents as to the next step which we had to take to ikut adat, i.e. merisik.

I can't remember clearly what actually transpired. The only thing I remember was that my (then "future") MIL had called my Mommy to discuss on the most suitable date for Ayah's family to pay a visit and bawak cincin tanda. And I remember my Mommy telling me to be prepared to meet Ayah's parents, uncles and aunties on one of the Saturdays in September (or was it October?!) 1993.

And when that Saturday finally came, I was numbed...I was petrified! It was scary enough meeting the parents at his place, now the whole Kac**r clan of his Pak Long, Mak Long, Pak Ngah, Mak Ngah, and not forgetting his parents, etc., were coming to meet my Abah and Mommy for the first time, and of course to see me for themselves, and Ayah was not be around! It felt like I was put under a microscope that day!

The whole time Ayah's rombongan was downstairs with my Abah and Mommy, I was upstairs in my room. I knew the whole purpose of merisik was for the bakal mertua (and segala pakcik makcik) to see the bakal menantu for themselves, but, I just couldn't bring myself to go down to see them. Macam nak pitam!! Finally, my Aunty Wah came up and knocked on my door and asked me to go down with her.

God...When I was walking down the stairs, I could feel all eyes were looking at me. Finally, I got to meet the Kac**r clan whom Ayah had talked so much about! I salamed everybody as I was introduced to each one of them, (and I guessed they were curious, too, to know who I was, how I looked like, whether I was worthy of Ayah, etc!) Ayah's Mak Long then beckoned me to come to her, and then asked my Abah and Mommy if she could sarung the cincin merisik on my finger. And just as she was slipping it onto my finger, she said, "Cincin ni tandonyo niat 'tok masok 'minang lopeih ni, den haghap di-boietau pado somoghang yang Haizal dah "booked" Shana ni nak dijaiekan isteghi..." (in her thick Nogoghi dialect!) Alamak...I dah kena "booked", you all...Hahaha!

I remember going straight into the kitchen after that with Aunty Wah to help serve the food and tea for Ayah's uncles and aunties, trying VERY hard not to let the plates clang against each other, or slip from my hands. It was so crucial for me to create a good impression on the Kac**r clan! The two parties then agreed on a date for the engagement that December.

It felt like forever before Ayah's rombongan merisik finally went back that evening! Phew...What a relief! And right on cue, Ayah called after they left to find out how it went. I guessed he was anxious, too, of the outcome of course. Mana la tau, kot-kot my Abah "reject" ke pulak last minute...Hahaha!

And then, the preparation for the December engagement ceremony began. Ayah was lucky to have his sister Ly** who was in Nottingham then to help him get all the hantaran from there (except for the kain and tudung). I think they actually spent 3 weekends to shop for the stuff in London! And I was helping my Mommy to get and prepare everything in KL. It was pretty difficult, in the sense that his Mom insisted that the colour of the material I was getting for Ayah for his hantaran Baju Melayu MUST be the exact same colour as the material she had got as hantaran kain for my Baju Kurung, etc. But, in a way, it was a blessing in disguise as I had to discuss things with her in Ayah's absence, and the pre-engagement period became the time when I got to know my MIL, and for her to get to know me better (without Ayah lurking around...Hehehe!) But, of course I couldn't help but feel VERY sad at times, going about preparing stuff, etc., for the engagement on my own, when I see other couples doing it together. And I was really missing him...

So, it would be an understatement when I say that I was SO happy when Ayah finally came back to Malaysia a week before the engagement ceremony. The most important item for the engagement had yet to be acquired - THE RING. At least Ayah was with me when we chose the ring, and that meant a lot to me.

But, it wasn't as easy as it seemed. I lost count of how many PKs, HJs, WCs, Ss shops we went to within that one week, just to find the ring that both of us agreed on. And his Mom would always be there with us, NOT to dictate which ring we should get, but as our expert haggler. She's a pro when it comes to haggling for jewelries. I never knew that one could actually go down as low as 50-80% discount from the original exhibited price of diamond rings when one haggles!! But, leaving it to the expert, Ayah and I just let Mak do all the talking whenever we found the rings which we liked. And we finally found the perfect ring at PK @ The Mall just a couple of days before the ceremony. The 5 digit numbered price was successfully haggled by Mak to become a 4 digit numbered price at the end of the day. Phew...lega! THAT shows how "terror" my MIL is when it comes to haggling maaa!Hehehe!

