Eva is back from France!!! And I am SO HAPPY!!! Hmmm…you guys must be wondering who this Eva girl is, and why am I so happy that she’s back?! A brief introduction – Eva is my Taiwanese flat-mate, who had gone to Lyon/Paris to visit Yves (her French beau) on Thursday last week, AND she had asked me to take care of her plants while she was away.
And why exactly is it that I AM SO HAPPY now that she’s back? Well…I don’t have to take care of her plants anymore!!!
It has been quite a stressful few days for me – taking care of her plants. It’s a known fact that I can’t even take care of a cacti, let alone a proper plant which needs tender, loving, care, talking to (?!), the right temperature, not too much sun, not too little water, and God knows what else?!
I still remember when I had to take care of my sister Lala’s plants way back in 1995 when she went back to Malaysia with her family for three weeks. She left specific instructions with me on how and when to water them, how many times I need to give the plants their ‘food’, etc. And I followed her instructions to the letter, and yet, you guessed it – the plants wilted away, died and went to heaven…(Sorry, sis!)
So, you must understand how concerned I was when Eva asked me to take care of her precious plants! I kept checking the plants every ten minutes or so while they were under my care! The first thing that I would do when I woke up was check the plants. Every time I left the room and came back, I would check the plants. The last thing that I would do before I went to bed, yep, you guessed it – check the plants! Ayah was with me last week, and he was laughing away every time I asked him to check if the plants were still breathing, or whether they were in a coma, or barely having any pulse, or whether Ayah needed to perform an emergency angioplasty on them to make sure that they get enough supply of water to every part of their stems!
But, I did take the responsibility seriously, and I was praying hard that the plants would still be alive by the time Eva comes back from France. And it wasn’t helping much when I noticed that the plants were actually wilting away right under my nose, in front my own two eyes! I just didn’t get it (still don’t!) – I did EXACTLY as I was told, and yet the plants were dying on me…
So, when I heard Eva opening her room door this morning, I immediately gave the plants back to her (before the plants turned brown – which they were about to, I think!). I THINK I could just see her giving a “disbelief” look when she saw the condition of her precious plants, but I just didn’t want to discuss it with her…LOL! Well, I DID warn her about my past with plants : me…plants….we don’t go well together, and all that! And I feel so ‘free’ now that there are no plants shackled to my conscience anymore!
And Ayah, I think I agree with what you said the other day. When we move to the new house, we should either tile up the WHOLE green area around the house OR hire one Bangla gardener to tend to the garden at least once a week. And it’s not just because plants and I can never live in perfect harmony, or go hand in hand, but also because I can’t see Ayah mowing the lawn….EVER!
So, to those of you who have the same track records as mine when it comes to plants, wherever you are, just take my advice : next time somebody asks you to tend to their plants, just say “No, thank you!”. It saves you a lot of hassles, BUT more importantly, it is just not worthed getting grey hair overnight looking after the green thing…
Wassalam…
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Lost - one precious hour...
Six days - that was how long (or rather, how short) the time that I had with Ayah when he came over for a visit, here in Newcastle upon Tyne. Ayah arrived in the morning of Tuesday 20 March 2007, and he just flew back yesterday afternoon, and even though I felt that I needed to post an entry there and then - right after he boarded the 1625hr KLM flight from Newcastle International, I just could not bring myself to write anything when I realized that I was too distraught to even find the right words to describe my feelings…
I was contemplating on whether to post an entry, or rather, to post an entry WITHOUT damaging my laptop with all the tears which would be free-flowing if I were to write it. I finally decided to just hit on the keys when it felt as if my heart would burst out with all the tears withheld from the airport if I didn’t start writing. So, you can just imagine how frustrated (which was an understatement!) I felt when my laptop went dead on me when I turned it on! No matter how I did it, I could not get it restarted to run the diagnostic utility program and I felt so, so, helpless. Before I knew it, I started crying and not long after that the silent cry turned into uncontrollable sobs! “Get a grip on yourself, girl…”, I kept telling myself, but the tears were running pretty much at their own will…
“I need to write in my blog, or else I would become hysterical!”, I was saying to myself, and without much thought, I decided to take a half hour metro ride crossing River Tyne all the way to South Shields at 6.30 p.m. to seek help from a computer whiz friend to diagnose the problem with my Toshiba Portege and put it right. But, somehow, when he took a look at the laptop, he could not find anything wrong with it! His wife – who is a dear, dear friend told me, “It’s probably a sign that you need to come over and stay with us tonight.” And I think I have to agree with her – I don’t think I could stay at the flat last night… I don’t think I could stop the tears from flowing if I were to stay alone in my room…
So, to M and H, thank you so much for having me over last night…It really helped to be with you guys when I was feeling really down…I hope I’ll be okay before you guys fly back home to Malaysia this Thursday…If not, I’m sure I’ll be total nerve wreck for the next three weeks! But, be rest assured that I’m feeling much better today. Thank you again guys!
But, I have to say that I was feeling really sorry for myself yesterday when I thought how unfair it was that we had to set the clock one hour forward when the clock struck 0000hrs on Sunday 25 March 2007. I used to not think too much about this British Summer and Winter Time thingy, and I never felt that it really mattered if I were to lose or gain one hour every time we had to set the time forward or backward. But this time around I just didn’t see any need for it, especially when it caused me to lose ONE PRECIOUS hour to spend with Ayah…
But, rather than dwelling on the ONE HOUR lost, I decided to look at the bright said –
Firstly, at least Ayah and I were together for SIX AMAZING DAYS …so, what is one hour lost?
Secondly, at least we managed to have some time to relax and laze around and REALLY talk about the kids, work, us, family, etc. in those SIX DAYS - which was pretty strange (but in a nice way) since we would normally only have such conversations in between our 'transits' between home, Mak's place and our work place, or in Ayah's car during weekends while rushing to arrive early to get a parking space at One Utama!
Thirdly, at least Ayah had the chance to take the SIX-DAY break he badly needed from work when he was here – and listening to the sweet music (a.k.a his snoring!) LIVE IN REAL TIME was such a treat! LOL!
Fourthly, at least I had the chance to cook all his favourite dishes while he was here. And it felt really good to just sit down and have my meals with Ayah for those SIX DAYS, rather than having them alone in the cold, cold kitchen…
Fifthly, at least we had some FABULOUS TIME shopping for stuff for Ayah to bring home for Hanna, Hasya and Hilman (and you have to agree with me – shopping is so much fun when the Banker is there beside you, ESPECIALLY when the Banker has also been missing you terribly and would do just about anything to indulge you and all your fancies! And if I were to take Ayah’s statement of - “You can take anything you want, dear”, seriously, he would surely be declared a bankrupt by the time he goes back home! LOL!!!
And, sixthly, Ayah will be coming again for a visit in exactly two months time, Insya Allah!
So, I was trying not too think too much about the lost one hour. But, you know what? After looking at all the bright sides listed above, I still feel that it would have been really nice to ALSO just be able to spend that lost ONE hour with Ayah yesterday… Time is so, so, precious especially when we don’t have enough of it...But, of course, I am so thankful to Allah SWT to have been blessed with those wonderful 6 days with Ayah… Syukur Alhamdulillah… But, you still can’t blame me for missing him so, so, terribly right at this moment, can you?
So, to those of you whom I know may have felt ‘cheated’ at some point in your life – ‘cheated’ of time which could have been spent with your loved ones when it had been cut short, for whatever reasons, wherever you are - just be thankful that you had the time to spend with them in the first place…But, at the same time, don’t feel guilty for wishing for more time, even if it was for a mere one hour, or one minute, or even just one second… However long or short the time you had wished for, it was still time very precious when you could have spent it with the love of your life…
Wassalam…
I was contemplating on whether to post an entry, or rather, to post an entry WITHOUT damaging my laptop with all the tears which would be free-flowing if I were to write it. I finally decided to just hit on the keys when it felt as if my heart would burst out with all the tears withheld from the airport if I didn’t start writing. So, you can just imagine how frustrated (which was an understatement!) I felt when my laptop went dead on me when I turned it on! No matter how I did it, I could not get it restarted to run the diagnostic utility program and I felt so, so, helpless. Before I knew it, I started crying and not long after that the silent cry turned into uncontrollable sobs! “Get a grip on yourself, girl…”, I kept telling myself, but the tears were running pretty much at their own will…
“I need to write in my blog, or else I would become hysterical!”, I was saying to myself, and without much thought, I decided to take a half hour metro ride crossing River Tyne all the way to South Shields at 6.30 p.m. to seek help from a computer whiz friend to diagnose the problem with my Toshiba Portege and put it right. But, somehow, when he took a look at the laptop, he could not find anything wrong with it! His wife – who is a dear, dear friend told me, “It’s probably a sign that you need to come over and stay with us tonight.” And I think I have to agree with her – I don’t think I could stay at the flat last night… I don’t think I could stop the tears from flowing if I were to stay alone in my room…
So, to M and H, thank you so much for having me over last night…It really helped to be with you guys when I was feeling really down…I hope I’ll be okay before you guys fly back home to Malaysia this Thursday…If not, I’m sure I’ll be total nerve wreck for the next three weeks! But, be rest assured that I’m feeling much better today. Thank you again guys!
But, I have to say that I was feeling really sorry for myself yesterday when I thought how unfair it was that we had to set the clock one hour forward when the clock struck 0000hrs on Sunday 25 March 2007. I used to not think too much about this British Summer and Winter Time thingy, and I never felt that it really mattered if I were to lose or gain one hour every time we had to set the time forward or backward. But this time around I just didn’t see any need for it, especially when it caused me to lose ONE PRECIOUS hour to spend with Ayah…
But, rather than dwelling on the ONE HOUR lost, I decided to look at the bright said –
Firstly, at least Ayah and I were together for SIX AMAZING DAYS …so, what is one hour lost?
Secondly, at least we managed to have some time to relax and laze around and REALLY talk about the kids, work, us, family, etc. in those SIX DAYS - which was pretty strange (but in a nice way) since we would normally only have such conversations in between our 'transits' between home, Mak's place and our work place, or in Ayah's car during weekends while rushing to arrive early to get a parking space at One Utama!
Thirdly, at least Ayah had the chance to take the SIX-DAY break he badly needed from work when he was here – and listening to the sweet music (a.k.a his snoring!) LIVE IN REAL TIME was such a treat! LOL!
Fourthly, at least I had the chance to cook all his favourite dishes while he was here. And it felt really good to just sit down and have my meals with Ayah for those SIX DAYS, rather than having them alone in the cold, cold kitchen…
Fifthly, at least we had some FABULOUS TIME shopping for stuff for Ayah to bring home for Hanna, Hasya and Hilman (and you have to agree with me – shopping is so much fun when the Banker is there beside you, ESPECIALLY when the Banker has also been missing you terribly and would do just about anything to indulge you and all your fancies! And if I were to take Ayah’s statement of - “You can take anything you want, dear”, seriously, he would surely be declared a bankrupt by the time he goes back home! LOL!!!
And, sixthly, Ayah will be coming again for a visit in exactly two months time, Insya Allah!
So, I was trying not too think too much about the lost one hour. But, you know what? After looking at all the bright sides listed above, I still feel that it would have been really nice to ALSO just be able to spend that lost ONE hour with Ayah yesterday… Time is so, so, precious especially when we don’t have enough of it...But, of course, I am so thankful to Allah SWT to have been blessed with those wonderful 6 days with Ayah… Syukur Alhamdulillah… But, you still can’t blame me for missing him so, so, terribly right at this moment, can you?
So, to those of you whom I know may have felt ‘cheated’ at some point in your life – ‘cheated’ of time which could have been spent with your loved ones when it had been cut short, for whatever reasons, wherever you are - just be thankful that you had the time to spend with them in the first place…But, at the same time, don’t feel guilty for wishing for more time, even if it was for a mere one hour, or one minute, or even just one second… However long or short the time you had wished for, it was still time very precious when you could have spent it with the love of your life…
Wassalam…
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Sweet music to my ears...
Thoughts recorded on March 14, 2007...
I made a phone-call to Ayah at 3:59:55 p.m just now, which was 11:59:55 p.m back home in Malaysia. ‘Why such EXACT timing?’, you might be asking yourselves. Well, simply because I wanted to be the FIRST person to wish him “A Very Happy Birthday!” when the clock was to strike midnight there – bringing us to another new day : 15th March 2007 – my Darling Ayah’s birthday!
Ayah had quite a busy and hectic day at work today, and I could hear it in his voice. But, Ayah being Ayah, he was trying really hard not to show how tired he was. He had just come back from a dinner do thrown by a few friends to celebrate his birthday, and of course he could not say ‘No’ to that, even though he said he could barely open his eyes then! Apparently he had a full day at the angio lab and he only saw his last patient at the clinic at 9:00pm, before reviewing a few more patients at the ward after that. He then rushed home first to see how the kids were doing before leaving for the restaurant, and he only reached the place just after 10:00pm!
His friends wanted to throw the dinner for Ayah on Thursday 15th itself, but Ayah insisted that it should be on the 14th , reason being – he wanted to spend time with Hanna, Hasya and Hilman on his birthday…(Well, AFTER he finishes work, that is. Poor Ayah…he could not take any leave the whole of last week and this week because it’s the exam week at the Faculty, and all leave had been frozen!)
Ayah is planning to bring the kids out for dinner tomorrow, and he’s not sure where to bring them! If it is left for the kids to decide, it would surely either be McDonalds, or Pizza Hut, or Burger King, or Johnny’s, or Secret Recipe - the kids just LOVE their Irish Lamb Stew!!! (By the way, just to let you all know - Hilman was just about to doze off when Ayah and I were discussing which restaurant to bring the kids to, when suddenly I could hear him in the background, groggily saying, “Restaurant…? What restaurant Ayah…?”. He must have heard the magic “R” word! Hehehe)…All our kids just LOVE to eat out - NOT that my cooking is THAT bad, okay?! I can cook really mean lamb chops, mee rebus, char kuey teow, chicken rice, nasi briayani, etc., you name it – with my eyes CLOSED some more, you know?!!! LOL!!!
Anyway, we were still discussing Ayah’s night out plan with the kids when suddenly the line became VERY quiet, and not so long after that, I could actually hear the sound that I have missed so much – the sound of him snoring faintly… And tears were welling up in my eyes while I let him sleep for a full THREE minutes before I started tapping on the phone and called out his name….The sound of him snoring faintly was, I don’t know how to say this, but, it was..….so, so, reassuring…You know what I mean?
We said our goodnights, and I wished Ayah “Happy Birthday”, again, and Ayah was apologizing profusely for dozing off on me! But, please, dear…DON’T apologize…I know just how exhausted you must have been after such a long day (going into the night, too!) at work...Those THREE full minutes that you were snoring faintly? How I wished it could last forever…
The things that you miss about someone you love dearly - you will never know until you are apart through time and distance…
So, to all the wives out there, who are always complaining of how bad or how loud your husbands snore when they sleep, wherever you are…Just be thankful that you have him beside you EVERY night, at the end of a very tiring day for him…and for you…Just be thankful that you have him with you EVERY night snoring faintly, reassuringly … sweet music to your ears...in your ears…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY DEAREST, DARLING AYAH… I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH…
Yours, forever and a day…
Mommy
Wassalam...
I made a phone-call to Ayah at 3:59:55 p.m just now, which was 11:59:55 p.m back home in Malaysia. ‘Why such EXACT timing?’, you might be asking yourselves. Well, simply because I wanted to be the FIRST person to wish him “A Very Happy Birthday!” when the clock was to strike midnight there – bringing us to another new day : 15th March 2007 – my Darling Ayah’s birthday!
Ayah had quite a busy and hectic day at work today, and I could hear it in his voice. But, Ayah being Ayah, he was trying really hard not to show how tired he was. He had just come back from a dinner do thrown by a few friends to celebrate his birthday, and of course he could not say ‘No’ to that, even though he said he could barely open his eyes then! Apparently he had a full day at the angio lab and he only saw his last patient at the clinic at 9:00pm, before reviewing a few more patients at the ward after that. He then rushed home first to see how the kids were doing before leaving for the restaurant, and he only reached the place just after 10:00pm!
His friends wanted to throw the dinner for Ayah on Thursday 15th itself, but Ayah insisted that it should be on the 14th , reason being – he wanted to spend time with Hanna, Hasya and Hilman on his birthday…(Well, AFTER he finishes work, that is. Poor Ayah…he could not take any leave the whole of last week and this week because it’s the exam week at the Faculty, and all leave had been frozen!)
