Sunday, March 18, 2007

The 'not so final' countdown...


Thoughts recorded on March 06, 2007


Ayah was having his lunch (at 4:15pm?!) when I called him just now. Apparently he had just finished a four and a half hour angio procedure and was just grabbing some pizzas before continuing with the next one. He was munching away while we talked as he needed to get back to the lab, like - THEN?! (Ayah, I hope you will jaga your makan-minum while I'm not there!)

Anyway, Ayah managed to tell me that Hilman called him just now, and that got him worried because Hilman would ONLY call Ayah if there was an emergency - like yesterday when he locked himself out of his room, and could not prepare himself for school as all his uniform and school stuff were in the room, and he called Ayah - who had to leave the hospital and go back home to open the door for him...

But, what came next, brought a lump to Ayah's throat : Hilman asked - "Ayah...how many days more is Mommy coming back...?"

Ayah had to check the calendar, and told him - "99 more days lagi, Hilman..."

"Okay...thanks, Ayah. Bye", Hilman replied.

"Is that all, Hilman?", Ayah asked.

"Uh-uh", Hilman answered, and put down the phone...

"He must be really missing you now, Mommy...", Ayah said to me.

Well, my dearest, I really miss all of you so very much, too...

You see, Hilman and I would always do a countdown of the days I would be back EVERYTIME I was away before this, and everytime we spoke to each other on the phone, I would ask him - "Hilman, how many more days is Mommy coming home?", and he would excitedly shout out the exact, correct number of days everytime!

But, this time around I decided not to do the countdown with Hilman because the number of days we would be apart this time would be just, too agonisingly, into the hundreds... and I didn't want to put him through the agony of waiting....Just let Mommy go through it for you, okay sayang? We can start the countdown at "40", maybe?

But, I bet - tonight when I call and speak to him, he will already, and excitedly start the countdown... It's okay, I guess - as it is worthed doing the countdown for when you REALLY long for something....or someone...

So, to all of you out there who are doing your own countdowns, and waiting agonizingly for something to happen - whatever it may be, wherever you are... just make sure that it IS something that is worthed waiting for... and worthed doing the countdown for...

Wassalam...

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