And the day for the engagement ceremony finally came. With 7 dulangs from Ayah's side, and 9 from my side, surrounded by families and friends, I officially became Ayah's fiancee when his Mom slipped the ring onto my ring finger on that morning of 19th December 1993...

And 3 days after that, Ayah had to fly back to the UK, leaving me yet again, in KL...

:(

To be continued...

Interval : Pics from Kuantan Trip...

We had glorious weather. The kids had fun. And so did their Mommy and Ayah!!!

And the food! Drool, people...drool...

Interval : Emerald Rawang Birthday Bash!!!

Hi there, folks. Thought I'd take a breather from continuing with the Cerita Chenta sequels for a bit, and share some pics with you guys.

Have been meaning to blog about it for a few weeks now, but the Cerita Chenta took the better of me...Hehehe...

Anyway, the Majlis Tertinggi had another gathering a few weeks back, and this time, Ibu and her Ayah played hosts at their fabulous spanking new place in Emerald Rawang. It was basically a 3-in-1 thingy : their house-warming do, their Idin's 12 b'day bash, and four of Ahli MT's 40th birthday celebration (Ayah, myself and Mr. & Mrs. Engineer).

And it was really great to be able to catch up with everyone, especially with Y*s and Bu*an, and Aw*n and Nu*q after so long!

The theme was "Everything Football", and we went in our favourite football team jerseys. We had all the perkara wajib for our normal gatherings - good food, hilarious time, karaoke session, and great company, of course :)

Back by popular demand/request was my Char Kuey Teow. Ibu had asked me not to cook too much, as there would be A LOT of food (and she was right!), so yours truly only cooked 2 kilos of Kuey Teow. Should have doubled that actually...it was all gone within 20 minute...Hehehe!

And of course, there was Ibu's speciality, too - Masak Lemak Kuning Ketam! Tak sempat nak ambik gambar, dah licin!!! I really don't know how many kilos of ketam ended up in Ibu's wok that day, and I've lost count of how many batches of the ketam dish Ibu cooked for us. I only know that it was finger-lickin' good!

Ibu organized some fun games for the kids, and the highlight of the evening was definitely the "Make-Your-Daddy-Up-As-Your-Mommy" game sempena Mother's Day. The Daddies were so sporting and they actually let all the kids have a free hand at dressing, accessorizing and making them up! Well, I guess that's what happens when you're among friends you're very comfortable being with. No qualms, no shame, no pride whatsoever! Ilek...zilch! HAHAHA!

But, of course the pics of the Daddies in all the Mommies' accessories and make-up are not for public display, but, I have made a note to self to really keep them in a safe place. Who knows, in the future I can use them to peras ugut the Daddies?! Hahaha! So, to all the MT's hubbies reading this - YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! You all better be nice to ALL the Ahli-ahli MT, comprende?

By the time we started the karaoke session, most of the kids dah bergelimpang all over the house.

And seperti biasa, majlis bersurai pada pukul 4 pagi...


Thanks everyone for the birthday presents => cool snorkelling goggles/gear from diving fanatics Iz*am and J*; ties and a lovely brooch from the prim and always proper Re*a but not necessarily so T*bs (Hahaha! Ampun!!!), and a bouquet of lovely roses and a teeny weeny Bl*sh lingerie from (romantics? xxx craze?!) Ab*d and Ra*f (HAHAHAHA!) Thanks guys... And just for the record - ALL the presents have been put to good use...(winks*! Hahaha!)


AND THANKS, Ibu and Sa*a for being such great hosts! Must do this again. Soon.

P/S : LOOOOVVVVEEE YOUR NEW ABODE, IBU!!!

Enjoy the pics!

The Sequel (KL : 1992 - 1993)

My apologies for the week hiatus. Normal excuses - work and play :). Just came back on Thursday from a 3-day break in Kuantan, where we had the sun and the sea, and yours truly had a heavenly pampering at the Sam**ra Spa at the Swi** Gar**n Resort and Spa. And while I was having their 1 hour 45 minutes Signature massage on Wednesday evening, Hanna and Hasya went for their hibiscus hair treatment.

Ayah was very generous throughout our Kuantan stay, but, I still can't figure out how the girls managed to pujuk him to let them have the hair treatment at the Spa! It wasn't cheap, but I guessed once in a while of pampering his girls with some beauty regime was okay for Ayah. THANK YOU, AYAH!!! (But, to Hanna and Hasya, if you all are reading this - tak boleh buat selalu, okay?) If not, Ayah will be fast losing his hair!