Ayah is planning to bring the kids out for dinner tomorrow, and he’s not sure where to bring them! If it is left for the kids to decide, it would surely either be McDonalds, or Pizza Hut, or Burger King, or Johnny’s, or Secret Recipe - the kids just LOVE their Irish Lamb Stew!!! (By the way, just to let you all know - Hilman was just about to doze off when Ayah and I were discussing which restaurant to bring the kids to, when suddenly I could hear him in the background, groggily saying, “Restaurant…? What restaurant Ayah…?”. He must have heard the magic “R” word! Hehehe)…All our kids just LOVE to eat out - NOT that my cooking is THAT bad, okay?! I can cook really mean lamb chops, mee rebus, char kuey teow, chicken rice, nasi briayani, etc., you name it – with my eyes CLOSED some more, you know?!!! LOL!!!
Anyway, we were still discussing Ayah’s night out plan with the kids when suddenly the line became VERY quiet, and not so long after that, I could actually hear the sound that I have missed so much – the sound of him snoring faintly… And tears were welling up in my eyes while I let him sleep for a full THREE minutes before I started tapping on the phone and called out his name….The sound of him snoring faintly was, I don’t know how to say this, but, it was..….so, so, reassuring…You know what I mean?
We said our goodnights, and I wished Ayah “Happy Birthday”, again, and Ayah was apologizing profusely for dozing off on me! But, please, dear…DON’T apologize…I know just how exhausted you must have been after such a long day (going into the night, too!) at work...Those THREE full minutes that you were snoring faintly? How I wished it could last forever…
The things that you miss about someone you love dearly - you will never know until you are apart through time and distance…
So, to all the wives out there, who are always complaining of how bad or how loud your husbands snore when they sleep, wherever you are…Just be thankful that you have him beside you EVERY night, at the end of a very tiring day for him…and for you…Just be thankful that you have him with you EVERY night snoring faintly, reassuringly … sweet music to your ears...in your ears…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY DEAREST, DARLING AYAH… I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH…
Yours, forever and a day…
Mommy
Wassalam...
One 'happening' mom...
Thoughts recorded on March 12, 2007...
I was in a ‘don’t- wanna-do-anything’ mood and was listening to some ‘feel-free-to-doze-off' songs yesterday morning when my YM gave a ‘bling bling’ and I saw that Hanna Suhaila had just went online.
I was in between the ‘just-let-her-chat-with-her-friends’ AND ‘I-wanna-chat-with-my-daughter’ urges, and I was deliberating on what to do for a full ten minutes, when I decided to just fuse the two urges – and I buzzed her. You know - just YM for the sake of YMing her? I was thinking – I would just chat with Hanna for about 5 minutes and then let her have her own time chatting with her friends in the remaining one hour that she had to chat on her YM for the weekend.
And Hanna was SO excited when I buzzed her!!! You wouldn’t have guessed that we had actually just spoken to each other over the phone barely two hours before that?! And Hanna being Hanna, she was just typing and sending her messages to me without waiting for me to respond to them! Frankly speaking – having a verbal/oral communication with her is MUCH more manageable! At least I could always stop her mid-sentence….Try doing THAT via a YM!! My replies/responds to her messages were so outdated by TEN sent messages, at least!
Anyway, after about five minutes chatting with her, me - being a sporting Mom that I was/am (wink wink!), I decided to let her spend the final one hour of chatting time allowed with her friends. I was scheduled to call home and speak to her and her adek-adek later that night anyway…
But, what happened next brought tears to my eyes - when Hanna sent a YM, “Mommy, PLEASE!!! I CAN still continue YM with you, you know?….PLEASE DON’T SIGN OFF! I still want to chat with you! You know what? You are the one of the few Moms whom I know chat with their kids! You are one ‘happening’ Mom!"
I remember to have JOKED with Hanna a few times before this, saying that she was lucky to have me as her Mom, as I was one really ‘happening’ Mom... But coming from her yesterday, in her OWN YM words…I was REALLY touched…Something like that – coming from your eleven year old (going on 17) daughter is to be taken as a pretty nice and huge compliment… I should say…
But, then again – I should also tell her that the only reason why I was the only Mom chatting with her kids (amongst her friends) was because the other Moms didn’t have the need to do so, reason being: their kids live under the same roof as them AND why would they want to YM each other when they could just SCREAM each other’s heads FACE-TO-FACE in the comfort of their own homes?!!! LOL!!!
But, still…it felt REALLY good being one ‘happening’ mom to your daughter…
So, to all Mothers out there, with so many things happening in your lives out there, wherever you are…Maybe you could just find out what exactly it is that would make your kids see you as one really ‘happening’ Mom? And try doing it. It could be something really out of this world (like going bungee-jumping somewhere?!!!), or it could be something REALLY simple - maybe by just being yourself? Because you’ll never know – you may ALREADY be one ‘happening’ Mom …just that your kids don’t say that to you…(?) But, Mothers being Mothers…we would know, eh?
Wassalam…
I was in a ‘don’t- wanna-do-anything’ mood and was listening to some ‘feel-free-to-doze-off' songs yesterday morning when my YM gave a ‘bling bling’ and I saw that Hanna Suhaila had just went online.
I was in between the ‘just-let-her-chat-with-her-friends’ AND ‘I-wanna-chat-with-my-daughter’ urges, and I was deliberating on what to do for a full ten minutes, when I decided to just fuse the two urges – and I buzzed her. You know - just YM for the sake of YMing her? I was thinking – I would just chat with Hanna for about 5 minutes and then let her have her own time chatting with her friends in the remaining one hour that she had to chat on her YM for the weekend.
And Hanna was SO excited when I buzzed her!!! You wouldn’t have guessed that we had actually just spoken to each other over the phone barely two hours before that?! And Hanna being Hanna, she was just typing and sending her messages to me without waiting for me to respond to them! Frankly speaking – having a verbal/oral communication with her is MUCH more manageable! At least I could always stop her mid-sentence….Try doing THAT via a YM!! My replies/responds to her messages were so outdated by TEN sent messages, at least!
Anyway, after about five minutes chatting with her, me - being a sporting Mom that I was/am (wink wink!), I decided to let her spend the final one hour of chatting time allowed with her friends. I was scheduled to call home and speak to her and her adek-adek later that night anyway…
But, what happened next brought tears to my eyes - when Hanna sent a YM, “Mommy, PLEASE!!! I CAN still continue YM with you, you know?….PLEASE DON’T SIGN OFF! I still want to chat with you! You know what? You are the one of the few Moms whom I know chat with their kids! You are one ‘happening’ Mom!"
I remember to have JOKED with Hanna a few times before this, saying that she was lucky to have me as her Mom, as I was one really ‘happening’ Mom... But coming from her yesterday, in her OWN YM words…I was REALLY touched…Something like that – coming from your eleven year old (going on 17) daughter is to be taken as a pretty nice and huge compliment… I should say…
But, then again – I should also tell her that the only reason why I was the only Mom chatting with her kids (amongst her friends) was because the other Moms didn’t have the need to do so, reason being: their kids live under the same roof as them AND why would they want to YM each other when they could just SCREAM each other’s heads FACE-TO-FACE in the comfort of their own homes?!!! LOL!!!
But, still…it felt REALLY good being one ‘happening’ mom to your daughter…
So, to all Mothers out there, with so many things happening in your lives out there, wherever you are…Maybe you could just find out what exactly it is that would make your kids see you as one really ‘happening’ Mom? And try doing it. It could be something really out of this world (like going bungee-jumping somewhere?!!!), or it could be something REALLY simple - maybe by just being yourself? Because you’ll never know – you may ALREADY be one ‘happening’ Mom …just that your kids don’t say that to you…(?) But, Mothers being Mothers…we would know, eh?
Wassalam…
Butterflies, eagles and ducks...
Thoughts recorded on March 08, 2007...
I was tweaking one of my chapters just now when my handphone gave a beep. It was an SMS from Ayah's number, and as always (except when Ayah SMSs me while I'm sleeping in the wee hours of the morning, that is) I opened it immediately, and was pleasantly surprised to find that the SMS was actually from Hasya Sofea.
"Hi, Mommy. This is Hasya. Guess what!!!!!!! I got 100 for English!!!!!Yyyaaayyy!!! I love you I miss you. MMMUUUUAAAHHHH!!!"
She must have SMSd it immediately after reaching home from school - even before she had time to put her bags away, or before taking her shower, as it was 7:15pm - the time she would normally reach home on a Thursday.
I immediately called Ayah's handphone and Hasya answered it - I think she was just waiting for the phone to ring, in anticipation of me calling immediately after receiving her SMS.
"Hello sayang!!! I got your SMS!!! You got 100 for English!!! I am SO proud of you...I am SO happy for you! You are such a clever girl!!!", I was beaming with pride - and I was thinking , "If only she could see the big smile I had on my face...she would know HOW proud I was/am of her..."
Hasya was giggling away - I can just imagine her sweet and cheeky smile at that time!
"So, how do you feel about getting a 100 for your English?", I asked her.
"Very happy", she said - I could actually hear her big smile in there.
"Hmmm...Hasya, It IS a nice feeling right? Feeling happy when you get 100%?", I asked her.
"Yes!", she screamed - and I could still hear her big smile in that scream!
"So, Hasya, do you think you want to have this feeling of "happiness" all the time?", I asked her.
"Uh-uh", she said, "It's a nice feeling, Mommy! That means I have to get 100% all the time to be happy like this!", she answered - even before I could pose another leading question to her...
"That's right, sayang...100% for all your subjects, okay?", my "kiasu" vibes getting in there (?!).
"Do you think you can get 100% everytime? Do you think you can get 100% for your Science?",
I asked her - that was the only paper she has not got her results for yet.
"Yes! Mommy...", she said confidently.
But then she said, "BUT, Mommy...There was this ONE question which was very hard, laa Mommy...Hasya tak sure of the answer...", she said rather frustratingly.
"Oooo...Okay. What was the question, dear?", I asked.
"Which of these animals lay many eggs? Butterflies, eagles or ducks?", she said/asked.
And I thought to myself - was that a TRICK question, or what?!
And I asked her, "Are you sure it did not ask you which of those animals lay MOST eggs, sayang?"
"NOPE! It was "MANY", NOT "MOST"", she said matter-of-factly.
Hmmmm...I said to myself..."So, which answer did you choose, dear?" I asked.
"Ducks", she said curtly.
"And why is that?", I was curious to know why she chose that answer.
"I don't know..." came the reply.
Hmmm...the only reason I could think of why she chose that answer was because she had seen so many times on TV - the cartoons, "The Ugly Duckling", etc that the ducklings would waddle together in a straight line - all five and six of them in a row, and THAT stuck to her mind? And she had NEVER seen eagles flying in a flock? And she had NEVER seen butterflies flying in a flight?!
"Hmmmm....Hasya, I think your teacher must have phrased the question wrongly. I think the question should be - "Which of these animals lay the MOST eggs, NOT many," I said to her.
"That's why la Mommy...I was confused when I read that question," she said - trying to explain herself to me IF the paper were to come back and she were to get the question wrong.
"It's okay, Hasya - You answered the question correctly. Don't worry about it - in fact ALL your friends answered it correctly, okay?", I told her. "IF your teacher marks it as "WRONG", I want you to tell him that IT IS NOT WRONG, okay?" I said to her.
"Okay," she said, before continuing, "because all those animals lay many eggs what?!!". I can just hear her smile again there...
"Yes, Hasya - ALL those animals lay many eggs..."
"Okay, Hasya...You'd better go and mandi and all, okay? It's nearly Maghrib. But, can I speak to Ayah first, please?", I said to her.
"Okay, Mommy...I Love you...I Miss you...Mmmmmuuuuuaaaahhhh!"
"I Love You...I Miss You, too, sayang! Bye!"
So, Ayah and Mommy made a plan/deal :
We will wait for Hasya to get the results for the Science Paper first, and see if she is marked "wrong" for that answer.
IF, she is marked "wrong", we will ask her to defend her answer - which we think she can do pretty well at!
BUT, IF, the teacher insisted that her answer is STILL wrong, then AYAH will go and give the teacher one round of "how-not-to-confuse-smart-kids-like-Hasya-by-not phrasing-your-questions-correctly" - RIGHT.... ON.... HIS.... FACE!
KIASU?!!! YOU BET!!!
So, to all parents out there with kids who actually got the RIGHT answers, simply because they were CONFUSED, wherever you are... Just remember - it is NOT always a bad thing....It might be that their teachers are the ones who ARE confused...AND if THAT is the case, you can always call and speak to Ayah on how to deal with those teachers...Wink...wink...
Wassalam...
I was tweaking one of my chapters just now when my handphone gave a beep. It was an SMS from Ayah's number, and as always (except when Ayah SMSs me while I'm sleeping in the wee hours of the morning, that is) I opened it immediately, and was pleasantly surprised to find that the SMS was actually from Hasya Sofea.
"Hi, Mommy. This is Hasya. Guess what!!!!!!! I got 100 for English!!!!!Yyyaaayyy!!! I love you I miss you. MMMUUUUAAAHHHH!!!"
She must have SMSd it immediately after reaching home from school - even before she had time to put her bags away, or before taking her shower, as it was 7:15pm - the time she would normally reach home on a Thursday.
I immediately called Ayah's handphone and Hasya answered it - I think she was just waiting for the phone to ring, in anticipation of me calling immediately after receiving her SMS.
"Hello sayang!!! I got your SMS!!! You got 100 for English!!! I am SO proud of you...I am SO happy for you! You are such a clever girl!!!", I was beaming with pride - and I was thinking , "If only she could see the big smile I had on my face...she would know HOW proud I was/am of her..."
Hasya was giggling away - I can just imagine her sweet and cheeky smile at that time!
"So, how do you feel about getting a 100 for your English?", I asked her.
"Very happy", she said - I could actually hear her big smile in there.
"Hmmm...Hasya, It IS a nice feeling right? Feeling happy when you get 100%?", I asked her.
"Yes!", she screamed - and I could still hear her big smile in that scream!
"So, Hasya, do you think you want to have this feeling of "happiness" all the time?", I asked her.
"Uh-uh", she said, "It's a nice feeling, Mommy! That means I have to get 100% all the time to be happy like this!", she answered - even before I could pose another leading question to her...
"That's right, sayang...100% for all your subjects, okay?", my "kiasu" vibes getting in there (?!).
"Do you think you can get 100% everytime? Do you think you can get 100% for your Science?",
I asked her - that was the only paper she has not got her results for yet.
"Yes! Mommy...", she said confidently.
But then she said, "BUT, Mommy...There was this ONE question which was very hard, laa Mommy...Hasya tak sure of the answer...", she said rather frustratingly.
"Oooo...Okay. What was the question, dear?", I asked.
"Which of these animals lay many eggs? Butterflies, eagles or ducks?", she said/asked.
And I thought to myself - was that a TRICK question, or what?!
And I asked her, "Are you sure it did not ask you which of those animals lay MOST eggs, sayang?"
"NOPE! It was "MANY", NOT "MOST"", she said matter-of-factly.
Hmmmm...I said to myself..."So, which answer did you choose, dear?" I asked.
"Ducks", she said curtly.
"And why is that?", I was curious to know why she chose that answer.
"I don't know..." came the reply.
Hmmm...the only reason I could think of why she chose that answer was because she had seen so many times on TV - the cartoons, "The Ugly Duckling", etc that the ducklings would waddle together in a straight line - all five and six of them in a row, and THAT stuck to her mind? And she had NEVER seen eagles flying in a flock? And she had NEVER seen butterflies flying in a flight?!
"Hmmmm....Hasya, I think your teacher must have phrased the question wrongly. I think the question should be - "Which of these animals lay the MOST eggs, NOT many," I said to her.
"That's why la Mommy...I was confused when I read that question," she said - trying to explain herself to me IF the paper were to come back and she were to get the question wrong.
"It's okay, Hasya - You answered the question correctly. Don't worry about it - in fact ALL your friends answered it correctly, okay?", I told her. "IF your teacher marks it as "WRONG", I want you to tell him that IT IS NOT WRONG, okay?" I said to her.
"Okay," she said, before continuing, "because all those animals lay many eggs what?!!". I can just hear her smile again there...
"Yes, Hasya - ALL those animals lay many eggs..."
"Okay, Hasya...You'd better go and mandi and all, okay? It's nearly Maghrib. But, can I speak to Ayah first, please?", I said to her.
"Okay, Mommy...I Love you...I Miss you...Mmmmmuuuuuaaaahhhh!"
"I Love You...I Miss You, too, sayang! Bye!"
So, Ayah and Mommy made a plan/deal :
We will wait for Hasya to get the results for the Science Paper first, and see if she is marked "wrong" for that answer.
IF, she is marked "wrong", we will ask her to defend her answer - which we think she can do pretty well at!
BUT, IF, the teacher insisted that her answer is STILL wrong, then AYAH will go and give the teacher one round of "how-not-to-confuse-smart-kids-like-Hasya-by-not phrasing-your-questions-correctly" - RIGHT.... ON.... HIS.... FACE!
KIASU?!!! YOU BET!!!
So, to all parents out there with kids who actually got the RIGHT answers, simply because they were CONFUSED, wherever you are... Just remember - it is NOT always a bad thing....It might be that their teachers are the ones who ARE confused...AND if THAT is the case, you can always call and speak to Ayah on how to deal with those teachers...Wink...wink...
Wassalam...
The Wedding Planner...
Thoughts recorded on March 07, 2007...
Hanna Suhaila was so excited when we spoke over the phone last night. "Mommy, Mommy!! Guess what?!", she asked. I was so used to her sanguin-ness that I did not really expect anything out-of-the-ordinary, because to a sanguine child like my Hanna, EVERYTHING is exciting. "Yes, Hanna...what is it that you want to tell Mommy, dear?", I asked.
"Hanna dah 'khatam' Al-Quran!!!!", she literally screamed!
I was smiling ear-to-ear when I heard her scream, because :
Firstly (of course), I was (and am) SO proud of her....Especially, because this is her second time to "khatam" The Al-Quran.
Secondly , I wasn't sure if it was the fact that she had khatam for the second time OR the fact that she didn't have to sit for "mengaji" session anymore after this(?!) that really made her day yesterday (?!)
But, a deal is a deal - and I have to stick to it, even though it would be nice if she could khatam for the third time (?).
I promised Hanna that she only needed to repeat the whole Al-Quran one more time before she could stop attending the 'mengaji' session... So, I'm keeping to my end of the bargain.
So, Hanna - it IS official : Last night was your LAST mengaji session with Ustadz Hadi. BUT, BUT, BUT!!!! That does not mean that you do not need to read The Al-Quran again after this, okay? Promise??!! You can always join the session every now and then when you feel like it, okay? (THAT was wishful thinking - on my part...Hehehe...)
Anyway, then I asked her, "Do you want Mommy and Ayah to hold a small khenduri to celebrate the occassion or not?"
And somehow, the reply that came was not so convincing? It was like...."Hmmmm, no need la Mommy...tak payah lah..." Which I found quite out of character for my sanguine child. I was expecting like - "YESSSSS!!!! Can I invite ALL my friends over for the khenduri, and can they come for a sleep-over after that, and can you and Ayah bring us to see a movie the next day, etc., etc.,?? Can I? Can I? Can I?", that sort of thing.
So, I asked her - "Why Hanna tak nak Khenduri?", and then she started giggling, and said "No need lah Mommy...(giggle giggle giggle)". And then I said, "Okay then, we will have your khatam khenduri when you get married nanti, okay?" And, somehow, I actually MEANT it (?) It was not like it was meant as a joke or anything (?), you know what I'm trying to say here? At THAT moment, it just occured to me that her wedding day is NOT that long to go? (Insya Allah...).
And of course, what came next was a typical Hanna reaction -
"AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! MOOMMMMMMYYY!!!!! THAT'S WHAATTT????? ANOTHER TWENTY YEARS or something?!!! That's SOOOOOOOOO loooonnnnggg!!!! I will only get married when I'm twenty-something what?!!!
Hmmmm...you got the sum all wrong, dear. It will NOT be another twenty years. If you are ELEVEN + years old now, and if you are getting married when you are twenty something, say TWENTY SIX (?), that's another FIFTEEN years, my dear....FIFTEEN years is NOT that long to go, okay? I can STILL VIVIDLY remember what happened FIFTEEN years ago, like it was just yesterday. 1992 - the year I did my Bar....(I guess because I still have nightmares about it until now? LOL!!!)
Anyway, you know what? The melancholic part of me, was already thinking about Hanna's Wedding Day last night?! And then, of course, a few years down the line - Hasya's and Hilman's?!
I was like - Oh my God...how many canopies can fit in our compund nanti?; I think I know who's going to be the official photographer (I have been looking at his Fotopages on a REGULAR basis before this, by the way!); what would be the theme of the wedding?; when will the "khatam" khenduri be held?; what kind of a wedding is it going to be ? (the "Garden" thingy will probably be SO-NOT-THE-IN-THING anymore by then, I'm sure); the wedding dress?!! Hmmmm...how many of those does she need?! And oh yes...the bunga telur? And the bunga pahar? Can I letak RM444,444/= for the wang hantaran, or not? Or RM888,888/= taking into account of inflation, and all? Aiihhhh...
Whatever it is, my daughters' wedding will definitely NOT be like the wedding of the one Datuk Whom-We-Shall-Not-Name here... SO...OVER-the-top, SO... NOT my style...(?) (What I'm trying to say actually is : "Where got people to SPONSOR one??!") LOL!!!
I'm a pretty weird Mom, huh? Well, like they say, better start early. Because it is ALWAYS the MOTHER of the bride who will have to do everything for the Grand Wedding. Never, and I repeat - NEVER expect the FATHER of the bride to chip in his "khudrat". But, it's okay - as long as he can chip in the RM! Loads of RM!!! (So, Ayah, better start your triple shift from now!!! LOL!!!); AND, it is ALWAYS the mother of the bride who will end up like a "kain buruk" after the khenduri...And I'm not allowing myself to be that - the "kain buruk", I mean... So, planning way, way, ahead of time IS CRUCIAL. Fullstop.
Can you believe that? I was actually thinking about ALL that last night? BUT, FIFTEEN years is not long to go, you know?
So, to all Mothers out there who have children (especially daughters) of the marrying ages, (that means between 11 to 99(?!), by the way) wherever you are... You'd better start making your guests list now. I have started mine - and I'm now at guest number 37, by the way...
All the best for the Grand Wedding, my friends...
Wassalam...
P/S : And Hanna...your friends sleep-over thing? If you decide to have the khatam khenduri soon - maybe we can have them over. BUT, if your khatam khenduri is on your wedding day...I think DEFINITELY not...
Hanna Suhaila was so excited when we spoke over the phone last night. "Mommy, Mommy!! Guess what?!", she asked. I was so used to her sanguin-ness that I did not really expect anything out-of-the-ordinary, because to a sanguine child like my Hanna, EVERYTHING is exciting. "Yes, Hanna...what is it that you want to tell Mommy, dear?", I asked.
"Hanna dah 'khatam' Al-Quran!!!!", she literally screamed!
I was smiling ear-to-ear when I heard her scream, because :
Firstly (of course), I was (and am) SO proud of her....Especially, because this is her second time to "khatam" The Al-Quran.
Secondly , I wasn't sure if it was the fact that she had khatam for the second time OR the fact that she didn't have to sit for "mengaji" session anymore after this(?!) that really made her day yesterday (?!)
But, a deal is a deal - and I have to stick to it, even though it would be nice if she could khatam for the third time (?).
I promised Hanna that she only needed to repeat the whole Al-Quran one more time before she could stop attending the 'mengaji' session... So, I'm keeping to my end of the bargain.
So, Hanna - it IS official : Last night was your LAST mengaji session with Ustadz Hadi. BUT, BUT, BUT!!!! That does not mean that you do not need to read The Al-Quran again after this, okay? Promise??!! You can always join the session every now and then when you feel like it, okay? (THAT was wishful thinking - on my part...Hehehe...)
Anyway, then I asked her, "Do you want Mommy and Ayah to hold a small khenduri to celebrate the occassion or not?"
And somehow, the reply that came was not so convincing? It was like...."Hmmmm, no need la Mommy...tak payah lah..." Which I found quite out of character for my sanguine child. I was expecting like - "YESSSSS!!!! Can I invite ALL my friends over for the khenduri, and can they come for a sleep-over after that, and can you and Ayah bring us to see a movie the next day, etc., etc.,?? Can I? Can I? Can I?", that sort of thing.
So, I asked her - "Why Hanna tak nak Khenduri?", and then she started giggling, and said "No need lah Mommy...(giggle giggle giggle)". And then I said, "Okay then, we will have your khatam khenduri when you get married nanti, okay?" And, somehow, I actually MEANT it (?) It was not like it was meant as a joke or anything (?), you know what I'm trying to say here? At THAT moment, it just occured to me that her wedding day is NOT that long to go? (Insya Allah...).
And of course, what came next was a typical Hanna reaction -
"AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! MOOMMMMMMYYY!!!!! THAT'S WHAATTT????? ANOTHER TWENTY YEARS or something?!!! That's SOOOOOOOOO loooonnnnggg!!!! I will only get married when I'm twenty-something what?!!!
Hmmmm...you got the sum all wrong, dear. It will NOT be another twenty years. If you are ELEVEN + years old now, and if you are getting married when you are twenty something, say TWENTY SIX (?), that's another FIFTEEN years, my dear....FIFTEEN years is NOT that long to go, okay? I can STILL VIVIDLY remember what happened FIFTEEN years ago, like it was just yesterday. 1992 - the year I did my Bar....(I guess because I still have nightmares about it until now? LOL!!!)
Anyway, you know what? The melancholic part of me, was already thinking about Hanna's Wedding Day last night?! And then, of course, a few years down the line - Hasya's and Hilman's?!
I was like - Oh my God...how many canopies can fit in our compund nanti?; I think I know who's going to be the official photographer (I have been looking at his Fotopages on a REGULAR basis before this, by the way!); what would be the theme of the wedding?; when will the "khatam" khenduri be held?; what kind of a wedding is it going to be ? (the "Garden" thingy will probably be SO-NOT-THE-IN-THING anymore by then, I'm sure); the wedding dress?!! Hmmmm...how many of those does she need?! And oh yes...the bunga telur? And the bunga pahar? Can I letak RM444,444/= for the wang hantaran, or not? Or RM888,888/= taking into account of inflation, and all? Aiihhhh...
Whatever it is, my daughters' wedding will definitely NOT be like the wedding of the one Datuk Whom-We-Shall-Not-Name here... SO...OVER-the-top, SO... NOT my style...(?) (What I'm trying to say actually is : "Where got people to SPONSOR one??!") LOL!!!
I'm a pretty weird Mom, huh? Well, like they say, better start early. Because it is ALWAYS the MOTHER of the bride who will have to do everything for the Grand Wedding. Never, and I repeat - NEVER expect the FATHER of the bride to chip in his "khudrat". But, it's okay - as long as he can chip in the RM! Loads of RM!!! (So, Ayah, better start your triple shift from now!!! LOL!!!); AND, it is ALWAYS the mother of the bride who will end up like a "kain buruk" after the khenduri...And I'm not allowing myself to be that - the "kain buruk", I mean... So, planning way, way, ahead of time IS CRUCIAL. Fullstop.
Can you believe that? I was actually thinking about ALL that last night? BUT, FIFTEEN years is not long to go, you know?
So, to all Mothers out there who have children (especially daughters) of the marrying ages, (that means between 11 to 99(?!), by the way) wherever you are... You'd better start making your guests list now. I have started mine - and I'm now at guest number 37, by the way...
All the best for the Grand Wedding, my friends...
Wassalam...
P/S : And Hanna...your friends sleep-over thing? If you decide to have the khatam khenduri soon - maybe we can have them over. BUT, if your khatam khenduri is on your wedding day...I think DEFINITELY not...
The 'not so final' countdown...
Thoughts recorded on March 06, 2007
Ayah was having his lunch (at 4:15pm?!) when I called him just now. Apparently he had just finished a four and a half hour angio procedure and was just grabbing some pizzas before continuing with the next one. He was munching away while we talked as he needed to get back to the lab, like - THEN?! (Ayah, I hope you will jaga your makan-minum while I'm not there!)
Anyway, Ayah managed to tell me that Hilman called him just now, and that got him worried because Hilman would ONLY call Ayah if there was an emergency - like yesterday when he locked himself out of his room, and could not prepare himself for school as all his uniform and school stuff were in the room, and he called Ayah - who had to leave the hospital and go back home to open the door for him...
But, what came next, brought a lump to Ayah's throat : Hilman asked - "Ayah...how many days more is Mommy coming back...?"
Ayah had to check the calendar, and told him - "99 more days lagi, Hilman..."
"Okay...thanks, Ayah. Bye", Hilman replied.
"Is that all, Hilman?", Ayah asked.
"Uh-uh", Hilman answered, and put down the phone...
"He must be really missing you now, Mommy...", Ayah said to me.
Well, my dearest, I really miss all of you so very much, too...
You see, Hilman and I would always do a countdown of the days I would be back EVERYTIME I was away before this, and everytime we spoke to each other on the phone, I would ask him - "Hilman, how many more days is Mommy coming home?", and he would excitedly shout out the exact, correct number of days everytime!
But, this time around I decided not to do the countdown with Hilman because the number of days we would be apart this time would be just, too agonisingly, into the hundreds... and I didn't want to put him through the agony of waiting....Just let Mommy go through it for you, okay sayang? We can start the countdown at "40", maybe?
But, I bet - tonight when I call and speak to him, he will already, and excitedly start the countdown... It's okay, I guess - as it is worthed doing the countdown for when you REALLY long for something....or someone...
So, to all of you out there who are doing your own countdowns, and waiting agonizingly for something to happen - whatever it may be, wherever you are... just make sure that it IS something that is worthed waiting for... and worthed doing the countdown for...
Wassalam...
Ayah was having his lunch (at 4:15pm?!) when I called him just now. Apparently he had just finished a four and a half hour angio procedure and was just grabbing some pizzas before continuing with the next one. He was munching away while we talked as he needed to get back to the lab, like - THEN?! (Ayah, I hope you will jaga your makan-minum while I'm not there!)
Anyway, Ayah managed to tell me that Hilman called him just now, and that got him worried because Hilman would ONLY call Ayah if there was an emergency - like yesterday when he locked himself out of his room, and could not prepare himself for school as all his uniform and school stuff were in the room, and he called Ayah - who had to leave the hospital and go back home to open the door for him...
But, what came next, brought a lump to Ayah's throat : Hilman asked - "Ayah...how many days more is Mommy coming back...?"
Ayah had to check the calendar, and told him - "99 more days lagi, Hilman..."
"Okay...thanks, Ayah. Bye", Hilman replied.
"Is that all, Hilman?", Ayah asked.
"Uh-uh", Hilman answered, and put down the phone...
"He must be really missing you now, Mommy...", Ayah said to me.
Well, my dearest, I really miss all of you so very much, too...
You see, Hilman and I would always do a countdown of the days I would be back EVERYTIME I was away before this, and everytime we spoke to each other on the phone, I would ask him - "Hilman, how many more days is Mommy coming home?", and he would excitedly shout out the exact, correct number of days everytime!
But, this time around I decided not to do the countdown with Hilman because the number of days we would be apart this time would be just, too agonisingly, into the hundreds... and I didn't want to put him through the agony of waiting....Just let Mommy go through it for you, okay sayang? We can start the countdown at "40", maybe?
But, I bet - tonight when I call and speak to him, he will already, and excitedly start the countdown... It's okay, I guess - as it is worthed doing the countdown for when you REALLY long for something....or someone...
So, to all of you out there who are doing your own countdowns, and waiting agonizingly for something to happen - whatever it may be, wherever you are... just make sure that it IS something that is worthed waiting for... and worthed doing the countdown for...
Wassalam...
Of plastic beakers and Curry Maggi...
Thoughts recorded on March 06, 2007...
I was just having a drink of water which I poured out of the plastic beaker in my room this afternoon, when I noticed that the water actually had the smell and an after taste of Curry Maggi (?!). And I said to myself - "Hmmmmm...how did that come about?!"
Then I remembered - it was at 3:00a.m two nights ago, when I was working on my chapters, when I felt so hungry suddenly, but I was just too scared to go out of my room to go to the kitchen to cook a proper meal. The only thing I had in my room were some Curry Maggi, my kettle, and my plastic beaker. Hmmmm....no choice, but to soak the Maggi in boiling water, in my plastic beaker. (Neither did I have any spoon with me! So...you guessed it right - I was slurping the Maggi straight from the beaker!!!) Eeeeeewwwww!LOL!!!
(Hanna, Hasya, Hilman - ONLY do this in dire emergencies, okay?!!!)
Anyway, I thought I had washed the beaker properly the first time around, by putting a triple dose of dishwashing liquid to it. I even soaked it in hot water for half an hour before rinsing it, and filling it with drinking water again. I guessed that was not enough...
So, what I did this afternoon was I soaked the plastic beaker in hot water with another triple dose of washing liquid, a few drops of my Woman Davidoff Cool Water, a few drops of my shampoo, a few drops of my handwashing liquid, and some washing detergent -(You guys must be thinking - crazy woman...) Anyway, crazy as it may seem - it actually worked! And, at this very moment, I am enjoying a mug of plain water, minus the smell and the after-taste of Curry Maggi! Well, there's probably still a litle bit of smell there BUT the water tastes so much better now...(I will probably soak the plastic beaker with my shower gel tomorrow, because that was the only thing that did not get its way into the pot pourri of stuff this afternoon...)
What I'm trying to say is - (in case you are thinking to yourself right at this moment - "Hmmmm, I think this woman has lost her marbles...) - The plastic beaker is just like your life, AND the Curry Maggi is just like the bad experiences that you may have had in the past - be it lost love, failures, betrayal of trust... I don't know.. Bad experiences that you felt like it was the end of the world for you?