Anyway, back to the sequel ;) -

Being back in KL at the end of 1992, and knowing that it was for good and not just a 1 or 2 months break, was something else. I was so used to having Ayah either with me or just a phone-call or train ride away, and realizing that he was thousands of miles away really got some getting used to. There was no chance of him making his usual surprise visits whatsoever... I was in no mood to do anything, and was in fact more into not doing anything at all in the first month I was home.

I was getting Ayah's numbered letters and postcards regularly and he would also make his phone-calls every weekend, and my Abah and Mommy were resigned to the fact that their youngest daughter was totally smitten with this boy who was in his final year of Med School in Newcastle. My Abah was the one who would be overly excited whenever he answered Ayah's phone-calls and would ask me to hurry up and take the phone and speak to Ayah (I think my Abah takut Ayah had to pay a lot for the calls - nanti tak cukup duit nak masuk meminang kot? HAHAHAHA!) As for my Mommy, she had always been in the know about Ayah as I would share with her bits and pieces about us for quite a while then.

Anyway, Ayah had already made a few courtesy calls on his bakal mertua the previous years when both of us came back to Malaysia for our Summer breaks. So, my Abah and Mommy more or less knew who and how he was. By then, I already knew that Ayah had won the approvals of both my parents. He didn't have to try very hard. What was there not to like? (I'm being subjectively biased here. Hahahaha!). So, that was a relief - one less worry for me!

After a month of getting on my Mommy's nerves at home, I started applying for my chambering slot at a few legal firms around KL. I went for several interviews, and I finally decided to chamber under Tuan Haji (now Datuk) Mu***ib Ra**k at his firm in Kampung Attap. My nine months period of chambering was indeed a very interesting and educating experience. One thing for sure, it made it so much easier for me to decide that legal practice would NOT be a long-term option for me! But, me being me, I was doing it just to get it over and done with. I did my Bar, and chambering was the next logical thing to do.

But, I have to say, I learned the A-Z and every single nitty gritty stuff about conveyancing in just under 3 months when I was tasked to re-open all the files on some abandoned housing project somewhere in Melaka. And for that, I thank my Master for throwing me into the deep end right from Day 1. I learned the hard way, but what I learned then have stayed with me until today - even after 13 years of quitting practice. More importantly, the work took my mind off Ayah somewhat.

While I was busy with being the tea-lady/office girl/receptionist/research assistant/ filing clerk/legal clerk, etc. in Kampung Attap, Ayah was busy with his Final year at Med School. And I was really missing him. If I wasn't at home during weekends, I would lepak at Ibu's bujang pad which she shared with 2 others of our MT friends, Ab*d and On**r in Taman Tun. By that time, Ibu was already busy planning for her engagement and wedding to her Ayah, while On**r and Sh**y (a.k.a Mr. Engineer) were embarking on their early courting stage. There were also J* and Iz**m. I was happy for them of course, but, seeing all the couples around me, really made me miss Ayah even more :(

However, having two other friends who were in the same boat made it easier to go through the days. Re*a was also pining for T**s, who was still in London, and Ab*d was also longing for Ra*f who was doing his CA in Southampton. The three of us kept each other's spirits up, and we became each other's tempat mencurah perasaan...

Syukur alhamdulillah, Ayah finally graduated in July 1993, and obtained his MBBS. His whole family went for his graduation, and as much as I wanted to be there with him, it was quite impossible. I was ultra-busy with my chambering tasks, and of course - I was never formally introduced to his parents. In fact, his parents were only officially informed of my existence and of our relationship on the day Ayah graduated! They of course knew or suspected that Ayah was seeing me for quite some time then, and they were just waiting to hear it from the horse's mouth itself!

Ayah told me (and this was later confirmed by my MIL) that right after his graduation ceremony, THAT afternoon itself, he got his parents to sit down at the hotel they were staying at, and started telling them about me, and that he wanted to get married the next year, i.e. one year after he started working. And Ayah was quite surprised because both his parents and his sister just laughed when he told them of his intentions. Apparently they had been waiting for the announcement/confession for quite some time then and they were just speculating amongst themselves that Ayah would do so immediately after his graduation, and they were right! My SIL even placed a bet on this! Hahaha!

Ayah was to start his housemanship in August, i.e. barely a month after graduating, but he came back to Malaysia for a few weeks to see me. Now that his parents had been informed of his intentions, he needed to proceed to the next thing. And I remember THAT day when he took me out for tea. My Abah was quite particular about us going out at night, you see, so our dates were either for lunch or tea - when the sun was still out. Hehehe!