Well, guess what? It was NOT the end of the world, because if it was, I would not be writing this, and YOU would not be reading this...
What I'm really trying to say is - Life has to go on...
It does not matter if the Curry Maggi was taken voluntarily OR somebody forced you to take it in your plastic beaker. What's important is - how do you make sure that the smell and the after-taste of the Curry Maggi disappear...
You can just leave the beaker unwashed. You can just use a single dose of your dishwashing liquid. OR, just like how I washed my plastic beaker - you put some extra efforts, and some fragrances that you could find to it, and Insya Allah, the smell will go away...It may still linger, BUT, in time it will definitely go away...
It's YOUR choice...At the end of the day, YOU are the one who is going to drink the water from YOUR plastic beaker...
So, to those who are having Curry Maggi in a plastic beaker tonight - whether voluntarily or by force, wherever you are....just be sure to wash the plastic beaker straight away. And just put some extra efforts and some extra fragrances to it, while you are at it...
All the best, guys...
Wassalam....
I was just having a drink of water which I poured out of the plastic beaker in my room this afternoon, when I noticed that the water actually had the smell and an after taste of Curry Maggi (?!). And I said to myself - "Hmmmmm...how did that come about?!"
Then I remembered - it was at 3:00a.m two nights ago, when I was working on my chapters, when I felt so hungry suddenly, but I was just too scared to go out of my room to go to the kitchen to cook a proper meal. The only thing I had in my room were some Curry Maggi, my kettle, and my plastic beaker. Hmmmm....no choice, but to soak the Maggi in boiling water, in my plastic beaker. (Neither did I have any spoon with me! So...you guessed it right - I was slurping the Maggi straight from the beaker!!!) Eeeeeewwwww!LOL!!!
(Hanna, Hasya, Hilman - ONLY do this in dire emergencies, okay?!!!)
Anyway, I thought I had washed the beaker properly the first time around, by putting a triple dose of dishwashing liquid to it. I even soaked it in hot water for half an hour before rinsing it, and filling it with drinking water again. I guessed that was not enough...
So, what I did this afternoon was I soaked the plastic beaker in hot water with another triple dose of washing liquid, a few drops of my Woman Davidoff Cool Water, a few drops of my shampoo, a few drops of my handwashing liquid, and some washing detergent -(You guys must be thinking - crazy woman...) Anyway, crazy as it may seem - it actually worked! And, at this very moment, I am enjoying a mug of plain water, minus the smell and the after-taste of Curry Maggi! Well, there's probably still a litle bit of smell there BUT the water tastes so much better now...(I will probably soak the plastic beaker with my shower gel tomorrow, because that was the only thing that did not get its way into the pot pourri of stuff this afternoon...)
What I'm trying to say is - (in case you are thinking to yourself right at this moment - "Hmmmm, I think this woman has lost her marbles...) - The plastic beaker is just like your life, AND the Curry Maggi is just like the bad experiences that you may have had in the past - be it lost love, failures, betrayal of trust... I don't know.. Bad experiences that you felt like it was the end of the world for you?
Well, guess what? It was NOT the end of the world, because if it was, I would not be writing this, and YOU would not be reading this...
What I'm really trying to say is - Life has to go on...
It does not matter if the Curry Maggi was taken voluntarily OR somebody forced you to take it in your plastic beaker. What's important is - how do you make sure that the smell and the after-taste of the Curry Maggi disappear...
You can just leave the beaker unwashed. You can just use a single dose of your dishwashing liquid. OR, just like how I washed my plastic beaker - you put some extra efforts, and some fragrances that you could find to it, and Insya Allah, the smell will go away...It may still linger, BUT, in time it will definitely go away...
It's YOUR choice...At the end of the day, YOU are the one who is going to drink the water from YOUR plastic beaker...
So, to those who are having Curry Maggi in a plastic beaker tonight - whether voluntarily or by force, wherever you are....just be sure to wash the plastic beaker straight away. And just put some extra efforts and some extra fragrances to it, while you are at it...
All the best, guys...
Wassalam....
Incy wincy spider...
Thoughts recorded on March 05, 2007...
Just got off the phone with Ayah and the kids - was updated with their monthly tests results. All the worrying about them (especially with Hilman : refer to earlier posting on Personality +) was quite unnecessary, I guess...
Anyway, we would normally end our nightly conversation with the kids passing the phone to Ayah last, but tonight, Ayah had to ask me to speak to Hilman (again) after I spoke to him - reason being : Hilman didn't want to go to the toilet to do whatever needed to be done, brush his teeth, etc., - reason being : he saw a spider in there this morning...
Ayah said, "Mommy, I think you'd better speak to Hilman and pujuk him to go to toilet... I have tried, but he still refuses to go...". And I said, "Okay, I'll try..."
Here goes -
Me : Hello again, sayang...
Hilman : Hello, Mommy...
Me : What's the matter, sayang? Ayah told me that you didn't want to go to toilet and brush your teeth?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : Why?
Hilman : Because I saw a big spider in there this morning.
Me : Hmmmm...how big was the spider, sayang?
Hilman : This big... (I can just imagine him trying to describe the size to me with his cute little chubby fingers).
Me : How big? You have to TELL me, sayang, because I cannot see you.
Hilman : (5 second pause. I think he was trying to estimate the size of the spider....Then it came -) One inch.
Me : One inch?! Hmmmm.... That's not big, is it?
Hilman : (He quickly quipped) I mean - TWO inch.
Me : Ok, Hilman...Can Mommy ask you something?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : How big are you?
Hilman : Mmmmmmm....... (trying really had to find the right figure to describe his size) Errrr.... six thousand inch.
Me : Ok, now.... who is bigger? The two-inch spider, or the 6000-inch you?
Hilman : Me.
Me : Ok... You're bigger than the spider, right?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : Are you still scared of the incy wincy little spider?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : (Hmmmm...this is not going anywhere is it?! How am I going to convince him that the spider was probably more scared of him than he, of the spider?! Anyway....) Don't worry, Hilman... The spider will not harm you, ok?
Hilman : Mommy, what is "harm"?
Me : It means "kacau" (that's the only word that I could think of to use to make an innocent 6 year old understand, I guess). The spider will not kacau you, okay?
Hilman : (Pretty quiet for about 5 seconds, then -) Bye, Mommy... (and he put down the phone!!)
And I thought to myself - Hmmmmm...ZERO POINT for me tonight...
If ONLY I was there for him to face the incy wincy spider...
But then again, I don't think I can do anything to help him there - considering my 12,000 inch self is so, so, (I MEAN) SO scared of a 2 inch cockroach myself....
So, to all mothers out there who sometimes try to act "macho" in front of your kids - all for the right reasons (I'm sure?), wherever you are.... Don't you think we REALLY have to convince OURSELVES first of whatever it is that we are trying to convince our kids - then only, they'll buy it from us....? Wink...wink...
Wassalam...
Just got off the phone with Ayah and the kids - was updated with their monthly tests results. All the worrying about them (especially with Hilman : refer to earlier posting on Personality +) was quite unnecessary, I guess...
Anyway, we would normally end our nightly conversation with the kids passing the phone to Ayah last, but tonight, Ayah had to ask me to speak to Hilman (again) after I spoke to him - reason being : Hilman didn't want to go to the toilet to do whatever needed to be done, brush his teeth, etc., - reason being : he saw a spider in there this morning...
Ayah said, "Mommy, I think you'd better speak to Hilman and pujuk him to go to toilet... I have tried, but he still refuses to go...". And I said, "Okay, I'll try..."
Here goes -
Me : Hello again, sayang...
Hilman : Hello, Mommy...
Me : What's the matter, sayang? Ayah told me that you didn't want to go to toilet and brush your teeth?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : Why?
Hilman : Because I saw a big spider in there this morning.
Me : Hmmmm...how big was the spider, sayang?
Hilman : This big... (I can just imagine him trying to describe the size to me with his cute little chubby fingers).
Me : How big? You have to TELL me, sayang, because I cannot see you.
Hilman : (5 second pause. I think he was trying to estimate the size of the spider....Then it came -) One inch.
Me : One inch?! Hmmmm.... That's not big, is it?
Hilman : (He quickly quipped) I mean - TWO inch.
Me : Ok, Hilman...Can Mommy ask you something?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : How big are you?
Hilman : Mmmmmmm....... (trying really had to find the right figure to describe his size) Errrr.... six thousand inch.
Me : Ok, now.... who is bigger? The two-inch spider, or the 6000-inch you?
Hilman : Me.
Me : Ok... You're bigger than the spider, right?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : Are you still scared of the incy wincy little spider?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : (Hmmmm...this is not going anywhere is it?! How am I going to convince him that the spider was probably more scared of him than he, of the spider?! Anyway....) Don't worry, Hilman... The spider will not harm you, ok?
Hilman : Mommy, what is "harm"?
Me : It means "kacau" (that's the only word that I could think of to use to make an innocent 6 year old understand, I guess). The spider will not kacau you, okay?
Hilman : (Pretty quiet for about 5 seconds, then -) Bye, Mommy... (and he put down the phone!!)
And I thought to myself - Hmmmmm...ZERO POINT for me tonight...
If ONLY I was there for him to face the incy wincy spider...
But then again, I don't think I can do anything to help him there - considering my 12,000 inch self is so, so, (I MEAN) SO scared of a 2 inch cockroach myself....
So, to all mothers out there who sometimes try to act "macho" in front of your kids - all for the right reasons (I'm sure?), wherever you are.... Don't you think we REALLY have to convince OURSELVES first of whatever it is that we are trying to convince our kids - then only, they'll buy it from us....? Wink...wink...
Wassalam...
Birds of a Feather : Addendum *
Toughts recorded on March 02, 2007...
* Addendum : Meaning - this posting would make a whole lot more sense if you were to read the posting before this first *
It just occured to me why only ONE of my Majlis Tertinggi friends (i.e. IBU) is in this Friendster thingy. IBU is a 100% choleric - so, she HAS to be in it! No two ways around it, man....
Anyway, let's just say, IBU, tomorrow you were to ask the rest of the Majlis Tertinggi guys this question -
IBU : Hey, you guys, why haven't you accepted Shana's invitation to join Friendster?
I BET the replies would be :
Queen of Phlegs of Villa Damansara :
Errr...ada invitation ya? How come I didn't get it? Anyway, does it involve me answering calls or replying SMSs? Can I just order McD or Pizzahut takeaway if the people in Friendster have to come over to my house....
HAHAHAHA!!!
(Errr...in the first place, my dear, you probably would have received the invitation IF you OPEN your e-mail sometimes?)
Sanguine Mak Datin of SS3 :
Friendster? What's that? And how EARLY do I have to wake up for that?! Anyway, do you guys know that ZARA ada Sale now?!!! Bestnyer!!!!!! I can't wait to go shopping!!! I have been aiming to get this really nice, cute, etc.....
HAHAHAHA!!!
Phlegmatic/ Melancholic of Bandar Hussein Onn :
Aku tak tau la... Aku kena buat costing semua dulu before aku join... By the way, FONT Friendster tu macam mana ahhh? Aku kena make sure okay semua dulu....
HAHAHAHA!!!!
Melancholic of Rasah Kemayan :
Aku susah la nak join....Laki aku tu kan....
HAHAHAHA!!!!
ADOI.... MINTAK AMPUN KAWAN-KAWANKU ....SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN....
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (I am literally crying my eyes out laughing at this moment.....) I AM REALLY, REALLY, SORRY, YOU GUYS.....(HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)
But, I (REALLY) DO rest my case... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Wassalam.... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
P/S : To many of you out there who didn't really get the joke, wherever you are - please accept my humble apologies...I just realized that you would only find this hilariously funny IF you knew these people...and oooooh maaaaannnn....how I wished you DO know them...
* Addendum : Meaning - this posting would make a whole lot more sense if you were to read the posting before this first *
It just occured to me why only ONE of my Majlis Tertinggi friends (i.e. IBU) is in this Friendster thingy. IBU is a 100% choleric - so, she HAS to be in it! No two ways around it, man....
Anyway, let's just say, IBU, tomorrow you were to ask the rest of the Majlis Tertinggi guys this question -
IBU : Hey, you guys, why haven't you accepted Shana's invitation to join Friendster?
I BET the replies would be :
Queen of Phlegs of Villa Damansara :
Errr...ada invitation ya? How come I didn't get it? Anyway, does it involve me answering calls or replying SMSs? Can I just order McD or Pizzahut takeaway if the people in Friendster have to come over to my house....
HAHAHAHA!!!
(Errr...in the first place, my dear, you probably would have received the invitation IF you OPEN your e-mail sometimes?)
Sanguine Mak Datin of SS3 :
Friendster? What's that? And how EARLY do I have to wake up for that?! Anyway, do you guys know that ZARA ada Sale now?!!! Bestnyer!!!!!! I can't wait to go shopping!!! I have been aiming to get this really nice, cute, etc.....
HAHAHAHA!!!
Phlegmatic/ Melancholic of Bandar Hussein Onn :
Aku tak tau la... Aku kena buat costing semua dulu before aku join... By the way, FONT Friendster tu macam mana ahhh? Aku kena make sure okay semua dulu....
HAHAHAHA!!!!
Melancholic of Rasah Kemayan :
Aku susah la nak join....Laki aku tu kan....
HAHAHAHA!!!!
ADOI.... MINTAK AMPUN KAWAN-KAWANKU ....SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN....
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (I am literally crying my eyes out laughing at this moment.....) I AM REALLY, REALLY, SORRY, YOU GUYS.....(HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)
But, I (REALLY) DO rest my case... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Wassalam.... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
P/S : To many of you out there who didn't really get the joke, wherever you are - please accept my humble apologies...I just realized that you would only find this hilariously funny IF you knew these people...and oooooh maaaaannnn....how I wished you DO know them...
Birds of a Feather...
Thoughts recorded March 02, 2007...
I was on the phone with Ayah just now, from the time he was walking to the car at the hospital until he found a parking space at The Curve (no prize for members of "Majlis Tertinggi" for guessing why he's at The Curve on a Friday night...wink wink!).
Anyway, we were just catching up on things that happened since we last spoke to each other on the phone this morning, and the conversations we had with the kids, and others, and all - and he mentioned that he had read the comments made by IBU on my posting on Personality Plus, which he thought was pretty funny (I totally agree!), and he said that all my "Majlis Tertinggi" friends ARE pretty funny... And I said to Ayah, "Well...birds of a feather, flock together..." But then, that made me think. "Hang on! We ARE NOT the same at all!".
For a start, there's our IBU from Green Park Rawang (a self-confessed choleric!). Hahaha! How more choleric can one get?! Like - "I don't want to hear any excuses...I just want to hear REASONS, like yesterday!!! You're FIRED!!!!" LOL!!!
Then there's the Queen of Phlegmatics of Villa Damansara who is the most laid-back person I have ever known in my entire life! Never raises her voice, always cool and collected, never panics. Always smiling...But, she can be pretty choleric sometimes. She can really juggle hundreds of things at the same time, I'm telling you. Imagine this, driving her Estima at 150km/h down to JB, on the phone with her office, while trying to keep her daughter still (the little princess was bouncing up and down on the front passenger seat!), and check this out - managed a work-related teleconference while having an outing with the rest of Majlis Tertinggi!
Talk about excelling under pressure!
Then there's our soon-to-be Datin of SS3 (insya Allah...Aamin) - who pretty much, I would say a sanguine through and through. Never has anything bad to say about anybody, always excited, always very animated, always has the "who-cares-what-time-I-wake-up- tomorrow" attitude. LOL!!! (Errr...I think the majority of the Majlis Tertinggi HAVE that attitude, actually...) But, she knows what she wants (so, there's a choleric streak in her, too). You should see how good she looks now - sheer discipline - making her way to the gym religiously...) Hats off to you, my dear Mak Datin....Hehehe!
And of course, our Bandar Hussein Onn friend...Another phlegmatic! BUT, my word...she can be so melancholic sometimes. Errrr....how many people out there do you know who would actually change the FONT (I repeat - THE FONT?!!) on the plan of their new house, like 10 times (maybe? or more?) before they finally think the plan looks good? She has been working and working and working on it for as long as I could remember! Oh maaaannnn...hurry up, woman!!! Bila kitoghang can go to your house-warming do at Saujana Impian ni?!!!
Then, there's our melancholic friend in Rasah Kemayan. Always making sure that everything is in order - has been trying to make sure the husband is in order, too!!! LOL!!! Errrr... he's a 100% sanguine, my dear...Just let him be! Nothing much you can do there, except love him...(LOL!) which I know you do! Hehehe!
And then...there's me...What you see is what you get... errrr...maybe not all the time, though (?!). I think I have a split-personality, depending on who I'm with, and where I am...Hmmm...That can be REALLY dangerous maaaannnn!! Anyway, small matter...
At the end of the day, I guess the saying - "Birds of a feather flock together..." does not ring true anymore... I guess as long as you feel really comfortable with all the birds, and the male birds are all comfortable with all the other male birds in the flock, then we will get one very big HAPPY flock of different birds of different feathers, maybe flocking together at The Curve, Rawang, Villa Damansara, Bandar Hussein Onn (Wei!!! Saujana Impian bila?!!!), SS3, Rasah Kemayan, and Sri Damansara anytime...
To all the birds of different feathers out there, wherever you are, flock with the other flocks sometimes...Who knows? You might find a flock which you feel so comfortable to be in, that you feel...so at home...together...wherever you are...
Wassalam...
I was on the phone with Ayah just now, from the time he was walking to the car at the hospital until he found a parking space at The Curve (no prize for members of "Majlis Tertinggi" for guessing why he's at The Curve on a Friday night...wink wink!).
Anyway, we were just catching up on things that happened since we last spoke to each other on the phone this morning, and the conversations we had with the kids, and others, and all - and he mentioned that he had read the comments made by IBU on my posting on Personality Plus, which he thought was pretty funny (I totally agree!), and he said that all my "Majlis Tertinggi" friends ARE pretty funny... And I said to Ayah, "Well...birds of a feather, flock together..." But then, that made me think. "Hang on! We ARE NOT the same at all!".
For a start, there's our IBU from Green Park Rawang (a self-confessed choleric!). Hahaha! How more choleric can one get?! Like - "I don't want to hear any excuses...I just want to hear REASONS, like yesterday!!! You're FIRED!!!!" LOL!!!
Then there's the Queen of Phlegmatics of Villa Damansara who is the most laid-back person I have ever known in my entire life! Never raises her voice, always cool and collected, never panics. Always smiling...But, she can be pretty choleric sometimes. She can really juggle hundreds of things at the same time, I'm telling you. Imagine this, driving her Estima at 150km/h down to JB, on the phone with her office, while trying to keep her daughter still (the little princess was bouncing up and down on the front passenger seat!), and check this out - managed a work-related teleconference while having an outing with the rest of Majlis Tertinggi!
Talk about excelling under pressure!
Then there's our soon-to-be Datin of SS3 (insya Allah...Aamin) - who pretty much, I would say a sanguine through and through. Never has anything bad to say about anybody, always excited, always very animated, always has the "who-cares-what-time-I-wake-up- tomorrow" attitude. LOL!!! (Errr...I think the majority of the Majlis Tertinggi HAVE that attitude, actually...) But, she knows what she wants (so, there's a choleric streak in her, too). You should see how good she looks now - sheer discipline - making her way to the gym religiously...) Hats off to you, my dear Mak Datin....Hehehe!
And of course, our Bandar Hussein Onn friend...Another phlegmatic! BUT, my word...she can be so melancholic sometimes. Errrr....how many people out there do you know who would actually change the FONT (I repeat - THE FONT?!!) on the plan of their new house, like 10 times (maybe? or more?) before they finally think the plan looks good? She has been working and working and working on it for as long as I could remember! Oh maaaannnn...hurry up, woman!!! Bila kitoghang can go to your house-warming do at Saujana Impian ni?!!!
Then, there's our melancholic friend in Rasah Kemayan. Always making sure that everything is in order - has been trying to make sure the husband is in order, too!!! LOL!!! Errrr... he's a 100% sanguine, my dear...Just let him be! Nothing much you can do there, except love him...(LOL!) which I know you do! Hehehe!
And then...there's me...What you see is what you get... errrr...maybe not all the time, though (?!). I think I have a split-personality, depending on who I'm with, and where I am...Hmmm...That can be REALLY dangerous maaaannnn!! Anyway, small matter...
At the end of the day, I guess the saying - "Birds of a feather flock together..." does not ring true anymore... I guess as long as you feel really comfortable with all the birds, and the male birds are all comfortable with all the other male birds in the flock, then we will get one very big HAPPY flock of different birds of different feathers, maybe flocking together at The Curve, Rawang, Villa Damansara, Bandar Hussein Onn (Wei!!! Saujana Impian bila?!!!), SS3, Rasah Kemayan, and Sri Damansara anytime...
To all the birds of different feathers out there, wherever you are, flock with the other flocks sometimes...Who knows? You might find a flock which you feel so comfortable to be in, that you feel...so at home...together...wherever you are...
Wassalam...
Personality plus, plus, plus...
Thoughts recorded on February 27, 2007...
I just got off the phone with my kids. They were just having dinner before their Tuesday night mengaji session with Ustadz Hadi, so we didn't get to chat long - just long enough for me to get the daily updates that I needed. Today's update - their monthly tests...
First, it was Hasya Sofea -
Me : Hello sayang...how are you?
Hasya : Hello mommy...I'm fine, thank you (munch, munch, munch)
Me : Oooops, are you having your dinner? (like I didn't know that she was?!)
Hasya : Uh-uh...I'm having rice, with ayam kicap and bayam...
Me : Wow!! That sounds really nice...(cut the crap, woman - go straight to the point). How was your test today?
Hasya : Good...It was soooo easy!
Me : Oooo...okay, did you get everything right, then?
Hasya : Hmmm...I don't know...wait till I get the results la!! What la you....Chuckle, chuckle... (She must be thinking - duuuuhhhhh....)
Me : What do you have tomorrow?
Hasya : Agama and Science.
Me : Have you done your revision for those two subjects?
Hasya : Science dah. Agama belum.
Me : Why Agama belum?
Hasya : Mmmmm....dunno! Because Ayah has not done the paper for me to practice yet?!
(Both Ayah and I always prepare mock papers for the kids before their tests/exams, by the way...Kiasu, eh?)
Me : Well...you can always read your books...
Hasya : Ok la! You want to speak to K.Long now?
(Ok, ok...I knew you wanted to get on with your dinner)
Me : Ok...I love you, I miss you...Mmmmmmuaaaahhh! Make sure you baca bismillah and selawat before your tests tomorrow and check your answers if you have time...Good night, sayang! Make sure you get No. 1 again! (Kiasu?!) Good luck for tomorrow!
Hasya : You know I always do la, Mommy....Good night! I love you, too. Mmmmmuaaaaahhh!!!KAK LONG!!!!! MOMMY WANTS TO SPEAK TO YOU!!!! (At the top of her voice - as usual!)
(Talk about one very confident choleric child...)
Then, it was Hanna Suhaila's turn -
Hanna : Assalamua'laikum Mommy...
Me : Wa a'laikumussalam, sayang... How are you?
Hanna : I'm fine, thank you...Mommy okay?
Me : I'm okay, thanks. Have you had your dinner? Better have it quick before Ustadz comes...(yeah, right...like how is she going to have dinner when she's on the phone with you, woman?!!!)
Hanna : Dah, baru aje habis... Mommy, Pemahaman was SOOOO, SOOO difficult, Penulisan was okay and Jawi, was okay, too... Even Michelle (that's the girl to beat in all her exams, by the way) had difficulties in the Pemahaman Paper. The rest also said that paper was tough. They were asking us about all these words which were very vague and seakan-akan sama, you know?! Tomorrow I have Agama and B.I. I'm not worried about B.I., but Agama....even though the teachers said it's gonna be easy...I still think it's not...I'm so nervous!!!! But, I'll be okay...(giggle, giggle...) And you know that for Jawi - we have to know all the jenis-jenis Khat and all? Well, luckily I went through them just before the test...(giggle, giggle again...)
NO PAUSE AT ALL IN BETWEEN!
And then she started telling me about all the Khats under the sun....
So, you see...with Hanna - you don't have to ask...She will tell you EVERYTHING...I guess because she knows that even if she does not want to talk about it, her Ayah and Mommy will never fail to ask her how she does in her tests/exams. So, might as well just tell everything in one breath - get it over and done with, so that she can go on and enjoy whatever she wants to enjoy after that!
That's one sanguine kid!
Me : Ok...well, you could always beat Michelle, you know....(Kiasu?!) I know you can do it, just that some times you can be a bit careless...Just be careful and check your answers if you have time, ok?
Hanna : Ok, Mommy...and oh ya...I will baca bismillah and selawat, and all...don't worry....Giggle...giggle..
(See what I mean about Hanna?)
Me : Ok, sayang...I love you, I miss you...Good night... Good luck for tomorrow, dear. Mmmmmuaaahhhh! Can I speak to Hilman, please. Thank you.
Hanna : I love you, too. I miss you! Thanks! Good night! Hilman, come on, come on! Mommy wants to speak to you!
And I waited for about 40 seconds before Hilman got to the phone...
Hilman Syauqi's turn.
Me : Hello sayang!!! How are you?
Hilman : Hello, Mommy...fine.
Me : Hilman dah makan?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : Hilman makan apa?
Hilman : Chicken.
Me : With rice?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : How was your test today?
Hilman : Good.
Me : (Phew...what a relief...Considering that three days ago, he didn't even know what a "test" was!!!) Did you get everything right?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : Good...you are such a clever boy..
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : What do you have tomorrow?
Hilman : What?
Me : What subjects do you have tomorrow?
Hilman : What??!! I don't understand.
Me : Errrr...you have some more tests tomorrow, right? Are you going to have Maths, or Science, or Agama?
Hilman : Errrr...I don't know...
Me : (Alamak!!!! Panic....panic!) It's okay Hilman, don't worry...(it was me who was sweating profusely, by the way!!!) You just ask Aunty Adek (that's my sister-in-law) to check your timetable and she will help you to revise tonight, ok? Make sure you read bismillah before your test okay?
Hilman : Ok.
Me : I love you, I miss you...Good night...Mmmuuaaahhhh!!! Can I speak to Aunty Adek, please?
Hilman : Ok...I love you, I miss you, Mommy...Mmmmuuaaahhh!!Bye Mommy....(in the background ) Aunty Adek...Mommy wants to talk to you...
(How phlegmatic can one kid be?!)
And I had to brief Aunty Adek for a full ten minutes on how to do an intensive revision session with Hilman tonight!!! Kiasu?!
See? I have three kids with three different personalities. A choleric (Hasya), a sanguine (Hanna) and a phlegmatic (Hilman). But, the same with a lot of you parents out there, with all three - I have the same KIASU attitude when it comes to their quest for knowledge - which, at the end of the day, means gaining of confidence : which, in turn, I believe IS the key to becoming someone with a wholesome, positive personality... But, of course, we also have to balance those with the things they don't teach in school, to make them a wholesome, positive, humble and likable personality...
So to all mothers out there who have a lot of personalities to handle - wherever you are, wherever THEY are - (i) just enjoy them; (ii) be a bit of choleric melancholic mom (a.k.a 'KIASU') every now and then; and (iii) do a bit of balancing, too, while you're at it. I just did all three, all under twenty minutes, all over the phone...
Wassalam...
I just got off the phone with my kids. They were just having dinner before their Tuesday night mengaji session with Ustadz Hadi, so we didn't get to chat long - just long enough for me to get the daily updates that I needed. Today's update - their monthly tests...
First, it was Hasya Sofea -
Me : Hello sayang...how are you?
Hasya : Hello mommy...I'm fine, thank you (munch, munch, munch)
Me : Oooops, are you having your dinner? (like I didn't know that she was?!)
Hasya : Uh-uh...I'm having rice, with ayam kicap and bayam...
Me : Wow!! That sounds really nice...(cut the crap, woman - go straight to the point). How was your test today?
Hasya : Good...It was soooo easy!
Me : Oooo...okay, did you get everything right, then?
Hasya : Hmmm...I don't know...wait till I get the results la!! What la you....Chuckle, chuckle... (She must be thinking - duuuuhhhhh....)
Me : What do you have tomorrow?
Hasya : Agama and Science.
Me : Have you done your revision for those two subjects?
Hasya : Science dah. Agama belum.
Me : Why Agama belum?
Hasya : Mmmmm....dunno! Because Ayah has not done the paper for me to practice yet?!
(Both Ayah and I always prepare mock papers for the kids before their tests/exams, by the way...Kiasu, eh?)
Me : Well...you can always read your books...
Hasya : Ok la! You want to speak to K.Long now?
(Ok, ok...I knew you wanted to get on with your dinner)
Me : Ok...I love you, I miss you...Mmmmmmuaaaahhh! Make sure you baca bismillah and selawat before your tests tomorrow and check your answers if you have time...Good night, sayang! Make sure you get No. 1 again! (Kiasu?!) Good luck for tomorrow!
Hasya : You know I always do la, Mommy....Good night! I love you, too. Mmmmmuaaaaahhh!!!KAK LONG!!!!! MOMMY WANTS TO SPEAK TO YOU!!!! (At the top of her voice - as usual!)
(Talk about one very confident choleric child...)
Then, it was Hanna Suhaila's turn -
Hanna : Assalamua'laikum Mommy...
Me : Wa a'laikumussalam, sayang... How are you?
Hanna : I'm fine, thank you...Mommy okay?
Me : I'm okay, thanks. Have you had your dinner? Better have it quick before Ustadz comes...(yeah, right...like how is she going to have dinner when she's on the phone with you, woman?!!!)
Hanna : Dah, baru aje habis... Mommy, Pemahaman was SOOOO, SOOO difficult, Penulisan was okay and Jawi, was okay, too... Even Michelle (that's the girl to beat in all her exams, by the way) had difficulties in the Pemahaman Paper. The rest also said that paper was tough. They were asking us about all these words which were very vague and seakan-akan sama, you know?! Tomorrow I have Agama and B.I. I'm not worried about B.I., but Agama....even though the teachers said it's gonna be easy...I still think it's not...I'm so nervous!!!! But, I'll be okay...(giggle, giggle...) And you know that for Jawi - we have to know all the jenis-jenis Khat and all? Well, luckily I went through them just before the test...(giggle, giggle again...)
NO PAUSE AT ALL IN BETWEEN!
And then she started telling me about all the Khats under the sun....
So, you see...with Hanna - you don't have to ask...She will tell you EVERYTHING...I guess because she knows that even if she does not want to talk about it, her Ayah and Mommy will never fail to ask her how she does in her tests/exams. So, might as well just tell everything in one breath - get it over and done with, so that she can go on and enjoy whatever she wants to enjoy after that!
That's one sanguine kid!
Me : Ok...well, you could always beat Michelle, you know....(Kiasu?!) I know you can do it, just that some times you can be a bit careless...Just be careful and check your answers if you have time, ok?
Hanna : Ok, Mommy...and oh ya...I will baca bismillah and selawat, and all...don't worry....Giggle...giggle..
(See what I mean about Hanna?)
Me : Ok, sayang...I love you, I miss you...Good night... Good luck for tomorrow, dear. Mmmmmuaaahhhh! Can I speak to Hilman, please. Thank you.
Hanna : I love you, too. I miss you! Thanks! Good night! Hilman, come on, come on! Mommy wants to speak to you!
And I waited for about 40 seconds before Hilman got to the phone...
Hilman Syauqi's turn.
Me : Hello sayang!!! How are you?
Hilman : Hello, Mommy...fine.
Me : Hilman dah makan?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : Hilman makan apa?
Hilman : Chicken.
Me : With rice?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : How was your test today?
Hilman : Good.
Me : (Phew...what a relief...Considering that three days ago, he didn't even know what a "test" was!!!) Did you get everything right?
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : Good...you are such a clever boy..
Hilman : Uh-uh.
Me : What do you have tomorrow?
Hilman : What?
Me : What subjects do you have tomorrow?
Hilman : What??!! I don't understand.
Me : Errrr...you have some more tests tomorrow, right? Are you going to have Maths, or Science, or Agama?
Hilman : Errrr...I don't know...
Me : (Alamak!!!! Panic....panic!) It's okay Hilman, don't worry...(it was me who was sweating profusely, by the way!!!) You just ask Aunty Adek (that's my sister-in-law) to check your timetable and she will help you to revise tonight, ok? Make sure you read bismillah before your test okay?
Hilman : Ok.
Me : I love you, I miss you...Good night...Mmmuuaaahhhh!!! Can I speak to Aunty Adek, please?
Hilman : Ok...I love you, I miss you, Mommy...Mmmmuuaaahhh!!Bye Mommy....(in the background ) Aunty Adek...Mommy wants to talk to you...
(How phlegmatic can one kid be?!)
And I had to brief Aunty Adek for a full ten minutes on how to do an intensive revision session with Hilman tonight!!! Kiasu?!
See? I have three kids with three different personalities. A choleric (Hasya), a sanguine (Hanna) and a phlegmatic (Hilman). But, the same with a lot of you parents out there, with all three - I have the same KIASU attitude when it comes to their quest for knowledge - which, at the end of the day, means gaining of confidence : which, in turn, I believe IS the key to becoming someone with a wholesome, positive personality... But, of course, we also have to balance those with the things they don't teach in school, to make them a wholesome, positive, humble and likable personality...