We were having our desserts at Swensens that afternoon, when suddenly he just looked at me, and started to take a few deep breaths. I knew he was trying to say something, but he was finding it very difficult to say it. Then he started laughing, and I started laughing! And then he said it, in between his laughs -

"Will you marry me?"

I know, I know...NOT the most romantic way to pop the question. I guess we were so used to each other, and we took it for granted that we would get married, and there was never any question about it. It was understood. So, it was somewhat awkward for Ayah to have to ask me whether I would marry him! But, Ayah being Ayah, he had to do everything the proper way, according to the normal "steps" :)

And in between my laughs, I said to him - "HAHAHAHAHA! YES!!!"

And that was it! All formalities over and done with within 10 seconds. Hehehehe!

The next step was of course - MEETING THE FUTURE IN-LAWS...

Right after "proposing", Ayah told me that he wanted to bring me to see his parents. (Nasib baiklah not there and then on the same day!).

I remember Ayah telling me that he was bringing me home to meet them, and that he would pick me up from my house at 11:30a.m that Saturday. I couldn't sleep the whole night before, and was trying to decide what baju to wear, what shoes would go well with which baju, should I bring a handbag, or not, or whether I should put on any make up or not, etc. I think I even practised my smile in front of the mirror! God...I was so nervous. It was even worse than sitting for my Bar Finals! Bila fikirkan balik...kelakar lah pulak!

And I remember getting ready very early that Saturday morning. In fact, by 10:00a.m I was already waiting anxiously for Ayah to pick me up! However, Ayah called to say that he would only be at my house around 12:30p.m, as both his parents were stuck at a meeting, and would only be home around 1:15p.m. Aaaarrrggggghhh!! Another waiting game began...By that time, I was having cold sweats and palpitations like nobody's business!

Ayah finally came at 12:30p.m, and asked my Abah and Mommy's permission to bring me to see his parents. And after getting the green light, we left the house and headed straight to PJ. Throughout the 45 minutes journey, I kept on asking Ayah, "What if your Mom doesn't like me?", "What if that...", "What if this...", etc., and Ayah kept on telling me, "Don't worry! My parents will like you. Just be yourself! My Mom is VERY nice - all my friends like her!"

And I said to Ayah, "Yeah...but, I'm not JUST one of your friends! I'm the girl who's marrying her son!"

I was so seram sejuk when we reached his house. We went in, and I was told that his mom was in the kitchen preparing lunch. I was like - "Should I go to the kitchen? Or should I just wait in the lounge?" And I was just about to go to the back of the house when his mom came out to the front. "This is it...There's no turning back", I said to myself.

I straight away went to salam her, and she invited me to go up to the Dining Hall with her, with Ayah trailing behind. (FYI, I specifically told Ayah when we were in the car that under NO circumstances was he to leave me alone with his parents, not even for ONE second - and he was really keeping to his words then! Hehehe!)

I have to admit that my first impression of Ayah's mom was that she was a VERY serious lady that rarely smiled (which was a total contrast of how she REALLY is, now that I've been her daughter-in-law for nearly 14 years!! Hehehe!) She started asking me about my family, my parents, myself, etc. over lunch - the standard future MIL Spanish Inquisitions. Years later when we talked about that first meeting, my MIL told me that she was quite nervous, too, at the prospect of meeting her first future daughter-in-law that day! Hahaha!

Ayah's father (Arwah Daddy) only came back and joined us later that afternoon. Arwah Daddy was the one who was cool about the whole thing and even threw in a couple of jokes, which helped me feel more at ease. And I was also introduced to Ayah's grandmother (Arwah Wan) who seemed to take me to her liking straight away!

The whole thing went well, but, later, on our way back to my house, I kept on asking Ayah to tell me the truth if he thought his Mom didn't like me, and if I have flunked big time with his parents. I started reflecting the afternoon and began my "I should have done this and that", "I shouldn't have done that and this" etc., much to Ayah's amusement! And he kept on reassuring me that both his Mak and Daddy approved of me. He even threw in a bonus, saying that even his Wan liked me.

Wow, you all can just imagine - after more than 9 years of knowing each other, I finally got to meet his parents (and Wan), and the meeting went well. In fact, it went VERY well indeed... :)

It felt REALLY good to finally have been officially/formally introduced to the future in-laws after all those years. And it felt even better to know that our relationship was finally officially acknowledged and approved by BOTH sets of parents after ALL those years...

And there was so much more to look forward to from that day onwards.

To be continued...