So to all mothers out there who have a lot of personalities to handle - wherever you are, wherever THEY are - (i) just enjoy them; (ii) be a bit of choleric melancholic mom (a.k.a 'KIASU') every now and then; and (iii) do a bit of balancing, too, while you're at it. I just did all three, all under twenty minutes, all over the phone...
Wassalam...
IQ, UQ, WeQ...
Thoughts recorded on February 23, 2007...
I was taking a break this afternoon (hmmm...I seem to be taking A LOT of breaks lately!) when I decided to try one of the IQ tests which you can get access to through the internet. I did one test which (I think) I attempted about 3-4 years ago, and I got the score of 136....(and I seem to remember getting a similar score the last time I did the same test). Anyway, does that mean that I am still smart (or stupid) as I was then?
Anyway, the score of 136 CANNOT be good - considering I don't even know what that score means?!LOL!!! And I just did not have the time to find out more about my score, but it did say that I am a "Visionary Planner" (or was it "Visionary Philosopher"?) Well...whatever! I don't need an IQ test to tell me how smart (or stupid?) I am. But, I know that I am SMART enough NOT to pay GBP9 to have my score interpreted and sent to me!
Anyway, I will probably get Ayah to do the same test and see how he does in it, then I can roughly gauge where I stand with my score. He'll probably get a score of 272 or something like that . Errr....Is that POSSIBLE? See how 'duuuuhhhhh' I am? Hahaha!
Okay...break over. To those who have been taking too long a break, wherever you are, GET BACK TO WORK, GUYS!
Wassalam...
I was taking a break this afternoon (hmmm...I seem to be taking A LOT of breaks lately!) when I decided to try one of the IQ tests which you can get access to through the internet. I did one test which (I think) I attempted about 3-4 years ago, and I got the score of 136....(and I seem to remember getting a similar score the last time I did the same test). Anyway, does that mean that I am still smart (or stupid) as I was then?
Anyway, the score of 136 CANNOT be good - considering I don't even know what that score means?!LOL!!! And I just did not have the time to find out more about my score, but it did say that I am a "Visionary Planner" (or was it "Visionary Philosopher"?) Well...whatever! I don't need an IQ test to tell me how smart (or stupid?) I am. But, I know that I am SMART enough NOT to pay GBP9 to have my score interpreted and sent to me!
Anyway, I will probably get Ayah to do the same test and see how he does in it, then I can roughly gauge where I stand with my score. He'll probably get a score of 272 or something like that . Errr....Is that POSSIBLE? See how 'duuuuhhhhh' I am? Hahaha!
Okay...break over. To those who have been taking too long a break, wherever you are, GET BACK TO WORK, GUYS!
Wassalam...
Beneath the same big blue sky...
Thoughts recorded on February 21, 2007...
It was 7.50pm and I was so, so, stressed out! I have two revised chapters which I promised my supervisor that I would e-mail to her by Thursday (I must have been under the influence of Pearl cafe when I made that promise - that drink sometimes gives me the "Malaysia Boleh" attitude at very unappropriate times!) It was 3.50am in Malaysia and I couldn't be calling home! Stupid time zones...
"Hate" may be too harsh a word, but I DO HATE 4.00pm-11.00pm (GMT) simply because in between these hours almost everybody I know is dreaming away in Dreamland...I opened up my Yahoo Messenger - nobody was online! I opened up my Yahoo Mail - yep, I have 4 new mails - from Google Alerts, Chicken Soup Series and a couple of political journals which I subscribe to (postings of which I rarely read anyway!)
But Ayah DID say that I could call him ANY time I feel like talking... So, just to make sure that I would not give him a heart attack when his phone rings, I sent him an SMS first (at 3.55am Malaysia) - "Jz 2 exhaustd mntally 2 go on wt work - i'm jz not gonna do anythg 4 nx couple days. Wil tel ilona (she's my supervisor, by the way) i nd to wind down - my head rlly feels tepu! I need a hug now...."
Waited....and waited....and waited...and finally - a reply came! - "Jz read ur sms. Totally agree u shld wind down & chill out! Y don't u go c a movie...hv drink w fltmates...watch dvds...go shopping...or write in ur blog? Take care..."
Errrr...See a movie? Nope - one must be crazy (or really drunk?) to go out in this cold weather! Have a drink with my flatmates? Nope-nope. Unless I want to drag them home when I'll be the only one sober to lead the way back to the flat! Watch DVDs? Not in the mood. Go shopping? Hmmmm...I think Ayah was still half asleep when he wrote the SMS - all the shops are closed my dear...Northumberland Street IS NOT Bintang Walk...or Taiping Cashier Market, for that matter...Everything closes at 6pm. Period. Write in my blog? Well...that looks like the only thing I can do now...
Well, frankly my dear, I did not send you the SMS to get ideas as to what I should do to wind down...I just wanted to make sure that you were up, (or rather - I wanted to WAKE YOU UP!) so that I could call you...Wink!Wink!
And I did just THAT! It was really nice talking to you...And I am all wound down and chilled out now...No need for movies, no need for outings with friends, no need for shopping. All I needed was to hear your voice - at 4.00am in Malaysia...
I guess it really does not matter if we are in different time zones after all...At the end of the day, when you think about it - We are beneath the same big blue sky...
So, to those who are in dire need to talk to someone, wherever you are beneath the big blue sky, just grab that phone, pour your heart out... and you will feel much, much better. I should know - I did just that...and my "Malaysia Boleh" attitude looks like it's coming back...or is it because I just had my Pearl cafe?! Hmmmm....
Wassalam...
It was 7.50pm and I was so, so, stressed out! I have two revised chapters which I promised my supervisor that I would e-mail to her by Thursday (I must have been under the influence of Pearl cafe when I made that promise - that drink sometimes gives me the "Malaysia Boleh" attitude at very unappropriate times!) It was 3.50am in Malaysia and I couldn't be calling home! Stupid time zones...
"Hate" may be too harsh a word, but I DO HATE 4.00pm-11.00pm (GMT) simply because in between these hours almost everybody I know is dreaming away in Dreamland...I opened up my Yahoo Messenger - nobody was online! I opened up my Yahoo Mail - yep, I have 4 new mails - from Google Alerts, Chicken Soup Series and a couple of political journals which I subscribe to (postings of which I rarely read anyway!)
But Ayah DID say that I could call him ANY time I feel like talking... So, just to make sure that I would not give him a heart attack when his phone rings, I sent him an SMS first (at 3.55am Malaysia) - "Jz 2 exhaustd mntally 2 go on wt work - i'm jz not gonna do anythg 4 nx couple days. Wil tel ilona (she's my supervisor, by the way) i nd to wind down - my head rlly feels tepu! I need a hug now...."
Waited....and waited....and waited...and finally - a reply came! - "Jz read ur sms. Totally agree u shld wind down & chill out! Y don't u go c a movie...hv drink w fltmates...watch dvds...go shopping...or write in ur blog? Take care..."
Errrr...See a movie? Nope - one must be crazy (or really drunk?) to go out in this cold weather! Have a drink with my flatmates? Nope-nope. Unless I want to drag them home when I'll be the only one sober to lead the way back to the flat! Watch DVDs? Not in the mood. Go shopping? Hmmmm...I think Ayah was still half asleep when he wrote the SMS - all the shops are closed my dear...Northumberland Street IS NOT Bintang Walk...or Taiping Cashier Market, for that matter...Everything closes at 6pm. Period. Write in my blog? Well...that looks like the only thing I can do now...
Well, frankly my dear, I did not send you the SMS to get ideas as to what I should do to wind down...I just wanted to make sure that you were up, (or rather - I wanted to WAKE YOU UP!) so that I could call you...Wink!Wink!
And I did just THAT! It was really nice talking to you...And I am all wound down and chilled out now...No need for movies, no need for outings with friends, no need for shopping. All I needed was to hear your voice - at 4.00am in Malaysia...
I guess it really does not matter if we are in different time zones after all...At the end of the day, when you think about it - We are beneath the same big blue sky...
So, to those who are in dire need to talk to someone, wherever you are beneath the big blue sky, just grab that phone, pour your heart out... and you will feel much, much better. I should know - I did just that...and my "Malaysia Boleh" attitude looks like it's coming back...or is it because I just had my Pearl cafe?! Hmmmm....
Wassalam...
The Sound of Silence...
Thoughts recorded on February 14, 2007
It is 5.40a.m and the flat is so, so, quiet...a nice welcoming change from the hang bang and clickety clangs that I normally get from my flatmates. Don't get me wrong - they are a nice lot, in their own ways (except when they sometimes leave their unwashed dishes in the sink for days!!!). I suppose they need to let off steam every now and then, and for that they can be excused. They are, after all, just like me - students; but, unlike me - young; and unlike me - (presumably) do not have a Blog to let all their steam in...
This is my favourite time of the day when I'm in Geordieland. No rush - nowhere to go to, no errands to run, no meals to cook - just solat, and make do'a for my loved ones and seek for HIS forgiveness for all my sins and shortcomings. This is the time when I feel most closest to HIM. And this is the the time when I think of my children the most... and think of how, in their own unique ways, discover the Greatness of Allah...And this morning, my thoughts bring me to my son, Hilman Syauqi...
"Sorry God...Sorry Allah!" - those were the exact four words that Hilman would say out SO, SO LOUDLY whenever he had done something wrong, whether UNintentionally or intentionally.
And it always made me smile when he would say those words suddenly, out of the blue while he was playing with his Hot Wheels collection, or when he was doing his colourings, or when he was just running around the house aimlessly...because they told me that he had done something wrong. When that happened, I would call out to him and asked, "What did you do, Hilman?" and to which he would confess all and then said, "Sorry, Mommy...". More often than not, (depending on what exactly that he had done wrong, if they WERE wrong in the first place, that is!), I would just kiss him on his head and tell him not to do it again, and he would go back straight to whatever he was doing.
But, I realized that after a while, the LOUD words of seeking for forgiveness, gradually turned into utters of whispers, and one day he just stopped saying them altogether...
The same could be said of all the do'a that he would say as he goes through his daily and nightly routines. The do'a for before and after meals, for going in and out of the toilet, the do'a and zikr before he goes to sleep. All of which he would say out SO,SO LOUDLY! I remember him being scolded by his Kak Ngah Hasya who was very crossed because she was trying REALLY hard to sleep but she could not because Hilman was saying his do'a at the top of his voice!
And Hilman...you refused to have your milk before you have said your do'a for fear that you would fall asleep in the midst of your milk and you would not have said the do'a for that night. And you refused to say them alone and insisted that I read the do'a and zikr together with you...
I noticed THAT, too has now become a silent ritual for you...
I remember the first night I was back in KL for a short break two months ago. I was tucking you in bed and you looked at me without saying a word. And I remember saying to myself that maybe you were just savouring the moment after being apart from me for quite some time, just as I was savouring that moment, too...when suddenly you started drinking your milk. I stopped you midway and asked why you did not say your do'a. You took the bottle out of your mouth, gazed at me with your sleepy eyes and said..."Hilman dah baca...in my heart..."
Those words brought tears to me eyes, because I then realized that you had grown up while I was and you were not my little boy anymore. You didn't need me to read the do'a and zikr with you anymore...But, more importantly, you were beginning to understand the Greatness of Allah - Who Sees whatever you do, Hears whatever you say, and Understands whatever you feel....in your HEART...
Mommy is so, so, proud of you my sweet, sweet, dear Hilman...And I hope that even when you have grown into a fine man that I know you will, you will make do'a for Mommy and Ayah, and your K.Long Hanna and K.Ngah Hasya after every solat or whenever or wherever you are...in your HEART...because HE will hear your do'a, even if we don't...and that is all that matters...
For all you boys out there - grown-ups or not, wherever you are, I hope you realized how precious your do'a is to your own Mommies and Ayahs...especially when you say it in your HEARTS, when you feel closest to ALLAH...and I pray that you WILL find the time you feel closest to HIM, in your HEARTS, in the sound of silence...
Wassalam...
It is 5.40a.m and the flat is so, so, quiet...a nice welcoming change from the hang bang and clickety clangs that I normally get from my flatmates. Don't get me wrong - they are a nice lot, in their own ways (except when they sometimes leave their unwashed dishes in the sink for days!!!). I suppose they need to let off steam every now and then, and for that they can be excused. They are, after all, just like me - students; but, unlike me - young; and unlike me - (presumably) do not have a Blog to let all their steam in...
This is my favourite time of the day when I'm in Geordieland. No rush - nowhere to go to, no errands to run, no meals to cook - just solat, and make do'a for my loved ones and seek for HIS forgiveness for all my sins and shortcomings. This is the time when I feel most closest to HIM. And this is the the time when I think of my children the most... and think of how, in their own unique ways, discover the Greatness of Allah...And this morning, my thoughts bring me to my son, Hilman Syauqi...
"Sorry God...Sorry Allah!" - those were the exact four words that Hilman would say out SO, SO LOUDLY whenever he had done something wrong, whether UNintentionally or intentionally.
And it always made me smile when he would say those words suddenly, out of the blue while he was playing with his Hot Wheels collection, or when he was doing his colourings, or when he was just running around the house aimlessly...because they told me that he had done something wrong. When that happened, I would call out to him and asked, "What did you do, Hilman?" and to which he would confess all and then said, "Sorry, Mommy...". More often than not, (depending on what exactly that he had done wrong, if they WERE wrong in the first place, that is!), I would just kiss him on his head and tell him not to do it again, and he would go back straight to whatever he was doing.
But, I realized that after a while, the LOUD words of seeking for forgiveness, gradually turned into utters of whispers, and one day he just stopped saying them altogether...
The same could be said of all the do'a that he would say as he goes through his daily and nightly routines. The do'a for before and after meals, for going in and out of the toilet, the do'a and zikr before he goes to sleep. All of which he would say out SO,SO LOUDLY! I remember him being scolded by his Kak Ngah Hasya who was very crossed because she was trying REALLY hard to sleep but she could not because Hilman was saying his do'a at the top of his voice!
And Hilman...you refused to have your milk before you have said your do'a for fear that you would fall asleep in the midst of your milk and you would not have said the do'a for that night. And you refused to say them alone and insisted that I read the do'a and zikr together with you...
I noticed THAT, too has now become a silent ritual for you...
I remember the first night I was back in KL for a short break two months ago. I was tucking you in bed and you looked at me without saying a word. And I remember saying to myself that maybe you were just savouring the moment after being apart from me for quite some time, just as I was savouring that moment, too...when suddenly you started drinking your milk. I stopped you midway and asked why you did not say your do'a. You took the bottle out of your mouth, gazed at me with your sleepy eyes and said..."Hilman dah baca...in my heart..."
Those words brought tears to me eyes, because I then realized that you had grown up while I was and you were not my little boy anymore. You didn't need me to read the do'a and zikr with you anymore...But, more importantly, you were beginning to understand the Greatness of Allah - Who Sees whatever you do, Hears whatever you say, and Understands whatever you feel....in your HEART...
Mommy is so, so, proud of you my sweet, sweet, dear Hilman...And I hope that even when you have grown into a fine man that I know you will, you will make do'a for Mommy and Ayah, and your K.Long Hanna and K.Ngah Hasya after every solat or whenever or wherever you are...in your HEART...because HE will hear your do'a, even if we don't...and that is all that matters...
For all you boys out there - grown-ups or not, wherever you are, I hope you realized how precious your do'a is to your own Mommies and Ayahs...especially when you say it in your HEARTS, when you feel closest to ALLAH...and I pray that you WILL find the time you feel closest to HIM, in your HEARTS, in the sound of silence...
Wassalam...
My favourite pair of jeans...
Thoughts recorded on February 11, 2007...
I was having lunch with a dear friend and her family yesterday when she asked me when I would be posting another entry. She said that she always looks forward to what I have to write every time, and somehow her lunch break is much more interesting now. Thank you, dear... I'll take that as a compliment. Anyway, she somewhat answered her own question when she then said to herself, that I am here to do my PhD and not write a blog... Hahaha...Thank you (again), dear...for reminding me. I do sometimes forget that...(wink, wink!)
Anyway, I did quite a bit of work yesterday and it IS Sunday today - my vacuuming and my ironing day, AND I think it would be a good blogging day, too... So, here I am!
Speaking of ironing, I did a bit of that just now. My once a week rigmural here in Newcastle (N.B. Back home I would be Ma'am Besar because the maid would do it for me!!) Anyway, when I TRY to do my ironing, what I would normally do is- I would take out everything which has been washed, dried and hanged the week before (unironed of course), put them on the bed and iron them lovingly...(I wished!!!) And I was doing just that when I noticed that I had 3 pairs of jeans unironed, whereas I had only been wearing one pair for the last 3 weeks or so. (Excuse me, that did not include the trackbottoms and the other ungodly stay-at-home pants that I did wear inter-changeably in the last 3 weeks, ok?!)
I have a white Goggles, a black Levis and and a blue GAP jeans... and the one that I kept on wearing was the last one - my blue Boot Cut Stretch GAP jeans.
And I asked myself, what is it about THAT jeans that makes me just love it so much? And I actually made a "because" list (that just goes to show how bored I was!), which goes something like this -
1 - it was the first Size 2R jeans that I could fit in comfortably, and it was SUCH an accomplishment for me when I bought it in December 2005, because the previous GAP jeans that I bought in March 2004 was a Size 8R! I had ALWAYS, ALWAYS before that day wished that I could find and fit in a Size 2 designer jeans perfect for me;
2 - even though I have gained/lost 2-3kgs from the day I bought that jeans, it somehow accommodates my weight gain and losses well and it ALWAYS makes me feel comfortable.
3 - it looks good.
4 - and I look good in it (well...I think so! I don't care what other people think! Hahaha!!!)
And it suddenly occured to me that I also have ANOTHER pair of favourite jeans, because it has all the "because" criteria listed above-
- because it was such an accomplishment for me when I got this particular jeans - it has everything that I was looking for in a jeans, a perfect jeans for ME;
- this particular jeans has accommodated me very well from the first day I had it - when I was fat, when I was thin, when I was up, when I was down; and it ALWAYS makes me feel comfortable whatever, shapes, sizes and forms I'm in;
- this particular jeans is the best-looking jeans around (well, in my eyes, it is perfect!);
- and we look good together... this particular jeans and I...
So, sorry Ayah, for today I have reduced you to being just a pair of jeans - MY FAVOURITE PAIR OF JEANS! And I know that I'm your favourite pair of jeans, too ...and I pray that I will always be until I'm all torn and tattered... Luv ya!!
And Hanna, Hasya and Hilman, if you each could find a pair of jeans which is as good (or even HALF as good) as MY favourite pair of jeans, I know you all will be truly blessed...
To all those favourite pair of jeans out there, wherever you are, whenever you are one - in the past, in the present and in the future... Be thankful that you get or got to be someone's favourite pair of jeans...
To all those who, through no faults or choices of your own, may have been overlooked or missed by those looking out for their favourite pair of jeans... don't worry... Your favourite pair of jeans is somewhere out there... Go shopping every now and then, eh?
Wassalam...
I was having lunch with a dear friend and her family yesterday when she asked me when I would be posting another entry. She said that she always looks forward to what I have to write every time, and somehow her lunch break is much more interesting now. Thank you, dear... I'll take that as a compliment. Anyway, she somewhat answered her own question when she then said to herself, that I am here to do my PhD and not write a blog... Hahaha...Thank you (again), dear...for reminding me. I do sometimes forget that...(wink, wink!)
Anyway, I did quite a bit of work yesterday and it IS Sunday today - my vacuuming and my ironing day, AND I think it would be a good blogging day, too... So, here I am!
Speaking of ironing, I did a bit of that just now. My once a week rigmural here in Newcastle (N.B. Back home I would be Ma'am Besar because the maid would do it for me!!) Anyway, when I TRY to do my ironing, what I would normally do is- I would take out everything which has been washed, dried and hanged the week before (unironed of course), put them on the bed and iron them lovingly...(I wished!!!) And I was doing just that when I noticed that I had 3 pairs of jeans unironed, whereas I had only been wearing one pair for the last 3 weeks or so. (Excuse me, that did not include the trackbottoms and the other ungodly stay-at-home pants that I did wear inter-changeably in the last 3 weeks, ok?!)
I have a white Goggles, a black Levis and and a blue GAP jeans... and the one that I kept on wearing was the last one - my blue Boot Cut Stretch GAP jeans.
And I asked myself, what is it about THAT jeans that makes me just love it so much? And I actually made a "because" list (that just goes to show how bored I was!), which goes something like this -
1 - it was the first Size 2R jeans that I could fit in comfortably, and it was SUCH an accomplishment for me when I bought it in December 2005, because the previous GAP jeans that I bought in March 2004 was a Size 8R! I had ALWAYS, ALWAYS before that day wished that I could find and fit in a Size 2 designer jeans perfect for me;
2 - even though I have gained/lost 2-3kgs from the day I bought that jeans, it somehow accommodates my weight gain and losses well and it ALWAYS makes me feel comfortable.
3 - it looks good.
4 - and I look good in it (well...I think so! I don't care what other people think! Hahaha!!!)
And it suddenly occured to me that I also have ANOTHER pair of favourite jeans, because it has all the "because" criteria listed above-
- because it was such an accomplishment for me when I got this particular jeans - it has everything that I was looking for in a jeans, a perfect jeans for ME;
- this particular jeans has accommodated me very well from the first day I had it - when I was fat, when I was thin, when I was up, when I was down; and it ALWAYS makes me feel comfortable whatever, shapes, sizes and forms I'm in;
- this particular jeans is the best-looking jeans around (well, in my eyes, it is perfect!);
- and we look good together... this particular jeans and I...
So, sorry Ayah, for today I have reduced you to being just a pair of jeans - MY FAVOURITE PAIR OF JEANS! And I know that I'm your favourite pair of jeans, too ...and I pray that I will always be until I'm all torn and tattered... Luv ya!!
And Hanna, Hasya and Hilman, if you each could find a pair of jeans which is as good (or even HALF as good) as MY favourite pair of jeans, I know you all will be truly blessed...
To all those favourite pair of jeans out there, wherever you are, whenever you are one - in the past, in the present and in the future... Be thankful that you get or got to be someone's favourite pair of jeans...
To all those who, through no faults or choices of your own, may have been overlooked or missed by those looking out for their favourite pair of jeans... don't worry... Your favourite pair of jeans is somewhere out there... Go shopping every now and then, eh?
Wassalam...
Hikmah...
Thoughts recorded on February 09, 2007...
A friend visited me at the flat this afternoon, and we started chatting about what friends normally chat about, which more often than not, have no definite starting and definitely nearly always start to look like there is no ending....(Hahaha!)
Anyway, at one point both of us started to talk about how much we have in common with each other. For a start, we share the same birthday, albeit, she is one year younger than me. We went to the same secondary boarding school, we both have legal backgrounds, we both are now doing our PhD in Newcastle (and check this out - under the SAME supervisor!), and we both try to avoid our supervisor whenever we can! And we somehow realized that we also have one very significant experience in common - we both lost our second babies through miscarriages in Newcastle while both of us were studying - me, while I was doing my Masters in 1997, while she was into her second year of her PhD in 2005.
And we started talking about it and how we overcame the grief of losing our babies, when at the time it happened we thought it was just not possible to be happy again...
Talking about it brought tears to my eyes, even after ten years...
I was at the stage of working on my Dissertation as part of the final requirement for my LL.M when it happened, exactly 12 weeks into my second pregnancy. Nothing could describe how shattered I was and how unfair I felt life was to me for taking my baby away from me... I can still vividly remember when Ayah made the phonecall to tell my supervisor the news. The tears from my eyes just could not stop flowing! I refused to speak to anybody who called to ask how I was - even the sound of the phone ringing was so unbearable because I just could not understand why people wanted to know what actually happened, and how I was coping. I just lost my child! How did they think I was coping??!! I just did not want to talk about it. I did not know what happened - I just knew that I had lost my baby. Every time the phone rang I would start crying... (In retrospect, we are so thankful that we had so many people out there who cared about me and Haizal...Thank you so much, for all your do'a through that very difficult time for us).
I had so many questions on my mind - why did it happen? why did it happen to me? was there anything that I did which caused the miscarriage? was it a baby boy? was it a baby girl?
Ayah was very, very sad, too...but, he had to be strong for Mommy. I still remember the words that he said - "Ada hikmah behind all of these, sayang... The baby could have been very severely deformed, or very seriously ill if the pregnancy were to continue until full term, maybe. Your body has a natural way of knowing all these and that was why you had the miscarriage... Kita kena banyak bersabar..."
But, at that point in time, I was just too distraught to accept any words of comfort from anyone, even from your Ayah. I was full of self-pity that I forgot that Ayah was also feeling the pain....I remember saying to myself when I was feeling really down - "What hikmah can there be when I had just lost a child?!"
But now, I know what the hikmah were and are...
Had the pregnancy continued to full term, my baby would have been born in March 1998, and chances were - Ayah and Mommy would not have tried for another baby so soon after that. And chances were, YOU would not have been born into the world on 8th April, 1999 - the next year...
YOU, Hasya Sofea Haizal - my darling princess, WERE and ARE the Hikmah...
You have brought so much joy to our lives, and never fail to continue bringing it, in your very special way.... And we want you to always know, as your Ayah always says - You are our favourite second daughter.... just as K.Long Hanna is our favourite first daughter and Hilman is our favourite (only) son...Because YOU ALL are what matters now. All of you, and the life we have now are the Hikmah which presented itself after we lost our baby angel...
So, to all the mothers out there who had gone through the same heart-wrenching experience of losing your babies, I hope this entry could somehow ease the pain which you still feel, which creeps up deep in your heart unexpectedly every now and then while you are going around your daily routine...when you suddenly think of your baby angel...
You have to believe that everything happens for a reason, and there is always a Hikmah behind it. The Hikmah will be in different forms for different people, and sometimes you might not even know or realize it as the Hikmah. But, whatever form it takes, you will have to embrace that Hikmah, and the pain will be so, so, so much more bearable...And in time, all the sadness that you felt or are now feeling will be a memory so precious that you will not cry because of the grief, but instead you will cry because of the joy that Hikmah brings you...
To MY baby angel, and all the baby angels up there in Heaven - whom I know are safe in HIS care... Al-Fatihah...
Do'akan Mommy and Ayah will see you there....one day... Insya Allah...
Wassalam...
A friend visited me at the flat this afternoon, and we started chatting about what friends normally chat about, which more often than not, have no definite starting and definitely nearly always start to look like there is no ending....(Hahaha!)
Anyway, at one point both of us started to talk about how much we have in common with each other. For a start, we share the same birthday, albeit, she is one year younger than me. We went to the same secondary boarding school, we both have legal backgrounds, we both are now doing our PhD in Newcastle (and check this out - under the SAME supervisor!), and we both try to avoid our supervisor whenever we can! And we somehow realized that we also have one very significant experience in common - we both lost our second babies through miscarriages in Newcastle while both of us were studying - me, while I was doing my Masters in 1997, while she was into her second year of her PhD in 2005.
And we started talking about it and how we overcame the grief of losing our babies, when at the time it happened we thought it was just not possible to be happy again...
Talking about it brought tears to my eyes, even after ten years...
I was at the stage of working on my Dissertation as part of the final requirement for my LL.M when it happened, exactly 12 weeks into my second pregnancy. Nothing could describe how shattered I was and how unfair I felt life was to me for taking my baby away from me... I can still vividly remember when Ayah made the phonecall to tell my supervisor the news. The tears from my eyes just could not stop flowing! I refused to speak to anybody who called to ask how I was - even the sound of the phone ringing was so unbearable because I just could not understand why people wanted to know what actually happened, and how I was coping. I just lost my child! How did they think I was coping??!! I just did not want to talk about it. I did not know what happened - I just knew that I had lost my baby. Every time the phone rang I would start crying... (In retrospect, we are so thankful that we had so many people out there who cared about me and Haizal...Thank you so much, for all your do'a through that very difficult time for us).
I had so many questions on my mind - why did it happen? why did it happen to me? was there anything that I did which caused the miscarriage? was it a baby boy? was it a baby girl?
Ayah was very, very sad, too...but, he had to be strong for Mommy. I still remember the words that he said - "Ada hikmah behind all of these, sayang... The baby could have been very severely deformed, or very seriously ill if the pregnancy were to continue until full term, maybe. Your body has a natural way of knowing all these and that was why you had the miscarriage... Kita kena banyak bersabar..."
But, at that point in time, I was just too distraught to accept any words of comfort from anyone, even from your Ayah. I was full of self-pity that I forgot that Ayah was also feeling the pain....I remember saying to myself when I was feeling really down - "What hikmah can there be when I had just lost a child?!"
But now, I know what the hikmah were and are...
Had the pregnancy continued to full term, my baby would have been born in March 1998, and chances were - Ayah and Mommy would not have tried for another baby so soon after that. And chances were, YOU would not have been born into the world on 8th April, 1999 - the next year...
YOU, Hasya Sofea Haizal - my darling princess, WERE and ARE the Hikmah...
You have brought so much joy to our lives, and never fail to continue bringing it, in your very special way.... And we want you to always know, as your Ayah always says - You are our favourite second daughter.... just as K.Long Hanna is our favourite first daughter and Hilman is our favourite (only) son...Because YOU ALL are what matters now. All of you, and the life we have now are the Hikmah which presented itself after we lost our baby angel...
So, to all the mothers out there who had gone through the same heart-wrenching experience of losing your babies, I hope this entry could somehow ease the pain which you still feel, which creeps up deep in your heart unexpectedly every now and then while you are going around your daily routine...when you suddenly think of your baby angel...
You have to believe that everything happens for a reason, and there is always a Hikmah behind it. The Hikmah will be in different forms for different people, and sometimes you might not even know or realize it as the Hikmah. But, whatever form it takes, you will have to embrace that Hikmah, and the pain will be so, so, so much more bearable...And in time, all the sadness that you felt or are now feeling will be a memory so precious that you will not cry because of the grief, but instead you will cry because of the joy that Hikmah brings you...
To MY baby angel, and all the baby angels up there in Heaven - whom I know are safe in HIS care... Al-Fatihah...
Do'akan Mommy and Ayah will see you there....one day... Insya Allah...
Wassalam...
Truly, Madly, Deeply....
Thoughts recorded on February 08, 2007...
I was at the library for 4 solid hours today - quite remarkable for my standard! But, by the end of the 4 hours my brain was so saturated and it felt like it was going to explode...and I asked myself, "What am I doing here - asserting mental pain and anguish onto myself, being so far away from my hubby and kids for this PhD 'thingy'?!" (Yep! Sometimes it is reduced to just being a 'thingy' for me, especially when I'm really down and stuck with 'i-don't-even-know what' in my research and writing...)
Frankly speaking, I don't really know why I'm doing this 'thingy'. I am not an ambitious person, never was. When I did my first degree, it was somewhat expected of everyone anyway...
When I was pursuing my Bar Degree, it was simply because my boyfriend (who is now my legally-wedded husband - your Ayah) had 2 more years in the UK before getting his MBBS - and I did not want to go back to Malaysia and be so far away from him for 2 years! So, basically, the reason for me to do my Bar was to buy time - 1 full year of it! After getting my Bar, I was called back home by my sponsors, and Ayah and I had to part at the end of 1992. It was really tough, but, we survived our long-distance relationship...
We got married in September 1994 when Ayah literally came back from the UK for just over 2 weeks to say "I do", and off he went back again, and I stayed on in Malaysia because of our career commitments. It was really tough being in a long-distance relationship, especially when you are husband and wife, but Ayah managed to come back every now and then..., but, we survived that, too...
When I discovered I was pregnant with you, Hanna, I didn't have to think at all when I quit my job as a lawyer (Yep! Sounds like "Wow!", but it was just a job, like any other jobs out there), and I joined Ayah in the UK.
When Arwah Tok Andak offered if I wanted to do my Masters under a University's scholarship he was affiliated to in 1996, I said to myself, "Why not?". Hanna, you were already 1 year old and Wan Nyah and her family were also there in Newcastle (Ayah Nyah was doing his PhD then). Wan Nyah was ever-willing to take care of you when I had to go for my classes (..and I don't think I have ever thanked you enough for that, Lala..THANK YOU SO MUCH, SIS!!)
And now, my PhD 'thingy'. I realized that I'm doing it because it just so happened that it "was my turn" in the Department to do it. So, here I am...(Hmmm...that answers my question earlier on as to why I'm here?!!!). Again, I have to go through a long distance relationship which is even tougher because it now involves me, Ayah and you - Hanna, Hasya, Hilman...)
But, insya Allah, just as it was with my Bar (which was for the sake of "buying time"), and just as it was with my LLM (which was for the sake of "why not"), and now with my PhD (which is because "it is my turn in the Department to do it"), Insya Allah I will get through this, and I will survive yet another long distance relationship.
As I said, I am not and have never been that ambitious, but whatever I chose to do, Syukur Alhamdulillah my path to success has been quite smooth...Allah has been VERY kind to me, and I strongly believe it is because of the do'a from Jaddati - my dearest, dearest Mom - your Grandmother, and I know that there is nothing that I could do in my lifetime and beyond that could equal her do'a for me...
And when I think about the choices that I have made in life, I always think of this one time when somebody ACTUALLY asked me why I was "JUST a lecturer" when I could have been a high-profile corporate lawyer or something along that line, with all the "incidental" qualifications that I have. You know what? That question never offended me and it will never offend me because I CHOSE THIS LIFE... I have no regrets at all, and if I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
My darling Hanna, Hasya and Hilman,
I am not saying that you all should not be ambitious. Far from it! What I'm saying is, you will know what YOU want in life when the time comes. And YOU will have to strive for it, and YOU will have to make some sacrifices along the way to get what YOU want...
And Just like Jaddati, I will always be there and make do'a for you wherever I am, wherever you are, for whatever it is that you choose your life to be. And if all of you achieve whatever it is that YOU know is what YOU want in life, I know that you all will be -TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY HAPPY with that life that you choose, just as I am TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY HAPPY with the life I chose.
Allah has put me where I was and where I am today for a reason, irrespective of whatever I thought the reasons were/are...And HE has guided me in choosing the path that I am following, and my do'a is that HE will guide you in choosing the path for you to follow...
To all you ambitious and unambitious people out there, wherever you are - are you Truly, Madly, Deeply Happy with the life you chose....?
Have a great weekend, guys...
Wassalam
I was at the library for 4 solid hours today - quite remarkable for my standard! But, by the end of the 4 hours my brain was so saturated and it felt like it was going to explode...and I asked myself, "What am I doing here - asserting mental pain and anguish onto myself, being so far away from my hubby and kids for this PhD 'thingy'?!" (Yep! Sometimes it is reduced to just being a 'thingy' for me, especially when I'm really down and stuck with 'i-don't-even-know what' in my research and writing...)
Frankly speaking, I don't really know why I'm doing this 'thingy'. I am not an ambitious person, never was. When I did my first degree, it was somewhat expected of everyone anyway...
When I was pursuing my Bar Degree, it was simply because my boyfriend (who is now my legally-wedded husband - your Ayah) had 2 more years in the UK before getting his MBBS - and I did not want to go back to Malaysia and be so far away from him for 2 years! So, basically, the reason for me to do my Bar was to buy time - 1 full year of it! After getting my Bar, I was called back home by my sponsors, and Ayah and I had to part at the end of 1992. It was really tough, but, we survived our long-distance relationship...
We got married in September 1994 when Ayah literally came back from the UK for just over 2 weeks to say "I do", and off he went back again, and I stayed on in Malaysia because of our career commitments. It was really tough being in a long-distance relationship, especially when you are husband and wife, but Ayah managed to come back every now and then..., but, we survived that, too...
When I discovered I was pregnant with you, Hanna, I didn't have to think at all when I quit my job as a lawyer (Yep! Sounds like "Wow!", but it was just a job, like any other jobs out there), and I joined Ayah in the UK.
When Arwah Tok Andak offered if I wanted to do my Masters under a University's scholarship he was affiliated to in 1996, I said to myself, "Why not?". Hanna, you were already 1 year old and Wan Nyah and her family were also there in Newcastle (Ayah Nyah was doing his PhD then). Wan Nyah was ever-willing to take care of you when I had to go for my classes (..and I don't think I have ever thanked you enough for that, Lala..THANK YOU SO MUCH, SIS!!)
And now, my PhD 'thingy'. I realized that I'm doing it because it just so happened that it "was my turn" in the Department to do it. So, here I am...(Hmmm...that answers my question earlier on as to why I'm here?!!!). Again, I have to go through a long distance relationship which is even tougher because it now involves me, Ayah and you - Hanna, Hasya, Hilman...)
But, insya Allah, just as it was with my Bar (which was for the sake of "buying time"), and just as it was with my LLM (which was for the sake of "why not"), and now with my PhD (which is because "it is my turn in the Department to do it"), Insya Allah I will get through this, and I will survive yet another long distance relationship.
As I said, I am not and have never been that ambitious, but whatever I chose to do, Syukur Alhamdulillah my path to success has been quite smooth...Allah has been VERY kind to me, and I strongly believe it is because of the do'a from Jaddati - my dearest, dearest Mom - your Grandmother, and I know that there is nothing that I could do in my lifetime and beyond that could equal her do'a for me...
And when I think about the choices that I have made in life, I always think of this one time when somebody ACTUALLY asked me why I was "JUST a lecturer" when I could have been a high-profile corporate lawyer or something along that line, with all the "incidental" qualifications that I have. You know what? That question never offended me and it will never offend me because I CHOSE THIS LIFE... I have no regrets at all, and if I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
My darling Hanna, Hasya and Hilman,
I am not saying that you all should not be ambitious. Far from it! What I'm saying is, you will know what YOU want in life when the time comes. And YOU will have to strive for it, and YOU will have to make some sacrifices along the way to get what YOU want...
And Just like Jaddati, I will always be there and make do'a for you wherever I am, wherever you are, for whatever it is that you choose your life to be. And if all of you achieve whatever it is that YOU know is what YOU want in life, I know that you all will be -TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY HAPPY with that life that you choose, just as I am TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY HAPPY with the life I chose.
Allah has put me where I was and where I am today for a reason, irrespective of whatever I thought the reasons were/are...And HE has guided me in choosing the path that I am following, and my do'a is that HE will guide you in choosing the path for you to follow...
To all you ambitious and unambitious people out there, wherever you are - are you Truly, Madly, Deeply Happy with the life you chose....?
Have a great weekend, guys...
Wassalam
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Hmmmm....Whaddaya know...
Thoughts recorded on February 07, 2007...
I drew the curtains this morning and was gobsmacked to be greeted by the whiteness in front of me....Yep! It actually snowed some time last night - probably when I was rambling my first ramble, oblivious to what was happening outside.
The snow REALLY brings back a lot of sweet memories... Yep! Memories of Winter 2003/04 when I started my PhD - back then the kids and their Ayah were with with me here in Newcastle. I can still remember how excited Hanna, Hasya and Hilman were - that being their first experience of snow...Well, at least for the two younger ones. All of you were lying down on the snow - making "snow-angels", trying (really hard!) to make a snowman - using all kinds of vegetables you all could find in the kitchen, to make the nose, the eyes, the mouth, etc! But we never really did get it right, did we? The Koreans ALWAYS came out with the bigger and better snowman! Well, the most important thing was - we had FUN!!! And oh yes - how can I forget the snowfights?!! You all looked so adorable - all wrapped up like little Eskimos - Hilman especially! Well, he did look like an eskimo boy - what with his oriental eyes, very fair skin, red lips, red nose, and of course - the chubbiness!!!
The snow also brings back one very significant memory for me and Ayah. To be exact, the first snowdrop for Newcastle for that year fell on the day Hanna was born on - 17th November 1995. I can still remember that very special day - the day I became a "Mommy" for the first time. The contraction started at 4:15a.m and I woke Ayah up and said to him, "It's time, sayang...". I actually took my time to get changed (hey! I wanted to look good arriving at the hospital!) And Ayah also took time to scrape the snow off the windscreen, putting the de-icer, etc. The whole rigmurals - from bedroom to finally got strapped into the seatbelts in the car took us about half an hour! The journey to Royal Victoria Infirmary from Forest Hall which would normally have taken under 20 minutes, took us nearly an hour because of the snow. But, Ayah was very calm, and did not panic even though the contractions were quite strong and they were like going down from 20 minutes to 10 minutes apart over that one hour journey to RVI! You know how your Ayah is....always so calm and collected in an emergency (that sometimes I feel like hitting him!!! Hahaha!)
By the time we reached the hospital, at 5:30.m, the contractions were becoming unbearable. But, me being a first-timer did not ask for anything for the pain (and your Ayah did not suggest anything for it, too!!!). So, I was only on enthanox (a.k.a "the laughing gas") which didn't really help much... The fact that your heartbeat went down everytime I had contractions brought about 5 doctors into the labour room (not counting your Ayah, that is - who, I think at that time was beginning to lose his "calmness and collectedness"). I could see it on his face that he was worried, but he still smiled and held my hands throughout the labour. Well, to be precise I was holding (or rather squeezing his hand REALLY hard, like there was no tomorrow - and he swore that the bruises and pain on his hands were there for the next 3 days!!! Hahaha!)
Syukur alhamdulillah, at 7:33 a.m, you - Hanna Suhaila Haizal, were born into the world - perfect little bundle of joy - all 3.54kg of you, with black spiky hair nearly touching your shoulders, cute little ruby lips, skin all pink and fresh, fingers all curled up into a fist, ready to punch the whole world out there!!! It had been a rather short labour for Mommy. It was only about 3 hours - from the time of the first contractions until you were born. The pain was all worthed it...And I would do it all over again (and Oooops! I did it (twice) again when I had Hasya and Hilman... Hahaha!)
Yep - the snow really brings back very sweet memories... But, for today - I'm not sure if I'm going ahead with my plan to go to the library... The thought of going through the snow which is evidently starting to melt now...Hmmmm...I'll decide after having my coffee (I don't know which one coz' I would normally take coffee 3 times a day...) Have a good day guys - snow or no snow - wherever you are...
Wassalam....
I drew the curtains this morning and was gobsmacked to be greeted by the whiteness in front of me....Yep! It actually snowed some time last night - probably when I was rambling my first ramble, oblivious to what was happening outside.
The snow REALLY brings back a lot of sweet memories... Yep! Memories of Winter 2003/04 when I started my PhD - back then the kids and their Ayah were with with me here in Newcastle. I can still remember how excited Hanna, Hasya and Hilman were - that being their first experience of snow...Well, at least for the two younger ones. All of you were lying down on the snow - making "snow-angels", trying (really hard!) to make a snowman - using all kinds of vegetables you all could find in the kitchen, to make the nose, the eyes, the mouth, etc! But we never really did get it right, did we? The Koreans ALWAYS came out with the bigger and better snowman! Well, the most important thing was - we had FUN!!! And oh yes - how can I forget the snowfights?!! You all looked so adorable - all wrapped up like little Eskimos - Hilman especially! Well, he did look like an eskimo boy - what with his oriental eyes, very fair skin, red lips, red nose, and of course - the chubbiness!!!
The snow also brings back one very significant memory for me and Ayah. To be exact, the first snowdrop for Newcastle for that year fell on the day Hanna was born on - 17th November 1995. I can still remember that very special day - the day I became a "Mommy" for the first time. The contraction started at 4:15a.m and I woke Ayah up and said to him, "It's time, sayang...". I actually took my time to get changed (hey! I wanted to look good arriving at the hospital!) And Ayah also took time to scrape the snow off the windscreen, putting the de-icer, etc. The whole rigmurals - from bedroom to finally got strapped into the seatbelts in the car took us about half an hour! The journey to Royal Victoria Infirmary from Forest Hall which would normally have taken under 20 minutes, took us nearly an hour because of the snow. But, Ayah was very calm, and did not panic even though the contractions were quite strong and they were like going down from 20 minutes to 10 minutes apart over that one hour journey to RVI! You know how your Ayah is....always so calm and collected in an emergency (that sometimes I feel like hitting him!!! Hahaha!)
By the time we reached the hospital, at 5:30.m, the contractions were becoming unbearable. But, me being a first-timer did not ask for anything for the pain (and your Ayah did not suggest anything for it, too!!!). So, I was only on enthanox (a.k.a "the laughing gas") which didn't really help much... The fact that your heartbeat went down everytime I had contractions brought about 5 doctors into the labour room (not counting your Ayah, that is - who, I think at that time was beginning to lose his "calmness and collectedness"). I could see it on his face that he was worried, but he still smiled and held my hands throughout the labour. Well, to be precise I was holding (or rather squeezing his hand REALLY hard, like there was no tomorrow - and he swore that the bruises and pain on his hands were there for the next 3 days!!! Hahaha!)
Syukur alhamdulillah, at 7:33 a.m, you - Hanna Suhaila Haizal, were born into the world - perfect little bundle of joy - all 3.54kg of you, with black spiky hair nearly touching your shoulders, cute little ruby lips, skin all pink and fresh, fingers all curled up into a fist, ready to punch the whole world out there!!! It had been a rather short labour for Mommy. It was only about 3 hours - from the time of the first contractions until you were born. The pain was all worthed it...And I would do it all over again (and Oooops! I did it (twice) again when I had Hasya and Hilman... Hahaha!)
Yep - the snow really brings back very sweet memories... But, for today - I'm not sure if I'm going ahead with my plan to go to the library... The thought of going through the snow which is evidently starting to melt now...Hmmmm...I'll decide after having my coffee (I don't know which one coz' I would normally take coffee 3 times a day...) Have a good day guys - snow or no snow - wherever you are...
Wassalam....
First Ramble and definitely not going to be the last...
Thoughts recorded on February 07, 2007...
Anuar Zain is crooning his heart out in the background, and here I am rambling whatever needs to be rambled about at this godforsaken wee hours of Wednesday 7 February 2007.
The idea of starting this blog came from a friend who knew how stressed out I have been in this foreign land, thousands of miles away from my hubby and kids - TRYING to finish off my PhD thesis by the end of this year, insya Allah... It can be pretty lonely at times (and listening to Anuar Zain 24/7 is not helping much either...Hahaha...No offence, ok Anuar?)
I guess the purpose of this blog is just for me to voice out my feelings as a mother and a wife, who at this point in time, is not really there for my kids and for my hubby, and for that - I am really sorry...All of you have given such tremendous support and encouragement to me, and for that I am truly grateful...and I promise that I wil make up for the lost times - the missed birthdays, the late nights of TLCs when you all have been sick (and Ayah and Wan had to take over my role as "Mommy"), the cheers by the sideline when you guys were giving your best in everything you were doing. I just want all of you to know that even though I am not there physically, my heart and soul, and my do'a are ALWAYS there...every single second, with every beat of my heart...
And Ayah, I just want you to know that you are doing a great job with the kids. I know it's not easy, with you being all tied-up with clinics, procedures, meetings, teachings and all the things that you do at work, and yet, you try your very best to be with the kids every single night before they go to bed... and I know the kids feel very much closer to you now. So, maybe all these are blessings in disguise?
I need your blessings and do'a to pull through the next few months here, and sometimes when I don't say the words when we speak over the phone, I hope the words will present themselves on this blog. And, the words for tonight are -
I LOVE AND MISS ALL OF YOU SO VERY MUCH...
To all those who have tuned in to this blog -
I know this blog seems to be so melancholic - well, it is how I am feeling right now...But, rest assured - my ramblings will also play different tunes as and when I deem it necessary to dance to different tunes... Hey, I have three kids who are of different personalities (a sanguine, a choleric, and a phlegmatic), not to mention a hubby who is basically quite a confused guy with all three traits in him PLUS a melancholic trait!!!). And, of course - my "kawan-kawan yang tak berkembang" a.k.a "Majlis Tertinggi", who have also coloured my life in their own ways.... You know who you are!
So, my ramblings are bound to be, how shall I put it? ...worth being rambled by...
Good night guys... wherever you are...
Wassalam...
Anuar Zain is crooning his heart out in the background, and here I am rambling whatever needs to be rambled about at this godforsaken wee hours of Wednesday 7 February 2007.
The idea of starting this blog came from a friend who knew how stressed out I have been in this foreign land, thousands of miles away from my hubby and kids - TRYING to finish off my PhD thesis by the end of this year, insya Allah... It can be pretty lonely at times (and listening to Anuar Zain 24/7 is not helping much either...Hahaha...No offence, ok Anuar?)
I guess the purpose of this blog is just for me to voice out my feelings as a mother and a wife, who at this point in time, is not really there for my kids and for my hubby, and for that - I am really sorry...All of you have given such tremendous support and encouragement to me, and for that I am truly grateful...and I promise that I wil make up for the lost times - the missed birthdays, the late nights of TLCs when you all have been sick (and Ayah and Wan had to take over my role as "Mommy"), the cheers by the sideline when you guys were giving your best in everything you were doing. I just want all of you to know that even though I am not there physically, my heart and soul, and my do'a are ALWAYS there...every single second, with every beat of my heart...
And Ayah, I just want you to know that you are doing a great job with the kids. I know it's not easy, with you being all tied-up with clinics, procedures, meetings, teachings and all the things that you do at work, and yet, you try your very best to be with the kids every single night before they go to bed... and I know the kids feel very much closer to you now. So, maybe all these are blessings in disguise?
I need your blessings and do'a to pull through the next few months here, and sometimes when I don't say the words when we speak over the phone, I hope the words will present themselves on this blog. And, the words for tonight are -
I LOVE AND MISS ALL OF YOU SO VERY MUCH...
To all those who have tuned in to this blog -
I know this blog seems to be so melancholic - well, it is how I am feeling right now...But, rest assured - my ramblings will also play different tunes as and when I deem it necessary to dance to different tunes... Hey, I have three kids who are of different personalities (a sanguine, a choleric, and a phlegmatic), not to mention a hubby who is basically quite a confused guy with all three traits in him PLUS a melancholic trait!!!). And, of course - my "kawan-kawan yang tak berkembang" a.k.a "Majlis Tertinggi", who have also coloured my life in their own ways.... You know who you are!
So, my ramblings are bound to be, how shall I put it? ...worth being rambled by...
Good night guys... wherever you are...
Wassalam...
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